Citatepedia^®.com

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.

quote by Tammy Faye Bakker
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy! | In Romanian

Essay on Psychiatrists

I. Invocation

It‘s crazy to think one could describe them—
Calling on reason, fantasy, memory, eves and ears—
As though they were all alike any more

Than sweeps, opticians, poets or masseurs.
Moreover, they are for more than one reason
Difficult to speak of seriously and freely,

And I have never (even this is difficult to say
Plainly, without foolishness or irony)
Consulted one for professional help, though it happens

Many or most of my friends have—and that,
Perhaps, is why it seems urgent to try to speak
Sensibly about them, about the psychiatrists.

II. Some Terms

“Shrink” is a misnomer. The religious
Analogy is all wrong, too, and the old,
Half-forgotten jokes about Viennese accents

And beards hardly apply to the good-looking woman
In boots and a knit dress, or the man
Seen buying the Sunday Times in mutton-chop

Whiskers and expensive running shoes.
In a way I suspect that even the terms “doctor”
And “therapist” are misnomers; the patient

Is not necessarily “sick.” And one assumes
That no small part of the psychiatrist’s
Role is just that: to point out misnomers.

III. Proposition

These are the first citizens of contingency.
Far from the doctrinaire past of the old ones,
They think in their prudent meditations

Not about ecstasy (the soul leaving the body)
Nor enthusiasm (the god entering one’s person)
Nor even about sanity (which means

Health, an impossible perfection)
But ponder instead relative truth and the warm

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Pinsky
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Shopping

Were buying and selling your history
How we go about it is no mystery
We check it with the city, then change the law
Are you looking forward?
Now you want some more
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Its easy when you got all the information
Inside help, no investigation
(no investigation, investigation)
No questions in the house, no give and take
Theres a big bang in the city
Were all on the make
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Our gain is your loss, thats the price you pay
I heard it in the house of commons: everythings for sale
Were shopping
Were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
(were shopping
Were shopping
Were shopping
Were shopping
Were shopping)

song performed by Pet Shop Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Fodder I Would Consider As Topics

I am amazed by those,
Who 'assume' they provide fodder...
I would consider as topics for my poems.
And I have stated on several occasions,
I am not inspired like that.

There is something that happens inside of me,
That dictates where my attention is zapped by attraction.
And it becomes a source to enforce,
Upon my consciousness with a focused concentration.
I wish there was an easier explanation!
But I did not learn what I do in school.

And I wish there was something connected I could say,
To have those who are curious accept and go away!

Like...
I just love the sound of rhyme.
Or...
I wasn't good at sports,
So poetry was less physical.
How about this one...
I grew up in a dysfunctional environment.
And a pad and pen became my best friends.
Maybe...
Writing was cheaper than paying a psychiatrist.

Seriously,
Writng 'was' cheaper than paying a psychiatrist.
And since I've been writing most of my life...
I declare myself 'freed' of issues and mentally stable.

Well...
Maybe I am not completely freed of 'all' issues.

And...
Why is it some people,
Take other people and their time for granted?
As if one's love for something,
Does not automatically means there is an absence...
Of a work ethic.
Or there is no initiative, motivation or discipline involved.

There are many people without a creative bone in their bodies,
Who are the first to believe...
Doing something one does not like,
Is practical.
And that reflects a 'normal' society!
'And' more acceptable than enjoying one's life!

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

All American Alien Boy

(ian hunter)
I packed my bags - in the land of rags
cos I dont believe in them dimmo drags
Dont wanna vote for the left wing - dont wanna vote for the right
I gotta have both-to make me fly
Just a whitey from blighty - heading out west
Got my little green card n my bulletproof vest
Goin to old tube city - where the buzz is the best
On down the line (down the line) down the line (down the line)
Well I was born (on the line) n I was raised (on the line)
I was schooled (on the line) n I was fazed (on the line)
n I was used (on the line) n I was dazed (on the line)
Just had to split (off the line) cos I was crazed (off the line)
n I remember all the good times - me n miller enjoyed
Up and down the m1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change Ive got to destroy
Oh look out lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy
All american alien boy all american alien boy
Dont look down put your feet on the ground dont drown in the big aquarium
Dont walk slow - put on a big show - shove your meat down vegetarians
Dont get slugged, get mugged, get bugged, or theyll sling you in the jug
Shove you under some rug, give you some drug - pull out the plug and then...
And theyre telling me this hamburgers cheaper than the other
n this televisions cheaper than the other
And theyre selling me hotdogs cheaper than the other
n these pizzas cheaper than the other
And I dont understand all this - Im just an all american alien boy
n theyre telling me rifles are shot in connecticut
Theyre telling me pistols are shot in westchester
You can get a saturday night special on flatbush, on the bowery, or the bronx
Or on 42nd street - and I dont understand all this - being an all american alien boy
Ive got sodium nitrate rotting in my guts
My heads full of ulcers I got lungs full of butts
My heart wants a transplant - it thinks that Im nuts
My logic wont open - my eyes wont shut
n Im beginning to dig all this - being an all american alien boy
And your women are always right (alright)
They always know so much more
cos the women came from heaven
n the men came outta some store
n they dont know who they are and they dont know what theyre for
Im an all american alien boy - look out mary tyler moore - all american
Alien boy - etc.
Chorus
Ten bears, two bears, standing bear, plenty bear,
Old bear, brave bear, hollow horn bear
Silver knife, spotted tail, yellow hand, red cloud,
Red fox, red horse, black kettle,
White ghost, white bull, white thunder, white hog,
Hold on a minute gotta frog in my throat

[...] Read more

song performed by Ian Hunter
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Shopping For Dresses (feat. Loretta Lynn)

Jimmie Dickens, Merle Haggard, R. Q. Jackson
Down through the ages men have died for women
And done so for many times
Each time I loved one, I ve always lost one
Seems the right one is so hard to find.
Shopping for dresses with no one to wear them
One in each color, one in each style.
I ll find a lady someday to wear them,
My shopping will be done for awhile.
I ll bet somewhere s a lady shopping for britches
Comparing the value, appraising each pair.
Maybe someday the Lord will bring us together
And we ll both have a new wardrobe to wear
Shopping for dresses with no one to wear them
One in each color and one in each style.
Maybe someday if I'm lucky
I ll find someone to wear them
And my shopping will be done for awhile.
My shopping will be done for awhile.
I m looking for a lady who ll look good in dresses
She must be red-headed, green eyes and be fair.
I ll make exceptions to all my requirements
As long as she s willing to care.
Chorus:
I just saw a beauty with blue eyes, what a cutie
Bond hair like a halo around her did flow,
But the brunette beside her would be just as lovely
In the dresses I bought long ago.
Chorus:
Now as I sit here dreaming, planning and scheming,
Why should I make standards when everyone knows
As your need ranges, women make changes
And you must accept them or just let them go.
Chorus:

song performed by Randy Travis
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Staff Welfare? ?

I must insist that you desist.
Your pointless questions I resist.
But you continue to persist.
A typical psychiatrist.

The questions that you ply me with
all appertain to Mr Smith
and to the town of Aberystwith.
This has to cease: right now, forthwith.

I fear you are in error sir
Although you do not want to hear.
I am in fact your manager
and your mistake may cost you dear.

It seems you have your wires crossed
and will not listen, you have lost
the plot. What worries me the most.
You seem to be deaf as a post.

Have you trouble with your hearing
Or have you merely lost your bearings.
A psychiatrist should be caring
I find your attitude is wearing

away at my patience.
I’m fast losing confidence
in your ability to sense
what is bothering your patients.

I think perhaps it would be best
if you were forced to take a rest.
This is an order, no request
It seems that you are deeply stressed.

I will arrange cover for you.
That is the least that I can do.
This is the course I must pursue
You understand of course you do.

Although you are a little mad
at present you are not too bad.
There is no reason to be sad
you’ll get the rest you haven’t had

You must take all the time you need
I am so glad that you’ve agreed
Just rest relax and perhaps read
and soon you will be up to speed

[...] Read more

poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Shopping for Yesterday

Busy crowds, lonely hearts, broken dreams
Shopping for yesterday.
Visiting the shared moments,
In all the familiar places
When shopping for yesterday.

We are all prisoners of the past
When shopping for yesterday
Knee deep in our loneliness
Surrounded by the crowd
We’re shopping for yesterday.

Pictures and memories
Half-forgotten words
Time slipping away
From the windmills of my mind
When shopping for yesterday.

poem by Adrian Wait
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Shoppong For Girls

Between the dead ring ash of extreme defense
The lonely groups of company boys
Snapping pictures of scrawny limbs and toothy grins
These are children riding naked on their tourist pals
While the hollows that pass for eyes swell from withdrawal
As he lies on a mattress in a rat infested room
Talking bout his family and the cold back home
Between the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
No one over here reads the papers pal
tween the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
Hes a clean trick and hes shopping for girls
A small black someone jumps over the crazy white guard
Cranking up the volume of a michael jackson song
Between the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
No one over here reads the papers pal
tween the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
Hes a clean trick and hes shopping for girls
Where the frangipani scents the air
She mouths a word that breaks his stare
He grunts his reply in a garrulous croak
Thats a mighty big word for a nine year old
Between the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
No one over here reads the papers pal
The dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
Hes a clean trick and hes shopping for girls
Shopping for girls, shopping for girls
Gaze down into her eyes for a million miles
Wanna give her a name and a clean rag doll

song performed by David Bowie
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

A poem a day - Shopping with a friend

Shopping with a friend is cool
There's nothing forbidden, no rule
And no parents to say what's suitable
Or to tell you what's unaffordable,
Actually you don't need to be rich
To try on whatever your eyes wish.

Shopping with a friend is so nice
You might forget budget and price
And buy things you don't need
Just by habit, not by greed
Like get ten or eleven similar tops
From two or three different shops.

Shopping with a friend is funny
Even if you don't have money
You can try a formal blue shirt
With a long gypsy orange skirt
Pretend to buy them but act lost
Then don't, because they're low-cost.

Shopping with a friend is naughty
You can act humble or haughty
Change personnalities between stores:
Be a girl who laughs and snores
Or an english tourist, elegant and neat
Who went walking on the street.

But shopping is more pleasant with a friend
Who has a thousand dollars to lend.

poem by Rita El Khoury
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Shopping Without Edgar Allan

We will always shopping go
Without Edgar Allan Poe.
We go shopping, hopping, hopping,
From this store to that.
Edgar Allan was a Poe
Who never ever had to go
Shopping.

O.K., and so perhaps I lied,
And so perhaps his lovely bride,
Annabelle Lee and he
Went shopping, like
The rest of us.

poem by Fred Babbin
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

21st Century Shopping Mall

Built on a day in sin
Sand, girders and tin
Prefab shopping mall
For a working class clientele
Everything for sale
With chemist and optician
Open 24/7
All made in heaven.
...............................
Soc ial gathering if you like
Star parade caked music.
Push your food around Mike
.................................
Pref ab shopping mall
The Vatican
A pilgrimage every time
The Notre-dime.
..................................
Walk down towering isles
To marry a barbeque
With blessed burger
You become the Pope
In prefab shopping mall.
......................................Checkout!
A gorgeous honey bun
With e numbered eyes
Or male hunky spunk
Wearing organic hair gel
Loving your food to death
Into recyclable bags
Or do it yourself
With smiley friendly computer scanner
Serving a mega ram lip service.
..................................... .
However much you pay
Sacred food should stay
You cannot ever leave
Our God blessed sanctified
Prefab shopping mall......

poem by Andrew Nawroski
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

The Devil On The Tree

It was coming on up to Christmas
When I received an unusual text,
‘We're travelling round the country and
We thought we'd visit you next.'
It was signed Giselle, the cousin from Hell,
And I shook right down to my boots,
For ‘we' meant daughter Annabelle Leigh
With a reputation to suit.

I think she was sired by a Demon down
In the Seventh Circle of Hell,
She'd never been smacked, not even a tap
When she'd scream, and shout and yell,
Her mother was one of those wussy types
Who'd studied psychology,
Was into behaviour models, rather
Than putting her over her knee.

They came with their bag and baggage, said
They'd only be here for a month,
And Annabelle Leigh went on a spree
Spitting all over our lunch,
‘Now don't be naughty, ' her mother said,
‘Or you'll make your uncle mad! '
‘I hate him! ' she said, looking at me,
‘You tell him he's not my Dad! '

I thought, ‘Thank God for that! ' there are
Small mercies in this world,
And one, not being the father of
This hateful, spiteful girl,
She turned my home to a charnel house
When she cauterised the cat,
Burning the fur of my Burmese with
A basin of scalding fat.

I asked if ever she'd sought the help
Of a child psychologist,
Giselle just sat and she simpered, ‘Oh,
She's never as bad as this!
You must have done something to worry her,
Keep calm, and try to be nice.'
But I was too busy to answer, while
Packing the cat in ice.

‘Children need to feel valued, ' said
Giselle, one day to me,
But I was stood by the window
Watching her kid ring-bark my tree,
She cut off the neighbour's pony-tail

[...] Read more

poem by David Lewis Paget
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

'The Mark' I played a psychiatrist. And in the '50's everybody went to a psychiatrist because if you didn't, you'd have nothing to talk about at cocktail parties.

quote by Rod Steiger
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

If I had my way everyone would have a psychiatrist. When the brain is sick and you must throw up, you do it by being purged in a psychiatrist's office.

quote by Hedy Lamarr
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Insomnia

The old retired psychiatrist
Professor 'Euphoria' who awakes in the middle of the night.
Nowadays he was copying Idioms.
He complains of an acute pain in his body.
But he is not aware of the exact place.
He visits a young dentist Dr.So-Called
and forced him to extract his cavity tooth?
He did a thorough check and found it was a denture.
Then he said 'Nothing wrong with your teeth
anyhow I'll refer you to the prominent psychiatrist Professor Euphoria?
I have heard about him and his talents
from my patients'.

To poet Martin.Turner

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Constipation

An urban teacher recently transferred to a rural school
Had complaint of, ‘Inability to pass his stool’.
His wife thought, “Husband may be speaking lie
Let me take him to Freud- City’s sexiest guy.”
Freud boasted, “I can cure this illness in fifty sittings
But since it is an emergency, I will call psychiatrist’s meeting”.
He decided to call psychiatrist all
And they gathered in a big conference hall.
Freud started, “Pt is fixated at phallic stage
And harbors suppressed sex and repressed rage.”
Karl Jung shouted angrily at Sigmund Freud
“You always bring sexuality, Are you Freud or fraud? ”
Then he mocked at Freud, “Do you have brain or bladder
You cannot diagnose even a simple matter”.
Sigmund Freud confessed, “You all know I am sexually perverted
But you also know, personality cannot be reverted.”
Then he added shyly, “Phallus comes in my mind uppermost
When I see pen, pendulum, pillar or post.”
Then Jung added, “It is a simple case of fight
Between a conscious complex and an unconscious archetype.”
Anna Freud said to Jung, “You are speaking in jest
Otherwise go east or west my father is best.”
Alfed Adler said, “I can see with clarity,
It is an obvious case of organ inferiority.”
Maslow interrupted, “Pt has problem in climbing a pyramid
So please give him some push from behind.”
“It is ‘birth trauma’ blurted out ‘A Man in Black’”
When all look on their back, it was Otto Rank.
Adolf Meyer said, “There is no need to guess
It is a simple case of, ‘reaction to life stress’”.
“Basic Anxiety” Karen Horney spoke anxiously
But as usual no one took her seriously.
Briquet guessed, “It is a conversion disorder and secondary gain
There is no pain without gain”
Erickson said- flashing his mobile Ericsson-
“It is a problem of stage transition.”
Heinz Kohut said, “Pt is not getting job satisfaction,
Because he is not getting ‘narcissistic gratification’.”
“It is an adjustment disorder”, spoke SHETH HITESH
Everyone look at him with interest.
Pt said, “You all fool, Don’t loss your cool
I’m not passing stool, because there is no latrine in the school.”

Dr Hitesh C Sheth

27/09/2008

poem by Hitesh Sheth
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Every Move You Make

I will always be your friend!
But...
I will not always be accepting,
Of those things you do!

If you are seeking those who will approve,
Every move you make...
To constantly give you a boost,
To make you feel okay about everything you do...
You need to schedule visits to see a psychiatrist.

And I am sure with each visit...
That psychiatrist will show you,
Just how patient they are with you too.
With an expectation of payment.

I will always be your friend!
But...
I will not always be accepting,
Of those things you do!
And you wont have to pay me a thing,
To tell you when or when you are not...
Doing those things that are not suitable or 'cool'.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Free Round Trip Tickets

Those in search and seeking explanations,
For hints or clues as to what is going on today.
Are in need of one thing...
Free round trip tickets,
To their favorite amusement park.
With accomodations for two.
And one is required to be a licensed,
Psychiatrist.

'Why are you so sarcastic about this? '

I once had visions.
That came as I slept or kept awake.
They would not go away.
Something inside me said,
'You have the gift of a psychiatrist.
You need to get inside people's heads.
That's where your fortunes lay.'

But I chose to get on people's nerves,
Instead.
And I could have made a fortune doing 'both'.
Who knew it?
I blew it!

Always listen to those inner voices.
That is the best advice today I can give.
However...
Do not make public your arguments.
Being hauled away and locked up,
Could happen.
And this is what one confined will dread.

Unless...
One is at that amusement park,
And accompanied by someone...
Loving the multiple conversations conducted,
In and out of one's bed.
And affording every bit of the expense of it.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Rorsharch’s test

Remember those inkblots
They have them ready
For you to tell them
About you

And so you begin
With the story of a Big Bear
With sharp claws
Hair all over the body
Big feet, and you said the
Big Bear is walking towards
The forest looking for Mama Bear
Who left little bear cubs,

And then you go to the next
You said you saw clowns
Teasing each other and they have
Extraordinary penises hanging
On their clown pants. You think
It was really funny. You were
Just honest.

Then there was a Big Butterfly
Lots of colors and you describe
Wings spreading and you said they
Are flying towards a warm place
Because they look so cold and oppressed.

Then the Big Bat and you said you
Are viewing it from the top
And it is flying
It is flying
In such a speed
Faster than sound
Jokingly you told
Them how Einstein
Discovered the law of relativity
All because of this Big Bat
Flying faster than a speed of sound
Its mass shirked and light got
So distorted it lost itself in space.

And you look at the analyst
Call it the psychiatrist
Her eyes rolled and she
Blinked and she moved her
Face sidewise. She repeated
If the bat, the bear, the butterfly
The clowns move

[...] Read more

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!