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I am a conservative, but I am not a zombie.

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Zombie Stomp

I don't need a doctor
But I need something to kill the pain
Don't know what I'm after
But the pressure's driving me insane
Searching for a different role
Had a funny feeling I can't hide
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Why can't they just let me be
Alone without the misery
Hey, hey, do the Zombie, Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Flirting with disaster
Morning after killing me again
Hiding from the laughter
And the demons dancing round my brain
Always dancing on thin ice
I guess I'll have to pay the price
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Thinkin' how it could have been
If I had never let them in
Hey, hey, do the Zombie, Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Take me to the doctor
'Cause I feel it coming on again
Don't know where I'm going
'Cause I guess I don't know where I've been
Looking for a different ride
Always dancing on thin ice
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Thinking how it could have been
If I had never let them in
Hey, hey, do the Zombie, Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp
Hey, hey, do the Zombie Stomp

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Zombie Zoo

All down the street they're standin' in line
With white lipstick and one thing on their mind
Hey little freak with the lunch pail purse
Underneath th e paint you're just a little girl
Dancin' at the zombie zoo, dancin' at the zombie zoo
Painted in a corner and all you wanna do
Is dance down at the zombie zoo
Cute little dropout, how come you pack a rod
Is your mother in a clinic ? has your father got no job ?
Sometimes you're so impulsive,
You shaved off all you're hair
You look like boris karloff and you don't even care
You're dancin' at the zombie zoo,
Dancin' at the zombie zoo
Painted in a corner and all you wanna do is
Dance down at the zombie zoo
She disappears at sunrise, i wonder where
She goes until the night
Comes fallin' down again
She shows up with her friends half-alive
You can make a big impression or
Go through life unseen
You might wind up restricted and over seventeen
It's so hard to be careful, so easy to be lead
Somewhere beyond the pavement
You'll find the living dead
Dancin' at the zombie zoo, dancin' at the zombie zoo
Painted in a corner and all you wanna do
Is dance down at the zombie zoo
Yeah dancin at the zombie zoo
Yeah dancin at the zombie zoo

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Better, Deeper, More Intelligent

Better, deeper, more intelligent,
and sensitive than us, Jane Austen
provides a literary environment
in which we all, by getting lost in
admiration for her heroines,
feel so diminished we conclude
whichever of the many heroes wins
their heart is an unlucky dude.

Riding with her, dressed by Abercombie
and Fitch is not the sort of way
I’d like to spend my time. I’m not a zombie.
Perhaps because I am not gay
I can’t relate to all the topics Jane
obsesses on, and in Northanger
Abbey heroines would all complain
I was a crashing bore and wanker.

“Why couldn’t all these heroines go out
and get a job? ” was asked by Emma––
not Jane’s, Ms. Thompson’s Emma, without doubt
a heroine who’s not a femi-
nist––oh horrid word––but understands
how prejudice which is their pride
lands nearly all of them in Jane’s badlands
composed of English countryside.

Who needs a woman who is deeper than
themselves, far better, surely, and
far more intelligent? I’m not that man.
Although I think I understand
what all her heroines are saying, I
don’t look for girls who're good or deep.
I’m merely looking for the sort who’ll lie
with me before I fall asleep.

Inspired by an article by Jennifer Schuessler on “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, ” by Seth Grahame-Smith (“I Was a Regency Zombie, ” NYT, February 22,2009) :

The classic examples of that would be any speech by Judi Dench — her accent certainly helps — or Emma Thompson’s understated, wryly funny acceptance speech at the 1996 Oscars, when she won the award for best adapted screenplay for “Sense and Sensibility.”
“Before I came, I went to visit Jane Austen’s grave in Winchester Cathedral to pay my respects, you know, and tell her about the grosses, ” she said. She also thanked Sidney Pollack “for asking the right questions, like, ‘Why couldn’t these women go out and get a job? ’ ” Ms. Thompson — who accepted another award, at the Golden Globes, with a speech in the style of Jane Austen herself — then did what cool British award winners do: she put the Oscar in her guest bathroom.

These days, America is menaced by zombie banks and zombie computers. What’s next, a zombie Jane Austen? In fact, yes. Minor pandemonium ensued in the blogosphere this month after Quirk Books announced the publication of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, ” an edition of Austen’s classic juiced up with “all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem” by a Los Angeles television writer named Seth Grahame-Smith. (First line: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”) … In fact, “Pride and Prejudice” may already be a zombie novel, contends Brad Pasanek, a specialist in 18th-century literature at the University of Virginia. “The characters other than the protagonist are so often surrounded by people who aren’t fully human, like machines that keep repeating the same things over and over again, ” Professor Pasanek said. “All those characters shuffling in and out of scenes, always frustrating the protagonists. It’s a crowded but eerie landscape. What’s wrong with those people? They don’t dance well but move in jerky fits. Oh, they are headed this way! ” While the vast industry of Austen sequels and pastiches runs heavily toward the romance-novel end of the literary spectrum - see “The Private Diary of Mr. Darcy” by Maya Slater, to be published in the United States in June - scholars have long emphasized the mean-girl side of Jane’s personality. Professor Pasanek, who has collaborated on a project that uses spam-detection software to analyze Austen fan fiction, cites the psychologist D. W. Harding’s 1940 essay “Regulated Hatred, ” which sounds more like a death-metal band than a piece of influential Austen scholarship.“Most people try to ignore the fact that Austen’s novels are sort of acid baths, ” Professor Pasanek said. “She’s so much better, deeper, more sensitive and intelligent than everyone around her that she has to regulate her own misanthropy. Her novels are hostile environments.”


2/22/09

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Zombie Feeding Time

He sighs with weight deep in his breath
Marked by unease in his dog collar vests
While dutifully watching the concrete frontier
For the Fords and Escalades that march at the rear
While the infantry marines of dodge caravans
Spew there side doors with kindergarten clans
There's no rest for the weary mobilized at his station
When its times to collect for the fast food nation

It's a zombie feeding time
At the Alamo funhouse ride
Where as guests you may engorge
Your Esophagus on wage slave clerks

They commence like clockwork starving for more
When the sun beams decent, between noon and four
S.U.V. always searching for the nearest parking space
Its unfortunate the handicap wins with first place
Seconds tick as he runs, through the parking lot stalls
Dodging enemy combatants, in their long rental hauls
Picking up what he can of double-deckers and singles
To barricade the foyer for the waves of avengers

It's the zombie feeding time
The dinner gong ring's for the blind
They rendezvous together as a hive
And get frustrated at the checkmark line

It's a random stampede in the social pedigree
East end couch fleas, and the Summertown gantry
Silver girl divas with green cards to heaven
Denim grease dukes that dress like their eleven
Converging unison for their appetites appointment
Getting caught in the tracks of fliers and sweepstakes
Salivating for new cravens, with half price of a purchase
It's a grill, it's a pool, and it's a box of macaroons
A life time worth of soda, or guarantee on free salami
Everything is equal gain, even if it blows your tummy

It's a zombie feeding time
For carnivore mercenary pride
You can be a social epidemic
Bickering complaints to the empty apathetic

Through the glass doors he watches them come
Lugubrious movements from across the parking lot
From the T.D. Bank on the corner of Brookdale
Across the Westside the garden center at 'Clair's'
It's an all eat buffet, with an income you can pay
Try to be a man and fight with honors' to sway

[...] Read more

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Im A Conservative

Pop
I used to lead a quiet life
In fact it was a bare existence
I passed out on many floors
I dont do that any more
Hello my friends
Is everybody happy?
Hey look me over
Lend me an ear
Im a conservative
I like the small black marks on my hands
Im a conservative
I like the crazy girls that I screw
Hey I know them all well
And when I run out of bread I laugh
All the way to the bank
Sometimes I pause for a drink
Conservatism aint no easy job
I smile in the mornings
I live without a care
Nothing is denied me
And nothing ever hurts
I got bored so Im making my millions
When youre conservative you get a better break
Youre always on the rigltt side
When youre conservative
You walk with pride
Pride is on your side
Pride pride pride
Is on our side
Oh boy
Pride is on our side
I like my beer
I like my bread
I love my girl
I love my head
Im in the clear man
Im in the dear
Because Im a conservative
Im a conservative
I really am
Ohyeslam
And it would mean so much to me
If you would only be like me
Yes it could mean so much to me
Hey look me over
Lend me an ear
Im a conservative

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Zombie Zoo

Tom petty
All down the street they're standin in line
With white lipstick and one thing on their mind
Hey little freak with the lunch pail purse
Underneath the paint you're just a little girl
Dancin at the zombie zoo, dancin at the zombie zoo
Painted in a corner and all you wanna do
Is dance down at the zombie zoo
Cute little dropout, how come you pack a rod?
Is your mother in a clinic? has your father got no job?
Sometimes you're so impulsive you shaved off all your hair
You look like boris karloff and you don't even care
You're dancin at the zombie zoo dancin at the zombie zoo
She disappears at sunrise, i wonder where she goes until
The night comes fallin down again she shows
Up with her friends half-alive
You can make a big impression or go through life unseen
You might wind up restricted and over seventeen
It's so hard to be careful, so easy to be led
Somewhere beyond the pavement you'll find the living dead

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Anxiety

I HAVE been anxious for days
jumping and running
for no visible reason
like a flea
like a grasshopper
always
doing things
because
these actions
are nothing
but routine

a routinary
anxiety
just like
taking a bath
or brushing
my teeth


i worry
For the days to come
And I ask
what are these days?
why are these days coming to me?
like some worms
clinging eating
a rotten
piece of wood

What I am worrying about?

for god's sake
why don't you answer my phone?

where were you last night?
who was with you?
and why are you getting fat?
what food are you eating?


I am wrecked
Nerves entangled
like loose threads
like grasses
growing all over
a garden
like some weeds
in the wilderness
like some pieces

[...] Read more

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I am the Internet zombie

I am the Internet zombie
I have no heart
Because no-one
Talks to me

I have no ears
My hands are out
In front of me
Com Zombie

I do not like sky
Or fresh air
Just the bright screen
In front of me

I am the Internet zombie
I do not eat
I do not leave
My office bedroom

I do not sleep
Instead I zzz the screen
Just read me
I am the Internet zombie

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Zombie In The Rain

My eyes are blank and empty
And I am not sane
My soul is empty also
I'm a zombie in the rain.

I'm not feeling anything
Tho my body is in pain
I just don't give a damn
I'm a zombie in the rain.

I could freeze and not know it
My body is on the wane
I'm empty and don't realize
I'm a zombie in the rain.

The is no future for me
Only a cessation of pain
I don't feel it anyway
I'm a zombie in the rain.

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Zombie

Another head hangs lowly
Child is slowly taken
And the violence caused such silence
Who are we mistaken
But you see it's not me,
it's not my family
In your head, in your
head they are fighting
With their tanks and their bombs
And their bombs and their guns
In your head,
In your head they are cryin'
In your head
Zombie
What's in your head, in your head
Zombie
Another mother's breakin'
heart is taking over
when the violence causes silence
We must be mistaken
It's the same old theme since 1916
In your head,
In your head they're still fightin'
With their tanks and their bombs
And their bombs and their guns
In your head they are dyin'
In your head, in your head
Zombie
What's in your head, in your head
Zombie

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How To Make A Monster

She freak out at a damaged life like a jailbait in the park
A teenage wolf with a bloody knife going down in the dark
How to make a monster baby, how to get it on
How to make a monster baby, how to get it on
Go go zombie, go go yeah, yeah, yeah
Go go zombie, go go yeah, yeah, yeah
Roots in hell and time will tell if your baby is insane
A child bride with bloody eyes got satan on the brain
How to make a monster baby, how to get it on
How to make a monster baby, how to get it on
Go go zombie, go go yeah, yeah, yeah
Go go zombie, go go yeah, yeah, yeah

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A Zombie's Misfortune

A zombie stopped
by the castle
on a rainy day
A day when I
was all alone

My father
the beloved king
was far away
Away on king's
business

An encounter
with a zombie
can be
nerve wracking
or even
heart stopping

But with my
unlimited supply
of arsenals
It can be
earth shattering
for the zombie
who crosses my path

For the zombie
of creepville
I will use my
high voltage gun
For zombies
are the hardest
to kill

My plan was
a success
Peace reigned
in the kingdom
My father
came home
to a well
deserved feast

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No Rhyme Forsaken - Verse Rose versus Prose Curse - after Robert Frost

Two ways diverge on a virgin page
and happy not to travel both
as rhyme unraveller, briefly gauge,
look down on prose rants' spirit cage
pedestrian prose earns uncouth oath.

Discarding 'free verse' - rarely fair -
that freedom claim, formless but lame,
over prose I chose verse dainty where
few find fine lines simple, care
for 'worn out rhyme-schemes', won't play game.

Fate winks, linked fingers, beckoning, weigh
book leaves as yet un-inked in black,
one asks those self-styled bards today
if they'll be heard tomorrow. May
be - we doubt - they're on right track.

I won't be telling this with a sigh
as Time turns wheel, some ages hence
two roads could crisscross, would defy
current cacophony. One less travelled by
would make linguistic difference!

The road not taken Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Self-Parody written 1916 Mountain Interval

[...] Read more

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Conservative People

Conservative in their ways and in their thinking they do not embrace change in any way
They fear change as a threat to their existence as conservative through their lives they do stay
They resist change as if change is quite harmful as things were they wish them to remain
Their flawed values of rank and class distinction are things that they do fight hard to retain
Conservative people change not known to welcome on any change they like to have their say
They crave respect for their old ways of thinking whilst respect to those who want change they don't pay
No thanks to them that changes are occuring since they want to keep us tied to the past
They cannot accept that time brings with it changes that nothing as it was does seem to last,
Conservative people always in abundance their type never have been known to be rare
They live in Villages, Towns and in Cities you can meet their kind of person anywhere
To them change is something that should be resisted to the old ways with reverence they do cling
They fear change as much as they do fear the reaper as if indeed change were a dangerous thing
Suppose it takes all kinds to make up humanity and conservative people will always fight change
They look on people who to them are different as those who are untrustworthy and strange.

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Smooth And Amiable, Opaque

Smooth and amiable, opaque,
with facades like scrims, genteel,
my friends are ones you ought to take
unseriously, and for a meal
just when you think you’ve nothing better
to do, like watching television,
or sending the White House a letter,
or working out with great precision
your taxes for another audit.
Should it be that you don’t wish
to do these things and can afford it,
invite your friends to where the fish
is tastier than what you eat
at home, and then, when you come back,
resolve that you will not repeat
such invitations till you crack,
or there is nothing on TV,
and you’re not writing letters to
the President––since you can see,
unusually, his point of view––
and you’ve heard from the IRS
that you don’t owe them––this time! ––taxes.
At times like these your friends, I guess,
won’t cause you anticlimaxes.

Inspired by an article in the NYT Book Review, by Ross Dothat, January 18,2009 (“When Buckley Met Reagan”) :
On the night that William F. Buckley met Ronald Reagan, the future president of the United States put his elbow through a plate-glass window. The year was 1961, and the two men were in Beverly Hills, where Buckley, perhaps the most famous conservative in America at the tender age of 35, was giving an address at a school auditorium. Reagan, a former Hollywood leading man dabbling in political activism — the Tim Robbins or Alec Baldwin of his day — had been asked to do the introductions. But the microphone was dead, the technician was nowhere to be found and the control room was locked. As the crowd began to grumble, Reagan coolly opened one of the auditorium windows, stepped onto a ledge two stories above the street and inched his way around to the control room. He smashed his elbow through the glass and clambered in through the broken window. “In a minute there was light in the upstairs room, ” Buckley later wrote, “and then we could hear the crackling of the newly animated microphone.” This anecdote kicks off The Reagan I Knew (Basic Books, $25) , a slight and padded reminiscence published posthumously this past autumn, nine months after Buckley’s death. As a personal portrait of the 40th president, the narrative is sketchy at best: the Reagan whom Buckley knew turns out to be the Reagan most of his friends and allies knew — amiable, smooth and ultimately opaque.
What the book does offer, though, is an expansion on the theme lurking in that opening vignette, in which the man of ideas came face to face with the man of action, and the intellectual famous for describing the world met the future president eager to change it. At its most interesting, “The Reagan I Knew” provides a case study on the relationship between intellectuals and power, and specifically on the marriage between right-wing thinkers and populist politicians that has defined the modern right from the Goldwater era to our own. This union occasioned a great deal of comment during 2008, which turned out to be an annus horribilis for conservatism, and little of it was positive. Populism’s corrosive influence on the conservative mind — or the conservative mind’s cynical manipulation of populism — was cited in briefs against Sarah Palin, against the record of George W. Bush and against the entire run of conservative governance going back to Richard Nixon. Sometimes it was liberals arguing that an earlier generation of high-minded conservatives (Buckley being the prime example) would be horrified by the anti-intellectual spirit that had overtaken their movement in the age of Bush and Palin. Sometimes it was conservatives, your David Frums and Peggy Noonans, hinting at the same. And sometimes it was left-wingers — like Rick Perlstein, in his teeming history “Nixonland” — arguing that conservatives had always been cynical manipulators of populist sentiment: the mask might have slipped a bit more in the Bush era, but beneath the genteel facade provided by wordsmiths like Buckley (or William Safire or George Will or whomever) , the modern right has been Palins all the way down.

1/18/09

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Hurry Down Doomsday

The man in the corner of this picture has a sinister purpose
In the teeming temple of the railroad kings
Hes planting a trashy paperback book for accidental purchase
Containing all the secrets of life and other useless things
But I cant bring myself to look
Wake up zombie write yourself another book
You want to scream and shout my little flaxen lout
Hurry down doomsday the bugs are taking over
She sleeps with the shirt of a late, great country singer
Stretched out on her poor jealous husbands pillow
In time you can turn these obsessions into careers
While the parents of those kidnapped children start the bidding
For their tears
But I cant bring myself to look
Wake up zombie
Get yourself off the book
You want to scream and shout my little waxen lout
Hurry down doomsday the bugs are taking over
Forget about beethoven, rembrandt and rock and roll
Forget about mickey mouse, marlboro and coca cola
Forget about cadillac, mercedes and toyota
Forget about buddha, allah, jesus and jehovah
Hurry down doomsday the bugs are taking over
Any day now a giant insect mutation
Will swoop down and devour the white mans burden
Starting out with all of the sensitive ones
Better make like a fly if you dont want to die
Look out there goes gordon
But I cant bring myself to think
Wake up zombie
Kick up a big stink
You want to scream and shout my little saxon lout
Hurry down doomsday the bugs are taking over

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Hip Albatross

(low rumbling of helicopters
(Clip from Day of the Dead) Every dead body
that is not exterminated becomes
one of them; it gets up and kills!
The people it kills get up and kill!
(zombie sounds and a woman moaning)
(gunshots)
I-I-I-I was born a zombie, on mercury, by the sea
I-I-I-I was born a zombie, on mercury, by the seeeee
-eeeaaahh-aiie...
(Clip from Day of the Dead) Yah-hah,
yah I got a us an idea, lets get in that ol' whirlybird
there, find us an island someplace, get greased
up,and spend what time we got left soakin' up some sunshine!
How's that?

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Am I not a person?

Am I not a person?


It would appear.
That im not a person.
Not quite human.
More like a zombie so to say.

Am I not a person?
That is the question.
Im not a person.
Not quite human.

An emotionless wrekage.
Within the walls of brakeage.
Am I not quite a person?

Im not quite humane.
Not quite the person.
I once used to be.

Am I a person?
Or just a big mess.
And a sorry excuse
For a person?

Im not quite a person.
This I do now no.
Im more like a zombie.

Am I not quite a person.
Nope Im not.

I just one sad sorry mess.
A zombie of my formerself.
Just a sad sorry mess.
And a pethetic excuse
For a life.

Amy Kerswell

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How to Lasso a Zombie

Zombies are not afraid of crucifix or holy water
They hate sports matches, and emotional soap operas
Because they are the frozen dead
If you are lucky enough to encounter one in the wild
You can distract the zombie with rapid hand motions
While reciting some epic poem
When you find those glazed eyes upon you
Tie the zombie firmly to the nearest tree trunk
To scare away all the crows from the grounds
And prove an interesting conversation topic
When your friends come for dinner
(Zombies have no unions, and do not hold
With lawsuits- and they make great pets too)
Once you acquire one, everyone in the neighborhood
Will soon be out shopping for their own zombie
Just remember you were the original first owner
And they are all just copycats.

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And truly, when you look at the Constitution and our founding fathers and their writings, the things that made this country great, you might draw those conclusions: That they were conservative. They were fiscally conservative and socially conservative.

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