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The Dirties

Cast: Matthew Johnson, Owen Williams, Krista Madison, Brandon Wickens, Jay McCarrol, Josh Boles, Shailene Garnett, Alen Delain

trailer for The Dirties, directed by Matthew Johnson, screenplay, inspired by Josh Boles (2013)Report problemRelated quotes
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Using Boot Camp

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Annie Marshall the Foundling

Annie Marshall was a foundling, and lived in Downderry,
And was trained up by a coast-guardsman, kind-hearted and merry
And he loved Annie Marshall as dear as his life,
And he resolved to make her his own loving wife.

The night was tempestuous, most terrific, and pitch dark,
When Matthew Pengelly rescued Annie Marshall from an ill-fated barque,
But her parents were engulfed in the briny deep,
Which caused poor Annie at times to sigh and weep.

One day Matthew asked Annie if she would be his wife,
And Annie replied, I never thought of it in all my life;
Yes, my wife, Annie, replied Matthew, hold hard a bit,
Remember, Annie, I've watched you grow up, and consider you most fit.

Poor Annie did not speak, she remained quite mute,
And with agitation she trembled from head to foot,
The poor girl was in a dilemma, she knew not what to say,
And owing to Matthew training her, she couldn't say him nay.

Oh! Matthew, I'm afraid I would not make you a good wife,
And in that respect there would be too much strife,
And the thought thereof, believe me, makes me feel ill,
Because I'm unfit to be thy wife, Matthew, faltered the poor girl.

Time will prove that, dear Annie, but why are you so calm?
Then Annie put her hand shyly into Matthew's brown palm
Just then the flashing lightning played upon Annie's face,
And the loud thunder drowned Matthew's words as Annie left the place.

But Matthew looked after her as she went home straightway,
And his old heart felt light and gay,
As he looked forward for his coming marriage day,
Because he knew that Annie Marshall couldn't say him nay.

Then the sky drew dark, and the sea lashed itself into foam,
But he heeded it not as he sat there alone,
Till the sound of a gun came booming o'er the sea,
Then Matthew had to attend to his duty immediately.

A ship, he muttered, Lord, help them! and coming right in by the sound,
And in a few minutes she will run aground.
And the vessel was dashed against the rocks with her helpless crew,
Then in hot haste for assistance Matthew instantly flew.

Then Matthew returned with a few men all willing to lend their aid,
But amongst them all Matthew seemed the least afraid;
Then an old man cried, Save my boy, for his mother's sake,
Oh! Matthew, try and save him, or my heart will break!

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Handles Bermuda

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Your Love

[jay-z]
Christion.. listen
Uhh, jigga
How easy is that?
Lame mad cause the game that i, spat at his chick
So i had to double back quick, and clap at his click
Soon as the smoke cleared, i got back in his *bitch*
Tell that man son, i ain't your ave-rage
My-rap-is-as-sick-as-it-gets
All the while, hand my hand on her, ass and hips
Told her, "let's get gone; listen to christion"
Play full of smoke, take small pulls to choke
She almost overdosed, how them cats hold their notes
Know that the flow's no joke, mine strictly fold dough
And since you over age, and, i'm overpaid
We can play in the rover til the verse is over.. jay
[christion] (bring back your love) bring back your love babe
[jay-z] for the color y'all (bring back your love) funk dat
[christion] bring back your love
[jay-z] (bring back your love) geyeah
[christion] bring back your love babe
[jay-z] right, for the color y'all (bring back your love) uh
[christion] bring back your love (two, three)
[jay-z] turn that up.. uh-huh
[christion]
I... uhh, think of you
Late at night (uh-huh) love that's all i do
Tell me why (uh-huh, jigga, uh-huh) do you have to leave
Love me lady (uh) c'mon (uh) bring it back to meee..
[jay-z] for the color (bring back your love) yea
[christion] bring back your love bab-ay
[jay-z] (bring back your love) yea
[christion] begging you bring it back to meee
[jay-z] (bring back your love) uh-huh, who you wit
[christion] uh-huh, baby come on back
[jay-z] (bring back your love) oh yea
[christion] bring back your love
[jay-z] yeah, yeah, pause .. who you wit
[christion]
Love (uh-huh), is a funny thing
When i'm with your babe (gi geya) you make my heart sing
It's so cold .. it's so colllld .. inside my bed
Come back home (yea) .. come back home ..
Because i don't wanna fuss and fight (funk dat)
Baby i wanna talk, about you and me
This ain't the way it's 'sposed to be
I don't wanna be alone, so bring back your love
[jay-z] uh, uh, uh (bring back your love) yea
[christion] do you wanna hear me beg baby
[jay-z] uh-huh uh uh (bring back your love)

[...] Read more

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Luggage Canada

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Excuse Me Miss

[intro: jay-z]
You cant roll a blunt to this one
You gotta, you gotta well, ya gotta light a j
You gotta puff a j on this one {*inhales*}
You cant even drink crist-owl on this one
You gotta drink crist-all
Buy some red wine, a little gocha 9-7
This is for the grown and sexy, uhh
[pharrell - over the end of jay-zs intro]
Youre so contagious, I cant take it
Have my baby, lets just make it
Ex-cuse me; whats your name?
[jay-z]
Yeah, can I get my grown man on for one second?
Cause I see some ladies tonight that should be hangin wit jay-z, jay-z
(pharrell: so hot to trot.. la-dy!)
Excuse me miss, whats your name?
Can you come, hang with me?
Possibly, can I take you out, to-night
[verse one]
You already know what its hittin for
Ma I got whatever outside and you know what Im sittin on
50/50 venture with them s dots kickin off
Armadale poppin now, only bring a nigga more
Only thing missin is a missus
You aint even gotta do the dishes, got two dishwashers
Got one chef, one maid, all I need is a partner
To play spades with the cards up, all trust
Who else you gon run with, the truth is us
Only dudes movin units - em, pimp juice and us
.. its the roc in here!
Maebach outside got (? ) air
Pjs on the runway, young got air
I dont land at a airport, I call it the clearport
Therefore, I dont wanna hear more
Back and forth about whos hot as young, holla!
[ph.w.] sex-cuse me... damn!
[ph.w.] youre so contagious, I cant take it
[ph.w.] have my baby, lets just make it
[jay-z] I got my gocha 9-7 on right now
[ph.w.] la-dy..
[jay-z] you gotta puff a j to this one
[jay-z] cant roll a blunt up to this one boy
[ph.w.] youre so contagious, I cant take it
[ph.w.] have my baby, lets just make it
[ph.w.] ex-cuse me; whats your name? (aoww!)
[jay-z] cause I see some ladies tonight
That should be rollin wit jay-z, jay-z
[ph.w.] so hot to trot.. la-dy! whats your name?
[jay-z] cause I see some ladies tonight

[...] Read more

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Byron

Canto the Eighth

I
Oh blood and thunder! and oh blood and wounds!
These are but vulgar oaths, as you may deem,
Too gentle reader! and most shocking sounds:
And so they are; yet thus is Glory's dream
Unriddled, and as my true Muse expounds
At present such things, since they are her theme,
So be they her inspirers! Call them Mars,
Bellona, what you will -- they mean but wars.

II
All was prepared -- the fire, the sword, the men
To wield them in their terrible array.
The army, like a lion from his den,
March'd forth with nerve and sinews bent to slay, --
A human Hydra, issuing from its fen
To breathe destruction on its winding way,
Whose heads were heroes, which cut off in vain
Immediately in others grew again.

III
History can only take things in the gross;
But could we know them in detail, perchance
In balancing the profit and the loss,
War's merit it by no means might enhance,
To waste so much gold for a little dross,
As hath been done, mere conquest to advance.
The drying up a single tear has more
Of honest fame, than shedding seas of gore.

IV
And why? -- because it brings self-approbation;
Whereas the other, after all its glare,
Shouts, bridges, arches, pensions from a nation,
Which (it may be) has not much left to spare,
A higher title, or a loftier station,
Though they may make Corruption gape or stare,
Yet, in the end, except in Freedom's battles,
Are nothing but a child of Murder's rattles.

V
And such they are -- and such they will be found:
Not so Leonidas and Washington,
Whose every battle-field is holy ground,
Which breathes of nations saved, not worlds undone.
How sweetly on the ear such echoes sound!
While the mere victor's may appal or stun
The servile and the vain, such names will be
A watchword till the future shall be free.

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Epitaph on an Unread Verse after William Carlos Williams' Red Wheelbarrow

This is just to play on plum phrases
hibernating in your brainbox,
which your neurones were probably waiting for
to break free fast.

Forgive me their taste is delicious,
so neat and so bold.

An agèd poet with hollow laughter
swiftly sprayed her incisive syllables
in consonant activity and, yearning,
paid [s]lip service:

so much depends
upon lifelong learning's expectations,
an unread verse [s]pokes for comments,
reigns above lily-livered chicken-hearted critics
before a blank screen.

so much more depends
upon monochromatic ash clouds
glazed with silicates
beside Icelandic
eruptions.

Life is verse role-reversing uninclined ignorance
shadowing dis...inclined ink lined page.

(Revised 3 October 2009 and19 Aptil 2010)

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
William Carlos Williams 1883_1963

Variation on a Theme by William Carlos Williams
1 I chopped down the house that you had been saving to live in next summer. I am sorry, but it was morning, and I had nothing to do and its wooden beams were so inviting.

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Can I Get A...

[jay-z]
Bounce wit me, bounce wit me
Can ya can ya can ya bounce wit me, bounce wit me
Ya-yah-yah, ya-ya-yah-yeah bounce wit me, bounce wit me
Ge-gi, ge-gi-gi-gi-geyeah bounce wit me, bounce wit me
Get it!
Verse one: jay-z
Can i hit in the morning
Without giving you half of my dough
And even worse if i was broke would you want me?
If i couldn't get you finer things
Like all of them diamond rings [niggaz] kill for
Would you still roll?
If we couldn't see the sun risin off the shore of thailand
Would you ride then, if it wasn't droppin?
If wasn't ah, eight figure [nigga] by the name of jigga
Would you come around naked, would you clown me?
If i couldn't flow futuristic would ya
Put your two lips on my [dick], kiss it - could ya
See yourself with a [nigga] workin harder than 9 to 5
Contend with six, two jobs to survive, or
Do you need a balla? so you can shop and tear the mall up?
Brag, tell your friends what i bought ya
If you couldn't see yourself with a [nigga] when his dough is low
Baby girl, if this is so, yo..
Chorus: repeat 2x
[jay-z] can i get a what what
To these chickens from all of my doves
Who don't love those, they get no dough
[amil] can i get a woop woop
To these fellas from all of my ladies
Who don't got love for players without dubs?
[amil] now can you bounce wit me, uhh
[jay-z] bounce wit me, bounce wit me
Can ya can ya can ya bounce wit me, bounce wit me
[amil] uh uh.. major coins
[jay-z] bounce wit me, bounce wit me
[amil] yeah, not done
[jay-z] can ya can ya can ya bounce wit me, bounce wit me
[amil] uh-uh uh uh
Verse two: amil
You ain't gotta be rich but funk dat
How a [bitch] gonna get around your bus pass
? put this [ass] on your mustache
Can you afford me, my ? ? this, never corny
Ambition makes me, so horny, i come fussin in the
Front end, if you got nuttin, baby boy, you betta
"git up, git out and get somethin" [shit!]
I like a, lot of pravada, alize and baca
Late nights, candlelight, can i tear the [cock] up

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Johnson’s Antidote

Down along the Snakebite River, where the overlanders camp,
Where the serpents are in millions, all of the most deadly stamp;
Where the station-cook in terror, nearly every time he bakes,
Mixes up among the doughboys half-a-dozen poison-snakes:
Where the wily free-selector walks in armour-plated pants,
And defies the stings of scorpions, and the bites of bull-dog ants:
Where the adder and the viper tear each other by the throat,—
There it was that William Johnson sought his snake-bite antidote.
Johnson was a free-selector, and his brain went rather queer,
For the constant sight of serpents filled him with a deadly fear;
So he tramped his free-selection, morning, afternoon, and night,
Seeking for some great specific that would cure the serpent’s bite.
Till King Billy, of the Mooki, chieftain of the flour-bag head,
Told him, “Spos’n snake bite pfeller, pfeller mostly drop down dead;
Spos’n snake bite old goanna, then you watch a while you see,
Old goanna cure himself with eating little pfeller tree.”
“That’s the cure,” said William Johnson, “point me out this plant sublime,”
But King Billy, feeling lazy, said he’d go another time.
Thus it came to pass that Johnson, having got the tale by rote,
Followed every stray goanna, seeking for the antidote.


. . . . .
Loafing once beside the river, while he thought his heart would break,
There he saw a big goanna fighting with a tiger-snake,
In and out they rolled and wriggled, bit each other, heart and soul,
Till the valiant old goanna swallowed his opponent whole.
Breathless, Johnson sat and watched him, saw him struggle up the bank,
Saw him nibbling at the branches of some bushes, green and rank;
Saw him, happy and contented, lick his lips, as off he crept,
While the bulging in his stomach showed where his opponent slept.
Then a cheer of exultation burst aloud from Johnson’s throat;
“Luck at last,” said he, “I’ve struck it! ’tis the famous antidote.

“Here it is, the Grand Elixir, greatest blessing ever known,—
Twenty thousand men in India die each year of snakes alone.
Think of all the foreign nations, negro, chow, and blackamoor,
Saved from sudden expiration, by my wondrous snakebite cure.
It will bring me fame and fortune! In the happy days to be,
Men of every clime and nation will be round to gaze on me—
Scientific men in thousands, men of mark and men of note,
Rushing down the Mooki River, after Johnson’s antidote.
It will cure delirium tremens, when the patient’s eyeballs stare
At imaginary spiders, snakes which really are not there.
When he thinks he sees them wriggle, when he thinks he sees them bloat,
It will cure him just to think of Johnson’s Snakebite Antidote.”

Then he rushed to the museum, found a scientific man—
“Trot me out a deadly serpent, just the deadliest you can;
I intend to let him bite me, all the risk I will endure,

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Miss Reid's Speed Seeds Misread Red Weed Barrow Greed Screed

Miss Reid's Speed Seeds Misread Red Weed Barrow Greed Screed


So much depends upon callow Monsanto’s
arrow minded rein reign
glazed with gain and, again, phrased with pain,

wheedling sallow farmers who see red
forced to furrow b[l]ushels of transgenic sterile crop seeds
on narrow plain
lots which soon lie fallow
rather than wide marrow
raised with rain
and fertile appetizers

Need greed's speed weed reeds
beside white ants’
terror might nest?


Fazed again, who chickens out of errors?

12 October 2009 robi3_1928_will5_0006 PVW_JNX
Parody William Carlos Williams 1883_1963 The Red Wheelbarrow


The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon
a red
wheelbarrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens


William Carlos WILLIAMS 1883_1963

WILLIAMS William Carlos 1883_1963 will5_0001_will5_0000 PXX_NXX The Red Wheelbarrow_So Much Depends
__________________

The Yellow Goldfish

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My Fault

the tears run down my face
for yet again they disprove of him
when will they like him cause
I will never date anyone else but him
so I’ll just have to put up with this
shit for two more years
I’m sure if we can make it through that
we can make it through anything

some times I wish for another
but I know I couldn’t be able to brake his heart
for his pain would be so great
that it might kill the both of us
for his pain becomes mine
and mine becomes his
because of the bond of life
has always been there under our noses
we were just to blind to notice
once we did notice we feel hard and fast.
the faster we fell
the harder it was to break us apart
right now I feel as if our bond and our lives
are consumed by our love
neither one of us could live with out the other in our lives
for we feed off of each other
I cant stand being away from him

but yet there is anther that they will approve of.
the other guy(josh) is tearing my heart into two pieces
and my beautiful relationship with my boyfriend
I really don’t want that to happen
so every day I tell my self
I don’t like josh a million times
but once I see him he takes my breath away
he makes me almost faint and as he comes closer to hug me
my knees become week and
I want to given to the little devil on my shoulder that’s saying
look at josh he is gorgeous go with josh
take him into your world and show him a good time
but the angle says no
you love mason take mason into your world and mason is hot
take mason into your world
not josh... no josh..... stay away from him he’s trouble

yes josh is gorgeous but I love mason
and I always will love mason
no matter what happens
not even a huge crush such as josh
cause I’ am mason’s soul mate and he is mine
we belong together and not apart for we are in love

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Johnson, alias Crow

Where the seasons are divided and the bush begins to change,
and the links are rather broken in the Great Dividing Range;
where the atmosphere is hazy underneath the summer sky,
lies the little town of Eton, rather westward of Mackay.
Near the township, in the graveyard, where the dead of Eton go,
lies the body of a sinner known as “Johnson alias Crow”.
He was sixty-four was Johnson, and in other days, lang syne,
was apprenticed to a ship-wright in the land across the Rhine;
but, whatever were his prospects in the days of long ago,
things went very bad with Johnson—Heinrich Johnson (alias Crow).
He, at Eton—where he drifted in his age, a stranded wreck—
got three pounds by false pretences, in connection with a cheque.
But he didn’t long enjoy it, the police soon got to know;
and the lockup closed on Johnson, lonely Johnson alias Crow.
Friday night, and Crow retired, feeling, as he said, unwell;
and the warder heard the falling of a body in the cell.
Going in, the warder saw him bent with pain and crouching low—
Death had laid his hand on Johnson, Heinrich Johnson, alias Crow.
Then the constable bent o’er him—asked him where he felt the pain. Johnson only said, “I’m dying”—and he never spoke again.
They had waited for a witness, and the local people say
Johnson’s trial would have ended on that very Saturday;
but he took his case for judgment where our cases all must go,
and the higher court is trying Heinrich Johnson (alias Crow).

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Dr Samuel Johnson's Dictionary Masterpiece

June 1746 deeply dissatisfied
with the dictionaries of the period
London booksellers contracted

Dr Samuel Johnson to write
'A Dictionary of the English Language'
15 April 1755 finally published.

Johnson took nine years to create
an authoritative dictionary of the English language
could finish in three years he claimed?

Preposterous Académie Française employed;
in comparison over forty learned scholars
spending needing forty years to complete;


its dictionary in the French language.
Forty Frenchmen times forty years
is not nine but 1600 years to complete.

Miracle miracle Johnson 1591 years defeats.
For what princely sum did Johnson contract
with William Strahan and printer associates;

a preeminent Dictionary in English to complete?
18 June 1746 in historic morning was signed
a project prestigious contact worth 1,500 guineas?

This sum of 1,500 guineas is
in pounds £1,575 equivalent
in 2012 to about £230,000.


A consortium of London's most
successful printers including Robert
Dodsley, Thomas Longman, would

finance a dictionary none could afford;
on such scale to undertake alone, thus was
contracted to be; a meticulous feat of legend.

Twas said 'the world contemplated
with wonder so stupendous a work achieved
by one man, while other countries

had thought such undertakings
fit only for whole academies'.'
OED took writers 70 years to complete.

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Operation Avalanche

Cast: Matt Johnson, Owen Williams, Josh Boles, Jared Raab, Krista Madison, Joe Thomas, Tom Bolton, Sharon Belle, Chris Gonsalves

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Gravely Oppose Bush Obama Imposed Poverty

honest Abe Lincoln born in a one-room log cabin;
on the Sinking Spring Farm in Hardin County
Kentucky inspired by a Separate Baptists church;

was a self-educated man of high moral standards;
opposed to the monstrous injustice of slavery
Abraham lead his people nation to a moral victory;

Abe upheld the ideals values of the Founding Fathers;
Abe insisted that God said all men are created equal
Abe successfully led his country through its greatest;

constitutional, military and moral crisis Civil War;
at the Gettysburg Address Abe declared the nation
was conceived in Liberty and men are created equal;

James Madison hailed as 'Father of the Constitution'
instrumental in drafting the United States Constitution
champion author of the United States Bill of Rights;

fought for constitutional guarantees for religious liberty;
infused religious freedom into Constitution and Bill of Rights
hyenas centuries later striped religion from US schools;

born in an age when rich whites owned hundreds of slaves;
Madison's slave Paul Jennings later wrote Madison
never personally struck a slave nor permitted his overseers;

to strike slaves, Jennings wrote if a slave misbehaved;
'Madison would meet with the person privately
to try to talk about the behavior' to resolve spur issues;

the moral lesson here is might proves not who is right;
might proves merely who is strongest with biggest stick
if pen be mightier than the sword what lesson is learned?

Madison's writings are still import perspective studied;
weighted measured for their debate over human rights
among different classes of citizens in the 21st century;

the anticipated danger of a strong majority;
imposing its will on a weaker minority
by popular vote can be an attack on liberty;

study Madison in 'The Federalist Papers' No.51
'It is of great importance in a republic not
only to guard the society against the oppression

of its rulers, but to guard one part of the society
against the injustice of the other part... In a society

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Change Clothes

[Intro: Jay-Z (Pharrell)]
Uh, uh, uh, yeah, uh, your boy is back
(Sexy sexy) I know y'all miss the bounce
Need to bounce for the sexy you know
[Verse 1: Jay-Z]
Yeah ma, your dude is back, made back roof is back
Tell the whole world the truth is back
You ain't got to argue about who could rap
Cause the proof is back just go through my rap
New York New York yeah where my troopers at
Where my hustlers where my boosters at
I don't care what you do for stacks
I know the world glued you back to the wall
You gotta brawl to that
I been through that, been shot at shoot back
Gotta keep it peace like a buddhist
I ain't a New Jack nobody 'gon Wesley Snipe me
It's less than likely, move back
Let I breathe Jedi knight
The more space I get the better I write
(Oh) Never I write, but, if, ever I write
I need the space to say whatever I like, now just
[Chorus: Jay-Z (Pharrell)]
(Change clothes and go)You know I stay fresh to death
I bought you from the projects
And I'm a take you to the top of the globe so let's go (Change numbers and go)
Uh huh yeah, uh (Now girl I promise you, no substitute) It's just me
[Verse 2: Jay-Z]
And I 'gon tell you again let's get ghost in the phantom
You could bring your friend we copuld make this a tandem
You could come by yourself and you could stand him
Best believe I sweat out weaves, give afropuffs like R.A.G.E.
Awww you get If you could move it
Back it on up like a U Haul truck
Then run and tell them thugs you heard Hovi knew
He and the boy for real make beautiful music
He is to the east coast what Snoop is, to the west coast what Face is to Houston
Young Hov in the house it's so necessary
No bra with the blouse it's so necessary
No panties and jeans that's so necessary
Now why you frontin on me is that necessary
Do I to you look like a lame
Who don't understand a bra with a mean shoe game
Whose up on Dot Dot Dot and Vera Wang
Ma are you insane, let's just
(Woman speaking: What you want me to do?)
[Chorus: Jay-Z (Pharrell)]
(Change clothes and go)You know I stay fresh to death
I bought you from the projects
And I'm a take you to the top of the globe so let's go (Change numbers and go)

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Matthew & Son

Up at eight, you can't be late
For matthew & son, he won't wait.
Watch them run down to platform one
And the eight-thirty train to matthew & son.
Matthew & son, the work's never done, there's always something new.
The files in your head, you take them to bed, you're never ever through.
And they've been working all day, all day, all day!
There's a five minute break and that's all you take,
For a cup of cold coffee and a piece of cake.
Matthew & son, the work's never done, there's always something new.
The files in your head, you take them to bed, you're never ever through.
And they've been working all day, all day, all day!
He's got people who've been working for fifty years
No one asks for more money cuz nobody cares
Even though they're pretty low and their rent's in arrears
Matthew & son, matthew & son, matthew & son, matthew & son,
And they've been working all day, all day, all day!

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Matthew Son

Up at eight, you cant be late
For matthew & son, he wont wait.
Watch them run down to platform one
And the eight-thirty train to matthew & son.
Matthew & son, the works never done, theres always something new.
The files in your head, you take them to bed, youre never ever through.
And theyve been working all day, all day, all day!
Theres a five minute break and thats all you take,
For a cup of cold coffee and a piece of cake.
Matthew & son, the works never done, theres always something new.
The files in your head, you take them to bed, youre never ever through.
And theyve been working all day, all day, all day!
Hes got people whove been working for fifty years
No one asks for more money cuz nobody cares
Even though theyre pretty low and their rents in arrears
Matthew & son, matthew & son, matthew & son, matthew & son,
And theyve been working all day, all day, all day!

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La Fontaine

Belphegor Addressed To Miss De Chammelay

YOUR name with ev'ry pleasure here I place,
The last effusions of my muse to grace.
O charming Phillis! may the same extend
Through time's dark night: our praise together blend;
To this we surely may pretend to aim
Your acting and my rhymes attention claim.
Long, long in mem'ry's page your fame shall live;
You, who such ecstacy so often give;
O'er minds, o'er hearts triumphantly you reign:
In Berenice, in Phaedra, and Chimene,
Your tears and plaintive accents all engage:
Beyond compare in proud Camilla's rage;
Your voice and manner auditors delight;
Who strong emotions can so well excite?
No fine eulogium from my pen expect:
With you each air and grace appear correct
My first of Phillis's you ought to be;
My sole affection had been placed on thee;
Long since, had I presumed the truth to tell;
But he who loves would fain be loved as well.

NO hope of gaining such a charming fair,
Too soon, perhaps, I ceded to despair;
Your friend, was all I ventured to be thought,
Though in your net I more than half was caught.
Most willingly your lover I'd have been;
But time it is our story should be seen.

ONE, day, old Satan, sov'reign dread of hell;
Reviewed his subjects, as our hist'ries tell;
The diff'rent ranks, confounded as they stood,
Kings, nobles, females, and plebeian blood,
Such grief expressed, and made such horrid cries,
As almost stunned, and filled him with surprise.
The monarch, as he passed, desired to know
The cause that sent each shade to realms below.
Some said--my HUSBAND; others WIFE replied;
The same was echoed loud from ev'ry side.

His majesty on this was heard to say:
If truth these shadows to my ears convey,
With ease our glory we may now augment:
I'm fully bent to try th' experiment.
With this design we must some demon send,
Who wily art with prudence well can blend;
And, not content with watching Hymen's flock,
Must add his own experience to the stock.

THE sable senate instantly approved
The proposition that the monarch moved;

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