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Joe Smith and Brigham Young laid out Independence, but very soon thereafter enough citizens of the county collected to drive them off, after several stubborn fights.

quote by Cole Younger
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Through the eyes of a Field Coronet (Epic)

Introduction

In the kaki coloured tent in Umbilo he writes
his life’s story while women, children and babies are dying,
slowly but surely are obliterated, he see how his nation is suffering
while the events are notched into his mind.

Lying even heavier on him is the treason
of some other Afrikaners who for own gain
have delivered him, to imprisonment in this place of hatred
and thoughts go through him to write a book.

Prologue

The Afrikaner nation sprouted
from Dutchmen,
who fought decades without defeat
against the super power Spain

mixed with French Huguenots
who left their homes and belongings,
with the revocation of the Edict of Nantes.
Associate this then with the fact

that these people fought formidable
for seven generations
against every onslaught that they got
from savages en wild animals

becoming marksmen, riding
and taming wild horses
with one bullet per day
to hunt a wild antelope,

who migrated right across the country
over hills in mass protest
and then you have
the most formidable adversary
and then let them fight

in a natural wilderness
where the hunter,
the sniper and horseman excels
and any enemy is at a lost.

Let them then also be patriotic
into their souls,
believe in and read
out of the word of God

[...] Read more

poem by Gert Strydom
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Joseph’s Dreams and Reuben's Brethren [A Recital in Six Chapters]

CHAPTER I

I cannot blame old Israel yet,
For I am not a sage—
I shall not know until I get
The son of my old age.
The mysteries of this Vale of Tears
We will perchance explain
When we have lived a thousand years
And died and come again.

No doubt old Jacob acted mean
Towards his father’s son;
But other hands were none too clean,
When all is said and done.
There were some things that had to be
In those old days, ’tis true—
But with old Jacob’s history
This tale has nought to do.

(They had to keep the birth-rate up,
And populate the land—
They did it, too, by simple means
That we can’t understand.
The Patriarchs’ way of fixing things
Would make an awful row,
And Sarah’s plain, straightforward plan
Would never answer now.)
his is a tale of simple men
And one precocious boy—
A spoilt kid, and, as usual,
His father’s hope and joy
(It mostly is the way in which
The younger sons behave
That brings the old man’s grey hairs down
In sorrow to the grave.)

Old Jacob loved the whelp, and made,
While meaning to be kind,
A coat of many colours that
Would strike a nigger blind!
It struck the brethren green, ’twas said—
I’d take a pinch of salt
Their coats had coloured patches too—
But that was not their fault.

Young Joseph had a soft thing on,
And, humbugged from his birth,
You may depend he worked the thing
For all that it was worth.

[...] Read more

poem by Henry Lawson
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Hey Joe

Hey joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
I said hey dude joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Going down to shoot my old lady
You know, i've caught her messin' around with another man
Yes i did
You know, i've caught her messin' around with another man
Hey joe, i said where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Gonna messin' round
Yes i did
You know, i caught her messin' round man, messin' round town now
So i shot her!
I said hey joe, hey joe,
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand,
I said hey joe,
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand
I caught her messin' round, gonna messin' round town with another man yeah
I said hey joe, hey joe
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey joe, hey joe, where you goin' , haha-haha-haha
I've caught her messin' around with another man
I've caught her messin' around with another man
I said hey joe, hey joe, hey joe, hey joe, hey dude joe
I said hey hey joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand, hand, hand
Hey joe, hey joe, hey joe, hey joe, hey joe, hey joe, hey haha
Hey joe, hey joe,
Yeah yeah yeah hey hey
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand,
Yeahhhhh, where you goin' with that gun in your hand

song performed by Lenny Kravitz
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Standing In For Joe

Im standing, standing in for joe
Joe called round to ask me, would I do a favor?
While hes gonna be out of town
He says his girl needs company, she gets so restless
Would I keep her safe and sound?
Softly, softly in the night
Why, you can guess the rest...
Now these shoes fit all too well
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe
Im standing - in for joe
Joe said weve been friends so long
That I would be the one he would trust with his life
And now those words roll round my brain
As darkness falls, as I turn out his bedroom light
Who could resist her tender charms?
So the story goes...
This actor he plays all the parts
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe
Im standing - in for joe
Love is like a river,
You cannot stop its flow... mmm hmm
Joe called round to ask me, would I do a favor?
While hes gonna be out of town
He says his girl needs company, she gets so restless
Would I check that shes safe and sound?
Softly, softly in the night
Why, you can guess the rest...
Now these shoes fit all too well
Standing in for joe
Im standing in for joe - oh yeah
Im standing in for joe - keep his sweetheart company, yeah
Standing in for joe - just standing in for joe, yeah
Standing in for joe - until he gets back home, yeah
Standing in for joe - gonna keep her insane, yeah
Standing in for joe - gonna keep her safe and sound, yeah
Standing in for joe - keep his sweetheart company, yeah
Standing in for joe - almost full time, which is nice, yeah
Standing in for joe - because she gets so restless
Standing in for joe - always so restless
Standing in for joe - keep his sweetheart company, yeah
Standing in for joe - gonna keep her safe and sound, yeah
Standing in for joe - Im standing in for joe, yeah...

song performed by Xtc
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Standing In For Joe

Im standing, standing in for joe
Joe called round to ask me, would I do a favor?
While hes gonna be out of town
He says his girl needs company, she gets so restless
Would I keep her safe and sound?
Softly, softly in the night
Why, you can guess the rest...
Now these shoes fit all too well
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe
Im standing - in for joe
Joe said weve been friends so long
That I would be the one he would trust with his life
And now those words roll round my brain
As darkness falls, as I turn out his bedroom light
Who could resist her tender charms?
So the story goes...
This actor he plays all the parts
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe
Im standing - in for joe
Love is like a river,
You cannot stop its flow... mmm hmm
Joe called round to ask me, would I do a favor?
While hes gonna be out of town
He says his girl needs company, she gets so restless
Would I check that shes safe and sound?
Softly, softly in the night
Why, you can guess the rest...
Now these shoes fit all too well
Standing in for joe
Im standing in for joe - oh yeah
Im standing in for joe - keep his sweetheart company, yeah
Standing in for joe - just standing in for joe, yeah
Standing in for joe - until he gets back home, yeah
Standing in for joe - gonna keep her insane, yeah
Standing in for joe - gonna keep her safe and sound, yeah
Standing in for joe - keep his sweetheart company, yeah
Standing in for joe - almost full time, which is nice, yeah
Standing in for joe - because she gets so restless
Standing in for joe - always so restless
Standing in for joe - keep his sweetheart company, yeah
Standing in for joe - gonna keep her safe and sound, yeah
Standing in for joe - Im standing in for joe, yeah...

song performed by Xtc
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Bruadar And Smith And Glinn

Bruadar and Smith and Glinn,
Amen, dear God, I pray,
May they lie low in waves of woe,
And tortures slow each day!
Amen!

Bruadar and Smith and Glinn
Helpless and cold, I pray,
Amen! I pray, O king,
To see them pine away.
Amen!

Bruadar and Smith and Glinn
May flails of sorrow flay!
Cause for lamenting, snares and cares
Be theirs by night and day!
Amen!

Blindness come down on Smith,
Palsy on Bruadar come,
Amen, O King of Brightness! Smite
Glinn in his members numb,
Amen!

Smith in the pangs of pain,
Stumbling on Bruadar’s path,
King of the Elements, Oh, Amen!
Let loose on Glinn Thy Wrath.
Amen!

For Bruadar gape the grave,
Up-shovel for Smith the mould,
Amen, O King of the Sunday! Leave
Glinn in the devil’s hold.
Amen!

Terrors on Bruadar rain,
And pain upon pain on Glinn,
Amen, O King of the Stars! And Smith
May the devil be linking him.
Amen!

Glinn in a shaking ague,
Cancer on Bruadar’s tongue,
Amen, O King of the Heavens! and Smith
Forever stricken dumb.
Amen!

Thirst but no drink for Glinn,
Smith in a cloud of grief,

[...] Read more

poem by Douglas Hyde
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Soboba

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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What Smith Knew About Farming

There wasn't two purtier farms in the state
Than the couple of which I'm about to relate;--
Jinin' each other--belongin' to Brown,
And jest at the edge of a flourishin' town.
Brown was a man, as I understand,
That allus had handled a good 'eal o' land,
And was sharp as a tack in drivin' a trade--
For that's the way most of his money was made.
And all the grounds and the orchards about
His two pet farms was all tricked out
With poppies and posies
And sweet-smellin' rosies;
And hundreds o' kinds
Of all sorts o' vines,
To tickle the most horticultural minds
And little dwarf trees not as thick as your wrist
With ripe apples on 'em as big as your fist:
And peaches,--Siberian crabs and pears,
And quinces--Well! ANY fruit ANY tree bears;
And th purtiest stream--jest a-swimmin' with fish,
And--JEST O'MOST EVERYTHING HEART COULD WISH!
The purtiest orch'rds--I wish you could see
How purty they was, fer I know it 'ud be
A regular treat!--but I'll go ahead with
My story! A man by the name o' Smith--
(A bad name to rhyme,
But I reckon that I'm
Not goin' back on a Smith! nary time!)
'At hadn't a soul of kin nor kith,
And more money than he knowed what to do with,--
So he comes a-ridin' along one day,
And HE says to Brown, in his offhand way--
Who was trainin' some newfangled vines round a bay-
Winder--'Howdy-do--look-a-here--say:
W hat'll you take fer this property here?--
I'm talkin' o' leavin' the city this year,
And I want to be
Where the air is free,
And I'll BUY this place, if it ain't too dear!'--
Well--they grumbled and jawed aroun'--
'I don't like to part with the place,' says Brown;
'Well,' says Smith, a-jerkin' his head,
'That house yonder--bricks painted red--
Jest like this'n--a PURTIER VIEW--
Who is it owns it?' 'That's mine too,'
Says Brown, as he winked at a hole in his shoe,
'But I'll tell you right here jest what I KIN do:--
If you'll pay the figgers I'll sell IT to you.,'
Smith went over and looked at the place--
Badgered with Brown, and argied the case--

[...] Read more

poem by James Whitcomb Riley
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Allegany Camp

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Happy Independence Day

Blow up them firecrackers.
Light up the sky.
Because it's Happy Independence Day.
I've been meaning to say..

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happ..
Happy Independence Day, Happy Independence Day.
Happy Independence Day.Happy Independence Day.

Sparklers glowing.Stars and stripes showing.
Nothing but happy people.Celebrating the Fourth Of July.
The birth of our country.The birth of our flag.
Because our founding fathers.Always wanted it this way.

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happ..
Happy Independence Day.Happy Independence Day.
Happy Independence Day.Happy Independence Day.

Fifty stars and thirteen stripes.
The flag still flies.The American way.
Old Glory's the name.Old Glory's the same.
Join with the crowd, for the American dream.

So blow up them firecrackers.
Light up the sky.
Because it's Happy Independence Day.
I've been meaning to say.

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happ..
Happy Independence Day.Happy Independence Day.
Happy Independence Day.Happy Independence Day.

Independence Day-Song Poetry By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2006,2009..
ALL rights reserved..

Note; This wonderful Song-Poem was written on the Fourth Of July,
in the year 2006..

poem by Kim Robin Edwards
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Sex Drive

Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride!
Tell the boys in the bank,
Put the gas in my tank,
Polish your skin on my leather,
In which position you rank.
My car is fast, and its big,
Its one heck of a [? ],
Its a beast, get in,
If you know whats best,
Co-wirst the wind,
No backing out,
Concentrate, liberating, escape!
Well?
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.
Excellerate with my spurge,
Fell the engine purr,
Just push the pedal to the metal,
I wanna see you squirm,
Im double esque,
And Im lean, Im one mean machine,
Im a beast, get in if you know whats best!
Well co-wirst the wind and kiss the sky,
No backing out, its satisfying!!
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.

[...] Read more

song performed by Grace Jones
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Sex Drive (Dominatrix Mix)

Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride!
Tell the boys in the bank,
Put the gas in my tank,
Polish your skin on my leather,
In which position you rank.
My car is fast, and its big,
Its one heck of a [? ],
Its a beast, get in,
If you know whats best,
Co-wirst the wind,
No backing out,
Concentrate, liberating, escape!
Well?
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.
Excellerate with my spurge,
Fell the engine purr,
Just push the pedal to the metal,
I wanna see you squirm,
Im double esque,
And Im lean, Im one mean machine,
Im a beast, get in if you know whats best!
Well co-wirst the wind and kiss the sky,
No backing out, its satisfying!!
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.

[...] Read more

song performed by Grace Jones
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Drive-in

Ooo wah
Ooo wah
Everytime I have a date theres only one place to go
Thats to the drive in
Its such a groovy place to talk and maybe watch a show
Down at the drive in
Forget about the plot, itll do very well
But make sure you see enough so youre prepared to tell
About the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
If the windows get fogged youll have to take a breath
(oooooooo waah oooo)
Down at the drive in
(wah wah ooooooo)
Or the cat dressed in white will scare you both to death
Down at the drive in
A big buttered popcorn and an extra large coke
A few chili dogs and man Im goin broke
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
Yeah at the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Dont sneak your buddies in the trunk cause they might get caught
By the drive in
(wah wah wah ooooooo)
And theyd look kinda stupid gettin chased through the lot
(wah ooooooo)
Around the drive in
If you say you watch the movie youre a couple o liars
And remember only you can prevent forest fires
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)

song performed by Beach Boys
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Antichrist, or the Reunion of Christendom: An Ode

Are they clinging to their crosses,
F. E. Smith,
Where the Breton boat-fleet tosses,
Are they, Smith?
Do they, fasting, trembling, bleeding,
Wait the news from this our city?
Groaning "That's the Second Reading!"
Hissing "There is still Committee!"
If the voice of Cecil falters,
If McKenna's point has pith,
Do they tremble for their altars?
Do they, Smith?

Russian peasants round their pope
Huddled, Smith,
Hear about it all, I hope,
Don't they, Smith?
In the mountain hamlets clothing
Peaks beyond Caucasian pales,
Where Establishment means nothing
And they never heard of Wales,
Do they read it all in Hansard -
With a crib to read it with -
"Welsh Tithes: Dr. Clifford answered."
Really, Smith?

In the lands where Christians were,
F. E. Smith,
In the little lands laid bare,
Smith, O Smith!
Where the Turkish bands are busy
And the Tory name is blessed
Since they hailed the Cross of Dizzy
On the banners from the West!
Men don't think it half so hard if
Islam burns their kin and kith,
Since a curate lives in Cardiff
Saved by Smith.

It would greatly, I must own,
Soothe me, Smith!
If you left this theme alone,
Holy Smith!
For your legal cause or civil
You fight well and get your fee;
For your God or dream or devil
You will answer, not to me.
Talk about the pews and steeples
And the cash that goes therewith!
But the souls of Christian peoples...

[...] Read more

poem by G.K. Chesterton
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Antichrist, or the Reunion of Christendom: An Ode

Are they clinging to their crosses,
F. E. Smith,
Where the Breton boat-fleet tosses,
Are they, Smith?
Do they, fasting, trembling, bleeding,
Wait the news from this our city?
Groaning "That's the Second Reading!"
Hissing "There is still Committee!"
If the voice of Cecil falters,
If McKenna's point has pith,
Do they tremble for their altars?
Do they, Smith?

Russian peasants round their pope
Huddled, Smith,
Hear about it all, I hope,
Don't they, Smith?
In the mountain hamlets clothing
Peaks beyond Caucasian pales,
Where Establishment means nothing
And they never heard of Wales,
Do they read it all in Hansard --
With a crib to read it with --
"Welsh Tithes: Dr. Clifford answered."
Really, Smith?

In the lands where Christians were,
F. E. Smith,
In the little lands laid bare,
Smith, O Smith!
Where the Turkish bands are busy
And the Tory name is blessed
Since they hailed the Cross of Dizzy
On the banners from the West!
Men don't think it half so hard if
Islam burns their kin and kith,
Since a curate lives in Cardiff
Saved by Smith.

It would greatly, I must own,
Soothe me, Smith!
If you left this theme alone,
Holy Smith!
For your legal cause or civil
You fight well and get your fee;
For your God or dream or devil
You will answer, not to me.
Talk about the pews and steeples
And the cash that goes therewith!
But the souls of Christian peoples...

[...] Read more

poem by Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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You Drive Me Crazy

You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.
Say...
You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.

All day long...
I knock my head against the wall.

Holding on...
To nothing that I own at all.

When night falls...
I need some time to just relax.
And not be nit picked behind my back.
With a nagging done by a maniac.

You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.
Say...
You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.

All day long...
I knock my head against the wall.

Holding on...
To nothing that I own at all.

When night falls...

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Gunner Joe

I'll tell you a seafaring story,
Of a lad who won honour and fame
Wi' Nelson at Battle 'Trafalgar,
Joe Moggeridge, that were his name.

He were one of the crew of the Victory,
His job when a battle begun
Was to take cannon balls out o' basket
And shove 'em down front end o' gun.

One day him and Nelson were boxing,
The compass, like sailor lads do.
When 'Ardy comes up wi' a spyglass,
And pointing, says "'Ere, take a screw!"

They looked to were 'Ardy were pointing,
And saw lots o' ships in a row.
Joe says abrupt like but respectful,
"'Oratio lad, yon's the foe."

'What say we attack 'em?' says Nelson,
Says Joe 'Nay lad, not today.'
And 'Ardy says, 'Aye, well let's toss up.'
'Oratio answers 'Okay.'

They tossed... it were heads for attacking,
And tails for t'other way 'bout.
Joe lent them his two-headed penny,
So the answer was never in doubt.

When penny came down 'ead side uppards,
They was in for a do it were plain,
And Joe murmered 'Shiver me timbers.'
And Nelson kissed 'Ardy again.

And then, taking flags out o' locker,
'E strung out a message on high.
'T were all about England and duty,
Crew thought they was 'ung out to dry.

They got the guns ready for action,
And that gave 'em trouble enough.
They 'adn't been fired all the summer,
And touch-holes were bunged up wi' fluff.

Joe's cannon, it weren't 'alf a corker,
The cannon balls went three foot round.
They wasn't no toy balloons either,
They weighed close on sixty-five pound.

[...] Read more

poem by Marriott Edgar
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Bill and Joe

COME, dear old comrade, you and I
Will steal an hour from days gone by,
The shining days when life was new,
And all was bright with morning dew,
The lusty days of long ago,
When you were Bill and I was Joe.

Your name may flaunt a titled trail
Proud as a cockerel's rainbow tail,
And mine as brief appendix wear
As Tam O'Shanter's luckless mare;
To-day, old friend, remember still
That I am Joe and you are Bill.

You've won the great world's envied prize,
And grand you look in people's eyes,
With H O N. and L L. D.
In big brave letters, fair to see,--
Your fist, old fellow! off they go!--
How are you, Bill? How are you, Joe?

You've worn the judge's ermined robe;
You've taught your name to half the globe;
You've sung mankind a deathless strain;
You've made the dead past live again:
The world may call you what it will,
But you and I are Joe and Bill.

The chaffing young folks stare and say
"See those old buffers, bent and gray,--
They talk like fellows in their teens
Mad, poor old boys! That's what it means,"--
And shake their heads; they little know
The throbbing hearts of Bill and Joe!--

How Bill forgets his hour of pride,
While Joe sits smiling at his side;
How Joe, in spite of time's disguise,
Finds the old schoolmate in his eyes,--
Those calm, stern eyes that melt and fill
As Joe looks fondly up at Bill.

Ah, pensive scholar, what is fame?
A fitful tongue of leaping flame;
A giddy whirlwind's fickle gust,
That lifts a pinch of mortal dust;
A few swift years, and who can show
Which dust was Bill and which was Joe?

The weary idol takes his stand,

[...] Read more

poem by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Added by Poetry Lover
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John Smith

To-day I strayed in Charing Cross as wretched as could be
With thinking of my home and friends across the tumbling sea;
There was no water in my eyes, but my spirits were depressed
And my heart lay like a sodden, soggy doughnut in my breast.
This way and that streamed multitudes, that gayly passed me by--
Not one in all the crowd knew me and not a one knew I!
'Oh, for a touch of home!' I sighed; 'oh, for a friendly face!
Oh, for a hearty handclasp in this teeming desert place!'
And so, soliloquizing as a homesick creature will,
Incontinent, I wandered down the noisy, bustling hill
And drifted, automatic-like and vaguely, into Lowe's,
Where Fortune had in store a panacea for my woes.
The register was open, and there dawned upon my sight
A name that filled and thrilled me with a cyclone of delight--
The name that I shall venerate unto my dying day--
The proud, immortal signature: 'John Smith, U.S.A.'

Wildly I clutched the register and brooded on that name--
I knew John Smith, yet could not well identify the same.
I knew him North, I knew him South, I knew him East and West--
I knew him all so well I knew not which I knew the best.
His eyes, I recollect, were gray, and black, and brown, and blue,
And, when he was not bald, his hair was of chameleon hue;
Lean, fat, tall, short, rich, poor, grave, gay, a blonde and a brunette--
Aha, amid this London fog, John Smith, I see you yet;
I see you yet, and yet the sight is all so blurred I seem
To see you in composite, or as in a waking dream,
Which are you, John? I'd like to know, that I might weave a rhyme
Appropriate to your character, your politics and clime;
So tell me, were you 'raised' or 'reared'--your pedigree confess
In some such treacherous ism as 'I reckon' or 'I guess';
Let fall your tell-tale dialect, that instantly I may
Identify my countryman, 'John Smith, U.S.A.'

It's like as not you are the John that lived a spell ago
Down East, where codfish, beans 'nd bona-fide school-marms grow;
Where the dear old homestead nestles like among the Hampshire hills
And where the robin hops about the cherry boughs and trills;
Where Hubbard squash 'nd huckleberries grow to powerful size,
And everything is orthodox from preachers down to pies;
Where the red-wing blackbirds swing 'nd call beside the pickril pond,
And the crows air cawin' in the pines uv the pasture lot beyond;
Where folks complain uv bein' poor, because their money's lent
Out West on farms 'nd railroads at the rate uv ten per cent;
Where we ust to spark the Baker girls a-comin' home from choir,
Or a-settin' namin' apples round the roarin' kitchen fire:
Where we had to go to meetin' at least three times a week,
And our mothers learnt us good religious Dr. Watts to speak,
And where our grandmas sleep their sleep--God rest their souls, I say!
And God bless yours, ef you're that John, 'John Smith, U.S.A.'

[...] Read more

poem by Eugene Field
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Natural Joe

There's a boy out 'luma way named Joe Eugene.
He's one mellow ass son of a bitch-a.
He loves his wheat grass and cold bean curd.
He's one healthy ass sone of a bitch-a.
But late at night he sneaks on down to the liquor store
for a bottle of sheep dip.
Natural Joe,
got an easy flow.
Whereever he goes
they say "here comes Joe."
Joe, he's a happy Man and he won't do you wrong.
He's one respectable son of a bitch-a.
Now Joe ain't no patriarch,
but he's smooth with the girls.
He ain't no cahuvinistic sone of a bitch-a.
But late at night he sneaks on down to the porno store
for a little bit of ...
Nature Joe,
he's hanging low.
Whereever he goes
they say "here comes Joe."
There's a boy out 'luma way named Joe Eugene.
He's one mellow ass son of a bitch-a.
He don't like firearms; he don't own knives.
He's one pacifistic sone of a bitch-a.
But late at night he eases on down to the video store
for a little bit of ...
Natural Joe,
got an easy flow.
Whereever he goes
they say "here comes Joe."
Natural Joe,
looking slow and low.
Look there he goes.
Go Natural Joe.

song performed by Primus
Added by Lucian Velea
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