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I would rather play Hamlet with no rehearsal than TV golf.

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Adrienne Vittadini

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Handles Bermuda

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Luggage Canada

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The Tragedy Of Hamlet, Prince Of Denmark!

I write with sorrow -real and stark-
'The Tragedy Of Hamlet Prince Of Denmark'

Like Othello, The Tempest and king Lear
It's a marvel by the pen of Shakespeare

Who paints the perils of his life...
Stretched by caution, crushed by strife

He cries for the matters of the Prince
Laden with sorrows, full of sufferings

Caused by the death of Hamlet, the king
Whose love was the song he used to sing.

His mother, the queen named Gertrude
Was frail n fickle but not so rude...

Again she married Claudius, the rake,
Her brother-in-law for passions sake;

Began new life with joys and rest
Which was for all a damned incest...

Black robe clad young Hamlet alone
Was tense for the honor of Danish throne.

His mourning thoughts eclipsed his looks
Fondness for books n sports forsook...

Being in grief he lost his mirth-
Lost the pleasures touching his worth

A horrid rumour reached his ears,
shook his mind, enhanced his fears

Based on a report of three sentinels
That a ghost appeared from flames of hell

Resembling the warring late Monarch
Who fought Fortinbras, an enemy of Denmark.

No sooner he heard about this wonder
decided to watch it despite the thunder.

With guards he reached the post n then
The clock struck one and shocked the men

The ghost then appeared, beckoned the son
Who trod ahead and left everyone...

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Trash Bag

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Fitration Bags

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Golf Tees Lament

Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head

Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants

Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat

Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys

Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.

Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.

Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?

Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails

Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats

But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!

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You're Not From Brighton

Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used, funk as we used to
You're not from Brighton
You're not from Brighton
You're not from Brighton
You're, you're, you're, you're
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Funk as we used to play
Said check baby, check baby
Check baby, check said
Check baby, check baby
Check one two
Check baby, check baby
Check baby, check said
Check check baby
Check check one two
Check baby, check baby
Check baby, check said
Check baby, check baby
Check one two, ha
Check baby, check baby
Check baby, check said
Check baby, check baby
Check one two, ha
Check baby, check baby
Check baby, check said
Check baby, check baby
Check one two, ha
Check baby, check baby
Check baby, check said
Check baby, check baby
Check one two
Said check one two, check one two
Check one two, check one two

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I Can Play (Lyrics) :

He didn't give himself up to fear.
And his voice had a life of its own.
He didn't give himself up for broke.
Just a man who played his guitar.

He said 'I can play the guitar', 'I can play it clear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.
'I can play the songs that you want to hear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.

'I can play the guitar'.'I can play it clear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.
'I can play the songs that you want to hear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.

He didn't give himself up to drinking beer.
His voice still had a life of its own.
And he didn't give himself up for smoke.
Just a man who played his guitar.

He said 'I can play the guitar'.'I can play it clear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.
'I can play the songs that you want to hear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.

'I can play the guitar'.'I can play it clear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.
'I can play the songs that you want to hear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.

He didn't give himself up to curcumstance.
Always tried to make it alone.
He didn't give himself up to telling lies.
His honesty was already shown.
Always kept himself up to par.
Just a man who played his guitar.

He said 'I can play the guitar'.'I can play it clear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.
'I can play the songs that you want to hear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.

'I can play the guitar'.'I can play it clear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'.
'I can play the songs that you want to hear'.
'I can play the guitar'.'I can play'...

Rock Lyric By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 1987,2009..
ALL rights reserved..

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Healthy Back Bag

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Theatre Of The Absurd

(ian hunter)
My tea turned seven shades darker
As I sit n write these words
And londons gettin paler
In my theatre of the absurd.
You figured for an evening
And you made it all worthwile.
Its seldom people have a job
And even rarer that I smile.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Teach your children to be them
And never ever ours.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Someone took the park away
But they left a lonely flower.
And if your songs be classics,
Throw them to the hurd.
Truth is where they came from
And not this theatre of the absurd.
Some say you wanted to play for me
But its only what youve heard
That made you want to capture me
In your theatre of the absurd.
It was not me, I said myself
And you must do so, too.
I hope you have the strength to stay
When Ill be watchin you.
So baby,
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Teach your children to be them
And never ever ours.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Someone took the park away
But they left a lonely flower.
Oh when I got here back home tonight
Something within me stirred.
Oh it must have been a different kind of play
That touched my theatre of the absurd.
Now Ill be on my way alone
But an interesting thing occurred
See nobody ever shared too much
In my theatre of the absurd.
And there I was back in london,
Thought about history.
It was just like being in school again
But I felt something movin in me.

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Epitaphs For Two Players

I. EDWIN BOOTH

An old actor at the Player's Club told me that Edwin Booth first impersonated Hamlet when a barnstormer in California. There were few theatres, but the hotels were provided with crude assembly rooms for strolling players.


The youth played in the blear hotel.
The rafters gleamed with glories strange.
And winds of mourning Elsinore
Howling at chance and fate and change;
Voices of old Europe's dead
Disturbed the new-built cattle-shed,
The street, the high and solemn range.

The while the coyote barked afar
All shadowy was the battlement.
The ranch-boys huddled and grew pale,
Youths who had come on riot bent.
Forgot were pranks well-planned to sting.
Behold there rose a ghostly king,
And veils of smoking Hell were rent.

When Edwin Booth played Hamlet, then
The camp-drab's tears could not but flow.
Then Romance lived and breathed and burned.
She felt the frail queen-mother's woe,
Thrilled for Ophelia, fond and blind,
And Hamlet, cruel, yet so kind,
And moaned, his proud words hurt her so.

A haunted place, though new and harsh!
The Indian and the Chinaman
And Mexican were fain to learn
What had subdued the Saxon clan.
Why did they mumble, brood, and stare
When the court-players curtsied fair
And the Gonzago scene began?

And ah, the duel scene at last!
They cheered their prince with stamping feet.
A death-fight in a palace! Yea,
With velvet hangings incomplete,
A pasteboard throne, a pasteboard crown,
And yet a monarch tumbled down,
A brave lad fought in splendor meet.

Was it a palace or a barn?
Immortal as the gods he flamed.
There in his last great hour of rage
His foil avenged a mother shamed.
In duty stern, in purpose deep

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Play

I could wait all night and day,
To go to a party sit down and wait,
Give my request to the DJ,
Cuz my song hes gotta play.
And when i hear that beat,
I get my body up out my seat
I grab a guy and move my feet,
He's playin my song!
Play,
Come on play that song,
Play it all night long,
Just turn it up and turn it on!
Play,
Come on Dj play that song.
You know it turns me on.
(DJ just play that song)
Just turn it up and turn it on!
Dj just play that song,
Cuz i wanna be dancin all night long
Just play my, play my, play my,
Play my, play my favorite song!
I dont care if everybody's gone.
Turn it up cuz it turns me on.
Keep dancin all night long,
Feels so right that it cant be wrong.
I get chills up and down my spine,
Whenever I hear that song of mine.
When it stops better press rewind.
Let me hear it one more time!
Play,
Come on play that song,
Play it all night long,
Cuz I wanna be dancin' all night long!
Play,
Come on Dj play that song.
You know it turns me on.
(DJ just play that song)
Cuz I wanna be dancin' all night long!
I just wanna dance.
Is that a crime?
Alright then.
Play..Play..Play..Play..Play
Now Mr. DJ,
I've asked you three times..
Play My Mother f*ckin song!!
Play,
Come on play that song,
Play it all night long,
Just turn it up and turn it on!
Play,

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Twin State

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LPGA (Is Racism On The Ladies Pro Tour?)

Will someone please say it’s a rumor and not true,
That professional woman’s golf is not going to,
Require that players who play in any LPGA events,
Have to speak English or back home they are sent.

Wow! Why not take the lead of the PGA men’s side?
When Tiger Woods emerged did others run and hide?
No! They practiced, worked out and hired coaches,
As brighter lights shined some women hid like roaches.

2009 from September 7, is just over 100 days away,
It takes years to learn English unless sports you play,
Basketball, football, baseball are a few that come to mind,
The Ladies Profession Golf Association is ahead, not behind.

Many ex-players are making the adjustment to play by play,
Far from the days when, “you know” was all they could say,
But, this progress has taken decades and now you expect,
Better golfers to learn proficient English just to get a check?

What’s happened to competition, head to head with the best?
Do we have to wait for another Olympics to put skill to the test?
I though only in politics via the cold war did this stuff exist,
Now the “sport” of women’s golf is going be added to the list.

Sports is an activity governed by a set of competitive rules,
Not to be goverend by where you did or did not go to school,
Going from one country to another you don’t need a visa to play,
Just a passport, there is no test as to what you can or cannot say.

True, not every country like our United States has free speech,
However, you need not be fluent in the local just to compete,
Playing against the world’s best is what makes golf so sweet,
Not sending them home because you’re tired of getting beat.

I know this is not all the players only a handful of spoiled quitters,
Sometimes is seems as though a few caddies are also baby sitters,
The one and only way to be the best is to beat the ones that are,
Who wants to watch a match with winners barely breaking par?

This a demeaning, stupid, selfish, insensitive, bitter, jealous rule,
You become a better golfer by going to UCLA instead of Q school?
I certainly hope this insensitiveness doesn’t too last long or go very far,
Will parking a Taurus next to a S600 Benz make the Ford a better car?

Didn’t the word golf mean, “Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden? ”
Now it’s the ladies who are trying to keep the best players hidden?
OK, hide your mama, jewelry, money, Picasso, Rembrandt or Monet,
But don’t hide the best foreign players by not allowing them to play.

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For A Round Of Golf

For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.

As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.

A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.

Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.

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The Chateau Disaster Tapes

A) scenario
In long years of ancient time, stood alone a friend of mine.
Reflected by the ever-burning sigh of a God who happened by.
And in the dawn, there came the song of some sweet lady singing in his ear.
Your God has gone, and from now on, youll have to learn to hate
The things you fear.
We want to know, are we inside the womb
Of passion plays, and by righteousness consumed?
Or just in lush contentment of our souls?
And so began the age of man.
They left his body in the sand.
Their glasses raised to a God on high
Who smiled upon them from the sky.
So take the stage. spin down the ages. loose the passion.
Spill the rage upon your son who holds the gun up to your head ---
The plays begun.
B) audition
Then god, the director, smells a rat.
Pulls another rabbit from his hat.
Sniffs the air and he says, ''well, thats that --- Im going.
The actors milling helplessly --- the script is blowing out to sea.
But what the hell, we didnt even pass an audition.
The lines youll have to improvise. the words are written in
The eyes of politicians who despise their fathers.
And so the play necessitates that all you boys participate
In fierce competition to eliminate each other.
And groupies, on their way to war,
Get to write the next film score.
But the rock and roll star knows his glory is really nothing.
Men of religion, on the make,
Pledge an oath they undertake to
Make you white for gods own sake, and none other.
While ladies get their bedding done
To win themselves a bouncing son ---
But bad girls do it for the fun of just being.
And me, Im here to sing along,
And Im not concerned with the righting wrongs,
Just asking questions that belong without an answer.
The God is laughing up his sleeve
As he pours himself another cup of tea,
And he waves goodbye to you and me,
At least for now.
C) no rehearsal
Did you learn your lines today? well, there is no rehearsal.
The tickets have all been sold for tomorrows matinee.
Theres a telegram from the writer,
But there is no rehearsal.
The electrician has been told to make the spotlights brighter.
Theres one seat in the circle --- five hundred million in the stalls.
Simply everyone will be there, but the safety curtain falls when

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song performed by Jethro TullReport problemRelated quotes
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Real Life

Certain, genuine, almost positive
Right definite, sincere
Broke vitality, truth humanity
That's not what's happening here
oooh, oooh, this is real life
oooh, oooh, this is real life
I'm sitting here waiting, wondering where you been
Don't you know you're late again?
Sitting here thinking, figuring you would call
The phone don't ring at all
I'm not a girl whose living in a fantasy world
So tell me are we fictional, fact
Cause right now I gotta know (gotta know)
I wanna know where we're at
Get a grip baby we're no rehearsal
It's not a game, we are not playing virtual
When are you going to wake up and realize
This is real life, this is real life
?Have honey? would never be true love
I can almost never be in love
I tell you straight up, not telling you twice (you twice)
This is real life, uh, this is real life (real life)
You're blowing hot and cold
And I don't know where you're coming from
What planet are you living on?
And I'm not the girl of a type who will forgive and forget
(Have I, Have I got you attention yet?)
I'm not a girl whose living in a big dream world
This time there's no compromise
So if you want me for good, you better open your eyes
Certain, genuine, almost positive
Right definite, sincere
Broke vitality, truth humanity
That's not what's happening here
oooh, oooh, this is real life
oooh, oooh, this is real life
Get a grip baby we're no rehearsal
It's not a game, we are not playing virtual
When are you going to wake up and realize
This is real life, this is real life
?Have honey? would never be true love
I can almost never be in love
I tell you straight up, not telling you twice (you twice)
This is real life, uh, this is real life (real life)
Get a grip baby we're no rehearsal
It's not a game, we are not playing virtual
When are you going to wake up and realize
This is real life, this is real life
?Have honey? would never be true love
I can almost never be in love

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song performed by Vitamin CReport problemRelated quotes
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Play That Funky Music

(vanilla ice, earthquake)
Play that funky music
Play that funky music, white boy
Play that funky music
Play that funky music, white boy
Im back and Im ringin the bell
A rockin on the mike while the fly girls yell
In ecstasy in the back of me
Well thats my dj deshay cuttin all them zs
Hittin hard and the girlies goin crazy
Vanillas on the mike, man Im not lazy.
Im lettin my drug kick in
It controls my mouth and I begin
To just let it flow, let my concepts go
My posses to the side yellin, go vanilla go!
Smooth cause thats the way I will be
And if you dont give a damn, then
Why you starin at me
So get off cause I control the stage
Theres no dissin allowed
Im in my own phase
The girlies sa y they love me and that is ok
And I can dance better than any kid n play
Play that funky music come on come on
Play that funky music, white boy I cant hear you, say it,
Play that funky music say it, say it, say
Play that funky music, white boy it, come on
Yea, a little bit louder
Now come on, come on
Stage 2 -- yea the one ya wanna listen to
Its off my head so let the beat play through
So I can funk it up and make it sound good
1-2-3 yo -- knock on some wood
For good luck, I like my rhymes atrocious
Supercalafragilisticexpialidocious
Im an effect and that you can bet
I can take a fly girl and make her wet.
Im like samson -- samson to delilah
Theres no denyin, you can try to hang
But youll keep tryin to get my style
Over and over, practice makes perfect
But not if youre a loafer.
Youll get nowhere, no place, no time, no girls
Soon -- oh my god, homebody, you probably eat
Spaghetti with a spoon! come on and say it!
Play that funky music
Play that funky music, white boy
Play that funky music come on come on
Play that funky music white boy lets do it
Vip. vanilla ice yep, yep, Im comin hard like a rhino

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song performed by Vanilla IceReport problemRelated quotes
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