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I prefer insomnia to anaesthesia.

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Wislawa Szymborska

Possibilities

I prefer movies.
I prefer cats.
I prefer the oaks along the Warta.
I prefer Dickens to Dostoyevsky.
I prefer myself liking people
to myself loving mankind.
I prefer keeping a needle and thread on hand, just in case.
I prefer the color green.
I prefer not to maintain
that reason is to blame for everything.
I prefer exceptions.
I prefer to leave early.
I prefer talking to doctors about something else.
I prefer the old fine-lined illustrations.
I prefer the absurdity of writing poems
to the absurdity of not writing poems.
I prefer, where love's concerned, nonspecific anniversaries
that can be celebrated every day.
I prefer moralists
who promise me nothing.
I prefer cunning kindness to the over-trustful kind.
I prefer the earth in civvies.
I prefer conquered to conquering countries.
I prefer having some reservations.
I prefer the hell of chaos to the hell of order.
I prefer Grimms' fairy tales to the newspapers' front pages.
I prefer leaves without flowers to flowers without leaves.
I prefer dogs with uncropped tails.
I prefer light eyes, since mine are dark.
I prefer desk drawers.
I prefer many things that I haven't mentioned here
to many things I've also left unsaid.
I prefer zeroes on the loose
to those lined up behind a cipher.
I prefer the time of insects to the time of stars.
I prefer to knock on wood.
I prefer not to ask how much longer and when.
I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility
that existence has its own reason for being.

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Insomnia

Im running in quicksand
Somethings haunting me
The guilty past Ive buried
My mind wont let me sleep
Ill do anything for peace - I keep waking up
A solemn oath I make
Cross my heart please let me sleep - I keep waking up
How much more do I take
My head is talking to me
I dont know what it needs
But the loudest voice
Is the one I heed
Insomnia, my swollen bloodshot eyes
Insomnia, awake till morning light
Insomnia, stirring deep inside
Insomnia, somebody turn out the lights
I cant sleep - insomnia
Im twisting and turning - I keep waking up
The madness I must tame
My candle is burning - I keep waking up
Both ends again today
The whole house is creaking
I know theyre out there
The things kept from sight
I beg to the shadows
I cant sleep
Insomnia, footsteps on the walk
Insomnia, I hear someone knock
Insomnia, I wish it was a dream
Insomnia, can you hear me scream

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~Insomnia~

No sight
Insomnia
I dream
I'm awake
I sleep
Mingle between both
Insomnia
Blurry
Fuzzy
Awake all night
I'm not alone
Insomnia
No sleep
I'm tired
Dusk is death
Dawn is suicide
Insomnia
Less sleep
I'm awake more
Time slips
Lake of sleep
Insomnia
Rain of dreams
Lucid yet unclear
I reach
Grasp nothing
Insomnia
Awake
Asleep
Both
Same time
Insomnia

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Insomnia

Reading magazines and counting sheep to pass the time away
Hoping that tomorrows gonna bring a smile home again
Images of palm trees swaying in the wind on south beach
Takes me back to better days, summer days the everglades in june
My brain, my poor brain
My brain, my poor brain
Im drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia
Flying high in golden skies, Im flicking channels in my mind
Finding my utopia a different chapter in a book
Thinking back to younger days as I escape in coopers break
It takes me back to 84 the futures knocking at my door
My brain, my poor brain
My brain, my poor brain
Im drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia Im drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia
Turning off a switch inside me, leaving all the stress behind me
Flying over streams and houses, passing over the wye valley
It takes me back to 84 the futures knocking at my door
My brain, my poor brain
Im drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia Im drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia Im drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia.

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Choices

i prefer smooth peanut butter
to crunchy
mind you
crunchy is all right
but i prefer smooth.

i prefer strawberry jam
to raspberry
mind you
raspberry is tasty
but it's got all those seeds
and i prefer strawberry.

i prefer mustard
to mayonaisse
mind you mayonaisse has it's place
amongst condiments
but is likely to go bad
if left out to long
and poison everyone
so on the whole i prefer mustard.

i prefer cooked meat
to raw meat
for much the same reason
as i prefer mustard to mayonaisse
although it also has to do
with the fact that i don't
like my meat to bleat
or moo or make chicken noises (BAGOCK!)
when i eat
so i tend to avoid the raw
though mind you
the meat that i prefer
may at some time have been raw.

i prefer not to say
why i think so
but i do
and i suppose it's all
just a matter of taste
so if you'd prefer to think so
then crunchy is better
than smooth
even if it does interfere
with the texture of the
peanut butter
and jelly (strawberry) sandwich
which ought to be somewhat
devoid of substance

[...] Read more

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Insomnia Conquered?

Suffering from difficulty sleeping?
An inability to easily fall asleep?
Or even unable to fall asleep at all?
Or to remain asleep long enough?
Enough to feel adequately rested?

You might be suffering from insomnia?

Your problem might be dread insomnia
especially when this is a problem that
continues over chronic periods of time?

The cause of course is varied.

Common causes will include
stress, marital tension, depression,
over tired, caffeine, new employment,
financial difficulties, redundancies,
work place difficulties, bereavement,

and the killer, lost love, to name but a few.

Soap operas so often dismissed
as the opium of a bored populace
sometimes achieve a stupefying
numbing, or sleep-inducing effect
soap operas insomnia conquered?


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I Prefer The Moonlight

I prefer the moonlight
When temptin eyes cross the room
Said to me Id love to be with you
Im not tempted for a moment
I just think about my woman
My baby calls me on the phone
Telling me I need to hurry home
Well the hurryin is easy
cause shes waiting up
With all the love Im needin
I prefer the moonlight, and a blanket
And the one right little lady by my side
Thats what I like
I prefer a late drive down the turnpike
With the moonlight shinin so bright
Got her by my side
Thats what Id like
When its magic moment time,
I prefer the moonlight
The river plays a quiet song
She and I lay down and play along
Shes her mothers lovely daughter
Moonlight dances on the water
The moon is full and so am i
I look at her and feel like I could cry
But my tears contain no sorrow
cause I know shell wake up by my side tomorrow
I prefer...
Mornin noon and night,
When the feelin comes around
Somewhere in some sky
That ol moon is surely shinin bright
I prefer...

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Street-Cheap-Meat

You've given me up to boost danger.
A mistake made with a stranger.
Who knocked on your door proposing,
With a cut glass rock and plated gold.

And street-cheap-meat!
Oh...
You've given me up to boost danger.
A mistake made with a stranger.
Who knocked on your door proposing,
With a cut glass rock and plated gold.

Our minds were united,
And tight for a lifetime.
We sought for that right time...
When we'd be together,
Forever and ever.

Our minds were united,
And tight for a lifetime.
We sought for that right time...
When we'd be together,
Forever and ever.

But,
You've given me up to boost danger.
A mistake made with a stranger.
Who knocked on your door proposing,
With a cut glass rock and plated gold.

And street-cheap-meat!
Oh...
Our minds were united,
And tight for a lifetime.
We sought for that right time...
When we'd be together,
Forever and ever.
But you prefer street-cheap-meat.

Our minds were united,
And ripe for that lifetime.
But you prefer street-cheap-meat.

Our minds were united,
And ripe for that lifetime.
But you prefer street-cheap-meat.

Our minds were united,
And ripe for that lifetime.
But you prefer street-cheap-meat.

[...] Read more

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Hyper-insomniaparachondriod

Silence is screaming in my head
So called repeat
Not much longer Ill be dead
So just forget me
Im losing my mind
I dont think you can save me this time
And it goes on and on and I just feel helpless
How long will this take to go
On and on when will I get through this?
Welcome to my own doubt and doubt
Im crawling deeper in this hole
Soon disaster
Im gripping what I thought control
Was falling faster
Im losing my mind
I dont think you can save me this time
And it goes on and on and I just feel helpless
How long will this take to go
On and on when will I get through this?
Welcome to my own doubt and doubt
Its dragging on
Im wearing thin
I cant stop these walls they keep caving in
Its gone too far
Wheres my mind?
Why cant I stop feeling this paranoia?
Its hyper insomnia
Dont you mess with me
Its hyper insomnia
Dont you start with me
And it goes on and on and I just feel helpless
How long will this take to go
On and on when will I get through this?
Welcome to my own doubt and doubt
Welcome to my own doubt and doubt
Welcome to my own doubt and doubt
Welcome to my own doubt and doubt

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A Letter To Amira

It's 5am here and you are drunk on white Russian's asking me if I am broken?
Now's way too early for painful memories and sweet nostalgia,
Too early to think of lost friends and broken hearts.
When I was a child I used to hold my sister in my arms, protecting her from the psychological abuse of having two warring parents use our home as an epic battleground.
The first taste I had of loss was when my grandfather Antonis had died.
My parents broke his heart when they divorced and he spent the following year drinking bottles of whisky until his liver was scarred beyond recognition.
At seventeen I was so full of insecurities and bad memories I contemplated suicide so many times I'm surprised I ever reached eighteen.
I remember listening to insomnia when I really had insomnia when my friend fell from the rooftops to his death,
Or the sadness of Maria the angelic looking school teacher that didn't eat for six months and then discovered she had stomach cancer,
Or knowing that I once had a brother who shared my name and died before I was born my ex would swear that she spoke to him in her dreams,
Why would I even want to venture the recesses of my soul to bring these scars back up to the liquid surface of my mind?
Why should I show you that all human beings are vulnerable you must know this?
I remember the faces of all the girls that touched my heart there laughter and tears,
Each one still has a piece of my heart and I a piece of there's
Some merely travel with us in our memories others haunt us in our dreams.
What of my innocent Athena the victim of two parents who no longer loved one another.
Walking out on her that day the trauma of leaving makes all the other things pale in comparison.
We are estranged now if she were to see me her soft cotton brain would not even recall how I used to hold her on my belly and stroke her hair.
Then there was Athena my daughter's aunty who as a diabetic got gangrene in her leg and suffered the indignity of learning about her husband's infidelity,
The doctors amputated her limb and she screamed at night for morphine...I will not even tell you how this story ends because it is too grueling,

So what then Amira do you wish to bare your soul to me...I will not ask that of you because I know that you too are damaged,
It was the dark painful photograph of you and your eloquence that inspired me to contact you,
Perhaps you were a kindred soul reaching out to me,
Everything is connected in some strange way-Every action leads us down a path way that has a small surprise,
But you are the greatest surprise of all...a big booming explosive beautiful surprise!

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Boris Pasternak

Marburg

I quivered. I flared up, and then was extinguished.
I shook. I had made a proposal - but late,
Too late. I was scared, and she had refused me.
I pity her tears, am more blessed than a saint.

I stepped into the square. I could be counted
Among the twice-born. Every leaf on the lime,
Every brick was alive, caring nothing for me,
And reared up to take leave for the last time.

The paving-stones glowed and the street's brow was swarthy,
From under their lids the cobbles looked grim,
Scowled up at the sky, and the wind like a boatman
Was rowing through limes. And each was an emblem.

Be that as it may, I avoided their glances,
Averted my gaze from their greeting or scowling.
I wanted no news of their getting and spending.
I had to get out, so as not to start howling.

The tiles were afloat, and an unblinking noon
Regarded the rooftops. And someone, somewhere
In Marburg, was whistling, at work on a crossbow,
And someone else dressing for the Trinity fair.

Devouring the clouds, the sand showed yellow,
A storm wind was rocking the bushes to and fro,
And the sky had congealed where it touched a sprig
Of woundwort that staunched its flow.

Like any rep Romeo hugging his tragedy,
I reeled through the city rehearsing you.
I carried you all that day, knew you by heart
From the comb in your hair to the foot in your shoe.

And when in your room I fell to my knees,
Embracing this mist, this perfection of frost
(How lovely you are!), this smothering turbulence,
What were you thinking? 'Be sensible!' Lost!

Here lived Martin Luther. The Brothers Grimm, there.
And all things remember and reach out to them:
The sharp-taloned roofs. The gravestones. The trees.
And each is alive. And each is an emblem.

I shall not go tomorrow. Refusal -
More final than parting. We're quits. áll is clear.
And if I abandon the streetlamps, the banks -
Old pavingstones, what will become of me here?

[...] Read more

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Insomnia:A Sextet

On Reading Cioran

Leaf caught in a branch of ice,
I am unsleeping,
heroic,
neither dead, nor dreaming,
awake.

I exist when I
don't sleep,
it makes me feel
you there,
me watched.

You think because you
are not God,
I don't know you.

But I've been here as long as you,
I know the territory:
(it's yours and mine) ,
our marriage is
the first map.

II
The Insomnia of Galaxies

is archipelagos
not knowing where they end,
but swirling by each other endlessly,
sleepless
a sea of one accident succeeding another,
moons circling moons,
breath succeeding breath,

sleep, you, sleep, in stillness rest.

III
Virtual Insomnia

Sleepless,
a picture of Giacometti's
Woman Standing stands on the sill,
next to dead roses and a clock.
On a chair, a book propped-open, wide-awake,
shows a woman Utamaro drew once.
Absent-minded,
she sticks a toothpick
through closed lips.

[...] Read more

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Curiosity Thy Name Is Ugliness

Those days,
The words and paths accompanied me.
Those days,
The words and insomnia were my companions.
How long and whereto
The carnal body goes along.
I am the every feature of mountains,
Oceans and wilderness.
My breath is the dew resting on leaves,
And Lo! Winds are busy
In wiping out my glistening foot-prints.

Look at my eyes,
They contain silence,
Of hundreds of extinguished grates
Once glaring bold.
I roamed bearing an inferno
In my breaths and thoughts,
Hauling my beacon of desire
Coated with blood.
I made my eyes still in familiarity
Of sleepless solitude amid ruins.
I shouted timely or untimely,
Town to town in front of every door,
In the eve or morn like blazing winds.
All said, "Who are you? "
I responded, "I am a desire,
Abyss of lust is my abode,
I am despised of light and truth."
"Is there anyone whose door unbolts for me? "
I yelled aloud.
Then an offspring of light
Responded with total anguish
"Come! See me! I am the one whom you long for."
But I ever unheeded to my thoughts
My apprehensions every time
Looked through the window in front,
There stood a Geraldine with hair,
Loose mangled, blood layered,
And she gazed at everything of the world.
Thus truth revealed,
"Curiosity thy name is ugliness."

The essence of our journey is that here
Is nothing except futile sweat
We all are imprisoned
Of the boundary-lines drawn by us,
And each of us is encaged
Of the rim he has drawn himself.
Life went on in the same mode,

[...] Read more

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Insomnia A Blessing Curse

insomnia
vibrations dissimilar
spectral shade

ink etching insights
roaming ghost nights
may be blessings

for chosen youths
swapping day for night
forsaking sunlight

hanging out friends
meeting heart pulse legions
in night clubs parties

social orbs
circles bonds
interactions

night spun webs
spin vision dreams
heighten emotions

work career endeavour
meteor blazing flight
ionizing illuminating night

heartbeats thought waves
shape minds dissimilar
awe originality inspires

what achievements
rock solar systems
seeding organic lives?

insomnia
reflective time insights
laces prolific energies

in youths dreams
energies boundless
shape birth empires

research knowledge arts
glitter await hand grasps
worlds caught internets

flashes illuminate nights
age withers crystal energies

[...] Read more

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I Prefer Crazed Blue Eyes

I prefer crazed blue eyes
How they
Magnetize
The ache
I have
To make your insanity
My own

I prefer crazed blue eyes
Won't
Apologize
How I take
Your flesh
And make your absurdity
My home

I prefer crazed blue eyes
Don't you
Realize?
Nutcase
Lover
Wackity wack wackify
My soul

Let me look into your
Anarchic mind
Transfixed by those
Wild baby blues

Let's share the final
Gasps of time
While we wear
Each other's shoes

Let me hold your body
In such strange ways
Even monkeys
Would be ashamed

Let's meld our chaos
Lunatic babe
One body joined
Perverse, deranged

I prefer crazed blue eyes
Delirious blues
In the way they
Stare at me
All Sturm und Drang
Staring

[...] Read more

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No Memo From You Did I Receive

What would 'you' prefer?
That I pretend I am not a writer,
With an interest that is expressed.
Or would you prefer I stay within boundaries,
Your mind has restricted to your limitedness?

Or would you prefer,
I reflect more of what you suspect I should be?
And would your suspicions have their development,
Centered from your perceptions?
Either way,
No memo from you did I receive.

And I admit,
Guessing is not what I do best.
And the only tests I 'prefer' to pass,
Are my own.

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Some Prefer What's On The Surface

It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
With a getting to be done and quick.

It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
With a getting to be done,
Before they run.

Some prefer what's on the surface,
And not below it to pick.
Some prefer what's on the surface,
With no thought attached to it.
Some prefer what's on the surface,
Since it's easier to get.
Without a picking up to leave to then split.

It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
With a getting to be done and quick.

It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
To pick up,
To leave to then split.

And many will prefer it to sit.
With...
A caring less of meaning in it.
Or...
Discovering themselves,
A meaninglessness.

No one wishes to discover,
A meaning exists.
Or bother to uncover,
A meaninglessness.

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Meg Ryan

The best thing about modern living is anaesthesia.

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Loves anaesthesia
Puts to sleep malignant hates,
More love will kill it

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I Know Me

It was a freak accident of epithelium
under anaesthesia.
You place a window
on to a hollow brain.

The money makes the monkey out of you.
A green light
blocks the fish, your memory,
to swim in black thoughts.

The yellow rose burns
in your hand. It was beginning of
a domestic race. The nightmares will
take care of the sleep.

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