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Matt Groening

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

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Cops And Donuts

When I was on the freeway, doing 70 all drunk
A copper pulled me over, and I thought that I was sunk
He came up to my car, I thought up a little trick
I took a donut, jelly filled, and put it on a stick
He came up to my window, and shouted to get out
So I quickly took the donut and I shoved it in his mouth
So I drove away, he shouted for some more
So I threw it out the window and he ate it off the floor
Cops and donuts
Cops love donuts
Cops love donuts
Cops and donuts

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Right now, I'm working with Super Bakery and we manufacture nutritional donuts called Super Donuts.

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No Rhyme Forsaken - Verse Rose versus Prose Curse - after Robert Frost

Two ways diverge on a virgin page
and happy not to travel both
as rhyme unraveller, briefly gauge,
look down on prose rants' spirit cage
pedestrian prose earns uncouth oath.

Discarding 'free verse' - rarely fair -
that freedom claim, formless but lame,
over prose I chose verse dainty where
few find fine lines simple, care
for 'worn out rhyme-schemes', won't play game.

Fate winks, linked fingers, beckoning, weigh
book leaves as yet un-inked in black,
one asks those self-styled bards today
if they'll be heard tomorrow. May
be - we doubt - they're on right track.

I won't be telling this with a sigh
as Time turns wheel, some ages hence
two roads could crisscross, would defy
current cacophony. One less travelled by
would make linguistic difference!

The road not taken Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Self-Parody written 1916 Mountain Interval

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A Little Something Refreshing

Yeah yay oh
I'm hungry yeah
I said I'm starving yeah
I want some Pizza Coke and ice cream popcorn
cotton candy
Marshmallows milkshake and peanuts would be
so great
Pies chips candy apples Twinkies Frosted
Flakes
And donuts french fries and some chocolate
cake with mustard
Cookies avocados pancakes pineapple juice
Whipped cream on some raw meat
That's not all I could...
Eat
I'm hungry
I want some food for my tum
I want some honey roasted walnuts pepperoni
slices
Pasta and burritos different kinds of rices
Cherries dipped in chocolate cottage cheese
and jelly
Colonel Sander's chicken still won't fill my
belly
Broccoli sticky syrup churros dipped in sauce
Drippy sloppy joes then I'm full at last
Oh oh oh oh oh oh I'm full at last
And I'm full at I'm really really full at
And I'm full at last
I'm full at I'm really really full at
I'm full at last
And I'm full at I'm really really full at
I'm full at last
Full
(BURP!)

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Everybody Knows The Claus

Don't you smell the cookies he's baking
Can't yo usee the belly he's shakin'
Don't take a cokkie off that pan
You don't want to mess with this man

You've never seen this side of him before
You know he won't be knockin' at your door

Here comes Santa Claus
Doin' all those good things
Everybody knows the Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
You know he's a big man
Don't mess with the boss

Ask Rudolph and he won't steer you wrong
Santa wasn't this fat all along
Until he started cookin' one day
Don't try to take that turkey away

You've never seen this side of him before
You know he won't be knockin' at your door

Here comes Santa Claus
Doin' all those good things
Everybody knows the Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
You know he's the big man
Don't mess with the boss
br Crusin' down the air highway in his sleigh
Bringing all the presents for the next day
Don't forget the donuts

His cookies and his milk are his pride
Or anything that can be deep-fried
Don't get me wrong now he's a nice guy
But you don't want to get on his bad side

You've never seen this side of him before
You know he won't be knockin' at your door

Here comes Santa Claus
Doin' all those good things
Everybody knows the Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
You know he's the big man
Don't mess with the boss

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Sore Loser

You tried out for the high school team
So you would have some childhood dreams
That you and your father could share
Football coach said you're too small
Don't even think of basketball
You knew you were destined to fail

Went to the track meet
You wanna be an athlete (sore loser)
Get back in your seat they said
Go to the dugout
Three strikes you stuck out (sore loser)
And home runs flew over your head

Looking down on rock n' roll
And you dreamed of scoring goals
You're saving those dreams for your bed
Thought it was cool to be a jock
You ended up a rent-a-cop
A dozen donuts in your hand

You're a loser
A sore loser

Now it seems the tables turned
The game of life you should have learned
So try using some of your brains
All your high school friends are stars
Driving really fancy cars
The irony drives you insane


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I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.

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In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel.

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Love My Family

Love my family
like a fatboy loves his donuts

care for my family
like a wolf caring for his cubs

nurture family
like ice cold water on a hot summer day

family as one
the only family i would ever want,
care for,
love them,
nurture them,
we complete each other

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I Gotta Move

I gotta move
I had a taste
I gotta move
I gotta me me off the face
Like peter radiator
I heard that he got bashed
Yeah, he got sainted
You know it wasnt for the cash
I gotta move
I had a taste
I gotta move
I gotta get me off the face
He told me
In heaven
That every
Everything is fine
Yeah, that would make a good movie
Yeah, that would make a good record
I gotta move
I gotta break
I gotta move
I gotta get me cross the lake
And then he stopped to say
Before he went down
This is the worst place in the sun
I gotta move
I had a taste
I gotta move
I gotta get me off the face
There was a jack who coiffed it
He came from my home town
He was a prophet
Some kids they put him in the ground
Got coffee
Got donuts
Got wasted
Erased head
And what do they say?
Hes not afraid of the present tense
And talking back is a bad defense
I gotta move
I gotta break
I gotta move
I gotta get me cross the lake
I gotta move (4x)
And then he stopped to say
Before he went down
This is the worst place in the sun
I gotta move (5x)

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A Little Something Refreshing

Yeah
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tummy
I want some
Pizza coke and ice cream
Popcorn cotton candy
Marshmallows milkshake and peanuts
Would be so great
Pies chips candy apples
Twinkies frosted flakes
Donuts french fries
And some chocolate cake with mustard
Cookies avocados pancakes
Pineapple juice
Whipped cream on some raw meat
Thats not all I could eat
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tum...
I want some
Honey roasted walnuts
Pepperoni slices
Pasta and burritos
Different kinds of rices
Cherries dipped in chocolate
Cottage cheese and jelly
Colonel sanders chicken
Still wont fill my belly
Broccoli sticky syrup
Churros dipped in sauce
Drippy sloppy joes
Then Im full at last
Ahhh ahhh
Im full at last
Burp.

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The Wino & I Know

By: jimmy buffett
1974
The ice cream man hes a hillbilly fan
Got seventy-eights by hank snow
Walks down the street, shufflin his feet
To a rhythm that only he knows
And Ive seen him in so many places
I saw him the night I was born
In a bourbon street bar, I received my first scar
From an old man so tattered and torn
Chorus:
And the wino and I know the pain of street singin
Like a door-to-door salesman knows the pains of bell ringin
Strange situation, wild occupation
Livin my life like a song
Coffee is strong at the cafe du monde
Donuts are too hot to touch
Just like a fool, when those sweet goodies cool
I eat til I eat way too much
cause Im livin on things that excite me
Be they pastry or lobster or love
Im just tryin to get by bein quiet and shy
In a world full of pushin and shove
Chorus:
And the wino and I know the pain of back bustin
Like the farmer knows the pain of his pickup truck rustin
Strange situation, wild occupation
Livin my life like a song
Sweet senorita wont you please come with me
Back to the island honey, back to the sea
Back to the only place that I want to be
Chorus:
And the wino and I know the joy of the ocean
Like a boy knows the joy of his milkshake in motion
Strange situation, wild occupation
Livin my life like a song
Yes its a strange situation, a wild occupation
Livin my life like a song

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The Wino And I Know

The ice cream man he's a hillbilly fan,
He's got seventy-eights by Hank Snow;
Walks down the street, shufflin' his feet,
To the rhythm that only he knows.
And I've seen him in so many places,
I saw him the night I was born;
In a Bourbon Street bar I received my first scar
From an old man so tattered and torn.
And the Wino and I know the pains of street singin'
Like the door-to-door salesman knows
the pains of bell ringin'
It's a strange situation,
a wild occupation,
Living my life like a song.
Well the coffee is strong
at the Cafe Du Monde,
And the donuts are too hot to touch;
But just like a fool, when those
sweet goodies cool, I ate 'til I ate way too much.
Cause I'm livin' on things that excite me,
Be they pastries or lobsters or love;
I'm just tryin' to get by being quiet and shy,
In a world full of pushin' and shove.
And the Wino and I know the pains of backbustin',
Like the farmer knows the pain of his pick-up
truck rustin'.
It's a strange situation, a wild occupation,
Living my life like a song.
Sweet Senorita, Won't you please come with me?
Back to the island, honey, back to the sea;
Back to the only place that I want to be.
And the Wino and I know the joys of the ocean,
Like a boy knows the joys of his milkshake
in motion.
It's a strange situation, a wild occupation,
Living my life like a song.

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Jump Around

Pack it up, pack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
Battle me that's a sin
I won't tear the sack up
Punk you'd better back up
Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up
Get up, stand up, come on throw your hands up
If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling
Muggs is a funk fest, someone's talking junk
Yo, I'll bust em in the eye
And then I'll take the punks home
Feel it, funk it
Amps it are junking
And I got more rhymes than there's cops that are dunking
Donuts shop
Sure 'nuff I got props from the kids in KoRn
Plus my mom and my pops
I came to get down (2x)
So get out your seats and jump around
Jump around (3x)
Jump up Jump up and get down
Jump (18x)
I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe
If your steps up, I'm smacking the ho
Word to your moms I came to drop bombs
I got more rhymes than the Bible's got Psalms
And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned
Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned
Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none
So if you come to battle bring a shotgun
But if you do you're a fool, cause I duel to the death
Try and step to me you'll take your last breath
I gots the skill, come get your fill
Cause when I shoot ta give, I shoot to kill
Chorus
I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top
I never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop
Or better yet a terminator
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger
Try'n to play me out like as if my name was Sega
But I ain't going out like no punk bitch
Get used to one style and you know I might switch
It up up and around, then buck buck you down
Put out your head then you wake up in the Dawn of the Dead
I'm coming to get ya, coming to get ya
Spitting out lyrics homie I'll wet ya
Chorus
Jump (32x)
Yo, this is dedicated

[...] Read more

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I Can Give You More

I seen this girl, walkin down the block
I said, "WAIT!"
"Yo baby, you wanna come to my crib?"
"Have some donuts and milk?"
"Listen to a pop tune maybe?"
Please be his ex and be my bride
Don't blame it on yourself, sweet thing, you tried
Love you claimed to share just wasn't there
You're too good for that, and it wasn't fair
Love's taken its toll, your heart he stole
You was fooled by the face of a phoney role
But I'll take up the slack, support you, baby
Now the knight in shiny armor can only be me
I cry out your name as you hold his hand
If you're not mine soon, girl, my soul is damned
I'm lookin out the window at the stormy rain
And the rush of the water makes my eyes drain
All alone in the room, and it's makin me sad
Fantasize of the love we could have had
Cause I never met anyone like you before
And I can give you more
I pour wine for two, even though it's just me
I tried to reach you, but blind men don't see
Your man is the devil, but he gave you a ring
So you believe you saw an innocent angel sing
You're the type that ignores the destiny of two
It's not Romeo and Juliet, it's me and you
You're bein handicapped by a Don Juan rap
You can hope I disappear, girl, but I'll be back
Cause I never met anyone like you before
And I can give you more
Yes girl, I never met anyone like you before
And I can give you more
The time has come, the decision's yours
This super love story ain't workin no more
Can't you understand that my love spans
Higher and further than any man's
You're lookin a gift horse right in the mouth
This time hear me out, I don't care if you pout
You're my only desire, I fight to the death
And I'ma scream your name when I breathe my last breath
Ain't gettin on my knees, but I'm oh so close
To our love I toast, all he does is boast
Cause I never met anyone like you before
And I can give you more
A knock on the door and a tap on the glass
Tells me you see it my way at last
You used to reject me, now you wanna kiss me
He called you up and said, "Yo baby, why you diss me?"
Meanwhile made romance on the sea shore

[...] Read more

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Cheesy Rat Blues

Intro: sampled from the vapors by bizmarkie
Nothin can save ya
Nothin can save ya
Nothin can save ya
*scratched* nothin
Just throw your hands in the air
And wave em like you just dont care
Keep em there
Yo run the jewels run the jewels run the jewels
*scratched* can you feel it
Verse one:
I used to be rollin like a millionaire
Cash in a flash bankroll to spare
Homeboys hangin, champagne and girls
Got my main woman diamonds, my mistress pearls
Everybody laughin at my corny jokes
I was stupid; I thought that they were sincere folks
It turned out they liked the money and the fame
If I aint get paid, Id be that nobody james
The nobody, who dreamed about bein somebody
Chief rocker at the party
And they was hangin like, yo, Im your man
I dont even care about the ring on your hand
Wed go out to eat and chill
But they would go to the bathroom when it was time to pay the bill
I didnt notice all the chuckles and laughter
Too busy with a female tellin me Im the master
I was slick like, huh, do I know you?
I got play, here, let me show ya
Used to have a girl that was on the ball
When the cash flow got low, so did her calls
Used to have a homeboy, always chillin
My cash went low, he told me I was illin
And dont call cause he dont hang with derelicts
Broke with no cash, yo, I was in the mix
Everybody stepped cause my pocket wasnt fat
My girl got a new man, I fixed his flat
Im the one that theyre laughin at
They say, cheesy rat, you aint all that
Chorus: *bizmarkie again*
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Nothin can save ya
Verse two:
I mean crabbin, played out by backstabbin; I feel like tiein
A anchor to my ankle and jumpin right in the ocean
Cause Im ashy and I cant afford lotion
So-called friends in the jewelry store

[...] Read more

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A Little Something Refreashing

Yeah
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tummy
I want some
Pizza coke and ice cream
Popcorn cotton candy
Marshmallows milkshake and peanuts
Would be so great
Pies chips candy apples
Twinkies frosted flakes
Donuts french fries
And some chocolate cake with mustard
Cookies avocados pancakes
Pineapple juice
Whipped cream on some raw meat
Thats not all I could eat
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tum...
I want some
Honey roasted walnuts
Pepperoni slices
Pasta and burritos
Different kinds of rices
Cherries dipped in chocolate
Cottage cheese and jelly
Colonel sanders chicken
Still wont fill my belly
Broccoli sticky syrup
Churros dipped in sauce
Drippy sloppy joes
Then Im full at last
Ahhh ahhh
Im full at last
Burp.

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That Was Us

Twenty dollars out of mama's purse
Bought us a tank of gas
And some Redman Tobacco
When we were just teenage kids.
Me and my old buddy Leroy
We'd go drivin' around
If there was trouble to be found
Oh, man we dang sure did.
Cuttin' donuts in the fields
So old man Smith would call the cops
He'd come runnin' out with his shotgun
'Cause we were runnin' down his crops
And I reckon he's still wonderin'
Who that was, but that was us.
Now some of these local boys moved on
But we never changed a bit
Never had a lick of sense
Least that's what some folks said.
Then finally we turned old enough
To buy our own beer
Don't remember much about that year
Juct lucky we ain't dead.
Somebody said they saw some boys
With a truck looked just like mine
Tryin' to pull down that old water tank
That sits out on the county line.
And people wonder why it leans
The way it does, that was us.
--- Instrumental ---
Seems like small towns never change
But things get tough when times get hard
They said when he got sick
Old man Smith would a lost that farm.
'Cause he was gettin' way behind
On all his bills
But somebody brought his crops in
From the field.
Yeah, and folks around here
Still wonder who that was.
That was us.
That was us.
That was us.
That was us.
That was us...

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My Evil Twin

My evil twin, bad weather friend
He always wants to start when I want to begin*
It scares me so, like I scare myself
With that book of nostradamus up upon my shelf
Playing hangman til the morning light
Doing donuts on the neighbors lawn
Then sleep all through the day, get up and start again
I can hear some sirens somewhere but I dont know why
My evil twin runs home again
Search lights look for an alibi, but Ill be home by then
Here he comes again, my evil twin
My friends have seen him hiding underneath my skin
Who cut the arm off the voodoo doll
That resembles a republican president from long ago
Id hate to see you leave
cause I have grown so grateful for the
Blame you save me from
My twin
My twin
My twin
(my twin) I know he looks like me
(my twin) hates work like me and walks like me
(my twin) hes even got a twin like me
My evil twin, bad weather friend
I know some day Ill meet him
But I dont know where or when

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Midnight Star

I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less
At the checkout counter at the local grocery store
I was only passin by
But a paper caught my eye
And I learend a few things I mever knew before
It said your pet may be an extra terrestrial
It said the ghost of elvis is living in my den
You can learn to cope with stress
You can beat the irs
And the incredible frog boy is on the loose again
Oh, mignight star
Its in the weekly midnight star
Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car
Midnight star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Eat jelly donuts and lose twenty pounds a day
Hear the story of the man born without a head
And top psychics all agree
That the telephone company
Will have a brand new service that lets you talk to the dead
Oh, midnight star
You can believe it if you read it in the weekly mignight star
Theyre keeping hitlers brain alive inside a jar
Midnight star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my bust-line grow
Midnight star, I wanna know
Oh, midnight star
Well, dont you know that I read it, I read it in the weekly midnight star
The ufos have landed and well tell you where they are
Midnight star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Midnight star
Well, you can read all about in in the weekly midnight star
You can use you esp to learn to play guitar
Midnight star I wanna know, I wanna know
(ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(ah, midnight star) inquiring minds like mine wanna know
(you can read it {x5}, midnight star {x2}) (ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(you can read it {x5}, midnight star {x2}) (ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(you can read it {x5}, midnight star {x2}) (ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(you can read it {x5}, midnight star {x2}) (ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(you can read it {x5}, midnight star {x2}) (ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(you can read it {x5}, midnight star {x2}) (ah, midnight star) I wanna know, I wanna know

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