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Jim Carrey

I don't make it in regular channels, and that's okay for me.

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The Freeview User Manual

Blah, blah, blah, blah... Batteries in.
Switch on... Scan for Freeview channels...
No channels found. Plug in aerial.
Scan for Freeview channels again...
Found 3 channels. Are you kidding me?
Page 12. Try a signal booster...

Later that afternoon...

Another £20 that's cost me!
Plug in aerial. Find a spare cable.
Fit cable to Freeview box...
Scan again... Channels in the wrong order.
Page 13. Top of page: Delete channels.
Page 13. Try manual scan...
Finally...100 channels.

Later that evening...

30 channels disappeared. Flipping thing!
Remove aerial. Autoscan. No channels.
Reconnect aerial. Pause for some whiskey...
Rescan channels. Ah... Click Save channels!
Check EPG. What's the EPG?
Page 205. Technical Terms Explained.

Later the next morning...

Page 16. How to record a programme...
OK, why's the first 5 minutes not there?
Page 17. Missing segments in recordings?
Page 18. Using Timeshift rewind playback.

Press rewind button and again, again and again.
Pause at chosen start point for manual recording.
Press record then start button.
Fast forward to end of programme...
Rewind to end of programme...
Fast forward to end of programme...
Press record and stop button.
Where's the stop button?
Page 4. Remote control buttons guide.
Press the stop button...

Later that afternoon... in the shop...

Hi, I've brought this Freeview thing back.

What's wrong with it, mate?

[...] Read more

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Regular Guy

Im the kind of guy a girl takes home to mom
Pleated khaki pants, and cologne thats the bomb
(you sure smell perty)
Shake her dads hand
Look him in the eye
And tell him straight up Im just a regular guy (ill have her home by 9 sir)
Im a regular guy who stays out of trouble( let me get that for you mam)
A regular guy says mam on the double( Im on it)
Im a regular guy just like dawsons creek
A regular guy just dont call me a geek, a geek yeah
But sometimes I remember what got me here
It was friday and cussing
Back off Im in a boy band
And showing no fear
I watch jay leno (hes funny) 7th heaven too
And I ask myself sometimes what would jesus do
Grab me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Im buds with my mom
And I hang out with my dad..hes my buddy
I play everything safe so Ill never be sad (boo hoo)
Im a regular guy who stays out of trouble( let me get that for you mam)
A regular guy says mam on the double( Im on it)
Im a regular guy just like dawsons creek
A regular guy just dont call me a geek, a geek yeah
Dont push me.
Damnt sometimes I wanna smash things up
Jacked up and wrapped upIm in a boy band.. a boyband
And have to pee in a cup
Im a regular guy who stays out of trouble( let me get that for you mam)
A regular guy says mam on the double( Im on it)
Im a regular guy just like dawsons creek
A regular guy just dont call me a geek, a geek yeah

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Changing Channels

Changing channels
By: jimmy buffett, mac mcanally
1989
Girl of a thousand faces
From a long line of basket cases
Daughter of a fortune teller
Oh the lovely isabella
Chorus:
Shes changing channels
Stayin on her toes
Shes just changing channels
As she goes
This place is full of beachhead sailors
Fishermen and old retailers
Simple lives are so deep seated
And history always gets repeated
Some folks see a birds eye view
Others havent got a clue
Some will go and some will stay
It doesnt matter anyway
Chorus:
They are changing channels
Crazy girls and boys
Theyll be changing channels
Changing toys
Survivors of tidal waves
Children of former slaves
Strange how they all behave
Like its another world
Theres an island in the ocean
Where the people stay in motion
Somewhere on the old gulf stream
Do they live or did I dream
Chorus:
They were changing channels
Waitin for their sails to fill
Theyll be changing channels
Always will
Theyll be changing channels
Waitin for their sails to fill
Theyll be changing channels
Always will
To joseph campbell and bruce chadwick whose words and thoughts were an
Inspiration. to charlie allen and lt. jim amos anderson whose spirits
Linger with me though their days on the planet were far too few.

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Regulate Your Flowing

Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-doom-a -doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Bah bah-2-poppa.

Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-do om-a-doom-a-doom.
Bah bah-2-poppa.

Real neat.
And not a picky eater.
Toasted whole wheat,
With jam-a or rye-i.

Pickled beets,
Mixed with chili and green peppers.
Sweetens a deliciousness,
You've gotta once try!

Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop- a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a- doom.
Bah bah-2-poppa.

Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom.
Poopoop-a-do om-a-doom-a-doom.
Bah bah-2-poppa.

Regulate your flowing,
By going regular.
Regulate your flowing,
By going regular.
Regulate your flowing,
By going regular.
Regulate your flowing,
And go,
Regular.

Real neat.
And not a picky eater.
Toasted whole wheat,
With jam-a or rye-i.

Pickled beets,
Mixed with chili and green peppers.
Sweetens a deliciousness,
You've gotta once try!

[...] Read more

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57 Channels

I bought a bourgeois house in the hollywood hills
With a truckload of hundred thousand dollar bills
Man came by to hook up my cable tv
We settled in for the night my baby and me
We switched 'round and 'round 'til half-past dawn
There was fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Well now home entertainment was my baby's wish
So i hopped into town for a satellite dish
I tied it to the top of my japanese car
I came home and i pointed it out into the stars
A message came back from the great beyond
There's fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Well we might'a made some friends with some billionaires
We might'a got all nice and friendly if we'd made it upstairs
All i got was a note that said "bye-bye john
Our love is fifty-seven channels and nothin' on"
So i bought a .44 magnum it was solid steel cast
And in the blessed name of elvis well i just let it blast
'til my tv lay in pieces there at my feet
And they busted me for disturbing the almighty peace
Judge said "what you got in your defense son?"
"fifty-seven channels and nothin' on"
I can see by your eyes friend you're just about gone
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on...

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Nothing Will Be As Wonderful

Nothing will be as wonderful, as that spring had been
the trees were full of flowers row upon row
the water in the channels reflected bright like glass

in the distance seagulls turned around a ship’s mast
flew away in lines above us.
Nothing will be as wonderful, as that spring had been

where your hand had fitted fine and precisely into mine
where I fell more intimately in love with you
the water in the channels reflected bright like glass

we had seen an otter splashing at rocks in the sea
while the boat floated recoiling over the sea.
Nothing will be as wonderful, as that spring had been

where now I reach in vain for you
and forever you are separated from me,
the water in the channels reflects bright like glass

while the hot spring rain, wash away my tears
with dire pain cutting through me;
nothing will be as wonderful, as that spring had been
the water in the channels reflects bright like glass.

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Homeless who writes on a ballot!

Homelessness describes the condition of people without a regular dwelling. People who are homeless are unable or unwilling to acquire and maintain regular, safe, and adequate housing, or lack 'fixed, regular, and adequate night-time residence.'The legal definition of 'homeless' varies from country to country, or among different entities or institutions in the same country or region.

The term homeless may also include people whose primary night-time residence is in a homeless shelter, a warming center, a domestic violence shelter or other ad hoc housing situation. Government homeless enumeration studies also include persons who sleep in a public or private place not designed for use as a regular sleeping accommodation for human beings.

If the Citizen are good
Then why should a Police Department?
If the Citizen are good
And a Homeless becomes the President
Then why do they bother for another Election?

*'A Moral collapse, culture of greed and selfish indifference is to blame for the recent riots.'
-British Prime Minister Mr.David Cameron

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II. Half-Rome

What, you, Sir, come too? (Just the man I'd meet.)
Be ruled by me and have a care o' the crowd:
This way, while fresh folk go and get their gaze:
I'll tell you like a book and save your shins.
Fie, what a roaring day we've had! Whose fault?
Lorenzo in Lucina,—here's a church
To hold a crowd at need, accommodate
All comers from the Corso! If this crush
Make not its priests ashamed of what they show
For temple-room, don't prick them to draw purse
And down with bricks and mortar, eke us out
The beggarly transept with its bit of apse
Into a decent space for Christian ease,
Why, to-day's lucky pearl is cast to swine.
Listen and estimate the luck they've had!
(The right man, and I hold him.)

Sir, do you see,
They laid both bodies in the church, this morn
The first thing, on the chancel two steps up,
Behind the little marble balustrade;
Disposed them, Pietro the old murdered fool
To the right of the altar, and his wretched wife
On the other side. In trying to count stabs,
People supposed Violante showed the most,
Till somebody explained us that mistake;
His wounds had been dealt out indifferent where,
But she took all her stabbings in the face,
Since punished thus solely for honour's sake,
Honoris causâ, that's the proper term.
A delicacy there is, our gallants hold,
When you avenge your honour and only then,
That you disfigure the subject, fray the face,
Not just take life and end, in clownish guise.
It was Violante gave the first offence,
Got therefore the conspicuous punishment:
While Pietro, who helped merely, his mere death
Answered the purpose, so his face went free.
We fancied even, free as you please, that face
Showed itself still intolerably wronged;
Was wrinkled over with resentment yet,
Nor calm at all, as murdered faces use,
Once the worst ended: an indignant air
O' the head there was—'t is said the body turned
Round and away, rolled from Violante's side
Where they had laid it loving-husband-like.
If so, if corpses can be sensitive,
Why did not he roll right down altar-step,
Roll on through nave, roll fairly out of church,
Deprive Lorenzo of the spectacle,

[...] Read more

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III. The Other Half-Rome

Another day that finds her living yet,
Little Pompilia, with the patient brow
And lamentable smile on those poor lips,
And, under the white hospital-array,
A flower-like body, to frighten at a bruise
You'd think, yet now, stabbed through and through again,
Alive i' the ruins. 'T is a miracle.
It seems that, when her husband struck her first,
She prayed Madonna just that she might live
So long as to confess and be absolved;
And whether it was that, all her sad life long
Never before successful in a prayer,
This prayer rose with authority too dread,—
Or whether, because earth was hell to her,
By compensation, when the blackness broke
She got one glimpse of quiet and the cool blue,
To show her for a moment such things were,—
Or else,—as the Augustinian Brother thinks,
The friar who took confession from her lip,—
When a probationary soul that moved
From nobleness to nobleness, as she,
Over the rough way of the world, succumbs,
Bloodies its last thorn with unflinching foot,
The angels love to do their work betimes,
Staunch some wounds here nor leave so much for God.
Who knows? However it be, confessed, absolved,
She lies, with overplus of life beside
To speak and right herself from first to last,
Right the friend also, lamb-pure, lion-brave,
Care for the boy's concerns, to save the son
From the sire, her two-weeks' infant orphaned thus,
And—with best smile of all reserved for him—
Pardon that sire and husband from the heart.
A miracle, so tell your Molinists!

There she lies in the long white lazar-house.
Rome has besieged, these two days, never doubt,
Saint Anna's where she waits her death, to hear
Though but the chink o' the bell, turn o' the hinge
When the reluctant wicket opes at last,
Lets in, on now this and now that pretence,
Too many by half,—complain the men of art,—
For a patient in such plight. The lawyers first
Paid the due visit—justice must be done;
They took her witness, why the murder was.
Then the priests followed properly,—a soul
To shrive; 't was Brother Celestine's own right,
The same who noises thus her gifts abroad.
But many more, who found they were old friends,
Pushed in to have their stare and take their talk

[...] Read more

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IV. Tertium Quid

True, Excellency—as his Highness says,
Though she's not dead yet, she's as good as stretched
Symmetrical beside the other two;
Though he's not judged yet, he's the same as judged,
So do the facts abound and superabound:
And nothing hinders that we lift the case
Out of the shade into the shine, allow
Qualified persons to pronounce at last,
Nay, edge in an authoritative word
Between this rabble's-brabble of dolts and fools
Who make up reasonless unreasoning Rome.
"Now for the Trial!" they roar: "the Trial to test
"The truth, weigh husband and weigh wife alike
"I' the scales of law, make one scale kick the beam!"
Law's a machine from which, to please the mob,
Truth the divinity must needs descend
And clear things at the play's fifth act—aha!
Hammer into their noddles who was who
And what was what. I tell the simpletons
"Could law be competent to such a feat
"'T were done already: what begins next week
"Is end o' the Trial, last link of a chain
"Whereof the first was forged three years ago
"When law addressed herself to set wrong right,
"And proved so slow in taking the first step
"That ever some new grievance,—tort, retort,
"On one or the other side,—o'ertook i' the game,
"Retarded sentence, till this deed of death
"Is thrown in, as it were, last bale to boat
"Crammed to the edge with cargo—or passengers?
"'Trecentos inseris: ohe, jam satis est!
"'Huc appelle!'—passengers, the word must be."
Long since, the boat was loaded to my eyes.
To hear the rabble and brabble, you'd call the case
Fused and confused past human finding out.
One calls the square round, t' other the round square—
And pardonably in that first surprise
O' the blood that fell and splashed the diagram:
But now we've used our eyes to the violent hue
Can't we look through the crimson and trace lines?
It makes a man despair of history,
Eusebius and the established fact—fig's end!
Oh, give the fools their Trial, rattle away
With the leash of lawyers, two on either side—
One barks, one bites,—Masters Arcangeli
And Spreti,—that's the husband's ultimate hope
Against the Fisc and the other kind of Fisc,
Bound to do barking for the wife: bow—wow!
Why, Excellency, we and his Highness here
Would settle the matter as sufficiently

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Eugene O'Neill

A Regular Sort of a Guy

He fights where the fighting is thickest
And keeps his high honor clean;
From finish to start, he is sturdy of heart,
Shunning the petty and mean;
With his friends in their travail and sorrow,
He is ever there to stand by,
And hark to their plea, for they all know that he
Is a regular sort of a guy.

He cheers up the sinner repentant
And sets him again on his feet;
He is there with a slap, and a pat on the back,
For the lowliest bum on the street;
He smiles when the going is hardest,
With a spirit no money can buy;
And take it from me, we all love him 'cause he
Is a regular sort of a guy.

I don't care for the praise of the nations,
Or a niche in the great hall of fame,
Or that posterity should remember me
When my dust and the dust are the same;
But my soul will be glad if my friends say
As they turn from my bier with a sigh
"Though he left no great name, yet he played out the game
Like a regular sort of a guy."

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The Great Stealth-burger Caper

A head cold had settled in with a vengeance.
After a couple of days at home I felt stir crazy.
Was it time to go somewhere, maybe a movie?

A quick glance at Arts & Entertainment section
and we made our choice of movies playing at our
favorite theater.

We jumped in the car and headed to the cinema.
“Haven’t eaten all day lets get a burger” I said.
“We dont have enough time to stop to eat, lets
get something at the theater” Laureen replied.

“Nope, too expensive and the food is crappy anyway.
Let’s get some burgers to go and sneak them into the theater”

“What? ” You know they dont let people take in food”
“Yeah, so they dont need to know, right? ”

We wheeled into “Cruisers” a 50’s throwback diner.
You know the kind with old pictures of Elvis and Marilyn,
hanging on the walls and black & white checkerboard floors.

Cruisers make great burgers cheap (volume...Over a zillion sold) .
Thin patties, shredded lettuce, onions, tomatoes, pickles
and fresh sesame buns. Burgers better than the guys
with the “Golden Arches” or “flame broiled” belly busters.

It was 30 minutes before show time, but we were in luck.
Things were going well because we arrived 15 minutes before noon.
The movie gods were with us…
Just as we placed our order, people started lining up behind us.

“Two regular burgers with the works and mustard dressing please”
“Want fries with your burgers”
“Nope” I said hurriedly.

Laureen placed her order,
“One regular burger with everything except onions and an order of fries.”
“Do you want curly, regular, tatter tots or steak fries? ”
“Uh, I’ll take the steak fries please”
“Anything to drink? ”
“No thanks, just a cup for water (she wasn’t about to let me drink from her water bottle) .
We looked at each other as we sat down holding
our plastic tent with a black number 3 on it.

“Uh, how are we going to smuggle in that much food”, laureen asked.
In your purse” I answered with a clueless grin on my face.
“Are you kidding, its already full and besides my water bottle is in it
I’ll put the water bottle in my back pocket”

[...] Read more

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Sell It And They Will Come

I fell asleep on the couch last night, woke up with the tv on.
There was a woman in tight cotton exercise shorts
And a big plastic machine she was climbing on.
She said "the abacycle guarantees ten inches off your waist,
And 50 pounds in just 3 minutes a day."
I went to bed knowing the revolution had been postponed
And everything was ok.
You can buy it, you can try it, go right ahead.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget the guys name but I know somebody must have said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.
I switched the channels and there was evel knievel, I thought that he was
Dead.
I found myself sitting there quietly, hanging on every word he said.
"now folks, the stimulator removes all pain from your life.
And the best day of your life will be when you try this little thing out."
The camera moved in as he said, "now let me tell you ladies and gentlemen,
Pain is something old evel knows a little about"
You can buy it, you can try it, thats what I said.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget that guys name but I know somebody must have said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.
And a fellow comes on shouting "free haircuts for life!",
Somehow you cut your hair with a vacuum cleaner.
And then I switched the channels and there was dionne warwick, communing
With her psychic friends.
I watched for hours, taking warmth, comfort,
And pleasure in the things that I despise.
Touched by how much they needed me, and that gleeful desperation in their
Eyes.
You can buy it, you can try it, itll help you in bed.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget that guys name but I know somebody said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.
So dionne, cher, and all my late-night friends, I drink to your health.
And tony little, americas personal trainer, please kill yourself.
Now Ive sold a few things myself in my time, and by the way folks,
Theres some t-shirts on your way outside.
Well last night I dreamed of lipstick and tight little cotton shorts
"harder, faster", she breathed.
"one, two, three, four, five"
Ride, sally ride, girl, ride sally ride.
You can buy it, you can try it, itll help you in bed.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget that guys name but somebody said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.

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Sell It & They Will Come

I fell asleep on the couch last night, woke up with the tv on.
There was a woman in tight cotton exercise shorts
And a big plastic machine she was climbing on.
She said the abacycle guarantees ten inches off your waist,
And 50 pounds in just 3 minutes a day.
I went to bed knowing the revolution had been postponed
And everything was ok.
You can buy it, you can try it, go right ahead.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget the guys name but I know somebody must have said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.
I switched the channels and there was evel knievel, I thought that he was
Dead.
I found myself sitting there quietly, hanging on every word he said.
Now folks, the stimulator removes all pain from your life.
And the best day of your life will be when you try this little thing out.
The camera moved in as he said, now let me tell you ladies and gentlemen,
Pain is something old evel knows a little about
You can buy it, you can try it, thats what I said.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget that guys name but I know somebody must have said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.
And a fellow comes on shouting free haircuts for life!,
Somehow you cut your hair with a vacuum cleaner.
And then I switched the channels and there was dionne warwick, communing
With her psychic friends.
I watched for hours, taking warmth, comfort,
And pleasure in the things that I despise.
Touched by how much they needed me, and that gleeful desperation in their
Eyes.
You can buy it, you can try it, itll help you in bed.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget that guys name but I know somebody said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.
So dionne, cher, and all my late-night friends, I drink to your health.
And tony little, americas personal trainer, please kill yourself.
Now Ive sold a few things myself in my time, and by the way folks,
Theres some t-shirts on your way outside.
Well last night I dreamed of lipstick and tight little cotton shorts
Harder, faster, she breathed.
One, two, three, four, five
Ride, sally ride, girl, ride sally ride.
You can buy it, you can try it, itll help you in bed.
But dont be fooled folks, theres only one.
I forget that guys name but somebody said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.

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At Least

Oh, hmm oh yeah, hmm, hmm, hmm
I'm on way back to Atlanta
About to start a new life
Cause I can't take it here
It seems the more we fight
The more the pressure
I'm in this lonely house
Sitting high up on a hill
Pressin' the buttons on the control
Flipping through channels on TV
Wondering when you're coming home
And take care of family
At least you can call and say I'm busy
At least you can say I'm running late
At least you can give some kind of notice
Let somebody know that you're okay
At least you can take some time to phone
At least you can just one day stay home
At least you can take me out to me
If you love me, you would've done those things
You won't miss me till I'm gone
Impossible to drink from a well that's gone dry, yeah
And every night you come in singing the same old song
How could you do me wrong?
When you know it ain't right
Pressin' the buttons on the control
Flipping through channels on TV
Wondering when you're coming home
And take care of family
At least you can call and say I'm busy
At least you can say I'm running late
At least you can give some kind of notice
Let somebody know that you're okay
At least you can take some time to phone
At least you can just one day stay home
At least you can take me out to me
If you love me, you would've done those things
Take in a movie show, a carnival
A place to go, we can be alone
But instead I'm staring at these matching walls
The weekends spent, a compliment
Flowers sent would've kept me at home
But now instead I'm packing my bags and I'm gone
At least you can call and say I'm busy
At least you can say I'm running late
At least you can give some kind of notice
Let somebody know that you're okay
At least you can take some time to phone
At least you can just one day stay home
At least you can take me out to me

[...] Read more

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At Least (The Little Things)

Oh, hmm oh yeah, hmm, hmm, hmm
I'm on my way back to Atlanta
About to start a new life
Cause' I can't take it here
It seems like the more we fight
The more pressure
I'm in this lonely house
Sitting high up on a hill
Pressin' the buttons on the control
Flipping through channels on T.V.
Wondering when you're coming home
And take care of family
At least you can call and say I'm busy
At least you can say I'm running late
At least you can give some kind of notice
Let somebody know that you're okay
At least you can take some time to phone
At least you can just one day stay home
At least you can take me out to eat
If you love me, you would've done those things
You won't miss me til' I'm gone
Impossible to drink from a well that's gone dry, yeah
And every night you come in singing the same old song
How could you do me wrong?
When you know it ain't right
Pressing the buttons on the control
Flipping through channels on T.V.
Wondering when you're coming home
And take care of family
At least you can call and say I'm busy
At least you can say I'm running late
At least you can give some kind of notice
Let somebody know that you're okay
At least you can take some time to phone
At least you can just one day stay home
At least you can take me out to eat
If you love me would've done those things
Take in a movie show, a carnival
A place to go, we can be alone
But instead I'm staring at these matching walls
The weekends spent, a compliment
Flowers sent would've kept me at home
But now instead I'm packing my bags and I'm gone
At least you can call and say Ic1

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Poetry And Prose

I ain't one for poetry, aint' one for prose. Ain't one for the scent of a sping-time rose.
But the is one face that I do know, I sure get a kick out of that Beavis and Butt-head show.
Other day I turn my TV on, and guess what I do see?
Two crazy-ass cartoon sunsabitches staring on back at me.
Said "What the hell's this", and Ler said "Boy, dont' you know?"
The whole world's gone crazy over that there Beavis and Butt-head show.
Talk about couch fishing, now I could go for that.
I could go for frog baseball, but I be inclined to use a cat!
On Comedy, I'm a stooges man. I like Larry, Curly and Moe.
But now and then a get a chuckle watchin' the Beavis and Butt-head show.
Stone-Temple Pearlvana Chain, now there's a helluva band.
They got that original sound that's sweepin' 'cross the land.
Ain't no ZZ Top though, now that's the band for me.
If I had my way MTV'd play just them and AC/DC.
I ain't nothing special, I'm your average kinda man.
I like a frosted barley pop and I drink 'em outta the can!
I don't give a rat's ass about poetry and not a damn 'bout prose.
I sure get a kick outta them Beavis and Butt-head shows.
Butthead: "Hey Beavis..."
Beavis: "What?"
Butthead: "I was just like...thinking and stuff...it was pretty cool."
Beavis: "Yeah, I'm gonna try that."
Butthead: "TV is cool..."
Beavis: "Yeah, yeah, TV rules....it rules! Yeah..."
Butthead: "Hey Beavis...I heard that pretty soon, they're gonna have, like, 500 channels.
That's gonna be cool."
Beavis: "Really? That would be cool."
Butthead: "You know what would be really cool, though? If like, one of the channels didn't suck."
Beavis: "Yeah, but, like, if one of them didn't suck, why would you need the other...um...
three hundred and twenty-seven?"
Butthead: "Because, you know all those TV shows that suck? It's like, you gotta put them
somewhere! You can't put 'em on the cool channel!"
Beavis: "Yeah, yeah! They should call it the cool channel!

song performed by PrimusReport problemRelated quotes
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Poetry & Prose

I aint one for poetry, aint one for prose. aint one for the scent of a sping-time rose.
But the is one face that I do know, I sure get a kick out of that beavis and butt-head show.
Other day I turn my tv on, and guess what I do see?
Two crazy-ass cartoon sunsabitches staring on back at me.
Said what the hells this, and ler said boy, dont you know?
The whole worlds gone crazy over that there beavis and butt-head show.
Talk about couch fishing, now I could go for that.
I could go for frog baseball, but I be inclined to use a cat!
On comedy, Im a stooges man. I like larry, curly and moe.
But now and then a get a chuckle watchin the beavis and butt-head show.
Stone-temple pearlvana chain, now theres a helluva band.
They got that original sound thats sweepin cross the land.
Aint no zz top though, now thats the band for me.
If I had my way mtvd play just them and ac/dc.
I aint nothing special, Im your average kinda man.
I like a frosted barley pop and I drink em outta the can!
I dont give a rats ass about poetry and not a damn bout prose.
I sure get a kick outta them beavis and butt-head shows.
Butthead: hey beavis...
Beavis: what?
Butthead: I was just like...thinking and stuff...it was pretty cool.
Beavis: yeah, Im gonna try that.
Butthead: tv is cool...
Beavis: yeah, yeah, tv rules....it rules! yeah...
Butthead: hey beavis...i heard that pretty soon, theyre gonna have, like, 500 channels.
Thats gonna be cool.
Beavis: really? that would be cool.
Butthead: you know what would be really cool, though? if like, one of the channels didnt suck.
Beavis: yeah, but, like, if one of them didnt suck, why would you need the other...um...
Three hundred and twenty-seven?
Butthead: because, you know all those tv shows that suck? its like, you gotta put them
Somewhere! you cant put em on the cool channel!
Beavis: yeah, yeah! they should call it the cool channel!

song performed by PrimusReport problemRelated quotes
Added by Lucian Velea
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Stream Line Consciousness

Big brother voyeur blimps unidentified spies
uncle sam peeping toms patrolling skies
bird brain police intelligence
remote viewing homeland pest control
pentagon private eye monitoring the public's every move
mass produced micro chips intercepting prayers patrolling citizens from heaven
Bentham's Panopticon NSA
super computer surveillance cameras
world police spying Manhattan streets

'Athens plummets Euro death spiral
suicide rates soar deepening into despair'

haaretz..the post.. the times
blogs tribunes dailies all in a mad gab
headlong headline attention grabbing scramble

'Yugoslavia - Iraq - Egypt - Yemen - Iran - Syria - United States'
bilderberg building blocks New American Century post apocalyptic prophecy

'foreign mercenaries …national guard...DOD
homeland security to amass covert munitions stockpile
Americans on guard anxieties mounting surrounding
the stripping of amendments 1st if you swing to your left
2nd if you stand on the right
whispers of martial law circulate Anarchical reverberations
emanate from internet Alt culture epicenters
bottle necking global tensions'

'common feeling of deepening disappointment...
heightened expectations...
people expecting an explosive situation over the
next few weeks'

...riot police respond 'to preserve public order'
public roads barricaded to 'protect security of citizens'

'blatant act of censorship
western mainstream media staying away
from Myanmar massacres of Mohammedan Angels
further showing strong anti Muslim bias'

'Media blackout Burmese army
seeking coverage under propaganda blankets'

from the middle east throughout the western world
planet consciousness blurring lines between conspiracy/reality
conflicting global network narratives multiply violent scenarios daily
Victims in a world wide scramble
Government Banking Military

[...] Read more

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Trees

whenever the lustre of my amber glistens,
i could feel the price it had exacted on the trees,
blood red tears meandering rough and uneven tracks
to land where they were kept like a child for a million years

they emerge to fascinate us with coruscating tales
of the romances with time, lost on the memory of men,
the dinosaurs, the first forests, the insects -
which now sparkle with such subtlety - they draw us
to the heart of their very existence, the million
years in the now, solidified, and now dangling right
at the door to the heart, our bossom

the trees, the trees, so many of them
standing tall and proud, as if broadcasting to us
if they had not been around, creation
would have been at a standstill

the trees, the trees, they fuel the world
a panacea to foibles rolled into one tall order, -
so that our cars run, our kitchen cooks, our umbrella works,
the news reach us handsomely wrapped, the chopsticks
to pick our food, the clogs to walk and rattle autumn,
the medicine to heal our rebellious body, fruits for
the seasons, the table for us to write on and a cosy
space for the dead to dream on

when they stand in a fusion at the break of dawn
it feels one has stumbled upon a meditative realm
of the highest kind - the orchestra blasting away
in them permeates every hidden place - they only help
to enhance that robustness and promises of the day
the sun channels its recuperative light - leaves that dance,
filter the music and the essence of the day

trees, trees.... abodes of birds, animals, they tell
on the weather, sing the storm before it approaches
and whistles to us fine spring tunes

trees trees standing so tall, majestic affording
a luxuriance to cool ourselves as we brood over
our destiny - trees our only saviours as the earth
climbs the mercury ever ready to send us
into obivion in a spinning fiery hot cauldron

second version:


whenever the lustre of my amber
glistens, i could feel the price

[...] Read more

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