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Oliver Stone

Lunch is for wimps.

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Miss Piggy regrets..

Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
That tastelessly named flu’s got her
(She forgot to wash her front trotter…) so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..

Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
It’s a swine of a stroke of bad luck:
Her eyelashes, she sneezed them unstuck… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today…

Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
She’s all pink from her snout to her face;
Her mascara’s all over the place… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..

Why not try the lamb today, madam…?

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Miss Otis Regrets

Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down in lover's lane she strayed, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
When she woke up and found that her dream of love was gone, madam,
She ran to the man who had led her so far astray,
And from under her velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her love down, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
When the mob came and got her and dragged her from the jail, madam,
They strung her upon the old willow across the way,
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried, madam......
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today

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Out To Lunch

(j. spinks)
Im ­ out of my head
You ­ wont understand me
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends i? m all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
I? m under a spell
You won? t recognize me
Don? t come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
Im out to lunch ­ mmm ­ wont you listen ­ Im to lunch
Hey just let me sleep
Please ­ dont pressurize me
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
Im ­ out of my head ­ Im out of my head

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I Wish Lunch Could Last Forever

I wish lunch could last forever
By: jimmy buffett, jay oliver
1989
The place down the block, the one with no clock
Covert rendez-vous with you at the usual time
I savor the scent of the fish on the grill
Lifes so spicy up on bar-b-q hill
Looking good, you look so fine
Waiter bring us one more bottle of wine
Chorus:
I wish lunch could last forever
Make the whole day on big afternoon
Well begin with dessert a little coconut tart
Tastes as sweet as a piece of your heart
Cafe au lait beneath the paris moon
Dont hide your eyes just wear your disguise
Brazils in the air I swear it feels like mardi gras time
I savor the scent love that annick goutal
As we walk in time to the cathedral bells
Chorus:
I wish lunch could last forever
Make the whole day on big afternoon
Well begin with dessert a little coconut tart
Tastes as sweet as a piece of your heart
Cafe au lait beneath the paris moon
Oh yeah, uh huh, ooooh...
I wish love could last forever
Make the whole day a first time love affair
Well begin with a kiss, such a warm place to start
Let me into your life let me into your heart
Mea culpa mea culpa carnivals in the air
Well begin with a kiss, such a warm place to start
Let me into your life let me into your heart
I wish, I wish that lunch could last forever
Oh yeah, uh huh, oh, oh...
-- spoken:
Tout la jour, mademoiselle [ everyday, mademoiselle ]
Dejeuner tout la jour [ lunch every day ]
Ah oui, une boutelle de vin blanc [ ah yes, a bottle of white wine ]
Un dessert? cest necessaire [ a dessert? its necessary ... ]
Tres necessaire [ ...very necessary ]

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Girls Just Want To Have Lunch

[parody of girls just want to have fun by cyndi lauper]
I know to keep a woman satisfied.
When I whip out my diners card their eyes get so wide.
Theyre always in the mood for something to munch.
Ah girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have...
Thats all they really want,
Some lunch.
Dont ask em to dinner
Or breakfast or brunch,
cause girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have lunch.
Girls they want, wanna have lunch, girls, wanna have...

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Miss Otis Regrets

(cole porter)
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down at lover's lane, she strayed.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
~interlude~
When she woke from her dream
And found that her love had gone,
Madam...
She ran to the man
Who had led her so far astray.
And from under her velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her lover down.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
Then the mob came and got her
And dragged her from the jail.
Madam...
They strung her upon
A willow across the way.
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.

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Magical Mystery Tour

I am in this low-slung sports car
painted a deep, rich yellow
driving under an Italian sun.
I have a British accent.
I'm wearing dark shades
an expensive silk shirt.
there's no dirt under my
fingernails.
the radio plays Vivaldi
and there are two women with
me
one with raven hair
the other a blonde.
they have small breasts and
beautiful legs
and they laugh at everything I
say.

as we drive up a steep road
the blonde squeezes my leg
and nestles closer
while raven hair
leans across and nibbles my
ear.

we stop for lunch at a quaint
rustic inn.
there is more laughter
before lunch
during lunch and after
lunch.

after lunch we will have a
flat tire on the other side of
the mountain
and the blonde will change the
tire
while
raven hair
photographs me
lighting my pipe
leaning against a tree
the perfect background
perfectly at peace
with
sunlight
flowers
clouds
birds
everywhere.

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When Her Brothers Were Away.

When Monica asked
if she could go with you
and her brothers
bike riding

her mother said
no you're too young
or if she asked
to go with you

and Jim and Pete
to the cinema
to see the latest
Elvis flick

her mother said
definitely not
it's not for young girls
and Monica'd storm indoors

slamming the door
shouting I hate you all
but when you called one day
and her brothers were out

(gone to see their big brother
about some old motorbike)
her mother said
yes come in and wait

and Monica was
pleased as Punch
especially when
her mother said

you could stay to lunch
and I can show you
over the place
Monica said

and after lunch maybe
we can go for a bike ride
along the small lanes
and maybe you

could show me
some judo moves
and her mother said
we'll see I'm not sure

[...] Read more

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March of the Wheelchairs

In Dakota land lunch is dinner
and dinner supper while lunch is lunch,
as traditions from farmlands go.

Now breakfast is at 6, lunch at 9
dinner at noon, lunch at 3
supper at 7, everything timed.

Day in and day out, better not be late.
Weather fickle, eating ain’t!
Farm traditions, genetics ‘grained.

No surprise, nursing meals,
wheelchairs marching, internal time,
largo moves, staccato fades.

Day in, day out…they’re not late
Wheelchairs marching, marching in
farm traditions, genetics ‘grained.

Weather fickle….eating ain’t!
Hope God keeps the schedule,
or has… a special dining hall.

As these Wheelchairs… arrive

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Lunch? You gotta be kidding. Lunch is for wimps.

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Explode

Vera's face burnt as a memory of bedroom fun
With a lighter and some hairspray
Smoking in the girls' room
Not worse than Shelley's rape behind the McDonald's
By a man she thought was fine, didn't tell anybody
Or maybe back then we just thought that she was getting some
Now we look back and see that she didn't know how
We never thought that we'd get caught up
Stuck in the teenage waste
As we explode
As we explode
As we explode
As we explode
Then getting drunk in the bushes by the road outside the Kmart
Rolling around in them to see if you would get prickled
Slip the acid on your tongue rooftop mall parkade
We couldn't get enough
Then count the stars and the ten million woes
Just you and the universe judging each other
We never knew that we'd get caught up
Stuck in the teenage waste
As we explode
As we explode
As we explode
As we let go
It's a fight, it's a fight and you finally belong
Got a shiner now and it's more than a battle scar
More than a battle scar, such a good, good story to tell
At lunch break, lunch break, lunch break, lunch break
Such a good, good story to tell
You bully, you break, you bully, you break
You fake, you fake, you fake, you fake
You smoke, you toke, you want, you flaunt, you hit it and you're in it and it's spinning
And it's wild
We never thought that we'd get caught up
Stuck in the teenage waste
As we explode
As we explode
As we explode
As we let go
We're counting the stars
We're counting the stars
We're gonna go far, we're gonna go far
We're counting the stars, we're counting the stars
We're not very far, we're not very far
And it's you and me in the open air
It's truth or dare, we don't care
We're counting the stars, we're counting the stars, we're counting the stars, we're counting the stars

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Factory

In passage of time
To a cigarette burn
In the book that I read
To the sentence I learn
Up and down
Going round
Going round till we drown again
Im gonna set myself up
Im gonna up to the top
Up to the top
To the top
Im going down to the ground
Going round
Till we drown
Going round till we drown again
Factory
Imitation of life
Factory
We all go out to lunch
A certain raion we know
Has left us unaware
Someone else has taken leave
Someone who did care
Elevators just dont crash
The answer lies within
Elevators elevators
Answer lies within
To the glittering prize
To the fool in the sky
Ive got a jewel in my eye
Im going up
Coming down
Going round
Till we drown
Going round till we drown again
To the centre of the man
Because he had a plan
He had a plan to escape
But now weve got it on tape
Going up
Coming down
Going around
Going round till we drown again
Factory
Imitation of life
Factory
We all go out to lunch
A certain raion we know
Has left us unaware
Someone else has taken leave

[...] Read more

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Lunch With Gina

That must be her again
She's leaning on my bell
That cold psychotic brain
The one I know so well
So I'm nailed to the floor in the no-option zone
There's about zero chance she'll give up and go home
This endless afternoon
It started on the day I met her
Lunch with Gina is forever
She's coming round the corner
Her body's just a blur
I peel out like The Flash
It don't mean boo to her
So I duck into Nino'sshe's barred from the place
The minute I walk out she's right in my face
She's got nothing but time
No use in trying to be clever
Lunch with Gina is forever
Now I'm in my apartment
The blinds down the lights out
The phone rings God help me
There's nobody home
I crouch on the carpet
Not breathing just being
Like meat on the bone
I'm in a cozy booth
Maybe my watch is fast
Another Tanqueray
I'll wait till twenty past
I'm about to go postal when she waltzes in
I guess she's a knockouthey where have I been?
The waiter never comes
God knows the service could be better
Lunch with Gina is forever
Coffee and a kiss
Maybe later maybe never
Lunch with Gina

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Christina and You and Home for Lunch

As you went by
the girl's playground
after getting off

the school bus
Christina called to you
through the wire fence

and said
my mother said
you can come home

for lunch today
if you like
ok

you said
where shall I meet you?
Cedric will bring you along

she said
and so when
the lunch time

recess bell rang
you followed Cedric
out of the school

and saw Christina
by the outer fence waiting
are you sure

your mother doesn't mind?
you asked
of course not

she said
Cedric walked on in front
leaving you and Christiana

to walk on behind
she talked about some girl
in her class who had a boyfriend

and claimed
to have had sex
and then she went on

about the teacher
who had been expelled

[...] Read more

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Coffee Dream

Although it’s only one hour till lunch -
my stomach won’t wait.
Non-stop growling for the past two hours
has gotten the best of me.
Besides, my taste buds
are ready to murder for a cup of coffee.
Should I say ‘murder’ in a courthouse?
I discovered myself in the eating lounge
with a coffee machine that still doesn’t work.
How unfair that I can’t leave the building
for a quick cup of coffee till lunch.
So, I resort to having the small salad and orange
that was to be my lunch.
Still, I want that coffee!
I’ll take it boiling hot
right out of the pot.
So now I look forward
to when then release us for lunch.
I plan to run down the street and get
a very large cup of coffee -
maybe two or three.
I desperately need my caffeine fix for today.

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What's for lunch?

It's ten past noon,
he lays there on his couch.
Watching television,
empty stomached.

It's thursday afternoon,
six thousand kilometers away.
She sits by her toy rock,
starved, and dehydrated.

He picks up the remote,
changes channel.
His stomach gently grumbles,
What's for lunch? he wonders.

Temperature rises past thirty-five
She fiddles with the dirt.
Her stomach endlessly roars
What's for lunch? she dreams.

Thrity minutes later
the doorbell rings.
He picks up his twenty
and pays the delivery man.

Sixty seconds later,
a beetle crawls by
she springs to her feet.
and thanks her lord

He wipes his greasy mouth
on his sleeve
and leaves his unfinished grub
and falls asleep.

She enjoys her lunch
but feels very weak.
sick and tired
she falls asleep

Two hours later
he is awakened by thunder.
throws out his leftovers
and begins to read the news.

Two minutes later
she is drenched by rain,
she looks at the sky
and opens her mouth with a smile.

[...] Read more

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Sunday Morning

Sunday morning silence, curtain stay closed late
No one thinks of kitchens mornings in a filthy state
Dishes cups and beer stains, ashtrays on the floor
Sunday morning papers are left outside the front door
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
(sunday, bloody sunday rest)
Glass of fizzy water helps to start the day
Sit and listen to sunday silence, problems fade away
Sunday cars and drivers break the morning air
Uncollected milk outside reveals theres no one there
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
Bathrobes hang in waiting, windows steaming up
Somewhere in the sink downstairs lies an unwashed cup
Tea and toast for breakfast clear away the plates
Wash-up prepare for cooking sunday lunch awaits
Sunday lunch awaits
Sunday lunch awaits

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It Just Had To Be This Way

The sound of your voice
The touch of your skin
If we go there it will start all over again
So don't even call
There's no need for checkin' in
If it's really over let it just be over
No we won't be sharin' coffee
Or havin' lunch from time to time
I won't ask about your family
Please don't ask me about mine
This is never what I wanted
And it's killin' me to say
It just has to be this way
We gave all we could
We fought the good fight
But no matter how we loved
We just couldn't get it right
It hurts to let go
But it's harder hangin' on
I don't want it to be over
We know that it's over
No we won't be sharin' coffee
Or havin' lunch from time to time
I won't ask about your family
Please don't ask me about mine
This is never what I wanted
And it's killin' me to say
It just has to be this way
And even if I change my mind
Don't let me hurt me one more time
Stay away from me
(Stay away)
Be as cold as you can be
No we won't be sharin' coffee
Or havin' lunch from time to time
I won't ask about your family
Please don't ask me about mine
This is never what I wanted
And it's killin' me to say
It just has to be this way
Oh, it just has to be this way

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It Just Has To Be This Way (feat. Vince Gill)

The sound of your voice, the touch of your skin
If we go there, it will start all over again
So don't even call, there's no need for checking in
If it's really over, let it just be over
No, we won't be sharing coffee
Or having lunch from time to time
I won't ask about your family
Please don't ask me about mine
This is never what I wanted
And it's killing me to say
It just has to be this way
We gave all we could, we fought the good fight
But no matter how we loved, we just couldn't get it right
It hurts to let go, but it's harder hangin' on
I don't want it to be over, we know that it's over
No, we won't be sharing coffe
Or having lunch from time to time
I won't ask about your family
Please don't ask me about mine
This is never what I wanted
And it's killing me to say
It just has to be this way
And even if I change my mind
Don't let me hurt me one more time
Stay away from me, be as cold as you can be
No, we won't be sharing coffe
Or having lunch from time to time
I won't ask about your family
Please don't ask me about mine
This is never what I wanted
And it's killing me to say
It just has to be this way
Oh, it just has to be this way

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The Leopard And The Mouse

Scraps of meat were thrown
into the leopard's enclosure
at the Santago Rare Leopard Project
and as Sheena went for her lunch,
a cheeky little mouse appeared
and started feasting away.
Sheena looked at the intruder,
sniffed him and tried
to nudge him away with her nose,
but the mouse took no notice
and kept chewing away.
Sheena just watched him
as at her lunch he nibbled away
making no effort to have him for her lunch.
When the mouse was full,
he just scuttled away
leaving this big cat
filled with dismay.


22 September 2009

Author’s Note:
What I have written is not fiction, but actually happened at the Santago Rare Leopard Project in Hertfordshire, England. A student caught the whole thing on camera and a friend sent a copy of them to me. The sight was so extraordinary I decided to write a poem about it and share the event with you.

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