Citatepedia^®.com

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

quote by Dolly Parton
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

So So Dumb

Uh
Oh yeah
Alright (alright)
Alright alright
Dumb dumb dumb
So so dumb so dumb
Dumb dumb dumb
So so dumb so dumb
Everytime I see ya
Simple bitch pleads
Come here and talk to me
Wanna tell ya (huh)
Tell ya whats been on my mind
The wifes a friend of mine
Why do you need some
Georgia pine in your life
Do you love everything
About the woman you with
Why you tryin to get with t
I thought that you had
Responsibility
See your wife is beautiful (huh)
The kid is two years old (hey)
She folds all your clothes
Whatcha runnin around for
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
I cant believe
Youre knockin
Youre knockin at my door
I should get my gun
And gun you to the floor
But instead
I think Ill invite you in
Ima call your wife boy
And let her know where youve been
Cuz she thinks that
Youre so faithful
Boy youre so dumb (dumb)
Aint goin down like that no more
Guess whos knockin at the front door
Aint nobody you wanna see come in
You should appreciate your girl
Stop tryin to push it on me

[...] Read more

song performed by TLC
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

All the Jokes

All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad

So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told

But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old

But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told

Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air

poem by Derek Ouyang
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Dumb Blonde

Dont try to cry your way out of this
Dont try to lie or Ill catch you in it
Dont try to make me feel sorry for you
Just because Im blonde
Dont think Im dumb
Cause this dumb blonde aint nobodys fool
When you left you thought Id sit
An you thought Id wait
An you thought Id cry
You called me a dumb blonde
Ah, but somehow I lived through it
And you know if theres one thing this blonde has learned
Blondes have more fun
You flew too high up off the ground
Its stormy wheater an had to come back down
But Ive found new thread for my old spool
Just because Im blonde
Dont think Im dumb
Cause this dumb blonde aint nobodys fool
When you left you thought Id sit
An you thought Id wait
An you thought Id cry
You called me a dumb blonde
Ah, but somehow I lived through it
And you know if theres one thing this blonde has learned
Blondes have more fun
You flew too high up off the ground
Its stormy wheater an had to come back down
But Ive found new thread for my old spool
Just because Im blonde
Dont think Im dumb
Cause this dumb blonde aint nobodys fool

song performed by Dolly Parton
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Tired Of Being Blonde

(l. raspberry)
She left the credit cards under her goodbye note
all of these are yours, goodbye? and that was all she wrote
Keys to the porsche she dropped on the floor in the den
Left in the ? 0 dodge that he drove her in
She wasnt angry, she wasnt sad
She was just leaving a life that a lot of women wish they had
Tired of being blonde
Tired of running around with the usual guys and gals
Tired of being blonde
Tired of living up to all he expected
Tired of being blonde
Tired of living a life that had only been planned by one
Tired of being blonde
Tired of letting her dreams go neglected
She used to love to know she rounded out his world
She used to love to be all he ever loved in a girl
He liked to buy her clothes that made her sexy and cute
Guess she decided shed been too long away from her roots
She wasnt crazy, she wasnt mad
She just knew in her heart they had drained her of all that she had
Tired of being blonde
Tired of all the platinum frustration
Tired of being blonde
Tired of looking like a cutie on the cover of a magazine
Tired of being blonde
Tired of chasing all the latest sensations
She wasnt angry, no, no, she wasnt sad
She was just leaving a life that a lot of women wish they had
She was tired of being blonde
Tired of living a life that had only been planned by one
Tired of being blonde
Tired of coping with the desperation
Tired of being blonde
Tired of fighting back the feeling inside that told her to run
Tired of being blonde
Tired of hiding her own inclinations

song performed by Carly Simon
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Dumb

Above the feeling
This is revealing
Boy i didnt know you cared
Mustve been up on the weekend
In the club freakin
Boy i could see you stare
You were lookin right at me
Lookin right back
We knew there was something there
And i know you knew that if we did do this
It would be an affair
Cos my mans at home
Lookin at the finger his ring goes on
He got trust in me
How'm i gonna live with myself if i cheat
Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb don't want
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now, gotta go
Gotta get home
Cos my baby's boy's on his own
Better be Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb don't want
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now
I gots ta get home,
My baby boy's on his own,
Up on the dancefloor
Then ya go ask for a night in with me
But ya know that aint gon' happen
I wont get trapped in
This, see, it just aint me
And you can try, seduce me
But its no use, see
I'm in love with my baby
And I wont let you in
Mess up and move in
To do that I'd be crazy
Cos my mans at home
Lookin at the finger his ring goes on
He got trust in me
How'm I gonna live with myself if I cheat
Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb don't want
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now, gotta go
Gotta get home
Cos my baby's boy's on his own
Better be Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb don't want
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now
I gots ta get home,
My baby boy's on his own,

[...] Read more

song performed by 411
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Suicide Blonde

(a farriss & m hutchence)
Suicide blonde
Suicide blonde
Suicide blonde
Suicide blonde
Suicide blonde
Was the colour of her hair
Like a cheap distraction
For a new affair
She knew it would finish
Before it began
Something tells me you lost the plan
Chorus
You want to make her
Suicide blonde
Love devastation
Suicide blonde
You want to make her
Suicide blonde
Love devastation
Suicide blonde
She stripped to the beat
But her clothes stay on
White light everywhere
But you cant see a thing
Such a squeeze
A mad sad moment
Glory to you
Glory to you
Take me there
Take me there
Got some revelation
Put into your hands
Save you from your misery
Like rain across the land
Dont you see
The colour of deception
Turning your world around again
Chorus

song performed by INXS
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Dumb Stuff

A flop I did do!
I was a rookie when I hooked up,
To the dumb stuff.
I was a rookie when I hooked up,
To the dumb stuff.
I was a rookie when I hooked up,
To the dumb stuff.
With a giving as much of it up!

I let it done to overcome,
All the dumb stuff.
I let it done to overcome,
All the dumb stuff.
I let it done to overcome,
All the dumb stuff.
With a giving as much of it up!

A flop I did do.
At times I hated when I found out,
It was dumb stuff.
At times I hated when I found out,
It was dumb stuff.
At times I hated when I found out,
It was dumb stuff.
With a giving as much of it up!

A flop I did do,
To help improve my movements.
Yes a flop I did do.
A flop I did do.

Oh yes a flop I did do.
To help improve my movements.
Yes a flop I did do.
A flop I did do.

I was a rookie when I hooked up,
To the dumb stuff.
I let it done to overcome,
All the dumb stuff.
At times I hated when I found out,
It was dumb stuff.
But that dumb stuff finally helped me wake up!

All the dumb stuff,
That I did I chose to give up!
All the dumb stuff,
That I did I chose to give up!
And it was dumb stuff...
That I did I chose to give up!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Friday's Child

(K.J.Garside C.Gray)
........my daughter,
take her from the water.......
I laid her down.......
For she drinks from the river,
I pray forgive her,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Girl a string of lovers,
Found dead beneath her,
They pulled her down,
For she drinks from the river,
I pray forgive her,
Don't let her drown,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
A prayer for the mind who's thread bare,
For those who dare to tread there,
Now the sun is gone,
Oh I pray for my daughter,
I pray support her,
Don't let her drown,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

song performed by Queen Adreena
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

White On Blonde

A perfect face comes callin
A perfect hand reaches out
Her perfect face in the morning
December guilt feels the same
She needs to find the pace
Cause she never looked so good when she was down
Shes blonde on white
White on blonde
Her perfections are now gone
Reflections everywhere
If you gaze for too long
It will fade and then its gone
Reflections everywhere
Imagine naked looks callin
Walking barefoot in the rain
Imagine freezing cold weather
December guilt feels the same
She needs to find the pace
Cause she never looked so good when she was down
Shes blonde on white
White on blonde
Her perfections are now gone
Reflections everywhere
If you gaze for too long
It will fade and then its gone
Ref elections everywhere
A perfect face comes callin
A perfect hand reaches out
She needs to find the pace
Cause she never looked so good when she was down
Shes blonde on white
White on blonde
Her perfections are now gone
Reflections everywhere
If you gaze for too long
It will fade and then its gone
Ref elections everywhere
Shes blonde on white
White on blonde
Her perfections are now gone
Reflections everywhere
If you gaze for too long
It will fade and then its gone
Ref elections everywhere

song performed by Texas
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Whos The Blonde Stranger

Whos the blonde stranger
By: jimmy buffett, michael utley, will jennings, josh leo
1984
Nothin like this way out in west texas
Galveston bay is a whole other world
My wifes in our room gettin over her sunburn
How would louis lamour get me next to that girl
She tells me her tan is the same all over
She asks me to dance and says keep your boots on
She never met a number one cowboy
We rolled in the sand and drank rum until dawn
Chorus:
Whos the blonde stranger, who entered my life
Makin me over, in the moonlight
This side of texas, is all new to me
Whos the blonde stranger, who lives by the sea
Stayed up all night and for me thats the first time
Sneak in the room just as cool as I can
Pull back the sheets and the bed is all empty
Except for a note left from some guy named dan
My head got all light and the room started spinning
I stepped outside just to get some fresh air
Out on a wave was my own darlin lola
And some pretty boy with bleach in his hair
Chorus:
Whos the blonde stranger, out there with my wife
What were they doin, in the moonlight
This side of texas, is all new to me
Who are these strangers, who live by the sea
Back on the ranch and everythings normal
Beach blanket bingo comes on the tv
We talk in our sleep and then the next morning
I ask her whos dan and she says whos marie?
Chorus:
Whos the blonde stranger, who entered my life
Makin me over, in the moonlight
This side of texas, is all new to me
Whos the blonde stranger, lives by the sea
Chorus:
Whos the blonde stranger, who entered my life
Makin me over, in the moonlight
This side of texas, is all new to me
Who are these strangers, who live by the sea

song performed by Jimmy Buffett
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Here Comes Dumb George

Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Everybody together on the chorus.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george, boogaloo!
Boogaloo baby.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.
Here come dumb george.

song performed by Van Morrison
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Young, Dumb & Ugly

We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
Most of our brain cells are gone
We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
We got a reputation 'round these parts
We only leave a ten percent tip
Sometimes we don't return our shoping carts
Stay out of our way and don't you give us no lip
'cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
We wear black leather in the hottest weather
You can't imagine the smell
We got three-day stubble, our names spell trouble
T-r-u-b-e-l
Reaisin' hell, bendin' the rules just a little
We're livin' only for thrills
We squeeze our tooothpaste tubes from the middle
And wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills
'cause we're young... dumb and ugly
You better believe it
We're young... young, dumb and ugly
I'll tell you again
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
We're comin' to your town
Yeah, we're young... young, dumb and ugly
We're wild, reckless men, we're on a rampage again
We drive with just one hand on the wheel
Danger's in our soul, we're goin' out of control
Swimmin' right after a big heavy meal
We're there wherever trouble's starting
We're rebels without a clue
We drink milk right from the carton
And keep our library books 'till they're way overdue
'cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
You can't stop us
We're young... we're so young, dumb and ugly
Young, dumb & ugly
We're young... we're young, dumb and ugly
So ugly
Young... dumb... & ugly

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Young, Dumb Ugly

Were dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
Most of our brain cells are gone
We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
We got a reputation round these parts
We only leave a ten percent tip
Sometimes we dont return our shoping carts
Stay out of our way and dont you give us no lip
cause were young... dumb and ugly
Thats what we are
Were so young... young, dumb and ugly
We wear black leather in the hottest weather
You cant imagine the smell
We got three-day stubble, our names spell trouble
T-r-u-b-e-l
Reaisin hell, bendin the rules just a little
Were livin only for thrills
We squeeze our tooothpaste tubes from the middle
And wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills
cause were young... dumb and ugly
You better believe it
Were young... young, dumb and ugly
Ill tell you again
Were so young... young, dumb and ugly
Were comin to your town
Yeah, were young... young, dumb and ugly
Were wild, reckless men, were on a rampage again
We drive with just one hand on the wheel
Dangers in our soul, were goin out of control
Swimmin right after a big heavy meal
Were there wherever troubles starting
Were rebels without a clue
We drink milk right from the carton
And keep our library books till theyre way overdue
cause were young... dumb and ugly
Thats what we are
Were so young... young, dumb and ugly
You cant stop us
Were young... were so young, dumb and ugly
Young, dumb & ugly
Were young... were young, dumb and ugly
So ugly
Young... dumb... & ugly

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Looking for Love

We married when we were just nineteen,
I thought her a perfect catch,
We'd fallen in love on the day she came
To watch, at a football match,
I'd fallen badly, injured my leg
And was subbed in the second half,
She came to the dressing room, and tied
My leg with her silken scarf.

She said that she was a trainee nurse
And practice was better than none,
I told her I was a graduate,
I'd be limping from now on,
We took a seat at a coffee shop
And stayed for the afternoon,
As I gazed at her dark brown eyes and hair,
And she smiled at me in the gloom.

Our romance whirled us on at a pace
That was breathless, with content,
Whatever our fate would hold for us
We were sure that it was meant,
I ceased to notice the other girls,
And she looked only at me,
We tied the knot on a fresh Spring morn
As we stood by a willow tree.

We made our home in a city flat
Close to her hospital,
I studied and crammed for my Ph.D.
Not counting the cost at all,
But soon we were way behind in the rent
And moved on out to the burbs,
Life was more difficult than we'd thought,
We grew our own veggies, and herbs.

She worked three shifts, and came home tired,
And I would study all night,
Then one came in as the other went out,
I felt that it wasn't right,
We argued then, and we made it up,
Then we argued a little more,
She said she'd go to her parents then,
But I just barred the door.

We'll just have to work it out, ' I said,
'We can't go giving up now,
I know that I love you, Sylvia,
And things will improve, somehow.'
'I love you too, but it's such a mess, '

[...] Read more

poem by David Lewis Paget
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Big Dumb Guy

So many tech-heads
Recent invasion
I stretch out my long legs
And I kick away the mouse pad, baby
Amazon, eBay, Oracle, he say
He promise a freebee
But he's such a pokey little guy
Wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumping out of the past
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
Cyberman lights up
But mostly he floppy
Computer man crashes
He's so humpty dumpty, baby
Now he tries this experiment
Though he knows it's so low-tech
He tries patting his forehead
While he's rub, rub, rubbing my stomach, baby
But he can't do it, can he?
No, no he can't do that at all
But wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumbing out of the past
Sure enough, that big dumb guy
Is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
Big papa bear
Maybe you can remember
It wasn't that long ago
When you dialed a number
You got a living, breathing human being
On the telephone
Don't want nothing to do
But just study the skin on your face
I want to look up at the sky
And watch the sunset
With someone like you
Wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumbing out of the past
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here, he's here
In fact he's brought his
big raccoon coat with him
And he doesn't even know it's
politically incorrect
That big dumb guy is here at last
I see him now walking torward me
Let's get it on with your big bad self
Get it on babe, Get it on babe

[...] Read more

song performed by Carly Simon
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Impossible To Tell

to Robert Hass and in memory of Elliot Gilbert

Slow dulcimer, gavotte and bow, in autumn,
Bashõ and his friends go out to view the moon;
In summer, gasoline rainbow in the gutter,

The secret courtesy that courses like ichor
Through the old form of the rude, full-scale joke,
Impossible to tell in writing. 'Bashõ'

He named himself, 'Banana Tree': banana
After the plant some grateful students gave him,
Maybe in appreciation of his guidance

Threading a long night through the rules and channels
Of their collaborative linking-poem
Scored in their teacher's heart: live, rigid, fluid

Like passages etched in a microscopic cicuit.
Elliot had in his memory so many jokes
They seemed to breed like microbes in a culture

Inside his brain, one so much making another
It was impossible to tell them all:
In the court-culture of jokes, a top banana.

Imagine a court of one: the queen a young mother,
Unhappy, alone all day with her firstborn child
And her new baby in a squalid apartment

Of too few rooms, a different race from her neighbors.
She tells the child she's going to kill herself.
She broods, she rages. Hoping to distract her,

The child cuts capers, he sings, he does imitations
Of different people in the building, he jokes,
He feels if he keeps her alive until the father

Gets home from work, they'll be okay till morning.
It's laughter versus the bedroom and the pills.
What is he in his efforts but a courtier?

Impossible to tell his whole delusion.
In the first months when I had moved back East
From California and had to leave a message

On Bob's machine, I used to make a habit
Of telling the tape a joke; and part-way through,
I would pretend that I forgot the punchline,

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Pinsky
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

The Cenci : A Tragedy In Five Acts

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

Count Francesco Cenci.
Giacomo, his Son.
Bernardo, his Son.
Cardinal Camillo.
Orsino, a Prelate.
Savella, the Pope's Legate.
Olimpio, Assassin.
Marzio, Assassin.
Andrea, Servant to Cenci.
Nobles, Judges, Guards, Servants.
Lucretia, Wife of Cenci, and Step-mother of his children.
Beatrice, his Daughter.

The Scene lies principally in Rome, but changes during the Fourth Act to Petrella, a castle among the Apulian Apennines.
Time. During the Pontificate of Clement VIII.

ACT I

Scene I.
-An Apartment in the Cenci Palace.
Enter Count Cenci, and Cardinal Camillo.

Camillo.
That matter of the murder is hushed up
If you consent to yield his Holiness
Your fief that lies beyond the Pincian gate.-
It needed all my interest in the conclave
To bend him to this point: he said that you
Bought perilous impunity with your gold;
That crimes like yours if once or twice compounded
Enriched the Church, and respited from hell
An erring soul which might repent and live:-
But that the glory and the interest
Of the high throne he fills, little consist
With making it a daily mart of guilt
As manifold and hideous as the deeds
Which you scarce hide from men's revolted eyes.

Cenci.
The third of my possessions-let it go!
Ay, I once heard the nephew of the Pope
Had sent his architect to view the ground,
Meaning to build a villa on my vines
The next time I compounded with his uncle:
I little thought he should outwit me so!

[...] Read more

poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

People Love To Intimidate

People love to intimidate,
Those they believe not strong.
And, people love to instigate,
A conflict that goes wrong.
Then...
Those people will pretend they don't know,
What is going on!
To then become offended,
By those who choose themselves to defend.

People love to intimidate,
Those they believe not strong.
And, people love to instigate,
A conflict that goes wrong.
Then...
Those same people will pretend,
They don't know what is going on!
To then become offended,
By the ones who choose themselves to defend.
And....
The fighting never ends,
No!

People will pretend they don't know,
What is going on!
To then become offended,
By those they thought were weakened
And....
The fighting will not cease.

People love to intimidate,
Those they believe not strong.
And, people love to instigate,
A conflict that goes wrong.
Then...
People will pretend they don't know,
What is going on!
To then become offended,
By those who choose themselves to defend.

People love to intimidate,
Those they believe not strong.
And...
People love to intimidate,
Even though they've been so wrong.
And...
People love to intimidate,
From night until the dawn.
And...
Then pretend with innocence,

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Dumb-Bells

DUMB-BELLS left, dumb-bells right,
Swing them hard, grip them tight!
Thirty fat men of the town
Must sweat their filthy paunches down.
Dripping sweat and pumping blood
They try to make themselves like God.

One and two, three and four,
Cleave the air and smite the floor!
Five and six, seven and eight,
Legs apart, shoulders straight!
Thirty fat men grunt and puff,
Thirty bellies plead, Enough!

Dumb-bells up, dumb-bells down,
Dumb-bells front, dumb-bells ground!
Thirty's God has just the girth
To pull the levers of the earth,
They made him sinewy and lean
And washed him glittering white and clean.

Dumb-bells in, dumb-bells out,
Count by fours and face about!
Put by dumb-bells for to-day,
Wash the stinking sweat away
And go out clean. But come again;
Worship's every night at ten.

poem by John Crowe Ransom
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Only When It Is Conducive

Am I offended by your limited comprehension?
Sometimes.
When thoughts I could have saved...
Bravely fought through your ignorance.

Am I offended by your pretense?
Only when it is conducive.
And I am aware of the excuses used,
By someone insecure.
And flaunting their own mental abuse.

Do I feel a need to free myself sometimes?
Yes!
Especially when I am smothered...
By others who are vacant.
Or just absent with no minds.

Am I offended by your limited comprehension?
Sometimes.
When thoughts I could have saved...
Bravely fought through your ignorance.

Am I offended by your pretense?
Only when it is conducive.
And I am aware of the excuses used,
By someone insecure.
And flaunting their own mental abuse.
However...
I am never that detached from free amusements.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!