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Hasier Agirre

First, they freeze your salary. Then, they politely explain you that ice melts.

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They Asked About You

(freddy weller, kim nash, bill nash)
Saturday night
Out on the town
Feeling so sure of myself
Meeting some friends
Sharing some laughs
Not thinking of anything else
Then one of them leaned over my shoulder
And all at once the party was over
Chorus:
They asked about you
And suddenly it all came back to me
Then all the walls around my heart
Came crashing at my feet
When they asked about you
(oh) they asked about you
I was doing ok
Until they asked about you
How could they know
What it would do
All they did was mention your name
And just like that
The hurting was back
Thats when I knew nothing had changed
What a time for old memories to find me
Just when I thought Id put em behind me
Repeat chorus

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They Can't Take That Away From Me

There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me

We may never never meet again

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Since First I saw your Face, Thomas Ford's Music of Sundry Kinds

SINCE first I saw your face I resolved to honour and renown ye;
If now I be disdained I wish my heart had never known ye.
What? I that loved and you that liked, shall we begin to wrangle?
No, no, no, my heart is fast, and cannot disentangle.

If I admire or praise you too much, that fault you may forgive me;
Or if my hands had stray'd but a touch, then justly might you leave
me.
I ask'd you leave, you bade me love; is 't now a time to chide me?
No, no, no, I'll love you still what fortune e'er betide me.

The Sun, whose beams most glorious are, rejecteth no beholder,
And your sweet beauty past compare made my poor eyes the bolder:
Where beauty moves and wit delights and signs of kindness bind me,
There, O there! where'er I go I'll leave my heart behind me!

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You Hide From Them Your Soul

Oh the tangle weaves of life
Make us as human beings
So unworthy in our lives
To others who think
It’s just all a bad dream
We stand upon the edge
Of life’s calculated risks
Wondering can we be
What others can see
All they ever see
Is the shell that hides your soul?
They poke, prod and question
What kind of life you lead
You hide from them your soul
The journeys of life’s mystery
They think they know you best
But in reality all they see
Is a shell of a being?
That holds your soul to be
One that hides the ghost of pain
That is dormant in your heart
One that’s learnt to live and breathe
Behind a painted door
They often knock to see
If you are still here in reality
Little do they know?
Of your secret life of woe
Only once in while
You let them in your life
Then firmly close the door
That hides your secret life

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They Can't Take That Away From Me

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No no they can't take that away from me
The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No no they can't take that away from me
We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of
The way you hold your knife
The way we dance till three
The way you change my life
No no they can't take that away from me
No they can't take that away from me
Yeah yeah yeah
We may never never meet again, on this bumpy road to love
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of
The way you hold your knife
The way we dance till three
The way you change my life
No no they can't take that away from me
No they can't take that away from me
No they can't take that away from me
No they'll never never never never take that away from me
No they can't take that away...

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Confusion

It's funny how it tears me apart
First it breaks your head then your heart
I should've loved you better
From the start
It's chewin' at my bones and my brains
It's workin' through the flesh that remains
Why can't this feelin' leave me
And just fade away?
From day one I led you on
I'm sorry girl, but I can't stay
Things have changed, they're not the same
Now I must walk the other way
Confusion raining down from up high
And all the time you ask yourself 'why?'
Why can't you make decisions
Can't make up your mind
Although you're trying hard to forget
The reason why you feel so misled
Now come on and forgive me
I'll help you accept
From day one I led you on
I'm sorry girl, but I can't stay
Things have changed, they're not the same
Now I must walk the other way
From day one I led you on
I'm sorry girl, but I can't stay
Things have changed, they're not the same
Now I must walk the other way... home

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But No More

The time is now or never
The crashing is coming near
The delphi is on the corner
And he whispers in your ear
It used to be men could be solemn even while laughing
And laughter could be heard shore to shore
But no more
Now all you hear is crying
Cause no one's on the phone
Your feet are just now freezing over
You know that you are here all alone
It used to be men could be solemn even while laughing
And laughter could be heard shore to shore
But no more
When I think of friends and places
Things we wanted, hoped we'd be
All that's left is fading traces
Memories of what use to be
Hear their laughter, see their shadows
Feel the darkness, see the light
We had lit all but lost so quickly
We think we won but we lost the fight
But it's all the same to me
I've seen all I want to see
First they laugh at you
Then they cry
Say they'll always be there
Then they die
So alone yet so alive
It used to be men could be solemn even while laughing
And laughter could be heard shore to shore
But no more

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What Have They Done To You

Written by james young and tommy shaw
Lead vocals by james young and tommy shaw
There must be something out there,
There must be something real
Well this mysterys a nightmare
And I dont know what to feel
Well I heard you had a hell of a time there
I guess it chilled you down to the bone
If theres one thing I can tell you
Itll never leave you less than alone
In spite of everything you told me
In spite of everything Ive heard
Theres nothing here that I call holy
Not a solitary word
Could you tell me what its like on the outside
Were you really lost and out of control
Were you reaching for your freedom
When the gatekeeper called for the toll
Oh-oh, what have they done to you
Where, where have you gone
Oh-oh, I wanna run to you
In spite of what youre saying
I still cant let you go
Well they say you witnessed some kind of lefe there
Was it something real or nothing at all
Or is your imagination all thats there to catch you
If you start to fall
Oh-oh, what have they done to you
Where, where have you gone
Oh-oh I wanna run to you
In spite of what youre saying
I still cant let you go
Oh-oh, what have they done to you
Where, where have you gone
Oh-oh I wanna run to you
In spite of what youre saying
I still cant let you go
What have they done to you

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The Abuser

it does not matter if you're male or female
in the mind of a abuser
they will always prevail.
when you allow the abuse from the start
in you life, it becomes a part.

whether it's verbal or physical, it matters not
you let it start, and it won't stop.
the verbal can be more damaging than the physical
because it becomes daily.

like a sculptor chipping away at its mold
until it becomes the way that they want it to be.
and if you don't stop it
you will never be free.

they do it because of their own inadequacy.
which is something that their mind won't see.
how much abuse should you take
before it becomes much to late?

the verbal abuser will always put you to the ground
and expect you to not make a sound.
they will tell you that you was put here to serve.
and to make a move, you have no nerve.

that you must obey their every command
and that you are the scum of the land.
if you have no - or low self esteem
it is something which will be seen.

and when an abuser has you in their sight
no matter what you do, it won't be right.
STOP the abuse, before it's too late.
for this can not be your destined fate.

the verbal abuse will always start first
then from there, it will get worse.
YOU must walk away, so that they can see
a victim you will not be.

(abuse is like a broken tool, it could damage whatever is good)

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God's Power To Your Pens!

God's power to your pens,
If you write for your friends,
Bestowing wisdom, humour, joy or love!
For as each poem blends,
The rhythm never ends,
For poetry's preserved by God above...

Within each poet's heart,
Is stored a noble art,
A precious gift God sent to bless Mankind!
At every poem's start,
An angel plays his part,
Encouraging all rhymes to be refined!

Please don't turn him away!
Instead bid him to stay!
He ministers to all who seek the Lord!
In silence, let him pray!
He serves God every day!
And if he could, he would share his reward!

Use clarity of thought
And choose words that you ought!
Express yourselves in rhythm, reason, rhyme!
What miracles are wrought
When genius is caught!
That's when a poem proves to be sublime!

Wondrous words excite us!
Dancing round inside us!
Esteem them all, as servants they have worth!
You that would delight us,
Harken, then, as writers!
Be open to God's friendship here on Earth!

Transcending what's the norm,
Wise words, like bees, must swarm,
Let poems play the heartstrings with finesse!
Like lightning, dreams must form!
Dig deep! Release the storm!
God's power to your pens, my friends! God bless!


Denis Martindale, August 2012.


We can hear the word of the Lord on
Revelation TV on UK Sky Digital 581
as well as the WATCH NOW link on
the revelationtv-dot-com website...

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They Are The Ones That Others Envy

I have issues with people who leave people...
Begging on the streets with nothing to eat.
Or treat others like they're not even human equals.
And then look disgusted like they are diseased

No human being can teach a cat hygiene.
Nor can you teach a grown up to be clean.
Nobody should be teaching who to respect.
That should be a given and not a pick to peck.

I have issues with the snots with turned up noses.
As if they have scents of champion roses.
Ooo I can't believe these people are the ones who stink.
And-they-believe,
They are the ones that others envy?

Who made them runner up for fresh sainthoods?
Who showed them evilness was anything good?
Who gave them rights to think they beam like light?
And who told them they approve the Sun that rises high!

Yes I have issues with the snots with turned up noses.
As if they have scents of champion roses.
Ooo I can't believe these people are the ones who stink.
And-they-believe,
They are the ones that others envy?

They believe,
They are the ones that others envy.
And they believe,
They are the ones that others envy.
They believe,
They are the ones that others envy.
And they believe,
They are the ones that others envy.

I have issues with the snots with turned up noses.
And they believe,
They are the ones that others envy.

I have issues with the snots with turned up noses.
And they believe,
They are the ones that others envy.
And they believe,
They are the ones that others envy.
And they believe,
They are the ones that others envy.

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Jonathan Swift

Elegy Upon Tiger

Her dead lady's joy and comfort,
Who departed this life
The last day of March, 1727:
To the great joy of Bryan
That his antagonist is gone.

And is poor Tiger laid at last so low?
O day of sorrow! -Day of dismal woe!
Bloodhounds, or spaniels, lap-dogs, 'tis all one,
When Death once whistles -snap! -away they're gone.
See how she lies, and hangs her lifeless ears,
Bathed in her mournful lady's tears!
Dumb is her throat, and wagless is her tail,
Doomed to the grave, to Death's eternal jail!
In a few days this lovely creature must
First turn to clay, and then be changed to dust.
That mouth which used its lady's mouth to lick
Must yield its jaw-bones to the worms to pick.
That mouth which used the partridge-wing to eat
Must give its palate to the worms to eat.

Methinks I see her now in Charon's boat
Bark at the Stygian fish which round it float;
While Cerberus, alarmed to hear the sound,
Makes Hell's wide concave bellow all around.
She sees him not, but hears him through the dark,
And valiantly returns him bark for bark.
But now she trembles -though a ghost, she dreads
To see a dog with three large yawning heads.
Spare her, you hell-hounds, case your frightful paws,
And let poor Tiger 'scape your furious jaws.
Let her go safe to the Elysian plains,
Where Hylax barks among the Mantuan swains;
There let her frisk about her new-found love:
She loved a dog when she was here above.

The Epitaph

Here lies beneath this marble
An animal could bark, or warble:
Sometimes a bitch, sometimes a bird,
Could eat a tart, or eat a t -.

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Bad Bad Boy

Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Said Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
Well I made my first kill
With the old town girl
She was the apple of her daddys eye
Well that woman looked up at me
And I said honey well be
Together till the day I die
But I lied
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
There seems to be no end
Of women who are lookin for a man
My services dont come cheap
But I help out when I can
Tell them lies that they wanna hear
Andi really lead em on
Spend all of their money
And Im long, gone
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
Ive got tastes for fast cars
I dont wanna settle down
The good life sure come s easily
With all the mugs around
The women they just come to me
I dont have to look around
I move into their homes with them
Then I move on
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
Im a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad,bad, bad, bad, bad,bad,bad, bad, boy
Im bad, Im bad, Im bad, Im such a, such a bad, bad boy
Im gonna rip you off
Just take control of your mind
Im a bad, bad, boy
Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
Im gonna steal your love
Im gonna rip you off
Just take control of the time
Im a bad, bad,bad,bad,bad
You know Im a bad boy
Im so bad.....

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Your Not A Lady

So you say that you are a lady
Well that's hard for me to believe,
As I known the life that you have led
And the life now that you do lead.
You cheat around and you do also lie
And you curse and drink more than any man,
You cant teach virtues too your own two daughters
As them yourself, you don't understand.

You say you might be a lady
Well that I think could never be
As a lady doesn't brag on hickeys from other men
Or leave their husbands for other men to see.
And while their home is sleeping
A lady doesn't crawl out of the bed of her spouse
While her own daughters are their still asleep
And runs to bed a man who lives in a broken house.

So you say you think you might be a lady
I think I have heard that story once before
As a lady marries for love and then forever
And not for escape, and later to become a whore.
And a lady is known by both woman and man
Wherever she might go or where she might be
And the people see meets and that she greets
They can tell you, that She is truly a lady.

So now you say you wish you were a lady
Well that of course will never be
As a lady is married to the man she is with
And not used by him or by other men in discreet.
And a lady doesn't lie or doesn't cheat or even steal
She doesn't leave from one man to another
And she wont change her hair so people wont stare
And she doesn't blame her fault on her own mother.

So you say that you are not a lady
I am so glad you finally accepted that fact
As a lady is a roll model for daughters everywhere,
And not for advertisement for when she is on her back.
A lady is virtuous and is loyal and ever so caring
And those are the qualities that you never had
She is also devoted to her man and is a good mother
A lady you never was, or will be, and that makes me sad.


Randy L. McClave

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A hostile environment

I am surrounded by hostile environment
Always there is emergency and hectic movement
There is fear of loosing the race with worry
I am restless all the time and feel so sorry

As human being I have all weaknesses
I am not blind and Eveready to assess
That provides some insight to react
Balance the situation and timely act

It is very difficult to establish and reign
There may be many obstacles to begin
Though very hard initially, we become akin
The normal tendency returns when you are deep skin

I wish it to hold up till the end
I follow it with continuous trend
There is set way of tackling in different way
It may click in or give the way away

You are easy pry to be swallowed at any moment
First they may make you nervous by adverse comments
If not then discouragement by way of creating hurdles
Lastly enough of rivalry and pinching if not poked by needles

This is experienced in every walk of life
It has been subjected to the edge of knife
Many worst kind of crisis surface and unseat you completely
You may not have little knowledge even lately

Here survives only the strongest
The course is steered by the ablest
The weak has no role to play
It is better they die or keep away

No human values are kept in mind or allowed to grow
There is hostile posture and pathetic unkind show
If you have clear ability to distinguish and disguise
Your ship will sail smoothly and cruise

The fate hangs in balance
What requires most is fine piece of brilliance?
An alert state of mind coupled intelligence
And possibly the skill to use in complete presence

There is no scope for any kind feeling
There systematic way of killing
No rivalry is tolerated or completely removed
The anticipatory tactic is deliberately moved

He surprise move is considered as master art
The constant move makes man perfect and smart
He develops the ability to counter any threat
When time comes to face it eventually meet

The thought pulsation is quick weapon
It helps to guide even when race is won
It requires careful approach for follow up
The gain will be lost otherwise if not summed up

So long we are on face of earth
There will threat of imminent death
If one sits idle for the fear of consequences
The history is witness for such instances

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Saltbush Bill on the Patriarchs

Come all you little rouseabouts and climb upon my knee;
To-day, you see, is Christmas Day, and so it’s up to me
To give you some instruction like—a kind of Christmas tale—
So name your yarn, and off she goes. What, “Jonah and the Whale”?
Well, whales is sheep I’ve never shore; I’ve never been to sea,
So all them great Leviathans is mysteries to me;
But there’s a tale the Bible tells I fully understand,
About the time the Patriarchs were settling on the land.

Those Patriarchs of olden time, when all is said and done,
They lived the same as far-out men on many a Queensland run—
A lot of roving, droving men who drifted to and fro,
The same we did out Queensland way a score of years ago.

Now Isaac was a squatter man, and Jacob was his son,
And when the boy grew up, you see, he wearied of the run.
You know the way that boys grow up—there’s some that stick at home;
But any boy that’s worth his salt will roll his swag and roam.

So Jacob caught the roving fit and took the drovers’ track
To where his uncle had a run, beyond the outer back;
You see they made for out-back runs for room to stretch and grow,
The same we did out Queensland way a score of years ago.

Now, Jacob knew the ways of stock—that’s most uncommon clear—
For when he got to Laban’s Run, they made him overseer;
He didn’t ask a pound a week, but bargained for his pay
To take the roan and strawberry calves—the same we’d take to-day.

The duns and blacks and “Goulburn roans” (that’s brindles), coarse and hard,
He branded them with Laban’s brand, in Old Man Laban’s yard;
So, when he’d done the station work for close on seven year,
Why, all the choicest stock belonged to Laban’s overseer.

It’s often so with overseers—I’ve seen the same thing done
By many a Queensland overseer on many a Queensland run.
But when the mustering time came on old Laban acted straight,
And gave him country of his own outside the boundary gate.

He gave him stock, and offered him his daughter’s hand in troth;
And Jacob first he married one, and then he married both;
You see, they weren’t particular about a wife or so—
No more were we up Queensland way a score of years ago.

But when the stock were strong and fat with grass and lots of rain,
Then Jacob felt the call to take the homeward road again.
It’s strange in every creed and clime, no matter where you roam,
There comes a day when every man would like to make for home.

So off he set with sheep and goats, a mighty moving band,
To battle down the homeward track along the Overland—
It’s droving mixed-up mobs like that that makes men cut their throats.
I’ve travelled rams, which Lord forget, but never travelled goats.

But Jacob knew the ways of stock, for (so the story goes)
When battling through the Philistines—selectors, I suppose—
He thought he’d have to fight his way, an awkward sort of job;
So what did Old Man Jacob do? of course, he split the mob.

He sent the strong stock on ahead to battle out the way;
He couldn’t hurry lambing ewes—no more you could to-day—
And down the road, from run to run, his hand ’gainst every hand,
He moved that mighty mob of stock across the Overland.

The thing is made so clear and plain, so solid in and out,
There isn’t any room at all for any kind of doubt.
It’s just a plain straightforward tale—a tale that lets you know
The way they lived in Palestine three thousand years ago.

It’s strange to read it all to-day, the shifting of the stock;
You’d think you see the caravans that loaf behind the flock,
The little donkeys and the mules, the sheep that slowly spread,
And maybe Dan or Naphthali a-ridin’ on ahead.

The long, dry, dusty summer days, the smouldering fires at night;
The stir and bustle of the camp at break of morning light;
The little kids that skipped about, the camels’ dead-slow tramp—
I wish I’d done a week or two in Old Man Jacob’s camp!

But if I keep the narrer path, some day, perhaps, I’ll know
How Jacob bred them strawberry calves three thousand years ago.

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The Town Down by the River

I

Said the Watcher by the Way
To the young and the unladen,
To the boy and to the maiden,
"God be with you both to-day.
First your song came ringing,
Now you come, you two--
Knowing naught of what you do,
Or of what your dreams are bringing.

"O you children who go singing
To the Town down the River,
Where the millions cringe and shiver,
Tell me what you know to-day;
Tell me how far you are going,
Tell me how you find your way.
O you children who are dreaming,
Tell me what you dream to-day."

"He is old and we have heard him,"
Said the boy then to the maiden;
"He is old and heavy laden
With a load we throw away.
Care may come to find us,
Age may lay us low;
Still, we seek the light we know,
And the dead we leave behind us.

"Did he think that he would blind us
Into such a small believing
As to live without achieving,
When the lights have led so far?
Let him watch or let him wither,--
Shall he tell us where we are?
We know best, who go together,
Downward, onward, and so far."

II

Said the Watcher by the Way
To the fiery folk that hastened
To the loud and the unchastened,
"You are strong, I see, to-day.
Strength and hope may lead you
To the journey's end,--
Each to be the other's friend
If the Town should fail to need you.

"And are ravens there to feed you
In the Town down the River,
Where the gift appalls the giver
And youth hardens day by day?
O you brave and you unshaken,
Are you truly on your way?
And are sirens in the River,
That you come so far to-day?"

"You are old and we have listened,"
Said the voice of one who halted;
"You are sage and self-exalted,
But your way is not our way.
You that cannot aid us
Give us words to eat.
Be assured that they are sweet,
And that we are as God made us.

"Not in vain have you delayed us,
Though the river still be calling
Through the twilight that is falling
And the Town be still so far.
By the whirlwind of your wisdom
Leagues are lifted as leaves are;
But a king without a kingdom
Fails us, who have come so far."

III

Said the Watcher by the Way
To the slower folk who stumbled,
To the weak and the world-humbled,
"Tell me how you fare to-day.
Some with ardor shaken,
All with honor scarred,
Do you falter, finding hard
The far chance that you have taken?

"Or, do you at length awaken
To an antic retribution,
Goading to a new confusion
The drugged hopes of yesterday?
O you poor mad men that hobble,
Will you not return or stay?
Do you trust, you broken people,
To a dawn without the day?"

"You speak well of what you know not,"
Muttered one; and then a second:
"You have begged, and you have beckoned,
But you see us on our way.
Who are you to scold us,
Knowing what we know?
Jeremiah, long ago,
Said as much as you have told us.

"As we are, then, you behold us:
Derelicts of all conditions,
Poets, rogues, and sick physicians,
Plodding forward from afar;
Forward now into the darkness
Where the men before us are;
Forward, onward, out of grayness,
To the light that shone so far."

IV

Said the Watcher by the Way
To some aged ones who lingered,
To the shrunken, the claw-fingered,
"So you come for me to-day."--
"Yes, to give you warning;
You are old," one said;
"You have hairs on your head,
Fit for laurel, not for scorning.

"From the first of early morning
We have toiled along to find you;
We, as others, have maligned you,
But we need your scorn to-day.
By the light that we saw shining,
Let us not be lured alway;
Let us hear no River calling
When to-morrow is to-day."

"But your lanterns are unlighted
And the Town is far before you:
Let us hasten, I implore you,"
Said the Watcher by the Way.
"Long have I waited,
Longer have I known
That the Town would have its own,
And the call be for the fated.

"In the name of all created.
Let us hear no more my brothers;
Are we older than all others?
Are the planets in our way?"--
"Hark," said one; I hear the River,
Calling always, night and day."--
"Forward, then! The lights are shining,"
Said the Watcher by the Way.

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A Trip to the Vet

Lately, you have been sick
And we just don't know what to do with you.
You're itching at your skin—
Scratching the dry, leathery patches until they scab
And ooze a mixture of blood and puss.
Your ears are dripping a waxy fluid
And the kids choke on it
When they go to cuddle with you.
It's not that we don't love you anymore.
You just don't smell pleasant anymore.
You're also getting crotchety,
As if you snarl at the world that did this to you,
Angry at God for birthing you to become this.
Your legs wobble when you walk.
It looks like they could cave in at any time,
Causing you to collapse, helplessly
Lying on the floor.
If you hadn't become so resigned to your discouragement,
So engulfed in the utter disappointment you have for your failing limbs,
People might feel bad for you,
But they don't.
You don't wake up in the morning anymore.
You don't get out of bed to urinate.
If you're comfortable, you'd rather bathe in your urine
And smell like your waste.
Well, whatever makes you happier.
You might've lost your voice a little while back,
So you can't really tell us how you feel.
Some dogs bark.
Others bite.
You just cough
To clear the sand from your throat,
Forcing the dusty, lodged syllables out of your mouth
In a thick, tarry mucous.
Whatever you want to say gets covered in it
And sinks into the ejecting ponds of spittle.
I'm sorry we no longer understand you.
I'm sorry we're not there for you.
I'm sorry I don't care as much as I used to.
I'm sorry I don't care.
I try not to.

I don't want to know the pain you feel.
I don't want to know what it's like
To know that each step my joints are breaking inside of me;
To know that I don't have much longer to live;
To know that Death is waiting to claim me,
Laughing as I hobble back to my feet in the morning.
You're suffering,
But you're just an animal.
Those can't be tears in your eyes.
You can't be crying.
You can't be crying.
Maybe I'd start crying
If I believed you were crying.
Your eyes look so sad.
It's as if you fully realize you've seen the best of your days
While you peer forward,
Gazing into oblivion.
I don't want you to be that way.
I want to remember you as the puppy,
The obnoxious bundle of energy that we couldn't shut up.
I want you to bite my friends and make them get stitches
Like you did when I was a kid.
I want you to growl at people because they squirt you with a hose,
Not because they won't let you rest.
Relax right now. I hope it brings you peace.
Soon, you won't have to worry.
We're taking you to the vet
To check on your allergies,
To refill your medications.
We're trying to keep you healthy,
Though we know your rambunctious days are over.
I have to pick you up and put you in the backseat.
Three years ago, you would hop in,
But now you don't have the energy.
You're gaining weight,
So it's getting harder for me too.
You lay your head upon your folded paws
And stretch your body to crumple it up again.
You're a shedding ball of saggy, wrinkled skin
Red and ripe with agitation.
We drive down the road for twenty minutes.
I forget you're there in the silence.
After being so restless for so long,
You're catching up,
Unable to resist the soothing sensation of closing your eyes.
As we pull into the parking lot,
Your head perks up slightly
And your tail begins wagging.
I put you on a leash
And we walk inside.
You aren't aggressive with other animals anymore—
All the hard work and effort put into training you has finally paid off.
You sit politely in a chair while we wait for your appointment.
Then the vet takes you and I wait.
I skim through a few articles in a few magazines from a few months ago.
My eyes wander and fix on a daytime news program
About another murder in the city.
A half hour later,
I'm informed that your sickness is only getting worse—
That life will only be getting harder and harder,
Becoming a grievance for you:
A heavy burden,
A suffering.
I am told that the most humane thing I can do for you at this point
Is to let them prick you with a needle filled with poison
And watch you slowly drift into somnolent state,
Dreamily letting life slip from you.
All I have to do is sign the papers.
That's all I have to do to say goodbye.
I try not to.
I don't want to alleviate your senses.
I don't want the guilt
Of knowing I was the one that let them kill you;
Of knowing I was the one who saw you die;
Of knowing that even if I said no,
You would be in pain,
Agonized by survival.
You're there: laying on a bed, already sleeping.
Your tail is wagging.
You look the best you've looked in years.
From far away, you seem relieved to be here.

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The Battle To Close My Eyes

I shut my eyes and shut them tight
This doesn't feel right
This can't be right

Why do you close your eyes?
What do you think you can do?
You think everything will just come to you?
This doesn't feel right
It can't be right

Shut my eyes harder
Close my ears
I cant hear
I cant see
This doesn't feel right
How can it be right?

Don't stop
Don't open
Don't give up
Don't
Just don't
This feels wrong
How could this pain be right?

Hey, hey you open your eyes
Stop it, I cannot
Boy, you're a fool open your eyes! You're not blind
You're your own man!
Boy live your life
Open your eyes, what can you find as you are?
This hurts
Do I trust what I feel or do I do what I know?

Boy you can't find her like this
Boy you're stubborn and puritanical
Boy you don't know a thing about life
Boy you're a fool
Don't be foolish
You, you're, you're wrong
NO! You're wrong, look at yourself you're a mess
This doesn't feel right
It can't be right

Boy you said it yourself this ISNT right
You were MADE to feel this way
This, THIS is who you are
Don't run from destiny
Stop hiding behind your excuses
Will you just sit here and wait?
Is that what He would will?
Does He love to see you suffer like this? Doesn't He LOVE you? !
No, no, I won't trust my feelings, but this doesn't feel right
It can't be right

How can you find her when your eyes are closed
How can you grow with your hands tied behind your back
Don't you understand grace?
Don't you understandd love?
Must I teach in these simple doctrines
How far have fallen my son
Boy you're just a boy, a spiritual babe.
Stop making excuses you're not even waiting
It baffles you so easily decieve yourself

Boy, accept your destiny
Become who you are
NO!
I will wait
I will save everything for her!
I, I......
And how is that going for you?
These feelings, if you're not made for them, then what are you?

Unfaithful
Unloyal
Unloving
Unab le
You're waiting? ! HAH you're impatient
And how is it going for you?

You call that love? !
You call that devotion? !
Will she be pleased that you 'waited'
You gave your heart to so many, what will she think?
You can't do this, you cannot succeed without Christ, you know that
You cannot suceed He isn't with you, because you're wrong

Is this idea of purity? !
Is this your idea of faithfulness? !
Is this your idea of WAITING
You cannot do this
And apparently, boy, you're too weak and proud to take rebuke

Why won't you learn? !
OPEN YOUR EYES
You should not do this
Remember your first love

OPEN YOUR EYES
STOP WAITING
GO!

NO! I won't do it, you're wrong it's.... it's all lies
This, this is how it's supposed to be
I will seek God
I will close my eyes
I will not open them
I will not search
I will wait
I,
I will
I will do
I will do what
I will do what He
I will do what He wills.
Seek ye first the kingdo.... FOOL! You pretend to know His will? !

Foolish and naive CHILD, you are full of sin
Fool you are a lustful being
Fool you compromised with sin and it's taking you over
You fool do you know nothing of scripture
When you burn with passion it is better that you marry!
FOOL, do you know nothing of devotion
I'd rather you sin than be luke-warm
You fool you pretend to know HIM
You fool you pretend to love HIM
You pretend to serve HIM
but I KNOW who you are
I know who you REALLY are inside
Your heart is evil, you're wicked!

No, no I'm righteous!

Righteous? Romans 3: 23 kid
You're not righteous
You're a sinner
You're drowning in your sin
Drowning in your lust
You cannot do this
You cannot win
Stop acting apart from Him
Enjoy your life
Enjoy the gift He gave you
Why do you squander this? !
Why do you hate yourself?
I think I know
You're not living how you were made to live
Where is your joy?
You have taken it away with your petty rules
With your religious nonsense that makes you believe that
You cannot love
And in doing so
You
You have become
WICKED

No for there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ!

You think that's a valid response YOU FOOL
There is a cup of wrath reserved for adulterers like you
What makes you think you're in Christ?
What makes you think you're saved? !
Judge a man by his fruit
Your fruit
If you can call it fruit
Is lust, evil, desire, wickedness, self-loathing, cynicism, doubt
You make yourself drunk with your sins
You attempt to recompense with Christian clubs
You feel better by memorizing verses
But you're evil
You cannot hide from your sin
You're not repenting
Come back

NO you're wrong I repented God loves me? !

You did not repent, your actions would change
I bet you that you lusted while having this conversation
You're not loved

You're a liar from satan God ALWAYS love us.

Your lack of faith, understanding, and wisdom is baffling to me.
Don't you know that your sins make you far from the Lord
How can He give you His love when your sin is in the way
No you're too far gone
I see you're too stubborn to receive this rebuke
I'm praying for you

No you're wrong
God does not condemn me
God loves me no matter what!
You're wrong I will wait for her with all of my heart

(So that's why you lust, every month, every week, every night)

SHUT UP, you cannot buldgeon me with my failures
I'm a new creation in Christ

Are you? Are you really? you? ! lustful, you? ! sinful, you? ! stubborn
You? ! of all people

No In the NAME OF JESUS CHRIST GO AWAY
I will wait for her, God will give me the strength
My failures do not define who I am
He has given me an identity you cannot shake
No one can
I'm more than my lust, I'm a son of the one true God
He does not condemn me because I'm covered in His blood
In His love and grace
You're wrong
I will wait with all of my heart
I will not lose heart
I will continue steadfastly I will act as Isaac did
I will 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness
I trust that 'all else shall be added unto me.' I take hold of that
That promise
I will wait on you Lord
Thank you for giving me peace
Thank you for taking away the condemnation
But Lord that evil, that came from me
That's what I am inside
I don't know how you love me
But I know you do
Teach me to be more like you
I don't want to a murderer anymore
I don't want to hate myself
I don't want to be an adulterer anymore
I want you to take all the lust away
Maybe not yet
Maybe I don't know how
But someday
God I barely know what I'm saying
But I love you
I'm sorry I'm not okay with waiting
Please change my heart
I want to serve you
But I also..... I also want her
God you made me to have feelings....
But why now?
I dont think I can handle it
But I
....Somewhere in this doubt
Somewhere amidist self condemnation I trust... I trust you
With you can I handle it
So I guess I'll wait
Dear God I love you
There's rocks God
God they're sharp
I think I'll lose my way
The path is narrow
I'll never find it like this
God these are my doubts
But I love you
God I'm
I'm closing..........
GOD GIVE MY STERNGTH
Please..... please.... PLEASE HEAR ME!

God..... God.... I'm, I will, I, ..... I will
Just lead me
I need you
.....

God

I'm closing my eyes now.

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London Bridge

“Do I hear them? Yes, I hear the children singing—and what of it?
Have you come with eyes afire to find me now and ask me that?
If I were not their father and if you were not their mother,
We might believe they made a noise…. What are you—driving at!”

“Well, be glad that you can hear them, and be glad they are so near us,—
For I have heard the stars of heaven, and they were nearer still.
All within an hour it is that I have heard them calling,
And though I pray for them to cease, I know they never will;
For their music on my heart, though you may freeze it, will fall always,
Like summer snow that never melts upon a mountain-top.
Do you hear them? Do you hear them overhead—the children—singing?
Do you hear the children singing?… God, will you make them stop!”

“And what now in His holy name have you to do with mountains?
We’re back to town again, my dear, and we’ve a dance tonight.
Frozen hearts and falling music? Snow and stars, and—what the devil!
Say it over to me slowly, and be sure you have it right.”

“God knows if I be right or wrong in saying what I tell you,
Or if I know the meaning any more of what I say.
All I know is, it will kill me if I try to keep it hidden—
Well, I met him…. Yes, I met him, and I talked with him—today.”

You met him? Did you meet the ghost of someone you had poisoned,
Long ago, before I knew you for the woman that you are?
Take a chair; and don’t begin your stories always in the middle.
Was he man, or was he demon? Anyhow, you’ve gone too far
To go back, and I’m your servant. I’m the lord, but you’re the master.
Now go on with what you know, for I’m excited.”

“Do you mean—
Do you mean to make me try to think that you know less than I do?”

“I know that you foreshadow the beginning of a scene.
Pray be careful, and as accurate as if the doors of heaven
Were to swing or to stay bolted from now on for evermore.”

“Do you conceive, with all your smooth contempt of every feeling,
Of hiding what you know and what you must have known before?
Is it worth a woman’s torture to stand here and have you smiling,
With only your poor fetish of possession on your side?
No thing but one is wholly sure, and that’s not one to scare me;
When I meet it I may say to God at last that I have tried.
And yet, for all I know, or all I dare believe, my trials
Henceforward will be more for you to bear than are your own;
And you must give me keys of yours to rooms I have not entered.
Do you see me on your threshold all my life, and there alone?
Will you tell me where you see me in your fancy—when it leads you
Far enough beyond the moment for a glance at the abyss?”

“Will you tell me what intrinsic and amazing sort of nonsense
You are crowding on the patience of the man who gives you—this?
Look around you and be sorry you’re not living in an attic,
With a civet and a fish-net, and with you to pay the rent.
I say words that you can spell without the use of all your letters;
And I grant, if you insist, that I’ve a guess at what you meant.”

“Have I told you, then, for nothing, that I met him? Are you trying
To be merry while you try to make me hate you?”

“Think again,
My dear, before you tell me, in a language unbecoming
To a lady, what you plan to tell me next. If I complain,
If I seem an atom peevish at the preference you mention—
Or imply, to be precise—you may believe, or you may not,
That I’m a trifle more aware of what he wants than you are.
But I shouldn’t throw that at you. Make believe that I forgot.
Make believe that he’s a genius, if you like,—but in the meantime
Don’t go back to rocking-horses. There, there, there, now.”

“Make believe!
When you see me standing helpless on a plank above a whirlpool,
Do I drown, or do I hear you when you say it? Make believe?
How much more am I to say or do for you before I tell you
That I met him! What’s to follow now may be for you to choose.
Do you hear me? Won’t you listen? It’s an easy thing to listen….”

“And it’s easy to be crazy when there’s everything to lose.”
“If at last you have a notion that I mean what I am saying,
Do I seem to tell you nothing when I tell you I shall try?
If you save me, and I lose him—I don’t know—it won’t much matter.
I dare say that I’ve lied enough, but now I do not lie.”

“Do you fancy me the one man who has waited and said nothing
While a wife has dragged an old infatuation from a tomb?
Give the thing a little air and it will vanish into ashes.
There you are—piff! presto!”

“When I came into this room,
It seemed as if I saw the place, and you there at your table,
As you are now at this moment, for the last time in my life;
And I told myself before I came to find you, ‘I shall tell him,
If I can, what I have learned of him since I became his wife.’
And if you say, as I’ve no doubt you will before I finish,
That you have tried unceasingly, with all your might and main,
To teach me, knowing more than I of what it was I needed,
Don’t think, with all you may have thought, that you have tried in vain;
For you have taught me more than hides in all the shelves of knowledge
Of how little you found that’s in me and was in me all along.
I believed, if I intruded nothing on you that I cared for,
I’d be half as much as horses,—and it seems that I was wrong;
I believed there was enough of earth in me, with all my nonsense
Over things that made you sleepy, to keep something still awake;
But you taught me soon to read my book, and God knows I have read it—
Ages longer than an angel would have read it for your sake.
I have said that you must open other doors than I have entered,
But I wondered while I said it if I might not be obscure.
Is there anything in all your pedigrees and inventories
With a value more elusive than a dollar’s? Are you sure
That if I starve another year for you I shall be stronger
To endure another like it—and another—till I’m dead?”

“Has your tame cat sold a picture?—or more likely had a windfall?
Or for God’s sake, what’s broke loose? Have you a bee-hive in your head?
A little more of this from you will not be easy hearing
Do you know that? Understand it, if you do; for if you won’t….
What the devil are you saying! Make believe you never said it,
And I’ll say I never heard it…. Oh, you…. If you….”

“If I don’t?”
“There are men who say there’s reason hidden somewhere in a woman,
But I doubt if God himself remembers where the key was hung.”

“He may not; for they say that even God himself is growing.
I wonder if He makes believe that He is growing young;
I wonder if He makes believe that women who are giving
All they have in holy loathing to a stranger all their lives
Are the wise ones who build houses in the Bible….”

“Stop—you devil!”
“…Or that souls are any whiter when their bodies are called wives.
If a dollar’s worth of gold will hoop the walls of hell together,
Why need heaven be such a ruin of a place that never was?
And if at last I lied my starving soul away to nothing,
Are you sure you might not miss it? Have you come to such a pass
That you would have me longer in your arms if you discovered
That I made you into someone else…. Oh!…Well, there are worse ways.
But why aim it at my feet—unless you fear you may be sorry….
There are many days ahead of you.”

“I do not see those days.”
“I can see them. Granted even I am wrong, there are the children.
And are they to praise their father for his insight if we die?
Do you hear them? Do you hear them overhead—the children—singing?
Do you hear them? Do you hear the children?”
“Damn the children!”

“Why?
What have they done?…Well, then,—do it…. Do it now, and have it over.”
“Oh, you devil!…Oh, you….”

“No, I’m not a devil, I’m a prophet—
One who sees the end already of so much that one end more
Would have now the small importance of one other small illusion,
Which in turn would have a welcome where the rest have gone before.
But if I were you, my fancy would look on a little farther
For the glimpse of a release that may be somewhere still in sight.
Furthermore, you must remember those two hundred invitations
For the dancing after dinner. We shall have to shine tonight.
We shall dance, and be as happy as a pair of merry spectres,
On the grave of all the lies that we shall never have to tell;
We shall dance among the ruins of the tomb of our endurance,
And I have not a doubt that we shall do it very well.
There!—I’m glad you’ve put it back; for I don’t like it. Shut the drawer now.
No—no—don’t cancel anything. I’ll dance until I drop.
I can’t walk yet, but I’m going to…. Go away somewhere, and leave me….
Oh, you children! Oh, you children!…God, will they never stop!”

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