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I interviewed Johnny Knoxville once. I was kind of scared to interview him because I thought he might be a real jerk, but he was really nice, and I ripped his chest hair out.

quote by Rachel Perry
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The Idiot Boy

'Tis eight o'clock,--a clear March night,
The moon is up,--the sky is blue,
The owlet, in the moonlight air,
Shouts from nobody knows where;
He lengthens out his lonely shout,
Halloo! halloo! a long halloo!

--Why bustle thus about your door,
What means this bustle, Betty Foy?
Why are you in this mighty fret?
And why on horseback have you set
Him whom you love, your Idiot Boy?

Scarcely a soul is out of bed;
Good Betty, put him down again;
His lips with joy they burr at you;
But, Betty! what has he to do
With stirrup, saddle, or with rein?

But Betty's bent on her intent;
For her good neighbour, Susan Gale,
Old Susan, she who dwells alone,
Is sick, and makes a piteous moan
As if her very life would fail.

There's not a house within a mile,
No hand to help them in distress;
Old Susan lies a-bed in pain,
And sorely puzzled are the twain,
For what she ails they cannot guess.

And Betty's husband's at the wood,
Where by the week he doth abide,
A woodman in the distant vale;
There's none to help poor Susan Gale;
What must be done? what will betide?

And Betty from the lane has fetched
Her Pony, that is mild and good;
Whether he be in joy or pain,
Feeding at will along the lane,
Or bringing faggots from the wood.

And he is all in travelling trim,--
And, by the moonlight, Betty Foy
Has on the well-girt saddle set
(The like was never heard of yet)
Him whom she loves, her Idiot Boy.

And he must post without delay

[...] Read more

poem by William Wordsworth
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Johnny Dont Do It

Johnny dont do it
Johnny dont do it
Johnny dont do it
Johnny dont do it
Johnny was an angel
An angel dressed in black
He used to hang around the guys
Down at the local track
He tried so hard to join them
But they always turned him back
Johnny dont do it
He was an angel
Johnny dont do it
Such an angel
He was only 17
Just got out of school
He stole a bike from joes garage
To prove that he was cool
He didnt know that the brakes were worn
And fate can be so cruel
Johnny dont do it
He was an angel
Johnny dont do it
Such an angel
Johnny dont do it
Johnny dont do it
Johnny dont do it
Johnny dont do it
Well johnny went a riding
With his girlfriend on the back seat
Looking for some action
And they found it down a back street
Suddenly a truck pulled out
He tried to step on the brake
Johnny dont do it (here is a news flash)
Johnny dont do it (today, johnny kowalski, also known as johnny
Angel)
Johnny dont do it (and his young fiance francine, were tragically
Killed)
Johnny dont do it (in a cycle accident)
Dont do it, dont do it (any witnesses please contact)
Dont do it, dont do it (the police at precinct 29)
Now johnnys with the angels
The angels in the sky
I wonder if he thinks of us
As he goes riding by
If only had listened
Oh the number of times we tried
To tell him
Johnny dont do it

[...] Read more

song performed by 10 Cc
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I Better Be Good

If I ain't cool
My daddy gonna send me
To Military School
If I ain't nice
My girlie gonna freeze me
With cold shoulder ice
If I'm real late
My teacher gonna use me
For alligator bait
So, I better be good
I better be good
If I jump on the gas
The cops are gonna jump
All over my back
If I smoke too much
Doctor says he's gonna
Put my lungs in a crutch
If I'm caught without my pants
Consuelo's dad is gonna shoot
Until he sees me dance
So, I better be good
I had better be good
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - Uh, uh, uh, uh
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
You better be nice tonight
If I spray it on the seat
Lady gonna tie a big knot
In the meat
If I spewey too fast
Lover's gonna stick
My Wrangler in a cast
If zipper grabs skin
I'll know I had it out
When I shoulda kept it in
Ow.
I better be good
I better be good
I better be good
Ooh.
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice

[...] Read more

song performed by Alice Cooper
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Johnny Cant Read

Johnny cant read
Football, baseball, basket ball games
Drinkin bear, kickin ass and takin down names
With the top down, get-a-round, shootin the line
Summer is here and johnnys feelin fine
But johnny cant read
Summer is over and hes gone to seed
Johnny cant read
He never learned nothin that hell ever need
Well, johnny can dance and johnny can love
Johnny can push and johnny can shove
Johnny can hang out; johnny can talk tough
Johnny can get down and johnny can throw up
But johnny cant read
Summer is over and hes gone to seed
(you know that), johnny cant read
He never learned nothin that hell ever need
Well, is it teachers fault? oh no!
Is it mommys fault? oh no!
Is it societys fault? oh no!
Well is it johnnys fault? ohhhhh nooooo!
Couple years later, johnnys on the run
Johnny got confused and he bought himself a gun
Well, he went and did something that he shouldnt
Oughta done
F.b.i. on his tail
Use a gun-go to jail
But johnny cant read
Summer is over and hes gone to seed
(you know that), johnny cant read
He never learned nothin that hell ever need
Well is is teachers fault? oh no
Is it mommies fault? oh no
Is it the presidents fault? oh no
Well is it johnnys fault? ohhhhh nooooo!
Johnny can dance and johnny can love
Johnny can push and johnny can shove
Johnny can pinball; johnny can talk tough
Johnny can get down and johnny can throw up
Well, recess is over
Recess is over!
Sitcoms, t.&a.
Johnnys mind is blown away
Cop shows, horror flicks
Johnnys brain is full of bricks
Rock show, video
Boob tube, rubiks cube
Game fools, sunday school
Gain fans(? ), gobble gangs(? )
Wonka wonka wonka

[...] Read more

song performed by Don Henley
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Roan Stallion

The dog barked; then the woman stood in the doorway, and hearing
iron strike stone down the steep road
Covered her head with a black shawl and entered the light rain;
she stood at the turn of the road.
A nobly formed woman; erect and strong as a new tower; the
features stolid and dark
But sculptured into a strong grace; straight nose with a high bridge,
firm and wide eyes, full chin,
Red lips; she was only a fourth part Indian; a Scottish sailor had
planted her in young native earth,
Spanish and Indian, twenty-one years before. He had named her
California when she was born;
That was her name; and had gone north.
She heard the hooves and
wheels come nearer, up the steep road.
The buckskin mare, leaning against the breastpiece, plodded into
sight round the wet bank.
The pale face of the driver followed; the burnt-out eyes; they had
fortune in them. He sat twisted
On the seat of the old buggy, leading a second horse by a long
halter, a roan, a big one,
That stepped daintily; by the swell of the neck, a stallion. 'What
have you got, Johnny?' 'Maskerel's stallion.
Mine now. I won him last night, I had very good luck.' He was
quite drunk, 'They bring their mares up here now.
I keep this fellow. I got money besides, but I'll not show you.'
'Did you buy something, Johnny,
For our Christine? Christmas comes in two days, Johnny.' 'By
God, forgot,' he answered laughing.
'Don't tell Christine it's Christmas; after while I get her something,
maybe.' But California:
'I shared your luck when you lost: you lost me once, Johnny, remember?
Tom Dell had me two nights
Here in the house: other times we've gone hungry: now that
you've won, Christine will have her Christmas.
We share your luck, Johnny. You give me money, I go down to
Monterey to-morrow,
Buy presents for Christine, come back in the evening. Next day
Christmas.' 'You have wet ride,' he answered
Giggling. 'Here money. Five dollar; ten; twelve dollar. You
buy two bottles of rye whiskey for Johnny.'
A11 right. I go to-morrow.'
He was an outcast Hollander; not
old, but shriveled with bad living.
The child Christine inherited from his race blue eyes, from his
life a wizened forehead; she watched
From the house-door her father lurch out of the buggy and lead
with due respect the stallion
To the new corral, the strong one; leaving the wearily breathing
buckskin mare to his wife to unharness.

[...] Read more

poem by Robinson Jeffers
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Heres Johnny

Heres johnny
There he goes, he drives me crazy
When he says...(hee-eeres johnny!)
Thats his job, its so amazing
All he says is...(hee-eeres johnny!)
I never miss a moment when hes on the tube
His being there has made my life worth living
The chills run down my spine
Each time he says that line
Heres johnny! he says, and laughs in his special way
...johnny! he says, you know I love him
Heres johnny! he says, and second fiddle is his game
Ed mcmahons his name...all right
Dressed so fine, hes such a cool dude
Hear him say...(hee-eeres johnny!)
Watch him selling beer and dog food
Hear him say...(hee-eeres johnny!)
I got a letter from him just the other day
He said, you may already be a winner!
A trooper to the end
A clydesdales best friend
Heres johnny! he says, and laughs in his special way
...johnny! he says, you know I love him
Heres johnny! he says, and thats the way he gets his pay
What a living
Oh...(heres johnny! heres johnny!) wo-o-o, no
(heres johnny! heres johnny!) no no no no no no, I dont believe it
(heres johnny!) he says, and everytime its just the same
Ed mcmahons his name
A very special guy...all right
Hes on every night
Cant change the channel
When hes sitting on the panel
(hee-eeres johnny!)
There he goes, he gives me goose bumps
When he says...(hey-o-hey-hey-o!)
Heres johnny! he says, and laughs in his special way
...johnny! he says, you know I love him
Heres johnny! he says, that seems to be his claim to fame
Ed mcmahons his name

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Johnny went to Hollywood

Johnny went to Hollywood
Said he’s gonna be a star
Things didn’t turn out so good
Johnny’s livin’ in his car

You shoulda seen him at the prom back in high school
You woulda bet he’s gonna be a star
Dancin’ with the queen with his tux and his crown on
Now Johnny’s livin’ in his car
Poor Johnny poor Johnny

He played Bo Decker when the senior class did “Bus Stop”
He had the junior girls all in a rage
Lookin’ like James Dean in a leather coat and t-shirt
You’da sworn that Johnny was born for the stage
Go Johnny! Go Johnny!

Johnny went to Hollywood
Said he’s gonna be a star
Things didn’t turn out so good
Johnny’s livin’ in his car
Poor Johnny, poor Johnny

He nearly got himself a diet Coke commercial
But they said he didn’t fit the part
Now he plays a waiter in a small café downtown
The way he says, “What will you have? ” is such an art!
Go Johnny! Go Johnny!

Johnny went to Hollywood
Said he’s gonna be a star
Things didn’t turn out so good
Johnny’s livin’ in his car
Poor Johnny, poor Johnny

poem by KMC Centlivre
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Johnny B. Goode

Deep down in louisianna
Close to new orleans,
Way back up in the woods
Among the evergreens,
There stand a country cabin
Made of clay and wood,
Where lives a young country boy
Named johnny b.goode,
He never ever learned
To read or write a book so well,
But he could play his guitar
Just like a-ringing a bell.
Go go, go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Aah johnny b.goode!
He used to carry his guitar
In a gunny sack,
Sit beneath the trees
By the railroad track.
Oh sitting and a-playing
In the shade,
Drumming to the rhythm
That the drivers made.
People passing by
Used to stop and say:
My oh my,
That country boy can play.
Go go, go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Aah johnny b.goode!
Well his mama told him:
Someday you will be a man.
And you will be the leader
Of a big old band.
Many people coming
From miles around,
To hear you play your music
Till the sun goes down.
Maybe some day
Your name will be in light,
Saying: johnny
B. goode tonight!
Go go, go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!
Go johnny go go go!

[...] Read more

song performed by Beatles
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Johnny B. Goode

This song was first released on the john denver album. it is the only album it has been released on.
Way down in louisiana close to new orleans
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens
There stood a log cabin mad of earth and wood
Where lived a country boy name of johnny b. goode
He never ever learned to read or write so well
But he could play a guitar just like a-ringin' a bell
Go, go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny go
Go johnny b. goode
He used to carry his guitar in a gunny sack
Go sit beneath the tree by the railroad track
The engineers would see him sittin' in the shade
Strummin' to the rhythm that the drivers made
People passing by would they would stop and say
Oh my but that little country boy can play
Go, go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny go
Go, go, go johnny go
Go, go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny b. goode
Well his mama told him some day you will be a man
You will be the leader of a big old band
Many people comin' from miles around
Just to hear you play your music till the sun go down
Maybe some day your name will be in lights
Sayin' johnny b. goode tonight
Go, go, go, go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny go
Go, go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny go
Go, go johnny b. goode
Words and music by chuck berry

song performed by John Denver
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Hairy Woes

(This not a poem. One day I thought whether I could write about hair problems and this is what I could come up with. Have a good hair day.)

Oh all the balding men of the world! Neither split your hair nor let your hair down; instead, get up to fight against hair experts and hair industries because, you have nothing to loss except hairs, which you are already losing anyway.

The scientific study published in, 'International Journal of Fake Studies', has proven beyond doubt that, all kinds of hairs and particularly black hairs, absorb sun light and thus indirectly contribute to the global warming whereas, shining bald pates reflect sun light back into the atmosphere, thus help to make earth’s climate cool. So taking these facts in account, bald persons should be given the tax rebate in form of carbon credits whereas, high taxation should be levied on persons with hair for leaving carbon footprints behind.

It is true my friend, that you are paying the tax as well as losing your hair, but try to imagine a plight of less fortunate ones, who neither earn enough money to pay the tax nor have enough hair to loss.

'Son! Why do you worry about your hair problems; get me mustards seeds from the home, that doesn't have hair problems', thus spake enlightened sage, hearing which young man became calm.

The biggest cause of hair fall, dandruff and other hair related problems is existence of hair.

No person with hair on his head, can solve all your hair problems, neither can the person without hair.

As, not all the armies of the world, can stop the idea whose time has come so, not all the hair experts can stem the progress of baldness, whose time has come.

Only two things are universal, hair problems and human stupidity, but I have doubt about former, thus spake Einstein of hair science.

Not all the trichologists, dermatologists and hair experts together, armed with shampoos, hair oils, hair dyes and herbal ointments can cure all the hair ailments, as long as hairs are there.

As long as hairs are there, there are going to be hair problems, similarly as long as shrinks are there, there are going to be mental problems.

The hair industry expands their business by perpetuating the two myths, first is there are more hair at unwanted place and other is, there are less hair at desired place.

Hair here, hair there, hair everywhere similarly: problem here, problem there, problem everywhere.

He fell in love with her hair and married the whole girl, soon he was without hair.

In early part of his life man losses his hair to earn money then he uses same money to gain hair back.

Don't bask in a glory of the hair, you used to have in past, instead tell me, do you have gorgeous hair now?

There is some truth in a myth that the bald men are fortunate; to begin with, they don't have to spend their fortune on comb, hair products, hair cuts and last but not least girls.

There are more blondes on streets of India than women of the rest of the world put together; thanks to Garnier. Take Care.

White hair is nothing but a flag hoisted by a tired life, signaling armistice with hostile time, which eventually leads to surrender to the death.

Blessed are the monks who shave their hair themselves, a symbol of a vanity of the world, because nature is going to destroy that vanity eventually anyhow.

Oh Sinner! Vain is your attempt to hide your sins, for sins will shine in your life as bald pate shines through the sparse tufts of hair.

It is irony that the monks who do not care for their hair often have beautiful and luxuriant hair.

Trees are nothing but hair of Gaia, the earth; if you destroy, them then earth too would take her revenge by creating conditions, that won't allow the hair to stay on your crown.

More often than not, one owns heir are responsible for one owns hair fall.

If you cannot prevent hair fall, enjoy it.

[...] Read more

poem by Hitesh Sheth
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Look Out Johnny

(sylvester / clarke / hicks)
Johnny was a pusher on the east side
Pushing anything to be pushed
Laid something on a guy who didn't get high
Didn't know the guy was a hood
Wheeling-dealing johnny got frightened
Thought the best place was out of town
Packed up his bags and threw them in the back
Packed up his bags and threw them in the back
Of his chevy put his foot flat down
Look out johnny there's a monkey on your back
You better beware there johnny
'cause the monkey's packin' a gat
Drivin' over red lights speeding down the freeway
Johnny johnny get away
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Johnny thought he'd do something clever
Turning south on the old coast road
Pushing 94 swerving leaning on the door
Trying to shake off his heavy load
Crossed the state line feeling safer
Drinking in the corner of a bar
In walked a guy looked the barman in the eye
Said "hey is johnny in here"
Chorus
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Be good
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Look out johnny 'cos the monkey's packin' a gat
Drivin' over red lights speeding down the freeway
Johnny johnny get away
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Look out johnny there's a monkey on your back
(repeat)

song performed by Hollies
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Jackknife Johnny

From his army confessions of his military days
You still carry the shrapnel you're shell-shocked and dazed
Dear Johnny have you lost your way
Or like denim and leather are you faded and frayed

Institute lackies with hot bourbon breath
White coats and needles Johnny like to scare you to death
Dear Johnny do you feel your best
When you're strung out at night on your morphine and meth

Jackknife Johnny you're a floor moppin' flunkie
Tool of a dagger's drawn world
Jackknife Johnny them old vets gotta hate you
For bringing home that V.C. girl
Jackknife Johnny welcome to our world

From the tone deaf hearing of the draft board game
You were washing cars down in Dallas when the holocaust came
Dear Johnny your excuse was lame
All your friends sleep in boxes while you sleep in chains

Jackknife Johnny you're a bad jungle monkey
Tool of a dagger's drawn world
Jackknife Johnny them old vets gotta hate you
For bringing home that V.C. girl
Jackknife Johnny welcome to our world

Jackknife Johnny you're a floor moppin' flunkie
Tool of a dagger's drawn world
Jackknife Johnny them old vets gotta hate you
For bringing home that V.C. girl
Jackknife Johnny welcome to our world

Jackknife Johnny you're a bad jungle monkey
Tool of a dagger's drawn world
Jackknife Johnny them old vets gotta hate you
For bringing home that V.C. girl
Jackknife Johnny

song performed by Alice Cooper from From The Inside
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Little Johnny Hooker

Oh, Im gonna tell you a story bout a little boy.
Oh, a sad little boy.
Im talkin bout little johnny hooker.
Little johnny hooker was a sissy on the street all his life --
All his natural born life.
Until his daddy took him aside and said,
Son, now heres your switchblade knife boy.
He said get out in the street boy,
Cut yourself some meat boy.
Get out on your own side of the road,
And lighten my load.
Johnny made a mistake and took his knife down to school one day.
Hey, yeah, yeah.
And, when the bell rang for lunch.
Freddie miller went and got in johnnys way boy.
He took his knife from his pocket, pushed a button on the side.
When he seen the queen steel,
You ought to seen the light in freddys eyes.
Oh, yeah ...
Little johnny hooker learned his lesson from the knife now you see,
(yes he did.)
Because for what he done to fred he spent some time in a penitentiary.
It was a day in the courtroom, exhibit letter a.
When the jury seen the knife they put little johnnys ass away.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Talkin bout jooohhhnnny.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Oh, little johnny boy.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Talkin bout jooohhhnnny.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Oh, little johnny boy.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
He was a young boy,
Hes thinkin the rest of his life,
For what he done with the knife.
Talkin bout jooohhhnnny.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Jooohhhnnny.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Little johnny hooker, he aint a bad looker, he aint a bad man, he aint.
Jooohhhnnny.
(repeat to fade)

song performed by Grand Funk Railroad
Added by Lucian Velea
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Thurso’s Landing

I
The coast-road was being straightened and repaired again,
A group of men labored at the steep curve
Where it falls from the north to Mill Creek. They scattered and hid
Behind cut banks, except one blond young man
Who stooped over the rock and strolled away smiling
As if he shared a secret joke with the dynamite;
It waited until he had passed back of a boulder,
Then split its rock cage; a yellowish torrent
Of fragments rose up the air and the echoes bumped
From mountain to mountain. The men returned slowly
And took up their dropped tools, while a banner of dust
Waved over the gorge on the northwest wind, very high
Above the heads of the forest.
Some distance west of the road,
On the promontory above the triangle
Of glittering ocean that fills the gorge-mouth,
A woman and a lame man from the farm below
Had been watching, and turned to go down the hill. The young
woman looked back,
Widening her violet eyes under the shade of her hand. 'I think
they'll blast again in a minute.'
And the man: 'I wish they'd let the poor old road be. I don't
like improvements.' 'Why not?' 'They bring in the world;
We're well without it.' His lameness gave him some look of age
but he was young too; tall and thin-faced,
With a high wavering nose. 'Isn't he amusing,' she said, 'that
boy Rick Armstrong, the dynamite man,
How slowly he walks away after he lights the fuse. He loves to
show off. Reave likes him, too,'
She added; and they clambered down the path in the rock-face,
little dark specks
Between the great headland rock and the bright blue sea.

II
The road-workers had made their camp
North of this headland, where the sea-cliff was broken down and
sloped to a cove. The violet-eyed woman's husband,
Reave Thurso, rode down the slope to the camp in the gorgeous
autumn sundown, his hired man Johnny Luna
Riding behind him. The road-men had just quit work and four
or five were bathing in the purple surf-edge,
The others talked by the tents; blue smoke fragrant with food
and oak-wood drifted from the cabin stove-pipe
And slowly went fainting up the vast hill.
Thurso drew rein by
a group of men at a tent door
And frowned at them without speaking, square-shouldered and
heavy-jawed, too heavy with strength for so young a man,
He chose one of the men with his eyes. 'You're Danny Woodruff,

[...] Read more

poem by Robinson Jeffers
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Ten Percenter

Im just another ten percenter
My mind is like an ocean
My mind is like an ocean
Im hanging in the harbor
Im just drifting letting out the line
Im letting out the drifting line
Im just tyring to a guy
Whos hailing from ann arbor
Im a jerk
And its good
Getting perk
Yeah, I would
Im a jerk
If you got cotton mouth
You better have some water
Sucking syrup and soda
Youre going to just get hotter
But if you want to wile awhile
But if you want to wile awhile
Oh suck a syrup and soda
Oh dance oh sons and daughters
Im a jerk
And its good
Getting perk
Yeah, I would
Im a jerk
If you got cotton mouth
My mind is like an ocean
My mind is like an ocean
My mind is like an ocean
Im a jerk
Making jerk
Soda jerk
And its good
Jerk
Jerk
Jerk
Jerk
Jerk

song performed by Frank Black
Added by Lucian Velea
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Johnny Needs A Fast Car

Johnny needs a fast car
Johnny needs it bad
Johnny always do the best whatever johnny has
Johnny needs a fast one
Johnny needs it now
You got to give him something to let him show you how
Johnny needs a fast car
Johnny needs a fast car
Johnny needs a break
Johnny dont need good luck
cos johnny never fakes
Hell always make it look good
Youll always see him smile
Give johnny a few inches and hell give you back a mile
Johnny needs a fast car
Johnny needs a fast car
Tears upon the broken bones of luck that never went his way
Bless this one youll know him by his smile

song performed by Chris Rea
Added by Lucian Velea
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Johnny Stew

Written by lindsey buckingham.
Johnny, oh johnny,
Where do you roam?
Well always remain here,
So dont leave us alone.
Some say they knew him,
And some just left him alone.
Johnny, oh johnny,
Where do you roam?
Johnny, johnny, johnny!
(everybodys talking about the amazing johnny stew.)
Johnny, johnny, johnny!
(everybodys talking about the amazing johnny stew.)
It takes a worried man, now,
To sing a worried song.
Johnny, oh johnny,
I know you were not wrong.

song performed by Lindsey Buckingham
Added by Lucian Velea
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Jaw, Knee, Music

Johnny has a problem
Johnny is out of control
He had a TV party
With the kids in the black hole
Stealing people's mail
And lynching the landlord
Things to do when angry, young and bored
Johnny was only a lad
Johnny hates the scene
First he hit an old man
Then he hit and run Pauline
The record player spinning the best times
I never had
So why do my old records make me sad?
Cause they're so bad
And no one seems to understand
The glory of guitar
When out of tune
The off timing
The singers who can't sing
The beauty of flaw
He's a teenage vegetable
This is the last resort
He's got PCP in his veins
He lives inside a court
Johnny is a punk rocker
Johnny is he queer?
Johnny needed two bags
And a car to commandeer
Johnny wasn't liked much
But he had a lot of friends
Waits on stage
Eating ludes
A mindless brainwashed pig
Johnny was a good man
Till the day that he got shot
He had a jacked up chevy
That could blow you off the spot
Johnny always needs
More than he takes
Forgets a couple chords
Forgets a couple breaks
Johnny says he's bound
By only six strings to this world
Johnny questions sellout bands
And Johnny pux0rs ritalin
And Johnny is an angry amputee

song performed by NOFX
Added by Lucian Velea
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Thespis: Act I

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

GODS

Jupiter, Aged Diety
Apollo, Aged Diety
Mars, Aged Diety
Diana, Aged Diety
Mercury

THESPIANS

Thespis
Sillimon
TimidonTipseion
Preposteros
Stupidas
Sparkeio n
Nicemis
Pretteia
Daphne
Cymon

ACT I - Ruined Temple on the Summit of Mount Olympus

[Scene--The ruins of the The Temple of the Gods, on summit of
Mount Olympus. Picturesque shattered columns, overgrown with
ivy, etc. R. and L. with entrances to temple (ruined) R. Fallen
columns on the stage. Three broken pillars 2 R.E. At the back of
stage is the approach from the summit of the mountain. This
should be "practicable" to enable large numbers of people to
ascend and descend. In the distance are the summits of adjacent
mountains. At first all this is concealed by a thick fog, which
clears presently. Enter (through fog) Chorus of Stars coming off
duty as fatigued with their night's work]

CHO. Through the night, the constellations,
Have given light from various stations.
When midnight gloom falls on all nations,
We will resume our occupations.

SOLO. Our light, it's true, is not worth mention;
What can we do to gain attention.
When night and noon with vulgar glaring
A great big moon is always flaring.

[During chorus, enter Diana, an elderly goddess. She is carefully
wrapped up in cloaks, shawls, etc. A hood is over her head, a
respirator in her mouth, and galoshes on her feet. During the

[...] Read more

poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
Added by Poetry Lover
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Johnny Gore & The c Eaters

Oh baby, you know you missed the fight
(hes a trouble maker, hes a trouble man)
Alligator wrecked the bar last night
(hes a trouble maker, hes a trouble man)
I guess he had fun, to some people fun is a drag
Gathers lady had to hitch a ride
(shes a trouble lady, to a trouble man)
She got picked up by some guys in some band
Youd never believe what they did to a fan
They found a c on her back, and a lead guitar strap in her hand
Arrive down on n.t.c. in a blue ford van, wanted for the connection of the
Murder of a man
Go johnny, do what you want to do
Hey, hey, blue. I here this johnnys band is red hot
Alright lets check him out
Go johnny, do what you want to do
So go, johnny
Dont you know Im a man (go, go, johnny)
*1-85 thru the south land (johnny)
And my fingers are cold, but my managers tan, so watch out
(go, go johnny)
On the road in a dangerous van ( go, go, johnny)
Watch em burn thru the south land
With my axe in my hand, watch out , for
*johnny gore and the c eaters band
Holy jesus, look at gator up there, hes got johnny gore on
Stage by his hair
Come on guys, give the gators a hand. I paid two dollars
Just to see this ba, ba, band
And I aint gonna let no loser, put the screw on the show
So give us a hand gators crazy you know!
Go johnny, do what you want to do
Hey man, someone throw this dude out of here
Dont give a damn about his old lady
Go johnny, do what you want to do
So go johnny
Hey baby, dont you know Im a man!
So go johnny
*repeat*

song performed by Hall & Oates
Added by Lucian Velea
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