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I'm an immigrant and I've always wanted to write something about America.

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I always wanted to write something illustrated, and the Details strip finally gave me the opportunity.

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I Always Wanted

I always wanted
To be something
But didn't know what
Now that I am older
I realize
All I ever wanted
Is to be me
For me is
The best that I
Can be

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Life and the world filled my heart

How do you
put your life to paper
and where do you begin,
to catch a life into symbols.

I wanted to write something
about myself in a poem,
but life and the world
around me filled my heart.

If I look at the contrasts of life,
I wonder how near the earth
is to its end.

Who but Him
who is the creator and redeemer
and him
that rises from the abyss
are really good and really bad.

And who knows
what’s happening in our old world,
but Him who is beyond our comprehension.

Somewhere a child laughed
and another was crying
and I wanted to hide,
somewhere away from it all.

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My God Is Great And Kind To Me And He Is Always With Me

My GOD is great and kind to me and He is always with me
My GOD solved all the difficult and danger problems of my life,
My GOD is the best well-wisher of me in my every walk of life,
Some times I pray to my Almighty GOD and some times I forget Him,
But My GOD never forgot me and helped me in my bad position,
I have suffered a lot to cross many difficulties of my life,
Whenever I am in a risk of my life, my GOD gave me immediate solution,
Except my GOD none will help me in my any unfit condition,
Many times in my life my enemies wanted to harm me,
By the grace of my Almighty GOD I have been rescued all the times,
I live in the LOVE of my GOD and I too die in the same LOVE,
My GOD is very merciful and He must surely pardon my all crimes,
If I think of my GOD my all worries will automatically go away,
I am lucky to see my GOD with my minds” eye in a mysterious way.

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A Christmas To Cherish And To Remember Always.

Christmas is the time to celebrate
precious memories with loved
ones,
Family and friends sit in front of
the fire place,
The scent of firewood burning,
Gives the house that fresh Christmas
smell,
We Feel the warmth through out
the house,
Making it cozy and relaxing,
Stockings hung up above the fire
place,
soon to be filled with toys big
and small,
Names written on each stocking,
colorfully laced and decorated,
We share old memories of how
things were in our childhood days,
Sipping and savoring every taste of
warm hot chocolate,
Christmas tree decorated from top to
bottom,
Lights twinkle, giving the Christmas
tree a magical look,
Christmas photos on the wall,
Christmas decoration surround us,
We have walked into a Christmas
house filled with holiday cheers,
And a Christmas wreath to fill the
guests with a cheerful greeting,
The scent of ginger bread cookies,
the aroma of cinnamon candles to
delight the guests,
This is a joyful and happy time of
the year,
A Christmas to cherish and to remember
always.

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Me and Laughter Together Always

Sometimes I laugh out loud
Showing you that I could care less what you have to say
All that matters is that my feelings are hidden
Hiding from those who judge me and those who love me
And Laughter helps me do just that
Laughter is my better half
Laughter stands with me when Im bored
Laughter comforts me when I want to cry
He keeps me company through grief and through happiness
For better or worse, in sickness and health, through thick and thin
I love Laughter and Laughter loves me back
And yet you don’t know why Laughter makes Me
Look deep into my eyes when I laugh and you’ll see
You will find all the hate, all the pain, and all the hurt
But if that’s all you see
You’re not looking deep enough
Look past the tears that I won’t allow to flow
Look past the memories that I can’t let go of
And when you see through all the hate, all the pain and all the hurt
You'll find Me
I cover Me up with Laughter
There are none who can see the true Me
They can’t see through my Laughter
And if you should happen to see Me
I won’t need Laughter to hide anymore
Because I can cry on your shoulder
I can smile and enjoy you company without a single sound
Only then, Laughter won’t be my protector
Until then, it’s Me and Laughter together always
I hide my feelings through Laughter
So if you’re trying to figure out what Im thinking,
Laugh with me and you will then see...-Me

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Love And Peace For Always!

While there are stars that shine on high
At night when day is done,
Remember God who made that sky
And named stars one-by-one...
While there are worlds beyond this Earth,
With new worlds being born,
Remember God still knows your worth,
So please don't feel forlorn...

While there are rainbows now and then
That span from left-to-right,
Remember God gave sight to men
That we might know delight...
While there are eagles gliding past
And doves that bill and coo,
Remember God whose love is vast,
For He says, 'I love you! '

While you aren't perfect, know this truth,
Forgiveness can be yours,
Remember God provides the proof
With Heaven's open doors...
While He awaits your precious prayers
That honour Jesus' Name,
Remember God declares He cares,
Forever more the same...

While sweet romance is born of dance
And music by the score,
Remember God can still enhance
Each chance for sweet amour...
While you may feel life's let you down
And shattered all your schemes,
Remember God will melt each frown
As you succumb to dreams...

While there's a Heaven to be gained
With angels all around,
Remember God has yet ordained
Lost souls can still be found...
While pardon's there, so highly prized,
Through all nights and all days,
Remember God and Jesus Christ!
Always! Always! Always!


Denis Martindale, copyright, February 2012.

We can hear the word of the Lord on
Revelation TV on UK Sky Digital 581
as well as the WATCH NOW link on
the revelationtv-dot-com website...

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Always Wanted

Your love I always wanted and your love was also my dream. See, you were the light of my life. How can I say that you were not sweet to me? You were so loving to me and I can never thank you enough. The sweet angel you were who gave me so much of love. Thinking of you is something which I often do sometimes although my love will never be sufficient for you. Someone else you love and some other person you care about more than you ever did for me. Love, I feel for you although how can I even think of you?

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What You Always Wanted

Sometimes you want something
and you work hard to get it.
Thinking it will change your life forever
into something better than it is.
Finally, you get what you want,
that dream has finally come true
and you then become something you never wanted to be.
You then begin to wonder
if you wanted it at all.
Self-doubt creeps into your mind
and starts torturing you,
but you cannot go back out now.
You have what you always wanted
like it or not.
You have to live with it
for better or for worse.


21 November 2008

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Just Like Silly André I Always Wanted To Be

Just like silly André I always wanted to be,
who was bold and straight with his number three haircut
that at times was blown skew
when he knocked at our backdoor,
and we in mischief
had to lookout for the principal
when he wanted to catch us in his peach orchard
and André continually played him the fool,

he sometimes setoff matchbox-bombs
while we stayed away from class.
I read 'the phantom' and he 'the horseman in black'
and we disappeared into the hillocks and bushes
until the stars appeared,
without the chaos that today is present
we were without fear,
just like silly André I always wanted to be.

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Do And Be You

Going through the motions,
As if programmed to impress...
With nothing left but an emptiness,
Only a felt loneliness can address...
Is less than living one's life,
Confessing a happiness lived.

Do what is loved.
Do what is liked.
Do and be you!
Sleep nights.
And have no regrets,
Of having to stretch that last dollar.

Think about it.
There are those wishing they had peace of mind.
And they have surrounded themselves with things.
With the hope that these 'things' will bring them,
A feeling of a sense of accomplishment!
And nothing done reflects anything that came,
From their own creativity to express.
And things will never bring one contentment.
Only a documentation to prove time spent,
Doing something for someone else paid the rent.

Do what is loved.
Do what is liked.
Do and be you!
Sleep nights.
And have no regrets,
Of having to stretch that last dollar.

Your worth is invaluable.
And if that is known...
Your abundance will always be obtained.
Since priceless is your presence.
And someone is always going to want...
Something deemed and thought of as precious.

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I Have Always Wanted to Write You One, Sorry it Took so Long to Find My Inspiration...Hey That Rhymes!

Written: October 12,2011

Since we were born, I think we were meant to be
The best of friends we were and are, nothing ever came between
Sharing came easy to us, for our parents to see
To be honest, you were never evil or mad and definitely not mean

As the years went past, taller and taller we grew
You were taller for a while then, but I won as we always knew
Our competitions became more elaborate, you were smart I athletic
Although, I think my writing skills are better but my handwriting still pathetic

Look at our accomplishments now, past President of HICAP and me an ex-Captain
Both black belts and teachers in the makin’
We have shown courage, endurance, tolerance, and loyalty
Which is seen in our friends to whom we never forsaken

I know in the future, with no doubt in my mind
No matter what happens we will be at each others side
We have seen each other struggle and fought through with out rest
For me it was to be like you who always was clearly the best

I never told you who my heros are, especially who they are today
It is you, Mom, and Dad. And Mike Piazza, when the field was called Shea
I have always looked up to you, literally and metaphorically
And I have never want to leave you, or have you go away


In the best way that I can
In the best way like no other
Happy Birthday Meg
from your Little Brother

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And You Don’t Remember Me

I sat on the park bench
pen and notebook in hand.
I watched all the people
as they passed on by.
I wondered how in life
each one of them had fared
with their happiness
and their sorrows.
I looked for inspiration
for something to write.

She looked at me and smiled,
I smiled back
thinking that was that.
“You don’t remember me? ”
She said and sat down.
I looked at her again
as memories swirled
around in my mind.
She was right
I didn’t remember her

Her hair was mousey colour
with flecks of grey
starting to appear here and there.
There were thick lines
across her forehead,
crow feet lines
near the corners of her eyes.
The corners of her mouth
drooped just slightly.

Her blues eyes were striking
and I knew I had seen them before,
but they were with a younger face
a long time ago.
A face that lit up
whenever she spoke.
“You still don’t remember me? ”
She asked once again.

I shook my head,
but unfortunately, I did.
I could remember
all the beauty
she had had in her youth,
before time had ravaged her
and taken away her beauty
and her youth.
She looked so sad.

I wanted to reach out
like I always wanted to,
but something deep inside,
a little voice you could call it,
kept telling me no.
My urge to hold her
was trying to win out,
but I couldn’t do it.
She was no longer
a part of my life.

All she was now
was a memory I clung to,
a memory of my youth
so long, long ago.
With notebook and pen,
I smiled and bit her farewell.
I whispered her name
as I said a last goodbye.
I didn’t look back
or I would have looked back with regret.
She was a past,
something none of us can ever relive.

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Always Wanted To Wear Your Shoes

o sister o sister

my beautiful and powerful big sister;

i wish i knew you like i once did

o sister o sister

my wise and worldly big sister;

i wish i knew the remedy for what has rent itself between us

a thousand hateful things i've said to you;

wish i knew how to soften those words

I don't know what you mean by formal, not sure how to be formal

I miss you

and dare I say you were right in many ways

are there amends for my intolerance of your menopause

which is when know that things began to really fall apart

and now, as i swallow black cohosh capsules

and find myself yet again in a back against the wall situation;

i'm wishing i'd ever learned to do things like you

learned to make the best of things,

find and develop my own creative spark

& now there is no you to run to

and i've yet again made choices without a backup plan.

this seems to have become the pattern of my life

never really finishing anything

testing the waters here and there

often trying to live up to you

there were times when i wished u were my mother

and even felt u were

and now as tears begin to well

i can't help wanting to reverse the clock

though I'm I'd just react the same way

so many little moments come flooding in

I sat,8ish months pregnant, at my midwife visit

staring at words on a memo she'd held in her hand

sister called, requests that we urge mother to consider adoption,

doesn't think she can handle motherhood

or is ready for mother hood

I don't remember the exact words.

I numbly said no, I didn't want adoption info

feeling very sad

feeling somehow rejected

and so it seems I couldn't handle motherhood

one of those midwives asked me, later, on my 6 week visit

'Are you starting to adjust to motherhood? '

What?

F*** no! I don't know what that means.

but i said neither, wanly exhaustedly said, yes.

no further questions.

And 12 years later, I've still not adjusted

and that doesn't mean I am not madly in love with my son.

But I know you know that

sister.

My heart feels so lost and yet there are moments

when I feel more powerful than I ever have.

I still keep feeling like I'm struggling to live up to you

still see your face when someone speaks of heroes

though I despise the word – and perhaps i've lived the reason why

I see other faces but yours the brightest

if not of late only because of my bitter anger

my self torturing sense of betrayal

just my feelings - not necessarily truth

Im sorry that I always wanted to be you

so much maybe that I even wanted to stamp you out.


©December 2008

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I just play, and I'm always trying to write songs.

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We have always wanted to write songs and be experimental in that way.

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Pixie Lott

I always prefer to write songs about emotional situations and heartbreak.

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Ryan Phillippe

I have three sisters and I've always wanted a brother, so I was really interested in that notion.

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