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I'm a different person off the court than I am on the court, where I'm very competitive, a perfectionist, and I can be hard on myself sometimes. Off the court, nothing really bothers me. I'm easy-going.

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0303 Diary of a Poem

The Indians have a word for it, of course -
'sphota' - not too unlike our 'photo-flash' -
meaning, an explosion in consciousness:
as you recognise it in a flash, it's not yet words,
barely an idea; just that curious urge, for it to be;

You try to get it down - the first verse is a mess,
just like your bedroom as you try to pack
a weekend case that covers everything -
but you really need it, all the same, to get to second base.

You don't know where it's going, but
your intentions are - the best;
and if Dame Fortune smiles
(a clichayed phrase, but who else can you blame?)
there comes that moment when

some mechanism in the mind
slips into auto-pilot: and you don't know
whether the words which now are lining up
are true or untrue; inspired poetry, or the mind's
rubbish-bin; just like a radio that's not been tuned;
but better something, as you think,
than nothing... then, that joy-ride stops,
as if you'd floated in some breeze-blown, fine hot-air balloon
and the moment that your feet touched solid ground,
the memory of the ride itself is gone...

Better sleep on it; you'll be
a slightly different person in the morning:
you may be grateful; groan; or get quite fond of it.

It's all in the lap-top of the gods.

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Nothing Really Matters

When I was very young
Nothing really mattered to me
But making myself happy
I was the only one

Now that I am grown
Everything's changed
I'll never be the same
Because of you

Chorus:

Nothing really matters
Love is all we need
Everything I give you
All comes back to me

Looking at my life
It's very clear to me
I lived so selfishly
I was the only one

I realize
That nobody wins
Something is ending
And something begins

(chorus

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There is nothing really ever to fear

Fear is regression
regression is pain
pain turns sweet sunshine into bitter rain
take my hand my dear
for there is nothing to fear

Fear is anguish
anguish is sorrow
sorrow is but a deep hole so hollow
let this not be the end of me
hold me tight and set me free
oh embrace me so close, so near
for there is nothing really ever to fear

Fear is destruction
destruction is chaos
chaos is a cynical and unruly boss
that can become your surpressive master
do not let fear take control
of the every corner of your innocent soul

Take my hand oh my dear
hold me so very near
for there is nothing that we should ever fear!

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There is nothing really ever to fear

Fear is regression
regression is pain
pain turns sweet sunshine into bitter rain
take my hand my dear
for there is nothing to fear

Fear is anguish
anguish is sorrow
sorrow is but a deep hole so hollow
let this not be the end of me
hold me tight and set me free
oh embrace me so close, so near
for there is nothing really ever to fear

Fear is destruction
destruction is chaos
chaos is a cynical and unruly boss
that can become your surpressive master
do not let fear take control
of the every corner of your innocent soul

Take my hand oh my dear
hold me so very near
for there is nothing that we should ever fear!

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Life For The Living, Nothing More!

he lies awake,
the room cold and dark....
except for moonlight pouring

through the curtainless window....
she lies naked, wrapped into
every pore of him,

their breath hanging like small clouds.
the smell of love and woodsmoke,
the heartbeat of silence

resonates off bare walls....
no money, little food, tomorrow
to look for work......always tomorrow!

the sound of gunfire, and children's voices
haunt the back of memory forgotten.....
they called it history, the great change....

maybe just looking to fill the pot!
but for now just now,
the moment stolen and precious....

life for the living, nothing more.
he turned and wiped the hair from her face....
prayed the minutes would be slow,

watching her sleep!

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O the Darkness I Really Appreciate You Being with Me!

O the darkness I really appreciate you being with me!
Light shows us all the miseries
And what else?
Debts, Bills, Funerals, Wars, Rapings
Exploitation and much more!
Yes, Judas, Barabbas and some racketeers
Still carry fire underneath the clear crystal waters!
And poor living Buddhas and Jesuses
Beg on the road under the burning Sun?
But night the darkness
You give me pleasant dreams.
I loved the richest Woman in the World
But before I wake up eloped with her Washerwoman!
In the dawn I saw a *blue butterfly rests on a Chrysanthemum
And I heard the little whisper.
'Master! Light & Darkness two different souls.'
'Yes my dear and how could I touch your soft wings
With these hellish fingers and you're belong to a World of puritans! '


(for the poetess Lynda Robson in gratitude!)

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The Child Is Gone

Darling, give me your absence tonight
Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white
Let me sink in the silence that echoes inside
And dont bother leaving the light on
cuz I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand oer a strange inversion
A vacancy that just did not belong
The child is gone
Honey help me out of this mess
Im a stranger to myself
But dont reach for me, Im too far away
I dont wanna talk cuz theres nothing left to say
So my
Darling, give me your absence tonight
Take all of your sympathy and leave it outside
cuz theres no kind of loving that can make this all right
Im trying to find a place I belong
And I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand over a strange inversion
As the darkness turns into the dawn
The child is gone
The child is gone

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Little person in the well

Little person in the well
Why are you still here
Is life so hard to look at
You must linger here

Must you be out of sight
From something with no eyes

Little person in the well
Why are you still here
Is life so hard to look upon
That you must linger here

Little person in the shadows
Why are you sitting here
Is life so hard to look upon
That you must hide in the shadows

Must you hide so nothing can find you
When nothing's searching

Little person in the shadows
Why are you sitting here
Is life so hard to look upon
That you must hide in the shadows

Little person running on
Why don't you ever stop
Is life so hard to look upon
That you must keep running from it

You run from every thing
When nobody's chasing you

Little person running on
Why don't you ever stop
Is life so hard to look upon
That you must keep running from it

The little person in the well
Has a secret to share
The little person hiding in the dark
Has a secret to be told
The little person always running
Has a secret thats never been heard

The little people that you hear of
Are just like me

March 2006

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The first thing I think of when I hear the name of Lucille Ball is a Hollywood legend. I have fond memories of growing up at her house, but she was a different person off the set than she was on the set.

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Easy Going Father

my easy-going father in heaven
you have taught me much

let me not lose such
let me not regress

instead - progress
do much good
as you recommended
with humor and fun
let that be my jesus food

thanks, dude!

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Emerging From The Water, Enameled In Slime

We are stuck on ten second cycles
like the spinning of the earth
nothing really changes.
Forces change,
ages change,
animals cannot.
We continue adding layers
words and manners and ideas
and warmth will cover
until someone fires a warning shot
and all falls away

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The Part That Really Matters

Don't get me wrong
Don't mind you shouting
Just think your style excludes
The part that really matters
Just grow tired
Of empty minds mouthing
English language courses
While they struggle with the a b c of heart
And i confess
That all i've learnt
Has been learnt a million times
By every empty heart
That ever felt a song come home
But i'd he happy
When next i ask the time
11 i find i've wasted none of mine
Listening while you wasted all of yours.

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Sometimes When I Have Nothing To Say

sometimes when i have nothing to say
like the silence of the closed window
or the nights on the grass
or the twinkle of the stars... i feel so full
and when i get so full, i feel like
vomiting my existence,
i am nauseous to this hiding, sometimes
i want to say it all, and then i become so empty
and when empty i float, i feel like i am nothing but air,
and then i surrender again
to the walls.... talking and talking to the walls
and i do not really care about the rumors that they have ears.

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The Sea And The River....

the dialogue has its twists and turns
it is like a river winding its way
to the sea, and those who pass by
do not really notice that they have
stepped upon the running water
for eight times already,
just like our talk, it is going round and round
less sounder,
so trivial, it is always revolving around
a mountain, wanting to
escape into the sea
and meet the salt of its body,
but until when?
there is so much delay for our real purpose
until it rains
and the river bloated its body
and the sea showed
a tsunami and everything we have
and adore
are all in an instant taken away
because we do not really know what we want
perhaps
that is the way we really want it
not meeting
always going....

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The One That Really Matters

I know your mind like the back of my hand,
A race that I ran before,
Are you so blind that youd turn your back
On love and slam the door,
If youre searching for something more,
Have a good time,
But if youd follow your heart,
Youre gonna find that im...
*the one, the one,
The one that really matters,
The one that really cares,
The one, when your whole world is shattered,
Snap your fingers and Ill be there.*
Theres someone new,
Hes your brand new toy,
You could break that poor boy in two,
If thats your style,
I should have known from the start,
This heart wants no part of you,
But if youre still the same girl I knew,
All in good time,
Youre gonna follow your heart,
And youre gonna find Im still...
( * repeat)

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Rumi's silence

Rumi wrote much about silence.
Does that seem strange?

Poets live with silence:
the silence before the poem;
the silence whence the poem comes; .

the silence in between the words, as you
drink the words, watch them glide through your mind,
feel them slide down your throat
towards your heart;

the silence which you share with the poet
when the poem ends, sitting side by side,
feeling one another being one heart;

the silence after the poem,
when you are a different person
from the person who started reading the poem,
think differently, move differently,
act differently; know Rumi a little better
as a friend; know yourself a little more
as a friend.

Rumi was asked, why do you
talk, talk, talk, so much
about silence?

He said, the radiant one inside me
has said nothing.

And that’s the silence which we listen to
and hear in Rumi’s heart,
here, sitting in the cool shade
which the scent of roses seems to love,
while the fountain gently plays like a poet
with sound and silence.

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I Can See The Evidence Of That

Yes...
Of course,
I do remember you.
And all the fun we had back then...
In those days as children spent,
We together knew.

But to say I wish to reminisce,
Each one of those days...
That are now hazed by the effects of time,
Have been from both of us distanced.
I know it has from my mind.

To expect I will spend time trying to recall them,
Is a bit ridiculous.
Since for me...
I have had so many varied experiences.
That has made us both different people.
I've grown and developed a broader consciousness.
And it would be hard for me to do that with you.

'Is that so?
Well,
I am going to stay exactly the way I am!
I 'aint' changing for nobody.
No-Bah-dee! .
Thas wassup, 'P'...
You dig? '

Oh 'mos def'.
I can see the evidence of that!
You still wear the same high school jacket.
And on your head is that 'same' baseball cap.
How long has it been?
46 years? !

'And...
What is your point?
At least the dudes I hang out with...
Aint trying to be pretentious,
Boring people to tears.
All my kids' mamas know I aint in that crap.
When I get bored I split! '

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About To Make The Time

Well you walking on the moon
But there's nothing
No there's nothing left to do deep inside
And you can't believe it's real
Got ya thinkin' boy
(You) may be better off to stay than to slide
Lucky boy!
But now she's falling close to you
And there are things that just cannot last forever
There's nothing I can say that is possibly kind
But I'm about to make the time
Cause I'm about to lose my mind
And you think you're on the move
But there's nothing
No there's nothing left to breathe deep inside
And you say it's in the wheels
God it's stinkin' boy
Well you know that all you said was a lie
Lucky boy!!
But now she's falling close to you
And there are things that just cannot last forever
There's nothing I can say that is possibly kind
But I'm about to make the time
Cause I'm about to lose my mind
And I'm about to make the time
Cause I'm about to lose my mind
Yes I'm about to make the time
Ohhhhhh
I do it
We're gonna do it
Gotta stop and take it slow
You blew it
They're gonna screw it
Gotta stop and steal the show
You count the ways
You stop it!
And you say you're on the move
But there's nothing
No there's nothing left to do deep inside
And you can't believe it's real
Got you thinkin' boy
Maybe better off to stay than to die
Thinkin' boy
But now she's falling close to you
And there are things that just cannot last forever
There's nothing I can say that is possibly kind
But I'm about to make the time
Cause I'm about to lose my mind
And I'm about to make the time
Cause I'm about to lose my mind
But I'm about to make the time
Ohhhh!!!

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All Different, But Still The Same

Some people have short hair, some have long.
Some people have thick hair; some people’s hair is all gone.

Some people have black hair, some have gray.
Some people have brown hair, some blonde, some red.
Some people’s hair a color unsaid.

Some people are short, some people are tall.
Some people will love you; some won’t like you at all.

Some people like hot weather, some like cold.
Some people are timid, some people are bold.
Some people have dark skin, some people have light.
Some people have black skin, some people have white.

Some people eat meat; some won’t touch it at all.
Some people have a good memory, some can’t recall.
Some people accept Christ, some never will.
Some people are stingy, some people give.

Some people like school, some people don’t.
Some people will excel, some people won’t.
Some people smoke cigarettes, some never will.
Some people are honest, some people steal.

Some people have book knowledge;
But don’t know the Holy Book.
Some people burn food, some people can cook.

Some people are old, some people are young.
Some people do smart things, some people do dumb.

Some people just have a diploma
Some people have degrees.
Some people do things slow, some with a breeze.
Some people are complainers, some easy to please.

Some people hate shopping, some stay in the mall.
Some people hate God, but God loves us all.

We are all different, but still the same.

When I get cut, I bleed red;
You get cut, red blood you’ll shed.

Some people are plump, some people are thin.
But we are all the same, we’re all human being.

Copyright © 2010-Phyllis Strong

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I Just Wanna Live

I Just Wanna Live
I need an a-larm system in my house
So I know when people are
Creeping about
These people are
Freaking me out
(these days)
It's getting hectic everywhere that I go
They won't leave me alone
There's things they all wanna know
I'm paranoid off all the people I meet
Why are they talking to me?
And why can't anyone see
I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x6]
I rock a
Lawsuit when I'm going to court
A white suit when I'm gettin' divorced
A black suit at the funeral home
And my birthday suit when I'm home alone
Talkin' on the phone
Got an interview
With the rolling stone
They're saying
Now you're rich and
Now you're famous
fake ass girls all know your names and
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
your first hit aren't you a-shamed?
Of the life [x2]
Of the life you're livin'
I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live
Stop your messin' around boy
Better think a your future
Better make some good plans boy
Said everyone of my teachers
Lookout
You better play it safe
You never know what hard times will come your way
We say
Where we're coming from
We've already seen
The worst that this life can bring
Now we're expected everywhere that we go
All the things that they say
Yeah we already know
I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
Just wanna live [x3]
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x3]
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x3]
Don't really care about the things that they say
Just wanna live [x3]
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live

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