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Dr. Seuss' The Lorax [The Lorax Revives the Once-ler by the River]

Cast: Danny DeVito (voice), Ed Helms (voice)

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Rudyard Kipling

Danny Deever

"What are the bugles blowin' for?" said Files-on-Parade.
"To turn you out, to turn you out", the Colour-Sergeant said.
"What makes you look so white, so white?" said Files-on-Parade.
"I'm dreadin' what I've got to watch", the Colour-Sergeant said.
For they're hangin' Danny Deever, you can hear the Dead March play,
The regiment's in 'ollow square -- they're hangin' him to-day;
They've taken of his buttons off an' cut his stripes away,
An' they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.

"What makes the rear-rank breathe so 'ard?" said Files-on-Parade.
"It's bitter cold, it's bitter cold", the Colour-Sergeant said.
"What makes that front-rank man fall down?" said Files-on-Parade.
"A touch o' sun, a touch o' sun", the Colour-Sergeant said.
They are hangin' Danny Deever, they are marchin' of 'im round,
They 'ave 'alted Danny Deever by 'is coffin on the ground;
An' 'e'll swing in 'arf a minute for a sneakin' shootin' hound --
O they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'!

"'Is cot was right-'and cot to mine", said Files-on-Parade.
"'E's sleepin' out an' far to-night", the Colour-Sergeant said.
"I've drunk 'is beer a score o' times", said Files-on-Parade.
"'E's drinkin' bitter beer alone", the Colour-Sergeant said.
They are hangin' Danny Deever, you must mark 'im to 'is place,
For 'e shot a comrade sleepin' -- you must look 'im in the face;
Nine 'undred of 'is county an' the regiment's disgrace,
While they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.

"What's that so black agin' the sun?" said Files-on-Parade.
"It's Danny fightin' 'ard for life", the Colour-Sergeant said.
"What's that that whimpers over'ead?" said Files-on-Parade.
"It's Danny's soul that's passin' now", the Colour-Sergeant said.
For they're done with Danny Deever, you can 'ear the quickstep play,
The regiment's in column, an' they're marchin' us away;
Ho! the young recruits are shakin', an' they'll want their beer to-day,
After hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.

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Are You Down?

Danny: yo, jordan! whats up?
Jordan: hey danny! whats happening?
Oh, here comes little joey joe down the street
Joe: ho! whats happenin fellas?
Jordan: yo, theres jon, but has anyone seen donnie?
Danny: I dont know, but I thought I saw him walking towards the corner store.
Joe: nah, hes at the park playing ball
Jon: oh, here he comes now
(ad libbed greetings)
Donnie: hey guys!
Danny: where have you been?
Donnie: man, Ive got a story to tell!
All: hit it!
Donnie:
Saw a homegirl at the corner store
Eyes started bugging, mouth fell to the floor
She had a miniskirt and a sexy pose
I tried to rap to her, but I just froze
Tell me now fellas, what can I do?
To make a girl like me, like a girl likes you?
Danny:well homeboy get ready!
Joe: cause you want correcting
Jordan: cause a girl needs love
All: and plenty of affection
Jon: if a girl were mine, Id give her the world
Id buy her diamonds and pearls just to make her my girl
Jordan: that might work with your girl, but not with mine.
Shes not the type of girl to fall for any line
Joe: Id take her out to dinner, treat her like a winner
I may be young, but Im no beginner
Danny: all your ways are good, but not as good as mine
You have to be sincere for a girl that fine!
Chorus
Baby, wont you please be mine?
Are you down?
Baby, wont you please be mine?
Are you down? ho!
Danny: alright then, d., since you gave it a try
All: tell us about the girl who caught your eye
Donnie:
It was after school and I was feeling cool
til I saw that girl and I started to drool
So I thought to myself, take it easily
I couldnt let peer pressure get the best of me
I thought to myself, what should I do?
Thats when she came up on me and said i love you
Donnie: who me?
All: yeah, you!
Donnie: couldnt be!
All: but its true!

[...] Read more

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Danny

(words & music by wise - weisman)
My name should be trouble
My name should be woe
For trouble and heartache
Is all that I know
But danny, yes, danny is my name
My life has been empty
My heart has been torn
It must have been rainy, oh yeah,
The night I was born
Oh danny, oh danny is my name
Im so afraid of tomorrow
So tired of today
They say that love is the answer
But love never came my way
Im writing a letter
To someone I know
So if you should find it
And if youre alone
Oh danny, yes, danny is my name
Oh danny, yes, danny is my name
Oh-oh-oh-oh

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Edgar Lee Masters

Epilogue

(THE GRAVEYARD OF SPOON RIVER. TWO VOICES ARE HEARD BEHIND A SCREEN DECORATED WITH DIABOLICAL AND ANGELIC FIGURES IN VARIOUS ALLEGORICAL RELATIONS. A FAINT LIGHT SHOWS DIMLY THROUGH THE SCREEN AS IF IT WERE WOVEN OF LEAVES, BRANCHES AND SHADOWS.)

FIRST VOICE

A game of checkers?

SECOND VOICE

Well, I don't mind.

FIRST VOICE

I move the Will.

SECOND VOICE

You're playing it blind.

FIRST VOICE

Then here's the Soul.

SECOND VOICE

Checked by the Will.

FIRST VOICE

Eternal Good!

SECOND VOICE

And Eternal Ill.

FIRST VOICE

I haste for the King row.

SECOND VOICE

Save your breath.

FIRST VOICE

I was moving Life.

SECOND VOICE

You're checked by Death.

[...] Read more

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Stone the Crows

'Why stone the crows!' 'e sez. 'I like 'er style,
But alwiz, some'ow, women 'ave appeared
Set fer to 'old me orf a 'arf a mile.
I dunno wot's agin me: p'raps me beard.
But, some'ow, when I speak 'em soft they run.
I ain't no ladies' man,' sez Danny Dunn.

'I like 'er style,' 'e sez. 'Wot's 'er name? Rose.
The neatest filly that I ever see.
She'd run in double splendid. But I s'pose,
She'd never 'arness with the likes uv me.
Wot age you tell me? Risin' twenty-nine?
Well, stone the flamin' crows! She'd do me fine.

'I wonder can she milk? Don't look that kind.
But even if she don't I would n't care
Not much. Stone all the crows! I'd 'arf a mind
To 'ave a shave an' 'ang me 'at up there.
But I ain't got the knack uv it, yeh know,
Or I'd been spliced this twenty year ago.'

Ole Danny Dunn 'as been to pay 'is call
An' tell us 'e'll be settlin' down 'ere soon.
'E lobbed in on us sudden, ziff an' all,
An' ain't done nothin' all the afternoon
But lap up tea an' stare pop-eyed at Rose,
'E ain't said nothin' much but 'Stone the crows!'

Now, as I sees 'im orf, down by the gate,
'E's chirpin' love-songs like a nestin' thrush.
Rose 'as 'im by the w'iskers, sure as fate;
Fer Spring 'as sent 'im soft all uv a rush.
'E's got the beans; an' so she's fixed fer life,
If Danny's game to arst 'er fer 'is wife.

An' so me scheme works out all on its own.
I grabbed the notion that day in the train,
When Danny tole me that 'e lived alone.
I reckoned, then, I'd 'ave to use me brain;
But 'ere 'e is, stonin' the crows a treat,
An' keen to sling is pile at Rose's feet.

I'll show 'em! Them 'oo thinks I got no brains
Will crash when Rose is Mrs. Danny Dunn.
Doreen don't need to go to too much pains
To show me that she thinks I've nex' to none,
When I take on a job I don't let go
Until I've fixed it, all sirgarneo.

'Listen,' sez Danny. 'Do yeh think a man

[...] Read more

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The Dance

'Heirlums,' 'e sez. 'I've 'ad the trousiz pressed.
Me father married in 'em, that 'e did.
See this 'ere fancy vest?
See this 'ere lid?
Me gran'dad brought that frum 'is native land
In forty-two-an' then 'twas second-'and.'

Clobber? Oh, 'el! Pants uv wild shepherd's plaid,
A coat that might 'ave knocked the cliners flat
When father was a lad,
A tall, pot 'at
That caught the mange back in the diggin's days,
A fancy vest that called fer loud 'oorays.

But loud 'oorays don't 'arf ixpress my rage
When Danny comes upholstered fer the jig.
I've seen it on the stage,
Rat comic rig;
But never at a country dance before
'Ave I seen sich crook duds as Danny wore.

'You want to crool my scheme,' I sez, 'with rags
Like that? This ain't no fancy dress affair.
Wot sort uv tile an' bags
Is them to wear?
But 'e don't tumble; )e's as pleased as pie.
'By gum,' 'e sez, 'this ort to catch 'er eye.'

'You posin' fer a comic film, or wot?'
I arsts 'im -' with noorotic togs like those!
Jazz clobber! Ain't you got
No decent clo'es?'
But 'e's too tickled with 'imself to 'eed.
'This orter catch 'er eye,' 'e sez, 'this tweed.'

It caught 'er eye, all right, an' many more.
They starts to come before the daylight fades;
An', fer a hour before
The crowd parades,
Ole Danny 'eld the centre uv the stage,
While I stood orf an' chewed me silent rage.

That's 'ow it alwiz is: I try to show
'Ow I can use me bean in deep-laid lurks;
An' then some fool must go
An' bust the works.
'Ere, I 'ave planned a coop in slap-up-style,
An' Danny spikes me guns with gran'pa's tile.

Rose never seemed so free frum ugly dreams,

[...] Read more

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Danny

(jody moreing)
Here in the dark
Silence is much too hard to bear
Dontt know where to start
Im hurtin everywhere
If we dont stop now
Were gonna lose
We should try somehow
caue its too easy to bruise
When you take your mark
Danny with your aim
Danny for my heart
Its only pain
What does it prove
Again and again
Danny nobody wins
If its your pride
Promise you wont let it keep us apart
Deep down inside
We can make a new start
If we dont look back
On the price we pay
Well thats all I ask
cause well never make it this way
When you take your mark
Danny with your aim
Danny for my heart
Its only pain
What does it prove
Again and again
Danny nobody wins

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The Shade Of Theseus - Ancient Greek Tradition

Know ye not when our dead
From sleep to battle sprung?
-When the Persian charger's tread
On their cowering greensward rung!
When the trampling march of foes
Had crush'd our vines and flowers,
When jewell'd crests arose
Through the holy laurel-bowers,

When banners caught the breeze,
When helms in sunlight shone,
When masts were on the seas,
And spears on Marathon.

There was one, a leader crown'd,
And arm'd for Greece that day;
But the falchions made no sound
On his gleaming war-array.
In the battle's front he stood,
With his tall and shadowy crest;
But the arrows drew no blood
Though their path was through his breast.

When banners caught the breeze,
When helms in sunlight shone,
When masts were on the seas,
And spears on Marathon.

His sword was seen to flash
Where the boldest deeds were done;
But it smote without a clash;
The stroke was heard by none!
His voice was not of those
That swell'd the rolling blast,
And his steps fell hush'd like snows-
'Twas the Shade of Theseus pass'd!

When banners caught the breeze,
When helms in sunlight shone,
When masts were on the seas,
And spears on Marathon.

Far sweeping through the foe,
With a fiery charge he bore;
And the Mede left many a bow
On the sounding ocean-shore.
And the foaming waves grew red,
And the sails were crowded fast,
When the sons of Asia fled,
As the Shade of Theseus pass'd!

[...] Read more

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Danny Boy

(Traditionallyrics by Fred E. Weatherly)
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come you back when summer's in the meadow
Or all the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
But when you come, when all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
Then if you bend and tell me that you love me
I'll sleep in peace until you come to me
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or all the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

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Teenage Pregnancy

Giving birth at a tender age was not my intention,
How did this happen to me is still a confusion.
'Pregnant', me ha! never!
But his charming looks and boy was he clever.
The naive girl that I was, believed his lies and how he loved me so much,
I could not resist his charm but he convinced me wit his soothing and caressing touch.

The first time I saw Danny, he looked so handsome, strong and fun,
But coming to the end he turned out to be a real bum.
He wooed me with words and won me over,
I was shocked we would actually exchange our numbers.
When he first called, I could not believe it is really Danny.
We talked and talked for more than three hours,
Days and weeks had past; just before you know it we became closer.

Danny called me during the midday and told me to come home by him to lime and to have a bit of one on one time together.
I agreed to his idea but what did i know?
I thought all the girlfriends were doing it.

As soon as I entered his house, he started kissing me everywhere and all about.
He told me to relax and do not be afraid,
I pleaded with him to stop that I was not ready for that kind of thing.
Danny said, 'girl why are you so uptight? '
But i could not care, I screamed with all might.
Stop! Please! Stop!
He gave me a slap and told me to shut up.
I was humiliated, embarrassed and afraid.
And no one came to my aid.

When he was done he sent me home,
I called 999 on my telephone.
We, my parents took him to court and won the case.
I thought my sorrows had gone,
But little did I know my troubles had just begun.
Danny is gone in the wind but where does that leave me?
A baby and I am only fifteen.

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Enniskillen

Oh my heart beat high with joy elate,
When Danny rode in the Hunters’ Plate
On Enniskillen, the raking grey-
A mighty jumper, with power to stay!
Velvet muzzled, with eye of fire,
Clean-legged, slant –shouldered, and tough as wire,
Oh, the joy that can fill a colleen’s breast,
When her man and horse are dong their best!
The summer skies were without a cloud
O’er the heads of the frantic, cheering crowd,
As he led the field right into the straight,
And his eyes met mine, at the five-barred gate.
Then they thundered by, like a roaring flood,
And oh, good luck to the Irish blood!
The Irish blood that in horse or man
Has never ‘caved in’ since the world began.
He took the last leap, like a bird in the air,
Clearing the hurdle, straight and fair,
And Enniskillen won!

We’d been married for one long blissful year
Of hope and struggle, of joy and fear;
Our hearts were young, and our hopes were high,
And the star of love shone bright in our sky.
And I felt like a queen as I hushed to rest
The little bright head that lay on my breast;
But the air was stifling close and strange
With a scent of smoke from the burning range,
And I prayed for Danny, riding away
On a cattle hunt, on the gallant grey—
The smoke came down like a cloud of night,
And ranges and trees were blotted from sight,
When Enniskillen came galloping home,
His grey coat mottled and flecked with foam,
And Danny’s face was rigid and white,
“Come Sweetheart, we ride for our lives to-night;
Wrap this cloak around you, hold Baby fast,
And pray, till the danger be overpassed,
For the wind has arisen with whirling force,
And our lives depend on the dear, grey horse.

And on God’s good mercy.” – A streak of light,
Enniskillen went racing into the night
The dim stars peered from a reeling sky,
And wild bush creatures came rushing by;
As crash on crash the timber fell,
And the burning wind was a blast of hell.
But Danny held me with steady arm,
And the Babe, between us, slept safe from harm.

[...] Read more

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Our Brilliant Public School Students

Listen up, clowns!
...er, a... students.

Last week,
It was brought to my attention...
By many of your parents,
That my assessment of your reading abilities...
Were,
For the most part...
Rather harsh and vindictive.

I have invited your science teacher,
Mister Robin Bobbin...

**LOL**

I will have none of this!
Show some respect.

As I was saying...
I invited Mister Bobbin in this morning,
To evaluate, listen and judge for himself...
Your 'essays'.
Based upon delivery, elocution and style of presentation.

First...
We will have Amber Helms,
Reading from her composition...
'Your Death Is Not A True Love Commitment'
Miss Helms?

'Yeah?
What? '

Read your composition.

'You don't haveta get nasty! '

READ! ...please. Your...'essay'.

'That's more like it.
I don't wanna have to go 'off' up in here!

Your Death Is Not A True Love Commitment,
By Amber Helms...that's me!

When I sees you.
You be in my heart.
Like a light bulb that goes on and dims...
When we get 'busy' and it is dark.

[...] Read more

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Gotham - Book I

Far off (no matter whether east or west,
A real country, or one made in jest,
Nor yet by modern Mandevilles disgraced,
Nor by map-jobbers wretchedly misplaced)
There lies an island, neither great nor small,
Which, for distinction sake, I Gotham call.
The man who finds an unknown country out,
By giving it a name, acquires, no doubt,
A Gospel title, though the people there
The pious Christian thinks not worth his care
Bar this pretence, and into air is hurl'd
The claim of Europe to the Western world.
Cast by a tempest on the savage coast,
Some roving buccaneer set up a post;
A beam, in proper form transversely laid,
Of his Redeemer's cross the figure made--
Of that Redeemer, with whose laws his life,
From first to last, had been one scene of strife;
His royal master's name thereon engraved,
Without more process the whole race enslaved,
Cut off that charter they from Nature drew,
And made them slaves to men they never knew.
Search ancient histories, consult records,
Under this title the most Christian lords
Hold (thanks to conscience) more than half the ball;
O'erthrow this title, they have none at all;
For never yet might any monarch dare,
Who lived to Truth, and breathed a Christian air,
Pretend that Christ, (who came, we all agree,
To bless his people, and to set them free)
To make a convert, ever one law gave
By which converters made him first a slave.
Spite of the glosses of a canting priest,
Who talks of charity, but means a feast;
Who recommends it (whilst he seems to feel
The holy glowings of a real zeal)
To all his hearers as a deed of worth,
To give them heaven whom they have robb'd of earth;
Never shall one, one truly honest man,
Who, bless'd with Liberty, reveres her plan,
Allow one moment that a savage sire
Could from his wretched race, for childish hire,
By a wild grant, their all, their freedom pass,
And sell his country for a bit of glass.
Or grant this barbarous right, let Spain and France,
In slavery bred, as purchasers advance;
Let them, whilst Conscience is at distance hurl'd,
With some gay bauble buy a golden world:
An Englishman, in charter'd freedom born,
Shall spurn the slavish merchandise, shall scorn

[...] Read more

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Dr. Seuss' The Lorax [The Lorax and the Animals Surprise the Once-ler at His House]

Cast: Danny DeVito (voice), Ed Helms (voice)

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Dr. Seuss' The Lorax [The Lorax Explains the Card Game to the Once-ler]

Cast: Danny DeVito (voice), Ed Helms (voice)

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A Man Of A Thousand Faces

(music: marillion lyrics: john helmer)
Im the man of a thousand faces
A little piece of me in every part I take
I hold the tape for a thousand races
A different point of view in every speech I make
Cut me a piece of my divided soul
Cry me a river, call it rock and roll
Speak to a leader with the voice of command
And when I talk to God I know hell understand
I speak to machines with the voice of humanity
Ill speak to the wise with the voice of insanity
Im the man of a thousand faces
A little piece of me in every part I take
I hold the tape for a thousand races
A different point of view in every speech I make
Cut me a piece of my divided soul
Cry me a river, call it rock and roll
Give me an attitude and watch me make it lie
Pass me a microphone
I need to testify
Well I speak to machines with the voice of humanity
Speak to the wise with the voice of insanity
Speak to the present in the past and future tense
Speak to a slave with the voice of obedience
Im the man of a thousand ages
You see my face in the stones of the parthenon
You hear my song in the babble of babylon
Im the man of a thousand riches
Be my guest at the feast of satyricon
You spend the money that my logos printed on
Well Ill speak to machines with the voice of humanity
Speak to the wise with the voice of insanity
Speak to the present in the past and future tense
Speak to a slave with the voice of obedience
I stole a fire but it burned up much too soon
I took a leap and I landed on the moon
Look at my life and it looks like cnn
You see something once yknow its gonna come around again
Well Ill speak to machines with the voice of humanity
Speak to the wise with the voice of insanity
Speak to a woman with the fatal charm of a snake
Forgive like a giver and account for all I take
Yes, I speak to machines with the voice of humanity
Speak to the wise with the voice of insanity
Speak like a leader with the voice of power and command
And when I talk to God I know hell understand
Cause Im the man of a thousand faces
Yes Im the man of a thousand faces
I stole a fire but it burned up too much too soon
I took a leap and I landed on the moon..

[...] Read more

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Dr. Seuss' The Lorax

Cast: Zac Efron, Danny DeVito, Ed Helms, Taylor Swift, Betty White, Rob Riggle

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Dr. Seuss' The Lorax [trailer 2]

Cast: Zac Efron, Danny DeVito, Ed Helms, Taylor Swift, Betty White, Rob Riggle

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Mary's In India

Danny is lonely
Cause Mary's in India now
She said she'd call but that was three weeks ago
She left all her things well, her books and her letters from him
But as the sun rises on Mary, it sets on him
And just dance, and just drink
And just see the things I'll probably never get a chance to see
Danny's not eating, he's drinking and sleeping in
I saw him last night at a party, he's definitely thin
He says he's happy, looked pretty good
But I think
That as the sun rises on Mary, it sets on him
And just dance, and just drink
And just see the things I'll probably never get a chance to see
Danny came over last night and I cooked for him
He talked about you Mary and how much we loved you still
He told me he's packed up your books and your letters and things
But as the sun sets on Mary, it's rising on him
And we danced, and we drank
And I've seen some things you probably never got a chance to see
Don't worry, Mary
Cause I'm taking care of Danny
And he's taking care of me

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The Old Days - And The New

‘Mid wattle scents and sounds of Spring,
The old man, dreaming in his chair,
Is back where skylarks soar and sing
In sunshine, o’er the hills of Clare.
And since all Irishmen have been,
True lovers, since the world began,
A flush still tints his withered cheek
At thoughts of Bessie Quinlevan.

‘Ah Danny, lad, she was the girl,
So fine and straight in all her ways,
The price of every dance and fair,
There’s no such women nowadays!”
Young Danny, plaiting stockwhip thongs,
Smiles o’er his grandsire’s lock of grey,
Rememb’ring with a lovers pride,
The wild-rise grace of Betty Shea.

The old man in his dreams pursues,
Through hurling fields the flying ball,
Where his swift stroke was keen and strong,
And his the fleetest foot of all.
While Danny whistling as he goes,
Thinks of the latest football fray,
Leading the victors down the field,
Beneath the smile of Betty Shea.

Sweet Bessie Quinleven is gone,
In Clare churchyard her body lies,
Her gentle soul has blossomed long
Amid the flowers of Paradise.
But through the sweetness of the Spring,
By winding paths with wattle gay,
Radiant with youth and happy love,
Young Danny rides with Betty Shea.

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