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I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.

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25 Minutes To Go

They're buildin' the gallows outside my cell.
I got 25 minutes to go.

And in 25 minutes I'll be in Hell.
I got 24 minutes to go.

Well, they give me some beans for my last meal.
23 minutes to go.

And you know... nobody asked me how I feel.
I got 22 minutes to go.

So, I wrote to the Gov'nor... the whole damned bunch.
Ahhh... 21 minutes to go.

And I call up the Mayor, and he's out to lunch.

I got 20 more minutes to go.

Well, the Sheriff says, 'Boy, I wanna watch you die'.
19 minutes to go.

I laugh in his face... and I spit in his eye.
I got 18 minutes to go.

Well...I call out to the Warden to hear my plea.
17 minute to go.

He says, 'Call me back in a week or three.
You've got 16 minutes to go.'

Well, my lawyer says he's sorry he missed my case.
Mmmm....15 minutes to go.

Yeah, well if you're so sorry, come up and take my place.
I got 14 minutes to go.

Well, now here comes the padre to save my soul
With 13 minutes to go.

And he's talkin' about burnin', but I'm so damned cold.
I got 12 more minutes to go.

Now they're testin' the trap. It chills my spine.
I got 11 minutes to go.

'Cuz the goddamned thing it works just fine.
I got 10 more minutes to go.

I'm waitin' for the pardon... gonna set me free

[...] Read more

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Ten Minutes Aint Enough

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not drifting.

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Some may wish a quick...
Beginning that swiftly ends.
With nothing to explore.
But an exit out a door!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.

[...] Read more

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All the Jokes

All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad

So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told

But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old

But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told

Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air

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30 Minutes

Mama, papa forgive me
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of time to decide
Do we run? should I hide
For the rest of my life
Can we fly? do we stay?
We could lose we could fail
And the more minutes take
To make planer, or mistakes
30 minutes, the blink of the night
30 minutes to alter our lifes
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide
30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to shelter the blame
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies
30 minutes to finally decide
Carousels in the sky
That we shape with our eyes
Under shade silhouettes casting
Shapes crying rain
Can we fly do I stay
We could lose, we could fail
Either way, options change
Chances fail, trains derail.
30 minutes, the blink of the night
30 minutes to all of our lifes
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide
30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to show her the blame
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies
30 minutes to finally decide
To decide, to decide to decide to decide
(repeat until fade)

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Few Minutes in the Dark

A few minutes in the dark.
What kind of dark?
No light shining?
Depression?
A reality check?

A few minutes in the dark can change you.
Change you how?
Change your outlook of life?
Change your personality?
Cause you to sin?

A few minutes in the dark is dangerous.
How is it dangerous?
Swallow you up in fear.
Never feel happiness.
No more friends.
No more family.
No more love.
No more life.
No more light.

A few minutes in the dark is scary.
You see the evil in the world with no light.
You lose your light for a few minutes and soul dies.
You lose a person, a loved one, every single second.
You lose sight of them and they're gone forever.
A few minutes in the dark and you cant see anything.
No more things that coused you joy or filled with love.

A few minutes in the dark.
It takes only 30 seconds for a child to be kidnapped.
Then after that, they fall to the darkness.
Soul burned out, and love gone.
Another life fallen to the darkness.

A few minutes in the dark.
When you left the light, there is no turning back.
A few minutes in the dark, and you lose sight.
Lose sight of the light.
See what happens in the dark?

A few minutes in the dark.
Causes death.
A breakup between lovers and one points a gun to their head.
A few minutes in the dark and you die.
The light will be sealed from you along memories.
Memories of light and love.
The two things the dark can never have.
Light and love.

[...] Read more

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Don't You Realize

Chorus:
Don't you realize
Don't you understand
It's the final cut
It's the bitter end
Don't you realize
We have reached the edge
Don't you see the cold
In my eyes
Verse 1:
Baby don't tell me we'll stay friends
Love never gets a second chance
Split hearts never mend
Don't call again
Baby don't send me "come back"-mails
I'm so fed up with fairy tales
The message is clear
Keep outta here...
Chorus:
Don't you realize
Don't you understand
It's the final cut
It's the bitter end
Don't you realize
We have reached the edge
Don't you see the cold
In my eyes
Don't you realize
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Verse 2:
Baby don't sell me dreams again
Cos I'm so sick of all of them
I've learned the hard way
They won't come true
Baby don't say you've changed your mind
Cos I've left everything behind
That made me love you
Baby I'm through
Chorus:
Don't you realize
Don't you understand
It's the final cut
It's the bitter end
Don't you realize
We have reached the edge
Don't you see the cold
In my eyes
Don't you realize
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Tell me why you tried to cheat

[...] Read more

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6 Minutes Of Pleasure

Six minutes, six minutes
Six minutes, six minutes
(Sample)
I know why you're here
I ain't sayin nothin
(LL Cool J)
Aiyyo baby I know why you're here
I know what you're doing
I can see it in your eyes you're up to somethin
I know what it is, but we're still cool
And we can socialize, I'm peepin ya baby
I'm holdin back I'm not lettin go
Cause a fool doesn't have a shoulder to cry on
So, give me a kiss and you service
Whether you like a mister or a miss
(Chorus sample in the background)
(LL Cool J)
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
(LL Cool J)
Baby you're my dear I know why you're here
I know why you came I know what you're thinkin
I know what you need and that's what I've got
You think I'm goin crazy no I'm not drinking
I know what you want, I made ya want it
Take my hand listen to the man
You have a plan don't even risk it
What do you want a biscuit?
(Chorus sample in the background)
(LL Cool J)
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me
I know why you're here
But I ain't sayin nothin
Aiyyo baby I know you don't love me

[...] Read more

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I'll Never See You As Cupid

10 minutes.
5 minutes.
No minutes of my time,
To
Waste my priorities.
Just to start an argument,
To please that need.

1 minute
2 minutes
No minutes will I find,
To
Let you mess around with me.
Trying to destroy my every bit of peace.

You're not gonna rock my boat,
I float on peaceful waters.
No.
Your envy and that jealousy...
Will not get again that close to me.

1 minute
2 minutes
No minutes will I find,
To
Let you mess around with me.
Trying to destroy my every bit of peace.

You're not gonna rock my boat,
I float on peaceful waters.
No.
Your envy and that jealousy...
Will not get again that close to me.

You can swing back and forth on a rope,
To get me to notice your show.
But that swinging that you're doing is a childish thing.
And bringing much attention to a fool,
Who
Only broods...
In 'stupid'!

10 minutes.
5 minutes.
No minutes of my time,
To
Waste my priorities.
Just to start an argument,
To please that need.

[...] Read more

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Everything Is You

...you are my everything...
i've been thinking of a way to phrase it
seem to never find the words to say it
but it's true to say
i've been occupied by other things (i've been occupied by other things)
how could i think that you wouldn't notice (you wouldn't notice)
the absence of our closeness
realizing now
i will never let it happen again (again)
now i realize
that you are my everything
and without you here beside me
it's like an angel without it's wings
and now i realize (i realize)
that you are my everything
now i know it
should've shown it
and now i realize that you are my everything
as i sit here contemplating
'bout our love that's slowly fading
so insensitive
didn't hear you calling out for me...(didn't hear you calling out my name..)
if i could change the past i would do
everything to show i appreciate you
open up your heart
let me help you fall in love again
my friend, 'cause now i
now i realize
that you are my everything
and without you here beside me
it's like an angel without it's wings
(now i) and now i realize
that you are my everything
now i know it
should've shown it
and now i realize
that you are my everything
now i realize
that you are my everything
and without you here beside me
it's like an angel without it's wings (like an angel without it's wings)
(and now) and now i realize
that you are my everything (you are everything)
now i know it (now i know it)
shouldve shown it (should've shown it)
and now i realize that you are my everything
now i realize
that you are my everything
(life without you here beside me) and like an angel without it's wings
(oh can't you see that i apologize)

[...] Read more

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Do You Realize?

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize

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I Can't Realize

I realize buds, flowers and their blooming
in the gardens of earth;
Only I can't realize their falling down from trees.

I realize clouds, rain and the sweet soft sound of its fall;
Only I can't realize the thunder.

Rivers, fields, oceans, forests, hills, mountains—
I realize them all;
Only I can't realize the deserts.

I realize fish, shark, deer and bright striped tiger;
Only I can't realize a shark beside a fish and a tiger
beside a deer.

I realize life,
many turns of life I realize very clearly;
Only the ice-cold death I can't realize any way.

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Heaven And Hell (Being Geri Haliwell)

Thanks to jamez_blue@hotmail.com for these lyrics.
Fame costs - and right here's where you start paying
Have a drink - alcoholic
Grab a coat - shopaholic
Grab a bite - anorexic
Intellectual? I'm dyslexic
Feeling happy - could be gay
Maybe but not today
Right or wrong - either way
Whatever
So you think you want to be famous
So you think you want to drive my car
Don't you know you've gotta be shameless
Baby if you want to be a star
Ah ah
Ah ah
But I'm just a girl I wanna live for ever
I gonna to learn how to fly
NEWSFLASH
Fifteen minutes to show me what you're made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
I've seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
It's heaven - it's hell - being Geri Halliwell
Get a job get a car
Get a life get a face
Get get a god get a man
Get some love and lose some weight
Extra extra read all about it
So you know you wanna be famous
You keep on knocking but you can't get in
And once you get it how you gonna keep it
Don't you know its not enough to win
NEWSFLASH
Fifteen minutes to show me what you're made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
I've seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
It's heaven - it's hell - being Geri Halliwell
Fifteen minutes show em you can do it
Fifteen minutes are you gonna screw it
Seen it done it is there nothing to it
It's heaven - it's hell - being Geri Halliwell
I just want to be loved by you
I'm just a girl I wanna live for ever
I gonna to learn how to fly
Fifteen minutes to show me what you're made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
I've seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
It's heaven - it's hell - being Geri Halliwell
The only difference between you and me is
You get deadlines and I get headlines

[...] Read more

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Heaven And Hell

Fame costs - and right here's where you start paying
Have a drink - alcoholic
Grab a coat - shopaholic
Grab a bite - anorexic
Intellectual? i'm dyslexic
Feeling happy - could be gay
Maybe but not today
Right or wrong - either way
Whatever
So you think you want to be famous
So you think you want to drive my car
Don't you know you've gotta be shameless
Baby if you want to be a star
Ah ah
Ah ah
But i'm just a girl i wanna live for ever
I gonna to learn how to fly
Newsflash
Fifteen minutes to show me what you're made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
I've seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
It's heaven - it's hell - being geri halliwell
Get a job get a car
Get a life get a face
Get get a god get a man
Get some love and lose some weight
Extra extra read all about it
So you know you wanna be famous
You keep on knocking but you can't get in
And once you get it how you gonna keep it
Don't you know its not enough to win
Newsflash
Fifteen minutes to show me what you're made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
I've seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
It's heaven - it's hell - being geri halliwell
Fifteen minutes show em you can do it
Fifteen minutes are you gonna screw it
Seen it done it is there nothing to it
It's heaven - it's hell - being geri halliwell
I just want to be loved by you
I'm just a girl i wanna live for ever
I gonna to learn how to fly
Fifteen minutes to show me what you're made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
I've seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
It's heaven - it's hell - being geri halliwell
The only difference between you and me is
You get deadlines and i get headlines
You're so hip it hurts

[...] Read more

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Heaven & Hell

Fame costs - and right heres where you start paying
Have a drink - alcoholic
Grab a coat - shopaholic
Grab a bite - anorexic
Intellectual? Im dyslexic
Feeling happy - could be gay
Maybe but not today
Right or wrong - either way
Whatever
So you think you want to be famous
So you think you want to drive my car
Dont you know youve gotta be shameless
Baby if you want to be a star
Ah ah
Ah ah
But Im just a girl I wanna live for ever
I gonna to learn how to fly
Newsflash
Fifteen minutes to show me what youre made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
Ive seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
Its heaven - its hell - being geri halliwell
Get a job get a car
Get a life get a face
Get get a God get a man
Get some love and lose some weight
Extra extra read all about it
So you know you wanna be famous
You keep on knocking but you cant get in
And once you get it how you gonna keep it
Dont you know its not enough to win
Newsflash
Fifteen minutes to show me what youre made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
Ive seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
Its heaven - its hell - being geri halliwell
Fifteen minutes show em you can do it
Fifteen minutes are you gonna screw it
Seen it done it is there nothing to it
Its heaven - its hell - being geri halliwell
I just want to be loved by you
Im just a girl I wanna live for ever
I gonna to learn how to fly
Fifteen minutes to show me what youre made of
Fifteen minutes what are you afraid of
Ive seen it done it you wanna know the trade-off
Its heaven - its hell - being geri halliwell
The only difference between you and me is
You get deadlines and I get headlines
Youre so hip it hurts

[...] Read more

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Minutes Of Power

Written by: vanilla ice & tha hit men
Produced by: vanilla ice & tha hit men
Published by: ice baby music, inc.,
Oliver and cooley music publishing., bmi
Background vocals (rap): vanilla ice
Mix by: vanilla ice
Synchclavier engineer: rober wechsler
Recorded & mixed at luminous sound studios, inc.
Crank it up, yo, and let me hear that system bump.
Cuz with this here I gotta get over the hump.
And you know what that means (that means)
Kickin out funky rhymes g (rhymes g)
I got the funky rjymes thatll please (thatll please).
And my jams break overseas (overseas)
So when I come to town be prepared to be hyped up.
Cuz when the mics turned on I get psyched up (psyched up)
The v.i.p. gets it started with intro.
Bustin smooth moves on top of instrumental
Turn up the beats in the jeeps louder
Here we go yall - with minutes of power
Minutes of power
Minutes of power
When I step to the mic - bro.
Vanilla ice does it right
And what Im sayin is - yo!
Ya suckers frontin what ya wantin is for me to fade
Thought I was outta here fools,
I aint goin away.
Back with the track that will keep my bank fat.
Hua! vanillas got the flavor for the funky format.
An if youre not givin up the credit I seek -
Vips in the house and theyre ready to creep.
Now whatcha gonna do when my boys are on you?
You know a hard head makes for a soft shoe.
So turn it up for the passengers - louder!
Its vanilla killa with minutes of power.
Walk through the smoke on the stage
And the girls scream.
Ice gets em hot, then they melt like ice cream.
Flowin with the swiftness
Kickin it with the quickness.
Fells gettin jealous cuz their girlies want a quick kiss.
When Im rolllin around in my 5.0 drop top
Turning up the sounds,
Cuz I wanna bump the hip hop.
People gettin mad cuz they hear the big bass hit.
I turn it up more just to let cha know I wont quit.
Ice has got it locked down and theres no stoppin it.
When I hear a track like this
You know that Ill be rocking it.

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Much Like a Visit

You did what you knew.
How can you accuse someone,
Of doing that too?

It's like a light that shines through.
It can not be stopped from doing,
What it does to you.

If you're here to live your life,
The only way to do it...
Is to live it!
Much like a visit.
Taking minutes,
To live it!

If you're here to live your life,
The only way to do it...
Is to live it!
Much like a visit,
Taking minutes.

You did what you knew.
How can you accuse someone,
Of doing that too?
Just like you do.

If you're here to live your life,
The only way to do it...
Is to live it!
Much like a visit.
Taking minutes,
To live it!

If you're here to live your life,
The only way to do it...
Is to live it!
Much like a visit,
Taking minutes.

It's like a light that shines through.
It can not be stopped from doing,
What it does to you.
Until no more is due to you!

If you're here to live your life,
The only way to do it...
Is to live it!
Much like a visit,
Taking minutes.

[...] Read more

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A monologue on 'nothing in particular

Well you know,

It always begins like this

'The day starts'

Half an hour early for me

Clocks set hour an hour early

The day begins

Well morning starts

With a break of sunlight

Flooding through the cracks

In the blinds

In summer it is always much earlier

Than the pre set time on the alarm clock

Which is primed to go off

Half an hour earlier

Inevitably

The light wakes me at sunrise

Which often occurs around five o'clock

Like some cruel trick

I am woken exactly an hour or is it half an hour

Before my alarm clock goes off, half an hour earlier?

Which is set to go off half an hour early

But that never happens in the summer

The lie in ends up a sleep over

In winter this is a different matter again

With no light

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Gave Up

Give it to me i throw it away
Give it to me i throw it away
Covered in hope and vaseline
Still cannot fix this broken machine
Watching the hole it used to be mine
Just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline
Of the trust i will betray
Give it to me i throw it away
After everything i've done i hate myself for what i've become
Give it to me i throw it away
Give it to me i throw it away
Throw it away
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize?
It took you to make me see the light
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize?
It took you to make me see the light
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize?
It took you to make me see the light
Written and performed by: trent reznor
Remixed by: coil with danny hyde at matrix (london)

song performed by Nine Inch NailsReport problemRelated quotes
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Stream Line Consciousness

Big brother voyeur blimps unidentified spies
uncle sam peeping toms patrolling skies
bird brain police intelligence
remote viewing homeland pest control
pentagon private eye monitoring the public's every move
mass produced micro chips intercepting prayers patrolling citizens from heaven
Bentham's Panopticon NSA
super computer surveillance cameras
world police spying Manhattan streets

'Athens plummets Euro death spiral
suicide rates soar deepening into despair'

haaretz..the post.. the times
blogs tribunes dailies all in a mad gab
headlong headline attention grabbing scramble

'Yugoslavia - Iraq - Egypt - Yemen - Iran - Syria - United States'
bilderberg building blocks New American Century post apocalyptic prophecy

'foreign mercenaries …national guard...DOD
homeland security to amass covert munitions stockpile
Americans on guard anxieties mounting surrounding
the stripping of amendments 1st if you swing to your left
2nd if you stand on the right
whispers of martial law circulate Anarchical reverberations
emanate from internet Alt culture epicenters
bottle necking global tensions'

'common feeling of deepening disappointment...
heightened expectations...
people expecting an explosive situation over the
next few weeks'

...riot police respond 'to preserve public order'
public roads barricaded to 'protect security of citizens'

'blatant act of censorship
western mainstream media staying away
from Myanmar massacres of Mohammedan Angels
further showing strong anti Muslim bias'

'Media blackout Burmese army
seeking coverage under propaganda blankets'

from the middle east throughout the western world
planet consciousness blurring lines between conspiracy/reality
conflicting global network narratives multiply violent scenarios daily
Victims in a world wide scramble
Government Banking Military

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Realize My Mind

I wake in the morning to the darkness of my soul
Look into your eyes and my body senses the fire below
Move myself close to you and lay upon your breast
Reach up and light your long black cigarette

My winged angel your embrace surrounds me
You realize my mind
My winged angel your touch binds me
You realize my mind
My winged angel cast your spell on me
You realize my mind
My winged angel give myself to you
You have all of me


You move smooth, dance slow I feel your dark tenderness
Wings around me, mesmerize me love to serve my hearts temptress
Feeling free touching you, you accept your little pet
You have a walk so bold and I know
Your eyes burn me to death

My winged angel your embrace surrounds me
You realize my mind
My winged angel your touch binds me
You realize my mind
My winged angel cast your spell on me
You realize my mind
My winged angel give myself to you
You have all of me

I give my words to you to please you each and everyway
They spring forth from truths you release within me with the games you play
This girl is grateful to be so uninhibited and free for you
This girl knows girl is so happy to serve you

My winged angel your embrace surrounds me
You realize my mind
My winged angel your touch binds me
You realize my mind
My winged angel cast your spell on me
You realize my mind
My winged angel give myself to you
You have all of me

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