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Calculation has its advantages, but no one likes naked calculation.

quote by Rich Lowry
Added by Lucian Velea
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The 'Body Size Advantages' Quartette.....[LONG; Human Body Size and Behavior; Humor? ]

The Advantages of Being Fat

Some may laugh when they read this title,
since for many American females (and males) slimness is an idol.
I admit a fat figure doesn't make me smile;
I'm attracted more easily, physically, to the anorexic style.
I know not all will think the same,
and some may think my thinking's lame,
but I believe it's true for both fat men and women
that in their lives less breaks they're given.

I don't mean grossly obese like a hippo,
but with REALLY BIG love handles, not just a ripple.
I myself could stand to lose some pounds.
It's not as easy as to some it sounds.

But I've taken up the task so now I must
speak of 'Advantages' of being fat. It's that or bust.:
Being fat can help anchor you in a storm,
and extra layers of fat in winter helps to keep you warm.
On a bus you can hold more stuff on your lap,
and few would dare to give your face a slap.
You can forge your way right through a crowd
and command attention without being loud.
You can push open doors that are heavy or stuck
and rock out of a muddy rut your pickup truck.
You can set a bowl of ice cream on your belly while in bed,
then, later, after ice cream, offer your navel-cushion to your lover's head.

Well I guess those are the 'Advantages' I can think of now.
A little applause would be nice when I take my bow.

The Advantages of Being Slender

When I think of someone, male or female, who is slender,
I picture someone who drinks each meal from a blender.
For breakfast there's wheat germ mixed with yogurt and with cherry juice.
For lunch almonds and prunes all chopped well, but not very loose.
Supper boasts broccoli, yams, and small portions of a goose.
(Snacks are juices of celery and carrots, and kiwi and peach.)

In America we often hear the 'benefits of being slender',
yet McDonalds feeds more people than are fed from a blender.
It's no wonder. To hear how many are poor in U.S. is quite a shock,
while McDonalds, with its dollar menu, is found on many a block.
But I must start listing 'Advantages of Being Slender', as I watch my clock.
(I'll try to be honest and from the truth not far reach.)

I'm not referring to people who are nearly just bones and skin,
but those without love handles. Call them not skinny, but thin.

[...] Read more

poem by Bri Edwards
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Thats The Kind Of Sugar Papa Likes

I didnt want you, did not need you
Sure wouldnt mean to kick you down
You know I love you, I really love you
Sure do wish youd come around
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when you do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
And I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
You shoulda told me, Im not the only
Man to love you twice
But since I know now, I think Ill go now
And find someone wholl love me right
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when we do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
And I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when you do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
Well, I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when you do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
Well, I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, with you
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, it drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, yes you, baby
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, and youre pretty, baby
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy

song performed by Kiss
Added by Lucian Velea
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Oh Guilt

She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
She likes the sea
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sound
She likes the sand
She likes to stand, she cant afford to sit
She likes to be
Shes into guilt
Guilt
She likes to think
She likes to drink
She seems too weak, she takes all the rent
She likes the time
She owns the time
She borrows time to self-invent
She seems too weak
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sand
She likes to stand
She likes to sit
She likes to go
Go
She likes to be
She likes to go
Go

song performed by Nirvana
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Oh, The Guilt

She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
She likes the sea
She likes to see
She likes to think she has to alter it
She likes the sound
She likes the sand
She likes to stand, she can't afford to sit
She likes to be
She likes to be
She likes to be
She's into guilt
Go
She likes to think
She likes to drink
She seems too weak, she takes all the rent
She likes the time
She owns the time
She borrows time and has to self-invent
She seems too weak
She likes to see
She likes to think she has to alter it
She likes the sand
She likes to stand
She likes to sit
She likes to go
Go

song performed by Nirvana
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Oh The Guilt (Outtake '93)

She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
She likes the sea
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sound
She likes the sand
She likes to stand, she cant afford to sit
She likes to be
Shes into guilt
Guilt
She likes to think
She likes to drink
She seems too weak, she takes all the rent
She likes the time
She owns the time
She borrows time to self-invent
She seems too weak
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sand
She likes to stand
She likes to sit
She likes to go
Go
She likes to be
She likes to go
Go

song performed by Nirvana
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Growing Up

Folded in your fleshy purse
I am floating once again
While the muted sounds are pumping rhythm
All the walls close in on me
Pressures building wave on wave
til the water breaks and outside I go, oh
One dot, thats on or off, defines what is and what is not, one dot
Two dot, a pair of eyes, a voice, a touch, complete surprise, two dot
Growing up, growing up,
Looking for a place to live
Growing up, growing up
Looking for a place to live
Growing up, growing up,
Looking for a place to live
My ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
My ghost likes to travel so deep into your space
Three dot, a trinity, a way to map the universe,
Three dot
Four dot, is what will make a square, a bed to build on, its all there,
Four dot
My ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
My ghost likes to travel so deep into your space
All the slow clouds pass us by
Make the empire state look high
As you take me in your sea-stained sweetness
It spills, it tingles and it stings
All the pleasure that it brings
til the door has let the outside inside here
Well on the floor theres a long wooden table
On the table theres an open book
On the page theres a detailed drawing
And on the drawing is the name I took
My ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
My ghost likes to travel so deep into your space
Growing up, growing up,
Looking for a place to live
Growing up, growing up
Looking for a place to live
Growing up, growing up,
Looking for a place to live
Growing up, growing up,
Looking for a place to live
My ghost likes to travel
My ghost likes to travel
Moving inside of your space
My ghost likes to travel
My ghost likes to travel
Moving inside of your space
My ghost likes to travel
Moving inside

[...] Read more

song performed by Peter Gabriel
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Naked City

All the victims have turned to stone, no one is happy, theyre all alone
Id sacrifice my social position tonight
In new york, millionaires, and lonely people with lonely stares
Im not lookin for love and Im lost in this night
In the naked city (in the city) there are ten million stories (naked city)
Im not lookin for pity (in the city) in this naked city (naked city)
Street vampires in the night, young lovers and love at first sight
This is my flesh and my fantasy
Older women with younger men, Ive got a feelin Im in trouble again
But Ive got to live my destiny
In the naked city (in the city) its a race with the devil (naked city)
All the pain and the sorrow (in the city) is there more tomorrow (naked city)
In the naked, naked city (in the city) naked city
Lonely people lookin for someone, lonely people goin their way
Lonely people lookin for something, lonely people goin their way
In new york, millionaires, lonely people with lonely stares
Im not lookin for love and Im lost in this night
In the naked city, there are ten million stories
Im not lookin for pity in this naked city
In the naked, naked city (in the city), its a race with the devil (naked city)
All the pain and the sorrow (in the city) is there more tomorrow (naked city)
(in the city, naked city) (repeats out)

song performed by Kiss
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MY BABY LIKES TO.......by Talile Ali

MY BABY LIKES TO GET BANGED
MY BABY LIKES IT A LOT
DO IT ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST AS MANY STIFF DONGS
MY BABY LIKES TO GANG BANG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG

5,19,15,29
BIG, STRONG, HANDSOME, UGLY
MY BABY WANTS TO FEEL THE MONKEY'S COME
BACK TO BACK,2,3 & 4
MY BABY CAN DO SO MANY MORE
MY BABY LIKES HER SOME
MY BABY LIKES HER FUN

MY BABY LIKES TO GET BANGED
MY BABY LIKES IT A LOT
DO IT ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST AS MANY STIFF DONGS
MY BABY LIKES TO GANG BANG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG

SHE CAN DO IT IN THE MORNIN
SHE CAN DO IT NOON AND NOGHT
SHE CAN DO'EM EATING HER LUNCH
EVEN WHEN SHE DON'T FEEL RIGHT
MY BABY LIKES TO GAND BANG
EVERY SINGLE KIND OF WAY
IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK
WE'LL SHE'D BE DOING ALL, OK?

MY BABY LIKES TO GET BANGED
MY BABY LIKES IT A LOT
DO IT ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST AS MANY STIFF DONGS
MY BABY LIKES TO GANG BANG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG

poem by Talile Ali
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He Likes Me

He likes me
He likes me
Ooh... isnt that nice
He likes me
He likes me
Ooh... isnt that nice
That your brand new friend
He likes your old true friend
And isnt that the way
That it ought to be
That your brand new friend
He has good will to send
And youre so free
Youre so free
Youre so free
And I am history
He likes you
He says that he loves you
Ooh thats good to know
You like him
I hope you dont love him
And ooh you should know
That your old true friend
He doesnt like your brand new friend
Person to person its not on purpose
But I take it personally
And soon your brand new friend
I hope Ill have a bon voyage to send
And youre so free
Youre so free
Youre so free
And I am history
You say you wont pick
And you wont make a choice
But Im so mad I could spit
And I hear it in your voice
You said he likes me
He likes me
Ooh isnt that swell
He likes me
You said he likes me
Ohhh tell him hell...
O from me
A great big hello from me
Jesus always taught me
That I should love my enemy
Darling my hearts in pain
Thats why my songs insane
And youre so free
And I am history

[...] Read more

song performed by Violent Femmes
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Buck Nekkid

Two shots shy of a 40 ounce quart
A hand in the pocket and a hand in the shorts
Shoot me with two and don't be slow
Only got one good way to go
Get naked
Buck naked
Buck naked
It's the only way to go
Twenty six chicks, all tied in a knot
Ain't all good, but it's what we got
Get naked
Buck naked
Let me see you naked
It's the only way to go
Buck buck
I was feelin' so fine
And things were lookin' better
My baby said maybe
And I said I'd let her
Get naked
Buck naked
Let's get naked
It's the only way to go
Get naked
Everybody get naked
Buck naked
It's the onliest way to go
Get naked
Get buck naked, yeah

song performed by ZZ Top
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He Likes To Roll

(carly simon)
Why do I try to win the love
That Ive already wooed and won
(chorus)
cause he likes to roll he likes to roll
He likes to roll he likes to roll
He takes the flower from his button hole
When he likes to roll, he likes to roll
I tend to lose my self control
When he likes to roll, he likes to roll
Here in this little sunny bay
Once a day he comes and goes
(chorus)
He likes to roll...
The moon is down but the odds are high
That seeming me, he wont pass me by
(chorus)
He likes to roll...

song performed by Carly Simon
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Feed The Monkey

She likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes the monkey
Well gather 'round and let me tell you all a story
About a boy and his monkey
He's got that kind of monkey that the girls wanna know
He likes to take his monkey every place that he goes
(Can we pet your monkey?)
Hey, ho, you see the monkey?
Did you know you made my monkey hungry?
I didn't really know how it get so hungry
I'd like to know
Would you feed the monkey?
Well you can pet my monkey
'Cause my monkey don't bite
But when you pet my monkey
He get funky all night
My monkey ain't no ordinary orangutang
'Cause my monkey likes to do the wild thing
My monkey don't scratch
My monkey don't bite
My monkey don't swing no tree
My monkey don't hit
My monkey don't drool
My monkey be swing with me
My monkey don't freak
My monkey don't trip
My monkey don't wear no cape
But you can tell what my monkey wanna eat
'Cause it turn into a big ol' ape
Yeah...
Hey..
The monkey's getting hungry
Hey, hey, why don't you feed your monkey?
(REPEAT x 3)
What she want?
She wants the monkey
(REPEAT x 3)
You know she want
You know she want
You know she wants the monkey
(REPEAT x 3)
Hey, hey, she likes to feed the monkey
Ooh, she's sayin' it's time to feed the monkey
Everyday she wants to feed the monkey
All through the day she likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
(REPEAT x 7)
Feed the monkey

[...] Read more

song performed by Infectious Grooves
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She Likes It Too

(jack turner/tim nichols)
I got my first motorcycle when I turned sixteen
I remember my mama raisin cane with me
She said, son tell me why you want to ride that thing
She didnt know about the blonde at the dairy queen
I got my own reasons why I do what I do
I like to ride motorcycles
She likes it too
I like to ride motorcycles
She likes it too
I always wore my hair just a little too long
Daddy didn;t like it and he made no bones
If Id have gotten it cut like he wanted me to
She wouldnt have had nothin left to run her fingers through
I got my reasons why I do what I do
I like to wear my hair long
She likes it too
I like to wear my hair long
She likes it too
I remember ridin around with my buddies back home
Listenin to some country on the radio
When they tried to change the startion to some rock n roll
Id turn the opry up just as loud as it would go
I got my reasons why I do what I do
I like country music
She likes it too
I like country music
She likes it too
I got my own reasons
Why I do what I do
I know what I like
She likes it too
I know what I like
She likes it too
Yeah I know what I like
And she likes it too

song performed by Alan Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Lisa Likes Rock N Roll

(ian hunter)
Theres a wango-tango
At the peppermint inn
Im gonna be there
Shakin my thing
Be bop a lula
Little peggy sue
We both got company
Dont know what to do
But thats alright
Yeah thats ok
In the middle of the night
Heres lisa
Chorus:
Lisa likes rock n roll,
She plays it every day.
Down by the drugstore
Everybody ? ?
She turnin on the radio,
Shes shootin up the stereo,
Puttin on a video,
Shes sayin lets go lets go
Lisa wont marry me,
She says shes only four.
Her mum dont like me,
She says Im too mature.
Down at the disco,
I go solo
And the girls dont wanna know,
Ive been too slow.
And thats alright,
And thats ok,
In the middle of the night.
Heres lisa.
Chorus
And when you see her
You wish you could ? ? her.
Aint no one can beat her.
She goes yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, youre my daddy.
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
I know lisa likes rock n roll
Yeah!

song performed by Ian Hunter
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Tricky, Tricky

She likes bars she likes diamonds too
She likes stars if they rendevouz
She drinks champagne to maintain her style
She likes a man only for a while
She likes access to your bank account
She likes dollars, pesos and british pounds
She likes money only in high amounts
Baby is cool she knows what counts
She likes to pay with credit cards
Ride expensive cars stays in the president suite
And every day she is looking for a man who gives her more
To satisfy her needs
She is a soulshaker, troublemaker
She is a heartbreaker
Undertaker, moneymaker
She is a lovefaker
Soulshaker, troublemaker
She is a heartbreaker
Undertaker, moneymaker
She is a lovefaker
Tricky, tricky but she is pretty, pretty
I like holidays when there is nothing to do
I like fun for free and an ice cold brew
I like to watch football on tv
I like to sleep and wake up around three
I like to hang out with my boys - making lots of noise -
Dancing in a club - there is no choice
She will never understand that i cant be her man -
I am what i am - so damn
She likes to pay with credit cards
Ride expensive cars stays in the president suite
And every day she is looking for a man who gives her more
To satisfy her needs
She is a soulshaker, troublemaker
She is a heartbreaker
Undertaker, moneymaker
She is a lovefaker
Soulshaker, troublemaker
She is a heartbreaker
Undertaker, moneymaker
She is a lovefaker
Tricky, tricky but she is pretty, pretty

song performed by Lou Bega
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Boy

Stand up straight
Boy
Tuck your shirt
Wipe your face
Nobody likes a crybaby
Boy
Baby boy
Dry your eyes
Welcome to the world
Boy
Stand up straight
Baby boy
Dry your eyes
(Don't hit your sister)
Don't hit your sister
Shut your mouth
Wipe your hands
Don't you cry
Tuck your shirt
Turn off the TV
Don't hit your sister
Get a job
Turn it down
Find a girl
Rule the world
(Do you call that music)
Don't sing high
Boy
Use your sense
(Cut your hair)
Get what you want
Shoot your gun
Cut your hair
(Cut your hair)
Drop your phone
Dance with your hands down
Use your name
Rule the world
(Keep it inside)
It's your right now
Don't hit your sister
(Nobody likes a crybaby)
We like girls who are thinner, baby
(Don't hit your sister)
Nobody likes a crybaby boy
Baby boy
Stake your coin
(Shut your mouth)
Drive your car
(What's is your problem)

[...] Read more

song performed by Darren Hayes
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I Sing The Body Electric

I SING the Body electric;
The armies of those I love engirth me, and I engirth them;
They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the
Soul.

Was it doubted that those who corrupt their own bodies conceal
themselves;
And if those who defile the living are as bad as they who defile the
dead?
And if the body does not do as much as the Soul?
And if the body were not the Soul, what is the Soul?

The love of the Body of man or woman balks account--the body itself
balks account;
That of the male is perfect, and that of the female is perfect. 10

The expression of the face balks account;
But the expression of a well-made man appears not only in his face;
It is in his limbs and joints also, it is curiously in the joints of
his hips and wrists;
It is in his walk, the carriage of his neck, the flex of his waist
and knees--dress does not hide him;
The strong, sweet, supple quality he has, strikes through the cotton
and flannel;
To see him pass conveys as much as the best poem, perhaps more;
You linger to see his back, and the back of his neck and shoulder-
side.

The sprawl and fulness of babes, the bosoms and heads of women, the
folds of their dress, their style as we pass in the street, the
contour of their shape downwards,
The swimmer naked in the swimming-bath, seen as he swims through the
transparent green-shine, or lies with his face up, and rolls
silently to and fro in the heave of the water,
The bending forward and backward of rowers in row-boats--the horseman
in his saddle, 20
Girls, mothers, house-keepers, in all their performances,
The group of laborers seated at noon-time with their open dinner-
kettles, and their wives waiting,
The female soothing a child--the farmer's daughter in the garden or
cow-yard,
The young fellow hoeing corn--the sleigh-driver guiding his six
horses through the crowd,
The wrestle of wrestlers, two apprentice-boys, quite grown, lusty,
good-natured, native-born, out on the vacant lot at sundown,
after work,
The coats and caps thrown down, the embrace of love and resistance,
The upper-hold and the under-hold, the hair rumpled over and blinding

[...] Read more

poem by Walt Whitman
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Tricks

Ive seen the action
All kinds of people
Seen things disgusting
Ive seen it all
Ive heard excuses
All kinds of stories
Ive heard confessions
Ive heard it all
They wrote bad poems
Painted bad pictures
They say we used them
Im not sure
Some call it love and
Some call it affection
I dont believe it
Its all clean young flesh
And we all fall down
We all fall down
You say you want it
Dress to kill and kill me
We could play new games
And you could lose
Dont tell your mother
Or some jealous husband
Dont talk of love just
Send me a postcard
We need to feel it
We need to feel it
Ive lost all patience
Youll lose all pride
Ive no conversation
Ive no good intentions
Ive room for one more
Ive room for you
They say were corrupted
They say were disturbing
I dont know
It must be true
They say were reckless
They say were vicious
Its just a rumour
We dont leave scars
She likes the movement
She likes the motion
She likes to whisper
But then she likes to scream
She likes the dancing
She likes the make up
She likes to forget
bout everything

song performed by Gary Numan
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I am the one of those.....

I am one of those who likes to live,
to be a friend and to forgive.
I am one of those who hates a lie,
if it were for me a war I would deny.
I am one of those who likes to dream,
if to play games then in a family team.
I am one of those who likes to sing
and listen to the bells ring.
I am one of those who likes to laugh,
the time with my dear ones is not enough.
I am one of those who likes fairy tales
and I know that even a hero sometimes fails.
I am thankful to my God and ask our Lord
to prolong my days
so that to look for the new ways.
I am one of those who tries to find the door
leading to more happiness,
I always try to avoid loneliness.
I am one of those who likes to give,
I am one of those who likes to live.

Larisa R (Odessa, Ukraine)

poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
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Naked Eye

You can come inside
Come into the naked eye
My only world falls in again
I see your face fall in again
Its so dark
I dont know your name
Its so dark
And I dont know your name
Only mirrors lie only mirrors lie now
Only mirrors lie only mirrors lie now
Through the needles eye
Through the needles eye now
Only mirrors lie
Lie lie
You can come inside
Come into the naked eye
Naked
Naked
I feel so high
Going up on the wall
And youre down below me
Look all around look all around now
Look all around look all around now
Only mirrors lie only mirrors lie now
Only mirrors lie only mirrors lie now
Through the needles eye
Through the needles eye now
Only mirrors lie
Lie lie
You can come inside
Come into the naked eye
Naked
Naked
Just wanted a special view
Just me and you
Just just just the two of us
Just two of us
Going up on the wall
Up on the wall
Going up on the wall
Up on the wall
Naked eye naked eye
What do you see
And whats there to learn
Reading your books
Third diagram
Someones in the room down below
Someone someone
Someone below
Insects

[...] Read more

song performed by Simple Minds
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