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One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

quote by James Thurber
Added by Dan Costinaş
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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Dirty Martini

Two in the morning there's a drink in my hand
(Dirt, dirt, dirty Martini)
Nothing moving the place but sweat
I heard a rumour 'bout a Cajun band
(Dirt, dirt, dirty Martini)
The bartender says it's early yet
Wait the bartender says it's early yet
Too many olives in too much gin
Steppin' out in the City of Sin
Too much dirty rice and too many beans
Gettin' down and dirty down in New Orleans
Gettin' down and dirty down in New Orleans
Have another, i believe i will
(Dirt, dirt, dirty Martini)
And you can stir it with a dirty spoon
There's a perscription i've gotta fill
(Dirt, dirt, dirty Martini)
And the Doctor's gonna be here soon
Jimmy says the Doctor's gonna be here soon
Too many olives in too much gin
Steppin' out in the City of Sin
Too much dirty rice and too many beans
Gettin' down and dirty down in New Orleans
Gettin' down and dirty down in New Orleans

song performed by Joe Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Mya's Martini

Martini the little shitsu was cute as can be,
Wagging his tail so carefree.
by the ocean with good friend Suzy.
Now he was very aware,
for when he got scared,
he hid under Mya’s desk
and there he would rest,
his head on Mya’s small feet,
then he’ld look up for a treat.
“Now why did you name him Martini? ”
I asked Mya quizzically one day.
Then Mya turned her head to say,
“Well, this is the story Sue Chevalier,
“Martini was named after the club
where people like to dance,
I met my husband Ron
there by circumstance.”
Now all 3 of them live together by the sea,
these are my sweet memories of
the Shitsu dog named Martini.
Written by Christina Sunrise on Feb.7,2011

poem by Christina Sunrise
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Suicide

Martini on the rocks
Spilled over the tabletop
Wetting the Oakwood
Like a chemical spillage
Another stunned moment
The vacant chairs
Wondered, why on earth
The spill ever took place
No one has attended to the beverage
Since the long leftover
If someone had needed someone
To feel lively, then the Martini
Shouldn't have spilled out
And abandoned without an enthusiast
Damage has been done indiscriminately
Nothing was perfect
When nothing went wrong
The Martini was just another victim
Of circumstances
Ironically, the other patrons
Were too high to notice
The mishaps
Two hours later
A headline ripped apart the nation
A young body of a woman
Was cut into two, under the train
With a note miraculously attached
‘Martini, my love needs a u-turn ‘

poem by Sulaiman Mohd Yusof
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A Dog Named Martini

Martini the little shitsu was cute as can be,

Wagging his tail so carefree.

by the ocean with good friend Suzy.

Now he was very aware,

for when he got scared,

he hid under Mya's desk

and there he would rest,

his head on Mya's small feet,

then he'ld look up for a treat.

"Now why did you name him Martini? "

I asked Mya quizzically one day.

Then Mya turned her head to say,

"Well, this is the story Sue Chevalier,

"Martini was named after the club

where people like to dance,

I met my husband Ron

there by circumstance."

Now all 3 of them live together by the sea,

these are my sweet memories of

the Shitsu dog named Martini.

Written by Suzae Chevalier on Feb.7,2011

poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Mya's Martini

Martini the little shitsu was cute as can be,

Wagging his tail so carefree.

by the ocean with good friend Suzy.

Now he was very aware,

for when he got scared,

he hid under Mya’s desk

and there he would rest,

his head on Mya’s small feet,

then he’ld look up for a treat.

“Now why did you name him Martini? ”

I asked Mya quizzically one day.

Then Mya turned her head to say,

“Well, this is the story Sue Chevalier,

“Martini was named after the club

where people like to dance,

I met my husband Ron

there by circumstance.”

Now all 3 of them live together by the sea,

these are my sweet memories of

the Shitsu dog named Martini.

Written by Christina Sunrise on Feb.7,2011

poem by Suzae Chevalier
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A Drink With Something In It

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth--
I think that perhaps it's the gin.

poem by Ogden Nash
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The Ghost In The Martini

Over the rim of the glass
Containing a good martini with a twist
I eye her bosom and consider a pass,
Certain we’d not be missed

In the general hubbub.
Her lips, which I forgot to say, are superb,
Never stop babbling once (Aye, there’s the ru
But who would want to curb

Such delicious, artful flattery?
It seems she adores my work, the distinguished grey
Of my hair. I muse on the salt and battery
Of the sexual clinch, and say

Something terse and gruff
About the marked disparity in our ages.
She looks like twenty-three, though eager enough.
As for the famous wages

Of sin, she can’t have attained
Even to union scale, though you never can tell.
Her waist is slender and suggestively chained,
And things are going well.

The martini does its job,
God bless it, seeping down to the dark old id.
(“Is there no cradle, Sir, you would not rob?”
Says ego, but the lid

Is off. The word is Strike
While the iron’s hot.) And now, ingenuous and gay,
She is asking me about what I was like
At twenty. (Twenty, eh?)

You wouldn’t have liked me then,
I answer, looking carefully into her eyes.
I was shy, withdrawn, awkward, one of those men
That girls seemed to despise,

Moody and self-obsessed,
Unhappy, defiant, with guilty dreams galore,
Full of ill-natured pride, an unconfessed
Snob and a thorough bore.

Her smile is meant to convey
How changed or modest I am, I can’t tell which,
When I suddenly hear someone close to me say,
“You lousy son-of-a-bitch!”

[...] Read more

poem by Anthony Evan Hecht
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The Bikini

Dressed in her bikini,
sipping a martini
she drew the looks of every roving eye.
A white sandy spot,
the sun so hot
her skin was burned by and by.
Stripped of her bikini,
still sipping a martini
she saw her mirrored image in the night.
Two strips of white appeared,
her skin had been seared.
Her natural bikini was quite the sight.

poem by Edwina Reizer
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Workin At The Car Wash Blues

Well, I had just got out from the county prison
Doin ninety days for non-support
Tried to find me an executive position
But no matter how smooth I talked
They wouldnt listen to the fact that I was a genius
The man say, we got all that we can use.
Now igot them steadily depressin, low down mind messin
Working at the car wash blues
Well, I should be sittin in an air conditioned office in a swivel chair
Talkin some trash to the secretaries
Sayin, here, now mama, come on over here.
Instead, Im stuck here rubbin these fenders with a rag
And walkin home in soggy old shoes
With them steadily depressin, low down mind messin
Workin at the car wash blues
You know a man of my ability
He should be smokin on a big cigar
But till I get myself straight I guess Ill just have to wait
In my rubber suit a-rubbin these cars
Well, all I can do is a shake my head
You might not believe that its true
For workin at this end of niagara falls
Is an undiscovered howard hughes
So baby, dont expect to see me
With no double martini in any high-brow society news
Cause I got them steadily depressin, low down mind messin
Workin at the car wash blues
So baby, dont expect to see me
With no double martini in any high-brow society news
Cause I got them steadily depressin, low down mind messin
Workin at the car wash blues
Yeah I got them steadily depressin, low down mind messin
Workin at the car wash blues

song performed by Jim Croce
Added by Lucian Velea
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Happy birthday 007

So your Fifty years old now Mr Bond
your milestone gives us all a thrill
it's amazing you've lived this long
but then again you have a licence to kill.
To you The World is Not Enough
your attitude is Live and Let Die
but you've drank Martini's in the Casino Royale
and for the ladies you've had a GoldenEye.
You've tangled with lots of top villains
like Scaramanga who wasn't very nice
had a fight with the massive Jaws
and upset Blofeld in You Only Live Twice.
Death has escaped you by a mere second
and you knew you could Die Another Day
but like your Martini's your never stirred
and you've seduced beautiful women along the way.
So your still our top British spy 007
and On Her Majesty's Secret Service we say well done
so it's From Russia with love
and happy birthday to the Man with The Golden Gun!

James Bond celebrates fifty years in films this year
so I've incorporated some of his movie titles in this poem.

poem by Kevin Halls
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Don't Say Oops Or Stay Mute

Because you don't sit drinking vodka,
With a twist of lemon peel.
Or a dry martini...
Doesn't mean to me,
You are,
Less real.

I aint into impressions.
Or introductions that are faked.
I want to know how you feel,
About the weather.
Tell me what that's gonna take?

I want to know how you feel,
About the weather.
Tell me what that's gonna take?

Don't say oops!
Or stay mute.
I wish to hear,
What you're going through.

Don't substitute truth for duping.
To excuse,
What you think I knew!

I want to know more about you.
I like what I see and the attitude.

Don't say oops!
Or stay mute.
I wish to hear,
What you're going through.

Because you don't sit drinking vodka,
With a twist of lemon peel.
Or a dry martini...
Doesn't mean to me,
You are,
Less real.

I aint into impressions.
Or introductions that are faked.
I want to know how you feel,
About the weather.
Tell me what that's gonna take?

I want to know how you feel,
About the weather.
Tell me what that's gonna take?

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A raise is like a martini it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily.

quote by Dan Seligman
Added by Lucian Velea
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Colombiana

Cast: Amandla Stenberg, Zoe Saldana, Callum Blue, Cliff Curtis, Michael Vartan, Lennie James, Max Martini, Graham McTavish, Cynthia Addai-Robinson

trailer for Colombiana, directed by Olivier Megaton (2011)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Captain Phillips

Cast: Tom Hanks, Catherine Keener, Christopher Stadulis, Max Martini, John Magaro, Chris Mulkey, Yul Vazquez, Michael Chernus, Corey Johnson, David Warshofsky

trailer for Captain Phillips, directed by Paul Greengrass, screenplay, inspired by Richard Phillips (2013)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Pacific Rim [Elbow Rocket]

Cast: Max Martini, Robert Kazinsky

clip from Pacific Rim, directed by Guillermo del Toro (2013)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Captain Phillips [trailer 2]

Cast: Tom Hanks, Catherine Keener, Christopher Stadulis, Max Martini, John Magaro, Chris Mulkey, Yul Vazquez, Michael Chernus, Corey Johnson, David Warshofsky

trailer for Captain Phillips, directed by Paul Greengrass, screenplay, inspired by Richard Phillips (2013)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Members Only

Uncle Larry's hooked on ice again
He seems to be stuck in the 80's
He wears his members only jacket
Cause he thinks it turns on all the ladies

And all the white folks shake their asses
Looking for the two and four
I'll have mine in martini glasses
Cause I can't take it anymore

These are the days of empty kitchens
The rise and fall of Mary Ellen's hairdo
I think she's found a new religion
Studying the Kabalah in her J Crew

And all the rich kids shake their asses
Looking for the two and four
Well I'll have mine with Blackstrap molasses
Cause I can't taste it anymore
No I can't taste it anymore

My friend Greg says it's all good
As the eastern seaboard's blown away
Now everything is going half-price
So look at all the money we saved

And all the politicians shake their asses
Looking for the backdoor
I'll just be hanging out with the lasses
Cause they don't like the boys no more
No and I can't take it anymore

song performed by Sheryl Crow from Globe Sessions
Added by Lucian Velea
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I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl's leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can't even play Chopsticks. But I've got a nice piano at my house!

quote by George Clooney
Added by Lucian Velea
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When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'. They can't grasp that I'm old enough to be married.

quote by Megan Fox
Added by Lucian Velea
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