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We need to shift the paradigm from reactive technologies to more integrative solutions that deal with the variety and complexity of the threats that are out there today.

quote by John W. Thompson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Working The Midnight Shift

Im just a working girl, just earning a living
When the citys waking up, Im going home
Working the midnight shift
While my friends are all out
Theyve all gone out dancing
Theyre out having fun
Working that midnight shift
For that extra little something
The things that are out of my reach
I need so bad
So bad, so bad
Seems like Im always leaving
When all the others arrive
My body still carries on
But Im dying inside
Working the midnight shift
While my friends are all out
Theyve all gone out dancing
Theyre out having fun
Working that midnight shift
For that extra little something
The things that are out of my reach
I need so bad
I need so bad, need so bad
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Im just a working girl
Just earning a living
When the citys waking up
Im going home
Working the midnight shift
While my friends are all out
Theyve all gone out dancing
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift
Midnight shift, midnight shift

song performed by Donna Summer
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Shift

Check out the chick with the new dress on
(wearin a shift and it looks real fine)
The call it a shift and it comes on strong
(wearin a shift and it looks real fine)
When shes got it on, well she cant do no wrong
(wearin a shift, wearin a shift)
You may think a dress cant do very much
(wearin a shift really turns me on)
With the slit up the side, you cant resist that touch
(wearin a shift really turns me on)
Its tighter than a moo-moo and its just too much
(wearin a shift, wearin a shift)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(cant go wrong now) (go wrong now)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(turns me on now) (turns me on now)
Get your girl a shift and shell look real fine
(wearin a shift and its just too much)
It fits like a glove and drives you outta your mind
(wearin a shift and its just too much)
Shell ball it with her shift on and well have a good time
(wearin a shift, wearin a shift)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)
(turns me on now) (get a shift now)

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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Now I Need You

You parting words still echo clear on the day you left me
If you need me Ill be there, you said youd always help me
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
L cant seem to satisfy anyone around me
You hold my hand and see me through
All the things that bound me
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Im calling you now (oh now I need you)
Calling you now (oh how I need you)
Please come to me now
I need you
I need you (oh how l need you)
I need you (oh how I need you)
I need you (oh how I need you)
I need you (oh how I need you)
Oh how I need you, oh how I need you
Having learned to live with you
Its hard to live without you
You always said if I were down,
To cheer me you would be around
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Now l need you, l need you, l need you, l need you
L need you, l need you right now
Im calling you now
(oh how I need you)
Calling you now
(oh how I need you)
Please come to me now
(oh how I need you)
Please come to me now
(oh how I need you) I need you now
(oh how I need you)

song performed by Donna Summer
Added by Lucian Velea
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Anchorless and Engulfed

Two who each other barely knew -
though both drew down delinquency
some streets apart, are past, and few
shall etch sketch wretched memory.
Two travelled on lines parallel
while wheeled real reel of history,
banned reel ran out span's tocsin bell
tolled once to tell eternity

‘Bonjour, ma mie, je t'aime, adieu! '
The mocking bird of Destiny
nests but a moment. All falls through
before each earth-bound entity
grasp pain's pain glass a second, spell
life's sensitivity to see
things in perspective ere Death's knell
engulfs hopes in Styx misery.

Confined upon Earth's ark our zoo
builds up its bars too readily.
Why all the fuss and bother to
paint rosy hues enticingly
when threescore ten years pass pell-mell,
too few attain vain century,
and those that do weak souls would sell
for one more week's dichotomy.

Upon Life's cruise a motley crew
free choice demands, yet few feel free,
awash with superstitious spew,
how few refuse to bend the knee?
The ‘finger writes' and then farewell!
A door to which there is no key
was ever veiled when curtains fell,
'and then no more of thee and me.'

'Time out! ' Reflection's hard to chew
in context where modernity
accelerates change [st]range most rue,
soon redefines autonomy,
confines empowerment to brew
disinformation debility,
losing second thoughts' review
of truth till last breath's verity
renders verdict curlicue
on humankind's inanity.

Climate out of kilter new
climactic catastrophe
prepares, ice-melt sends shockwaves through

[...] Read more

poem by Jonathan Robin
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A Bushman's Song

I’M travellin’ down the Castlereagh, and I’m a station hand,
I’m handy with the ropin’ pole, I’m handy with the brand,
And I can ride a rowdy colt, or swing the axe all day,
But there’s no demand for a station-hand along the Castlereagh. +

So it’s shift, boys, shift, for there isn’t the slightest doubt
That we’ve got to make a shift to the stations further out,
With the pack-horse runnin’ after, for he follows like a dog,
We must strike across the country at the old jig-jog.

This old black horse I’m riding—if you’ll notice what’s his brand,
He wears the crooked R, you see—none better in the land.
He takes a lot of beatin’, and the other day we tried,
For a bit of a joke, with a racing bloke, for twenty pounds a side.

It was shift, boys, shift, for there wasn’t the slightest doubt
That I had to make him shift, for the money was nearly out;
But he cantered home a winner, with the other one at the flog—
He’s a red-hot sort to pick up with his old jig-jog.

I asked a cove for shearin’ once along the Marthaguy:
“We shear non-union here,” says he. “I call it scab,” says I.
I looked along the shearin’ floor before I turned to go—
There were eight or ten dashed Chinamen a-shearin’ in a row.

It was shift, boys, shift, for there wasn’t the slightest doubt
It was time to make a shift with the leprosy about.
So I saddled up my horses, and I whistled to my dog,
And I left his scabby station at the old jig-jog.

I went to Illawarra, where my brother’s got a farm,
He has to ask his landlord’s leave before he lifts his arm;
The landlord owns the country side—man, woman, dog, and cat,
They haven’t the cheek to dare to speak without they touch their hat.

It was shift, boys, shift, for there wasn’t the slightest doubt
Their little landlord god and I would soon have fallen out;
Was I to touch my hat to him?—was I his bloomin’ dog?
So I makes for up the country at the old jig-jog.

But it’s time that I was movin’, I’ve a mighty way to go
Till I drink artesian water from a thousand feet below;
Till I meet the overlanders with the cattle comin’ down,
And I’ll work a while till I make a pile, then have a spree in town.

So, it’s shift, boys, shift, for there isn’t the slightest doubt
We’ve got to make a shift to the stations further out;
The pack-horse runs behind us, for he follows like a dog,
And we cross a lot of country at the old jig-jog.

poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Added by Poetry Lover
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Need Ya

I used to be a very carefree man,
A loving man of the world.
Yeah, I would still be except for the time
When I met ya, little girl.
Say, I've tried and I've tried but I just can't.
You sure got a hold on me.
Ah, your good, good lovin' is makin' me faint,
Mama, please don't set me free.
Because I need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya)
Oh, need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya)
You got that kinda air that drives me insane
And sometime ya sure got me new.
Ah, sometimes I feel like knockin' you down,
But I would never pull that scene.
Though I get tired, I know that you know
That I'd never do you wrong.
'Cause when it's late and I feel down, turn the lights on low
And I will hold things in my soul.
'Cause I need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya)
I'm gonna need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya)
Yeah ... ooh yeah.
Ah, need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya)
You know I need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya)
Yeah, oh, oh, need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
(Need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya)
Oh yeah, need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya, yeah.
Oh, ... (Need ya, need ya, need ya, need ya )
Oh, ... (Need ya, need ya, need ya , need ya)

song performed by Bob Seger
Added by Lucian Velea
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Only Solutions

Note: the lyrics listed here for only solutions
Were transcribed and discussed by several
Members of the journey mailing list.
We hope they are correct, although they
Still could contain errors.
In the jungle I run tonight
Find no peace to logical life
No confusion, just wrong or right, oh yeah.
Faces, numbers I recognize
You dont fool me with cynical lies
No problems, no compromise, oh yeah
Only solutions
Dont pull me down, I just wanna hear
Only solutions
Oh, it wont be long, it wont take too long
Modern times drive me insane
Explanations I cant explain
Leaves me standing in the rain, oh yeah
Solving mysteries with nothing to lose
Magic leaves you without any clues
Theres only so much one man can do, oh yeah
Only solutions
Dont pull me down, I just wanna hear
Only solutions
Oh it wont be long, it wont take too long
Only solutions
Dont pull me down, I just wanna hear
Now that the sun is shining
Clear vision, clear vision
In the jungle I run tonight
Find no peace to logical life
No confusion, just wrong or right, oh yeah
Faces, numbers I recognize
You dont fool me with cynical lies
No problems, no compromise, oh yeah
Only solutions
Its my point of view
Only solutions
Oh, clear vision
Only solutions
No second thoughts
Only solutions
No, no, no contradictions
People reason
People reason
No escape

song performed by Journey
Added by Lucian Velea
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Can You Deal With It?

(words and music: duran duran)
There must be somebody
Wholl make love to me.
Blow the rules away
And trash these yesterdays.
Live in simpathy
Use psychology.
To find the twist in me (ah-ha)
Can you deal with it?
Recent enquiry
Showed now boundry.
Loves the only way
Can you handle it?
Can you deal with it? (oowa)
Can you deal with it?
Can you deal with it? (oowa)
Can you deal with it?
Can you deal with it?
When you aint sorry? (can you deal with it? )
For all that you appologise (can you deal with it? )
Working up to something,
I know youre up to something...
Yeahhhh...
Can you deal with it? (somethings got to happen)
Can you deal with it? (somethings got to get me up)
Say you deal with it? (but nothing never happens)
Can you deal with it? (cos nothings ever good enough)
Say you deal with it?
Can you deal with it? (somethings got to happen)
Can you deal with it? (somethings got to get me up)
Say you deal with it? (but nothings gonna happen)
Can you deal with it? (cos nothings ever good enough)
Say you deal with it?

song performed by Duran Duran
Added by Lucian Velea
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Threats To Keep A People In Grief

How can we seek solutions...
When our denials love to bask,
In a pleasing done by deceit.

How can we non-fictionalize our lives,
When fiction is all we seek.

How can we ever expect to accept the truth,
When none of it is believed.

And how is a greatness once perceived,
So willing to feed decadence...
And allow conflict and division succeed.

All of these may be questions!
But the opportunity to answer them,
Become threats to keep a people in grief.

Threats to keep a people in grief.

'Why no one answers them? '

They're threats to keep a people in grief!

'Why? '

They're threats to keep a people in grief!

Threats to keep a people in grief.
'Why no one answers them? '
They're threats to keep a people in grief!
'Why? '
Threats to keep a people in grief.
'Why no one answers them? '
They're threats to keep a people in grief!
'Why? '

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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Affirmations(2002-2004)

Today, I will get up before my alarm
Today, I won't close my eyes until dusk
Today, I will not get a speeding ticket
Today, I will count this day as a first
Today, I will enjoy the life that has been left to me
Today, I won't frown over the may-have-beens
Today, I won't cry over the should-have-beens
Today, I won't wonder about the could-have-beens

Today, I'll smile.......Today, I'll Laugh.... Today, I'll relax

Today, I won't feel alone because I don't see you
Today, I'll find something new that wasn't true of you
Today, I won't be afraid to look upon a new face
Today, I'll step up and take my place
Today, I won't think about what I've lost
Today, I'll look forward instead of behind
Today, I'll find some piece of mind

Today, I'll hope.... Today, I'll pray... Today, I'll believe

Today, I'll dream as if I always did
Today, I'll wish on a star the way I used to
Today, I'll reach for the heavens and sigh
Today, My heart will start to heal
Today, the biggest miracle is ME.
Today, Yesterday's problems ceased to be
Today, the rain has stopped and the sun has returned
Today, the breath of kindness is found in words

Today, I wonder.... Today, I am a child.

poem by Lillian B. Rose
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I Need Your Loving

I need your loving
I need your kissing, baby
I need your loving
I need your kissing, baby
Moonlit sky casts shadows down
Romance in the air is strong
Somethings telling me
I need your love
I need your loving
I need your kissing, baby
And thats a fact
I need your loving
I need your kissing, baby
Where are you at?
Looking glass reflects the moon
Your loves missing from this room
Baby, now I see
I need your love
I need your loving
I need your kissing, baby
And thats a fact
I need your loving
I need your kissing, baby
Where are you at?
I need your loving
I need your love
I need your kissing, baby
And thats a fact
I need your loving
I need your love
I need your kissing, baby
Where are you at?
Oh, I need your love
I need you tonight
Cant do without
Oh, I need your love
Oh, I need your love
So I can hug
And squeeze you tight
Oh, I need your love
Oh, I need your love
I need you tonight
Cant do without
Oh, I need your love
Oh, I need your love
So I can hug
And squeeze you tight
Oh, I need your love
Baby
Come on home to me

[...] Read more

song performed by Human League
Added by Lucian Velea
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Deal With The Preacher

I need love, the kind I've
never known before.
You need it, too, the kind that makes you feel so good, baby.
I want to give, give you all the love you need.
Well, I'm a loner, and that's the way I want to be, Yeah.
Let me say. As the sun climbs across the sky above,
So your smile filled me with a stronger love.
Just as you and I, watchin' the morning sky, oh, yeah.
Somehow I know it's time for me to say goodbye, Yeah, yeah.
Here's why: can't make a deal with the preacher, oh, yeah, yeah.
And I can't make a bargain in heaven, now.
Angel, you came to my window, Angel, you came to my door.
I was a fool and I let you in; I sure ain't no fool anymore!
Yeah, yeah, you better believe me right now baby.
Oh, yeah.
As the sun climbs across the sky above,
So your smile, filled me with a stronger love, mm.
Just as you and I, we're watchin' the morning sky,
And somehow I know, it's time for me to say goodbye.
I can't make a deal with the preacher, you know yeah.
And I can't make a bargain in heaven, yeah, yeah.
Heaven knows me by now.
I can't make a deal, oh no, no, no,
no.
I love you baby, I love you baby.
I can't make a deal, make a deal, make a deal,
Make a deal, make a deal. Yeah, yeah.
You know and I can't make no bargain in heaven,
Listen, I can't make a deal, make a deal, make a deal,
Make a deal, make a deal, oh, oh.
And I can't make no bargain in heaven, oh yeah.
Make a deal...

song performed by Bad Company
Added by Lucian Velea
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I Need You

Dont need a roller or a limousine
I don't need my picture in a magazine
I don't need approval from a chosen few
Tell you what I do need, I need you
Don't need no fixtures or feelings of home
I'm so unfurnished, I'm on my own
I don't need reminding when the rent is due
Tell you what I do need, I need you
I need you like a fly needs a plane
I need you like a ball needs a game
I need you like a pool needs a cue
I need you, need you, need you, I need you
I don't need no covered kisses for company
I don't want no washed up dishes soft soapin' me
I don't need no Cinderella in high-heeled shoes
I tell you what I do need, I need you
I need you like a fly needs a plane
I need you like a ball needs a game
I need you like a shot needs to shoot
I need you, need you, need you, I need you
I need you, need you, need you, I need you
Said I want you (I need you)
I need you, need you, need you, I need you
But I want, I want you (I need you)
Yes, I need (I need you)
I need you, need you, need you, I need you
I want you, want you, want you (I need you)

song performed by Paul Carrack
Added by Lucian Velea
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III. The Other Half-Rome

Another day that finds her living yet,
Little Pompilia, with the patient brow
And lamentable smile on those poor lips,
And, under the white hospital-array,
A flower-like body, to frighten at a bruise
You'd think, yet now, stabbed through and through again,
Alive i' the ruins. 'T is a miracle.
It seems that, when her husband struck her first,
She prayed Madonna just that she might live
So long as to confess and be absolved;
And whether it was that, all her sad life long
Never before successful in a prayer,
This prayer rose with authority too dread,—
Or whether, because earth was hell to her,
By compensation, when the blackness broke
She got one glimpse of quiet and the cool blue,
To show her for a moment such things were,—
Or else,—as the Augustinian Brother thinks,
The friar who took confession from her lip,—
When a probationary soul that moved
From nobleness to nobleness, as she,
Over the rough way of the world, succumbs,
Bloodies its last thorn with unflinching foot,
The angels love to do their work betimes,
Staunch some wounds here nor leave so much for God.
Who knows? However it be, confessed, absolved,
She lies, with overplus of life beside
To speak and right herself from first to last,
Right the friend also, lamb-pure, lion-brave,
Care for the boy's concerns, to save the son
From the sire, her two-weeks' infant orphaned thus,
And—with best smile of all reserved for him—
Pardon that sire and husband from the heart.
A miracle, so tell your Molinists!

There she lies in the long white lazar-house.
Rome has besieged, these two days, never doubt,
Saint Anna's where she waits her death, to hear
Though but the chink o' the bell, turn o' the hinge
When the reluctant wicket opes at last,
Lets in, on now this and now that pretence,
Too many by half,—complain the men of art,—
For a patient in such plight. The lawyers first
Paid the due visit—justice must be done;
They took her witness, why the murder was.
Then the priests followed properly,—a soul
To shrive; 't was Brother Celestine's own right,
The same who noises thus her gifts abroad.
But many more, who found they were old friends,
Pushed in to have their stare and take their talk

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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The Interpretation of Nature and

I.

MAN, being the servant and interpreter of Nature, can do and understand so much and so much only as he has observed in fact or in thought of the course of nature: beyond this he neither knows anything nor can do anything.


II.

Neither the naked hand nor the understanding left to itself can effect much. It is by instruments and helps that the work is done, which are as much wanted for the understanding as for the hand. And as the instruments of the hand either give motion or guide it, so the instruments of the mind supply either suggestions for the understanding or cautions.

III.

Human knowledge and human power meet in one; for where the cause is not known the effect cannot be produced. Nature to be commanded must be obeyed; and that which in contemplation is as the cause is in operation as the rule.

IV.

Towards the effecting of works, all that man can do is to put together or put asunder natural bodies. The rest is done by nature working within.

V.

The study of nature with a view to works is engaged in by the mechanic, the mathematician, the physician, the alchemist, and the magician; but by all (as things now are) with slight endeavour and scanty success.

VI.

It would be an unsound fancy and self-contradictory to expect that things which have never yet been done can be done except by means which have never yet been tried.

VII.

The productions of the mind and hand seem very numerous in books and manufactures. But all this variety lies in an exquisite subtlety and derivations from a few things already known; not in the number of axioms.

VIII.

Moreover the works already known are due to chance and experiment rather than to sciences; for the sciences we now possess are merely systems for the nice ordering and setting forth of things already invented; not methods of invention or directions for new works.

IX.

The cause and root of nearly all evils in the sciences is this -- that while we falsely admire and extol the powers of the human mind we neglect to seek for its true helps.

X.

The subtlety of nature is greater many times over than the subtlety of the senses and understanding; so that all those specious meditations, speculations, and glosses in which men indulge are quite from the purpose, only there is no one by to observe it.

XI.

As the sciences which we now have do not help us in finding out new works, so neither does the logic which we now have help us in finding out new sciences.

XII.

The logic now in use serves rather to fix and give stability to the errors which have their foundation in commonly received notions than to help the search after truth. So it does more harm than good.

XIII.

[...] Read more

poem by Sir Francis Bacon
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Of The Wolf And Man

Off through the new day's mist I run
off from the new day's mist I have come
I hunt
therefore I am
harvest the land
taking of the fallen lamb
off thruogh the new day's mist I run
off from the new day'smist I have come
we shift
pulsing with the earth
company we keep
roaming the land while you sleep
shape shift nose to the wind
shape shift feeling I've been
move swift all senses clean
earth's gift back to the meaning of life
bright is the moon high in starlight
chill is the air cold as steel tonight
we shift
call of the wild
fear in your eyes
it's later than you realized
shape shift nose to the wind
shape shift feeling I've been
move swift all senses clean
earth's gift back to the meaning of life
I feel I change
back to a better day
hair stands on the back of my neck
in wildness is the preservation of the world
so seek the wolf in thyself
shape shift nose to the wind
shape shift feeling I've been
move swift all senses clean
earth's gift back to the meaning
of wolf and man

song performed by Metallica from Metallica
Added by Lucian Velea
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Of Wolf & Man

Off through the new days mist I run
Off from the new days mist I have come
I hunt
Therefore I am
Harvest the land
Taking of the fallen lamb
Off thruogh the new days mist I run
Off from the new daysmist I have come
We shift
Pulsing with the earth
Company we keep
Roaming the land while you sleep
Shape shift nose to the wind
Shape shift feeling Ive been
Move swift all senses clean
Earths gift back to the meaning of life
Bright is the moon high in starlight
Chill is the air cold as steel tonight
We shift
Call of the wild
Fear in your eyes
Its later than you realized
Shape shift nose to the wind
Shape shift feeling Ive been
Move swift all senses clean
Earths gift back to the meaning of life
I feel I change
Back to a better day
Hair stands on the back of my neck
In wildness is the preservation of the world
So seek the wolf in thyself
Shape shift nose to the wind
Shape shift feeling Ive been
Move swift all senses clean
Earths gift
Back to the meaning of wolf and man

song performed by Metallica
Added by Lucian Velea
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Of Wolf And Man

Off through the new day's mist I run
off from the new day's mist I have come
I hunt
therefore I am
harvest the land
taking of the fallen lamb
off thruogh the new day's mist I run
off from the new day'smist I have come
we shift
pulsing with the earth
company we keep
roaming the land while you sleep
shape shift nose to the wind
shape shift feeling I've been
move swift all senses clean
earth's gift back to the meaning of life
bright is the moon high in starlight
chill is the air cold as steel tonight
we shift
call of the wild
fear in your eyes
it's later than you realized
shape shift nose to the wind
shape shift feeling I've been
move swift all senses clean
earth's gift back to the meaning of life
I feel I change
back to a better day
hair stands on the back of my neck
in wildness is the preservation of the world
so seek the wolf in thyself
shape shift nose to the wind
shape shift feeling I've been
move swift all senses clean
earth's gift
back to the meaning of wolf and man

song performed by Metallica
Added by Lucian Velea
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Shift Over

Shift over and let me slide near you.
I hope you are awake to help me demonstrate,
Those needs I have for you like yours for me...
As said in the bed where nothing is left untouched,
Or left to awaken my fantasies.

Shift over and let me slide near you.

I don't know why,
But you seem to never get it.
It is only you and me,
And what makes this a good receipe.
To keep between us forever.

Shift over and let me slide near you.

I know you did not drive me here,
To stay stiff and shiftless to lay in park!
I'm not here to be a begging receiver either.
I've got to howl like I'm sparked by the dark.

Shift over and let me slide near you.

Ohhhh...you shifted to cruise.

Shift over and let me slide near you.
I hope you are awake to help me demonstrate,
Those needs I have for you like yours for me...
As said in the bed where nothing is left untouched,
Or left to awaken my fantasies.

Ohhhh...you shifted to cruise.

Oh my why do I,
Walk into these things?
And...
Oh my why do I,
Feel the 'victim' as it seems to me.

Ohhhh...you shifted to cruise.

Shift over and let me slide near you.

I don't know why,
But you seem to never get it.
It is only you and me,
And what makes this a good receipe.
To keep between us forever.

Shift over and let me slide near you,

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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Your Horoscope For Today

aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
Speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole seventeen hours a
Day
Pisces
Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus
You are the tru lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say
Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
Watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to meryl streep
Taurus
You will never find tru happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go
Back to sleep
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through
Your chest
Cancer
The position of jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in
The mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's
Test
Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's
Face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of
Strawberry quik
Virgo
All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the
Relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep
Significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give
You my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid,
Scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not
To reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true.
Where was i?
Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that

[...] Read more

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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