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You can't take up golf on a whim and find yourself competing against Tiger Woods in the Masters six months later.

quote by Richard Roeper
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Adrienne Vittadini

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poem by Caasder Fronds
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Handles Bermuda

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Luggage Canada

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Trash Bag

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Fitration Bags

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Tiger Woods & The Lynching Noose

What an ugly uproar about the noose around Tiger’s neck,
Growing tighter every single day because he chooses to forget,
A story over 2000 years old about a man and the world He forgave,
Whether you believe it or not it’s only by His sacrifice we are saved.

Am I trying to compare Tiger to Jesus? That would be absurd,
Why is everyone so upset by the saying of the 'lynching' word?
Then again, maybe it is not the word rather it’s the entire phrase,
The only way to keep it going is by talking about it day after day.

Exactly what in the world makes this particular Tiger so great?
The racism he has encountered filling his heart and mind with hate?
That would be impossible growing up with Jack Nickalus on his wall,
Certainly not the way he so gently strokes a short putt on the golf ball.

No, this animal is ferocious because he knows exactly when to attack,
The perfect time to strike and the proper time to relax and hold back,
Worlds number 1, again and again the undisputed player of the year,
What makes this Tiger rise above everyone else is that he has no fear.

Eagles that fly high above don’t spend time on the ground with birds,
So, why should he come down to earth and defend himself over words?
Sure, it was an unfortunate mistake but since Eldrick wants to move on,
Who has the right to make less than five seconds last so very, very long?

If Woods was the kind of person to hold a grudge and harbor pain,
The golfing world or anyone for that matter would not know his name,
Many a promising career has been stifled looking for others to blame,
Here’s another thought, what if Jesus spoke and a thousand angles came?

Slavery is supposedly over but in most minds it can’t be that easy to mend,
For everything that has a beginning there is a middle followed by the end,
OK, Kelly Tilghman said it, she apologized, and this incident is over when?
The exact moment Tiger accepted her responsibility saying, “She’s a friend, ”

Spousal & child abuse, drunk drivers, sexual slavery, genocide in Kenya is unjust,
The war Americans should not be in, drug addiction, gas prices, much to discuss,
Unscrupulous politicians and other leaders behind closed doors we cannot trust,
Some automobile makers selling cars then after three years on the road they rust.

It’s not the first incident between this Black vs. White and certainly not the last,
However, no person or race will experience forward progress living in the past,
Yes, it’s true that when you do not know history, greater the chance for a repeat,
But, when harboring malice in your heart revenge becomes bitter not sweet.

A family man now with a lot more on his mind like a wife and baby girl,
If the child had been born a boy there’s no doubt his name would be Earl,
There are many other concerns, how about the failure of public education?
Especially in inner city neighborhoods, what about that racial intimidation?

[...] Read more

poem by Luke Easter
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Tiger

Tiger with coat of dissimilar stripes,
When he’s angry, tiger swipes,
Tiger cautious, guarding his lair,
Danger lurking, tiger aware.

Tiger hungry so he hunts,
Facing quarry, tiger confronts.
Tiger waiting, being sly,
Undercover, no tiger espy.

Tiger detects, now he purrs,
Hunger pangs, tiger stirs.
Tiger quick, must now surprise,
Here we have one tiger, wise.

Tiger from his throat he roars,
Stretching out those tiger claws.
Tiger moving, stealthy pelt,
Expiration, by tiger dealt.

Tiger now with belly filled,
Anger passed, one tiger stilled.
Tiger sleeping, with the Pride,
Craving gone, tiger satisfied.

Tiger such a majestic sight,
Near extinction, tiger fight.
Tiger beautiful and fine,
You’re such a leonine feline.

Tiger we must have respect, ,
For your great tiger intellect.

poem by Ernestine Northover
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Taming The Tiger

I stepped outside to breathe the air
And stare up at the stars
Big dipper hanging there
Over the rented car
Over the rented car
Im a runaway from the record biz
From the hoods in the hood and the whiny white kids
Boring!
The old man is snoring
And Im taming the tiger
(you cant tame the tiger)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Nice, kitty kitty
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Sophia says its hard to catch
And harder still to ride
The time to watch the beast the best
Is when its purring at your side
Purring at your side
Accolades and honors
One false move and youre a goner
Boring!
The old man is snoring
And Im taming the tiger
(you cant tame the tiger)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Nice, kitty kitty
Tiger, tiger burning bright
In the forest of the night
The moon shed light
On my hopeless plight
As the radio blared so bland
Every disc, a poker chip
Every song just a one night stand
Formula music, girly guile
Genuine junkfood for juveniles
Up and down the dial
Mercenary style
I watched the stars chuck down their spears
And a plane went blinking by
And I thought of anna
Wild and dear
Like fireworks in the sky
Fireworks in the sky
Im so sick of this game
Its hip, its hot
Lifes too short, the whole things gotten
Boring!
The old man is snoring
And Im taming the tiger

[...] Read more

song performed by Joni Mitchell
Added by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament

Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head

Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants

Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat

Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys

Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.

Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.

Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?

Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails

Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats

But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!

poem by Larry Buddin
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Tiger Woods' His Eagle Has Landed Due To Sex & Buddha?

Amazingly the Eagle has unofficially landed on Wednesday12/02/2009,
An accident early Thanksgiving Day clipped Tiger’s wings in his prime,
What is it that brought down this bird flying above the stars set on high?
Well, lets just say that even in a Cadillac SUV, Eagles should not drive.

The only thing that could even remotely make this mortal an average guy,
No one alive is immune from everyday sins and transgressions here’s why,
The higher you climb the more jealously seals your coffin with a rusty nail,
And his human persona was undermined by an indiscretionary voice mail.

There’s more to this incident but exactly what is the bottom line going to be?
Great as Mr. Woods is he’s no different away from his fame as you and me,
The evil one is equally as busy on millionaires as he is on dollars and cents,
That is right! Whether you own a mansion on in an apartment you owe rent.

Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsk and the “dress” Eldrick did obviously forget,
The President of the most powerful country had to face the nation in regret,
If only Eve hadn’t eaten the apple there might not have been over 300 text,
Doing what none in the world could do he put a noose around his own neck.

Somewhere there is a phrase about, “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, ”
Being a Stanford grad and past history you would think he was forewarned,
Soon the walls began to crumble, the story leaks, when the end approaches,
Alleged lovers and all the tabloids begin to appear like an army of roaches.

There will be many twists, takes, turns to this incident, here is yet another,
Tiger was estranged from his father Earl for fooling around on his mother,
Okay! Please remember to be careful when you dig a pit for someone else.
Why? Because more often than not you just might fall in that ditch yourself.

Mark 8: 36, 'What shall it profit to gain the whole world and lose your soul? ”
It’s very unfortunate that there’ll be many first hand who will come to know,
So, if you think it is all about money, your title or prestige better think again,
And start with the love of GOD, your family, the church and faithful friends.

Lust has nothing to do with love, just selfishness, control and mucho greed,
I do not want you to have Elin sweetie because I only want you to have me,
But! Now that the cat’s out of the bag I simply have to sell my story honey,
After all sugar it was never really about you it was always about your money.

As these women do talk shows and the covers of Star and People Magazine,
Every strand of hair in place, perfect make-up and teeth professionally clean,
With hankies sobbing, “we’re good girls, not home wreckers” oh yes you are,
And if life was scored like the game of golf you’d all be 2,000+ years over par.

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger the most recognized face on this earth or any other planet,
It’s tame next to the Super Bowl breast of the 2nd most famous Jackson, Janet,
Endorsements have catapulted you to the stratosphere where there is higher loft,
And now you know what all humans know, that there is more to life than golf.

[...] Read more

poem by Luke Easter
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The Tale of the Tiger-Tree

A Fantasy, dedicated to the little poet Alice Oliver Henderson, ten years old.

The Fantasy shows how tiger-hearts are the cause of war in all ages. It shows how the mammoth forces may be either friends or enemies of the struggle for peace. It shows how the dream of peace is unconquerable and eternal.

I

Peace-of-the-Hea rt, my own for long,
Whose shining hair the May-winds fan,
Making it tangled as they can,
A mystery still, star-shining yet,
Through ancient ages known to me
And now once more reborn with me: —

This is the tale of the Tiger Tree
A hundred times the height of a man,
Lord of the race since the world began.

This is my city Springfield,
My home on the breast of the plain.
The state house towers to heaven,
By an arsenal gray as the rain...
And suddenly all is mist,
And I walk in a world apart,
In the forest-age when I first knelt down
At your feet, O Peace-of-the-Heart.

This is the wonder of twilight:
Three times as high as the dome
Tiger-striped trees encircle the town,
Golden geysers of foam.
While giant white parrots sail past in their pride.
The roofs now are clouds and storms that they ride.
And there with the huntsmen of mound-builder days
Through jungle and meadow I stride.
And the Tiger Tree leaf is falling around
As it fell when the world began:
Like a monstrous tiger-skin, stretched on the ground,
Or the cloak of a medicine man.
A deep-crumpled gossamer web,
Fringed with the fangs of a snake.
The wind swirls it down from the leperous boughs.
It shimmers on clay-hill and lake,
With the gleam of great bubbles of blood,
Or coiled like a rainbow shell....
I feast on the stem of the Leaf as I march.
I am burning with Heaven and Hell.

II

[...] Read more

poem by Vachel Lindsay
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Tiger, Tiger

Tiger one to tiger two
Tiger one says I love you
Tiger two does not reply
So tiger one, he starts to cry

Tiger two says why you cry?
Tiger one says 'you did not reply'
Tiger two says I need not to
Tiger one says why?

Tiger two says i love you
Tiger one says i love you too
Tiger one says why oh why?
Why didnt you reply?

Tiger two says I love you
I don't have to say it
You know its true
Now you know the reason why
Tiger two did not reply

Tiger one realises why
Tiger two did not reply
So tiger one he starts to smile
And says tiger two is very fine

For tiger two is my dearest babe
Whome I think of everyday
And tiger two I cannot wait
To see your pretty face again

poem by Mark Eyre
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The mother and the artist

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of wonderfully emollient freshness; every
unfurling instant of impregnably magnificent existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of spellbindingly undefeated innocence; every
unfurling instant of symbiotically pristine existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of timelessly unconquerable truth; every unfurling
instant of bounteously magnanimous existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of unfathomably unfettered creativity; every
unfurling instant of timelessly burgeoning existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of royally triumphant resplendence; every
unfurling instant of unconquerably majestic existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of eternally exhilarating vivaciousness; every
unfurling instant of redolently insuperable existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of unbelievably ameliorating optimism; every
unfurling instant of marvelously benign existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of brilliantly liberated camaraderie; every
unfurling instant of iridescently inscrutable existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of unshakably virgin righteousness; every
unfurling instant of beautifully untainted existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of uninhibitedly heavenly frolic; every unfurling
instant of tantalizingly sensuous existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of compassionately humanitarian friendship; every
unfurling instant of magically mitigating existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of miraculously everlasting freshness; every
unfurling instant of invincibly coalescing existence,

A mother might bear just a single child in 9 months; but an artist blossoms
into an infinite children of pricelessly ubiquitous oneness; every unfurling

[...] Read more

poem by Nikhil Parekh
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Epithalamion

YE learned sisters, which have oftentimes
Beene to me ayding, others to adorne,
Whom ye thought worthy of your gracefull rymes,
That even the greatest did not greatly scorne
To heare theyr names sung in your simple layes,
But joyed in theyr praise;
And when ye list your owne mishaps to mourne,
Which death, or love, or fortunes wreck did rayse,
Your string could soone to sadder tenor turne,
And teach the woods and waters to lament
Your dolefull dreriment:
Now lay those sorrowfull complaints aside;
And, having all your heads with girlands crownd,
Helpe me mine owne loves prayses to resound;
Ne let the same of any be envide:
So Orpheus did for his owne bride!
So I unto my selfe alone will sing;
The woods shall to me answer, and my Eccho ring.

Early, before the worlds light-giving lampe
His golden beame upon the hils doth spred,
Having disperst the nights unchearefull dampe,
Doe ye awake; and, with fresh lusty-hed,
Go to the bowre of my beloved love,
My truest turtle dove;
Bid her awake; for Hymen is awake,
And long since ready forth his maske to move,
With his bright Tead that flames with many a flake,
And many a bachelor to waite on him,
In theyr fresh garments trim.
Bid her awake therefore, and soone her dight,
For lo! the wished day is come at last,
That shall, for all the paynes and sorrowes past,
Pay to her usury of long delight:
And, whylest she doth her dight,
Doe ye to her of joy and solace sing,
That all the woods may answer, and your eccho ring.

Bring with you all the Nymphes that you can heare
Both of the rivers and the forrests greene,
And of the sea that neighbours to her neare:
Al with gay girlands goodly wel beseene.
And let them also with them bring in hand
Another gay girland
For my fayre love, of lillyes and of roses,
Bound truelove wize, with a blew silke riband.
And let them make great store of bridale poses,
And let them eeke bring store of other flowers,
To deck the bridale bowers.
And let the ground whereas her foot shall tread,

[...] Read more

poem by Edmund Spenser
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Tiger

The city is a jungle, you better take care
Never walk alone after midnight
If you dont believe it you better beware
Of me
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
The city is a nightmare, a horrible dream
Some of us will dream it forever
Look around the corner and try not to scream
Its me
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
Yellow eyes are glowing like the neon lights
Yellow eyes, the spotlights of the city nights
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
The city is a prison, you never escape
Youre forever trapped in the alleys
Look into the shadows and youll see the shape
Of me
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
Yellow eyes are glowing like the neon lights
Yellow eyes, the spotlights of the city nights
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
And if I meet you, what if I eat you, I am the tiger
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
Tiger, tiger, tiger!

song performed by ABBA
Added by Lucian Velea
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Tiger Eye

Tiger Eye Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye is here to spy
Oh Tiger Eye who's here to spy
My darling Tiger Eye I look in your eyes
Oh Tiger Eye you are like magic
Yes dear Tiger Eye
I believe when I look in your eyes
You give me hope
You give me strength
Oh dear Tiger Eye

Tiger Eye Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye is here to spy
Oh Tiger Eye who's here to spy
My darling Tiger Eye I look in your eyes
Oh Tiger Eye you have a spell
Yes dear Tiger Eye
A spell you cast when I look in your eyes
You give me hope
You give me strength
Oh dear Tiger Eye

poem by Camilla Fodgaard
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Tiger By The Tail

What a shock it was so surprising
You looked so small and frail
I didnt know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
People said that you must be joking
You let emotions run away with you
I realized a little too late
I bit off more than I could chew
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
At times life can be so enlightening
But it can turn on you
Lately it gets so complicated i
I dont know what the tiger will do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail

song performed by Rick Springfield
Added by Lucian Velea
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IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME

TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS

Hit the ball as U should

Ere the Golf Stick skidded

And U in the Woods ended

Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide

Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried

Alas your 'misses' your family dread

And many a tear dropp you dead

Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come

When Your Wife has given you ultimatum

It's either me or GOLF you choose

And mend your ways or both your loose

'On my terms' if U want the kids and me

Coz I love you so much honey

I am not to touch the GOLF BALL

NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....

TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.

poem by Intensive KS1
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Is there a Tiger in the Woods? or 7 and counting Over Par or Green, Green, Green They Say on the Far Side of the Hill

I was about to not do an observation on the indiscretions of Tiger Woods,
After all, I was with many faults myself.
But being his pubic, uhhm, public image it warrants what people think,
Of his 'coulds', 'woulds' and 'shoulds'.
What a Thanksgiving meal the Woods' had.
After which, at 2: 30 in the Friday morning,
Tiger hit tree, not with a golf ball, but with his Cadillac Escalade.
To add insult to injury, he got into the rough by plowing into a fire hydrant.
That was only the tip of iceberg, so to speak, an continuing charade in a parade.
Tiger Woods wants to be in seclusion right now.
Impossible!
With many women claiming to be his mistresses,
-one in each 'port',
Make that 'tournament'.
The TODAY Show featured a breaking story,
about a woman from Tiger's home,
- that had to go to the hospital for the public knowledge and entertainment.
How many women did Tiger 'birdie'?
7 and counting, Prancer, Dancer, Comet and Cupid-forgive me, wrong story,
(Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Holly Sampson, Cori Rist, Mindy Lawton, and Jamie Jungers) .
According to Johnny Carson's interview with Jack Nicholas,
A prolific golfer by name,
--did Tiger encounter the same?
Jack Nicholas was being interviewed by Johnny Carson. He asked if there was anything that Mrs. Nicholas did to help her husband. 'She kisses my golf balls before every game.' And Carson answered, 'Doesn't that make your putter flutter? '
Tiger gets $100 million dollars of endorsements per year.
So much for 'skins' game with hardly a cheer.
One should be on the 'fairway' in his or her mind.
Not a sand trap, or in the water, he had appeared to be near-sighted, almost blind.
So much for the Merry Christmas in the Woods' household.
Tiger is going to get coal in his stocking is what I'm told.

12-8-09

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Healthy Back Bag

animated bag of chips
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amazing bag grace pipe
altieri bags

[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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