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Burlesque [From Here to Up There]

Cast: Christina Aguilera, Cam Gigandet

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Confessio Amantis. Explicit Liber Primus

Incipit Liber Secundus

Inuidie culpa magis est attrita dolore,
Nam sua mens nullo tempore leta manet:
Quo gaudent alii, dolet ille, nec vnus amicus
Est, cui de puro comoda velle facit.
Proximitatis honor sua corda veretur, et omnis
Est sibi leticia sic aliena dolor.
Hoc etenim vicium quam sepe repugnat amanti,
Non sibi, set reliquis, dum fauet ipsa Venus.
Est amor ex proprio motu fantasticus, et que
Gaudia fert alius, credit obesse sibi.


Now after Pride the secounde
Ther is, which many a woful stounde
Towardes othre berth aboute
Withinne himself and noght withoute;
For in his thoght he brenneth evere,
Whan that he wot an other levere
Or more vertuous than he,
Which passeth him in his degre;
Therof he takth his maladie:
That vice is cleped hot Envie.
Forthi, my Sone, if it be so
Thou art or hast ben on of tho,
As forto speke in loves cas,
If evere yit thin herte was
Sek of an other mannes hele?
So god avance my querele,
Mi fader, ye, a thousend sithe:
Whanne I have sen an other blithe
Of love, and hadde a goodly chiere,
Ethna, which brenneth yer be yere,
Was thanne noght so hot as I
Of thilke Sor which prively
Min hertes thoght withinne brenneth.
The Schip which on the wawes renneth,
And is forstormed and forblowe,
Is noght more peined for a throwe
Than I am thanne, whanne I se
An other which that passeth me
In that fortune of loves yifte.
Bot, fader, this I telle in schrifte,
That is nowher bot in o place;
For who that lese or finde grace
In other stede, it mai noght grieve:
Bot this ye mai riht wel believe,
Toward mi ladi that I serve,
Thogh that I wiste forto sterve,

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Confessio Amantis. Explicit Liber Septimus

Incipit Liber Octavus

Que favet ad vicium vetus hec modo regula confert,
Nec novus e contra qui docet ordo placet.
Cecus amor dudum nondum sua lumina cepit,
Quo Venus impositum devia fallit iter.

------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------
The myhti god, which unbegunne
Stant of himself and hath begunne
Alle othre thinges at his wille,
The hevene him liste to fulfille
Of alle joie, where as he
Sit inthronized in his See,
And hath hise Angles him to serve,
Suche as him liketh to preserve,
So that thei mowe noght forsueie:
Bot Lucifer he putte aweie,
With al the route apostazied
Of hem that ben to him allied,
Whiche out of hevene into the helle
From Angles into fendes felle;
Wher that ther is no joie of lyht,
Bot more derk than eny nyht
The peine schal ben endeles;
And yit of fyres natheles
Ther is plente, bot thei ben blake,
Wherof no syhte mai be take.
Thus whan the thinges ben befalle,
That Luciferes court was falle
Wher dedly Pride hem hath conveied,
Anon forthwith it was pourveied
Thurgh him which alle thinges may;
He made Adam the sexte day
In Paradis, and to his make
Him liketh Eve also to make,
And bad hem cresce and multiplie.
For of the mannes Progenie,
Which of the womman schal be bore,
The nombre of Angles which was lore,
Whan thei out fro the blisse felle,
He thoghte to restore, and felle
In hevene thilke holy place
Which stod tho voide upon his grace.
Bot as it is wel wiste and knowe,
Adam and Eve bot a throwe,
So as it scholde of hem betyde,
In Paradis at thilke tyde
Ne duelten, and the cause why,
Write in the bok of Genesi,

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University Of Central Florida Volleyball

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The Assembly Of Ladies

In Septembre, at the falling of the leef,
The fressh sesoun was al-togider doon,
And of the corn was gadered in the sheef;
In a gardyn, about twayn after noon,
Ther were ladyes walking, as was her wone,
Foure in nombre, as to my mynd doth falle,
And I the fifte, the simplest of hem alle.


Of gentilwomen fayre ther were also,
Disporting hem, everiche after her gyse,
In crosse-aleys walking, by two and two,
And some alone, after her fantasyes.
Thus occupyed we were in dyvers wyse;
And yet, in trouthe, we were not al alone;
Ther were knightës and squyers many one.


'Wherof I served?' oon of hem asked me;
I sayde ayein, as it fel in my thought,
'To walke about the mase, in certayntè,
As a woman that [of] nothing rought.'
He asked me ayein—'whom that I sought,
And of my colour why I was so pale?'
'Forsothe,' quod I, 'and therby lyth a tale.'


'That must me wite,' quod he, 'and that anon;
Tel on, let see, and make no tarying.'
'Abyd,' quod I, 'ye been a hasty oon,
I let you wite it is no litel thing.
But, for bicause ye have a greet longing
In your desyr, this proces for to here,
I shal you tel the playn of this matere.—


It happed thus, that, in an after-noon,
My felawship and I, by oon assent,
Whan al our other besinesse was doon,
To passe our tyme, into this mase we went,
And toke our wayes, eche after our entent;
Some went inward, and wend they had gon out,
Some stode amid, and loked al about.


And, sooth to say, some were ful fer behind,
And right anon as ferforth as the best;
Other ther were, so mased in her mind,
Al wayes were good for hem, bothe eest and west.
Thus went they forth, and had but litel rest;

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Like A Virgin/Hollywood Medley

Britney Spears:
I made it through the wilderness.
Somehow I made it through. Didn't
Know how lost I was until I found
You. I was beat incomplete. I've
Been had. I was sad and blue but
You made me feel, yeah, you
Made me feel shiny and new.
Christina Aguilera:
Like a virgin, ooooh, touched for
The very first time. Like a virgin
With your heartbeat next to mine.
Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera:
Like a virgin, oooh, touched for
The very first time. Like a virgin
With your heartbreat next to mine.
Like a virgin. Ooooh, like a virgin.
Feels so good inside.
Madonna:
Everybody comes to Hollywood.
They wanna make it in the
Neighborhood. They like the
Smell of it in Hollywood. How
Could it hurt you when it looks
So good?
Madonna, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera:
Shine your light now. This time
It's got to be good. You'll get it
Right now, yeah, 'cause you're in
Hollywood.
Missy Elliott:
Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put
My thing down, flip it, and reverse
It. Its your fremme neppa venette.
It's your fremme neppa venette.
Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put
My thing down, flip it, and reverse
It. Its your fremme neppa venette.
It's your fremme neppa venette.
Madonna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Missy Elliott:
Shine your light now. This time
It's got to be good. You'll get it
Right now, yeah, 'cause you're in
Hollywood.
Madonna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Missy Elliott:
Shine your light now. This time
It's got to be good. You'll get it
Right now, yeah, 'cause you're in
Hollywood.
Madonna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Missy Elliott:

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The Vision Of Piers Plowman - Part 20

Thanne as I wente by the way, whan I was thus awaked,
Hevy chered I yede, and elenge in herte;
For I ne wiste wher to ete ne at what place,
And it neghed neigh the noon, and with Nede I mette,
That afrounted me foule and faitour me called.
'Coudestow noght excuse thee, as dide the kyng and othere -
That thow toke to thy bilyve, to clothes and to sustenaunce,
Was by techynge and by tellynge of Spiritus Temperancie,
And that thow nome na moore than nede thee taughte,
And nede ne hath no lawe, ne nevere shal falle in dette
For thre thynges he taketh his lif for to save? -
That is, mete whan men hym werneth, and he no moneye weldeth,
Ne wight noon wol ben his borugh, ne wed hath noon to legge;
And he ca[cch]e in that caas and come therto by sleighte,

He synneth noght, soothliche, that so wynneth his foode.
And though he come so to a clooth, and kan no bettre chevyssaunce,
Nede anoon righte nymeth hym under maynprise.
And if hym list for to lape, the lawe of kynde wolde
That he dronke at ech dych, er he [deide for thurst].
So Nede, at gret nede, may nymen as for his owene,
Withouten conseil of Conscience or Cardynale Vertues -
So that he sewe and save Spiritus Temperancie.
'For is no vertue bi fer to Spiritus Temperancie -
Neither Spiritus Iusticie ne Spiritus Fortitudinis.
For Spiritus Fortitudinis forfeteth ful ofte
He shal do moore than mesure many tyme and ofte,
And bete men over bittre, and som body to litel,
And greve men gretter than good feith it wolde.
'And Spiritus Iusticie shal juggen, wole he, nel he,
After the kynges counseil and the comune like.
And Spiritus Prudencie in many a point shal faille
Of that he weneth wolde falle if his wit ne weere.
Wenynge is no wysdom, ne wys ymaginacion
Homo proponit et Deus disponit -
[God] governeth alle goode vertues;
And Nede is next hym, for anoon he meketh
And as lowe as a lomb, for lakkyng that hym nedeth;
For nede maketh nede fele nedes lowe-herted.
Philosophres forsoke welthe for thei wolde be nedy,
And woneden wel elengely and wolde noght be riche.
'And God al his grete joye goostliche he lefte,
And cam and took mankynde and bicam nedy.'
So he was nedy, as seith the Book, in manye sondry places,
That he seide in his some on the selve roode,
''the Fox and fowel may fle to hole and crepe,

And the fissh hath fyn to flete with to reste,
Ther nede hath ynome me, that I moot nede abide
And suffre sorwes ful soure, that shal to joye torne.''

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Veterinary Camps

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Twin State

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Confessio Amantis. Explicit Liber Secundus

Incipit Liber Tercius

Ira suis paribus est par furiis Acherontis,
Quo furor ad tempus nil pietatis habet.
Ira malencolicos animos perturbat, vt equo
Iure sui pondus nulla statera tenet.
Omnibus in causis grauat Ira, set inter amantes,
Illa magis facili sorte grauamen agit:
Est vbi vir discors leuiterque repugnat amori,
Sepe loco ludi fletus ad ora venit.

----------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------

If thou the vices lest to knowe,
Mi Sone, it hath noght ben unknowe,
Fro ferst that men the swerdes grounde,
That ther nis on upon this grounde,
A vice forein fro the lawe,
Wherof that many a good felawe
Hath be distraght be sodein chance;
And yit to kinde no plesance
It doth, bot wher he most achieveth
His pourpos, most to kinde he grieveth,
As he which out of conscience
Is enemy to pacience:
And is be name on of the Sevene,
Which ofte hath set this world unevene,
And cleped is the cruel Ire,
Whos herte is everemore on fyre
To speke amis and to do bothe,
For his servantz ben evere wrothe.
Mi goode fader, tell me this:
What thing is Ire? Sone, it is
That in oure englissh Wrathe is hote,
Which hath hise wordes ay so hote,
That all a mannes pacience
Is fyred of the violence.
For he with him hath evere fyve
Servantz that helpen him to stryve:
The ferst of hem Malencolie
Is cleped, which in compaignie
An hundred times in an houre
Wol as an angri beste loure,
And noman wot the cause why.
Mi Sone, schrif thee now forthi:
Hast thou be Malencolien?
Ye, fader, be seint Julien,
Bot I untrewe wordes use,
I mai me noght therof excuse:
And al makth love, wel I wot,

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Wrong Ones

[Phone Conversation]
[Cam:] Hello
[Girl:] Yo Kam
[Cam:] Yo mom whatsup whats goin on
[Girl:] Yo I cant meet you later yo
[Cam:] What Happened?
[Girl:] Yo he stalkin me
[Cam:] He in yo face like dat
[Girl:] Like dat yo hold on
Yo I'm talkin to June Allright
[Cam:] Damn he in yo face like dat
[Girl:] Just like dat
Yo Ill beep you later I can call you later
[Cam:] Alright Alright

[Cam]
Ay Yo you got ta undastand
I'm like a food to tha world
Cuz I'm friends wit ya man
Plus your cool wit my girl
Now I dont really understand how dat cat he be stressin u
I dont understand that you grown but yet he question u
Guessin that u love him but you in it for tha pay
But he know where u at every minute of tha day
But since we learned to creep
Is like we yearn for sleep
And my girls in my face when i dont return tha beep
Its like a sin or a crime
U in tha benz all tha time
But ya man know u aint wit ya friends all tha time
Ill be selfish
Sayin chancin tha long
Dats why I hang up when he answer tha phone
And Ill be callin from tha house in tha paul lobby
Plus I know him he too cheap for caller ID
And my girl in my face jus stressin me child
But Ill dial anotha number if she press redial

[Chorus]
Ay yo me and u creep right now its all fun
But you ever really think about tha long run
When tha nights over and its all done
Were tha wrong ones were tha wrong ones
Ay yo me and u creep right now its all fun
But you ever really think about tha long run
When tha nights over and its all done
Were tha wrong ones were tha wrong ones

[Cam]
I feel bad but good uh huh

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Confessio Amantis. Explicit Prologus

Incipit Liber Primus

Naturatus amor nature legibus orbem
Subdit, et vnanimes concitat esse feras:
Huius enim mundi Princeps amor esse videtur,
Cuius eget diues, pauper et omnis ope.
Sunt in agone pares amor et fortuna, que cecas
Plebis ad insidias vertit vterque rotas.
Est amor egra salus, vexata quies, pius error,
Bellica pax, vulnus dulce, suaue malum.

I may noght strecche up to the hevene
Min hand, ne setten al in evene
This world, which evere is in balance:
It stant noght in my sufficance
So grete thinges to compasse,
Bot I mot lete it overpasse
And treten upon othre thinges.
Forthi the Stile of my writinges
Fro this day forth I thenke change
And speke of thing is noght so strange,
Which every kinde hath upon honde,
And wherupon the world mot stonde,
And hath don sithen it began,
And schal whil ther is any man;
And that is love, of which I mene
To trete, as after schal be sene.
In which ther can noman him reule,
For loves lawe is out of reule,
That of tomoche or of tolite
Welnyh is every man to wyte,
And natheles ther is noman
In al this world so wys, that can
Of love tempre the mesure,
Bot as it falth in aventure:
For wit ne strengthe may noght helpe,
And he which elles wolde him yelpe
Is rathest throwen under fote,
Ther can no wiht therof do bote.
For yet was nevere such covine,
That couthe ordeine a medicine
To thing which god in lawe of kinde
Hath set, for ther may noman finde
The rihte salve of such a Sor.
It hath and schal ben everemor
That love is maister wher he wile,
Ther can no lif make other skile;
For wher as evere him lest to sette,
Ther is no myht which him may lette.
Bot what schal fallen ate laste,

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The Vision Of Piers Plowman - Part 19

Thus I awaked and wroot what I hadde ydremed,
And dighte me derely, and dide me to chirche,
To here holly the masse and to be housled after.
In myddes of the masse, tho men yede to offryng,
I fel eftsoones aslepe - and sodeynly me mette
That Piers the Plowman was peynted al blody,
And com in with a cros bifore the comune peple,
And right lik in alle lymes to Oure Lord Jesu.
And thanne called I Conscience to kenne me the sothe
'Is this Jesus the justere,' quod I, 'that Jewes dide to dethe?
Or it is Piers the Plowman! Who peynted hym so rede?'
Quod Conscience, and kneled tho, ' Thise arn Piers armes -
Hise colours and his cote armure; ac he that cometh so blody
Is Crist with his cros, conquerour of Cristene.'
'Why calle ye hym Crist?' quod I, 'sithen Jewes called hym Jesus?
Patriarkes and prophetes prophecied bifore
That alle kynne creatures sholden knelen and bowen
Anoon as men nempned the name of God Jesu.
Ergo is no name to the name of Jesus,
Ne noon so nedeful to nempne by nyghte ne by daye.
For alle derke develes arn adrad to heren it,
And synfulle aren solaced and saved by that name;
And ye callen hym Crist; for what cause, telleth me?
Is Crist moore of myght and moore worthi name
Than Jesu or Jesus, that al oure joye com of?'
'Thow knowest wel,' quod Conscience, 'and thow konne reson,
That knyght, kyng, conquerour may be o persone.
To be called a knyght is fair, for men shul knele to hym;
To be called a kyng is fairer, for he may knyghtes make;
Ac to be conquerour called, that cometh of special grace,
And of hardynesse of herte and of hendemesse -
To make lordes of laddes, of lond that he wynneth,
And fre men foule thralles, that folwen noght hise lawes.

'The Jewes, that were gentil men, Jesu thei despised -
Bothe his loore and his lawe; now are thei lowe cherles.
As wide as the world is, wonyeth ther noon
But under tribut and taillage as tikes and cherles;
And tho that bicome Cristene bi counseil of the Baptiste
Aren frankeleyns, free men thorugh fullynge that thei toke
And gentil men with Jesu - for Jesus was yfulled
And upon Calvarie on cros ycrouned kyng of Jewes.
' It bicometh to a kyng to kepe and to defende,
And conqueror of his conquest hise lawes and his large.
And so dide Jesus the Jewes - he justified and taughte hem
The lawe of lif that laste shal evere,
And fended from foule yveles, feveres and fiuxes,
And from fendes that in hem was, and false bileve.
Tho was he Jesus of Jewes called, gentile prophete,
And kyng of hir kyngdom, and croune bar of thornes.

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Like A Virgin / Hollywood Medley (feat. Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears & Missy Elliott) (2003: M

Britney Spears:
I made it through the wilderness. Somehow I
Made it through. Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you. I was beat incomplete.
I've been had. I was sad and blue, but you
Made me feel, yeah, you made me feel shiny
And new. Oh, oh.
Christina Aguilera:
Like a virgin, ooooh, touched for the very
First time, oh. Like a virgin when your
Heart beats next to mine, oh oh oooh yeah.
Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears:
Oooooh. Oooooh. Oooooh.
Madonna:
Everybody comes to Hollywood. They wanna
Make it in the neighborhood. They like the
Smell of it in Hollywood. How could it hurt
You when it looks so good?
Madonna:
Everybody comes to Hollywood. They wanna
Make it in the neighborhood. They like the
Smell of it in Hollywood. How could it hurt
You when it looks so good?
Madonna, Christina Aguilera, and Britney Spears:
Shine your light now. This time it's got to
Be good. You'll get it right now, yeah, 'cause
You're in Hollywood. You're in Hollywood.
Madonna:
Everybody comes to Hollywood. They wanna
Make it in the neighborhood. They like the
Smell of it in Hollywood. How could it hurt
You when it looks so good?
Missy Elliott:
Yo! Yo! Yo! Who that be? Missy Elliott, M.I.C.
I works it and I works it. Can I flip my thing
And reverse it? Come on! Go! Go 'head. Go! Go
'Head! I works it and I works it. Can I flip
My thing and reverse it? Come on! Go! Go 'head!
Go! Go 'head. Party people, we'll show you how
To work that. Where you at, Madonna?
Madonna:
Trip the station! Change the channel!
Madonna:
Hollywood. Hollywood. How could it hurt you
When it looks so good? Hollywood. Hollywoood.
How could it hurt you when it looks so good?
Madonna, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, and Missy Elliott:
Hollywood. Hollywood. How could it hurt you
When it looks so good? Hollywood. Hollywoood.
How could it hurt you when it looks so good?

[...] Read more

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Christina and You and Home for Lunch

As you went by
the girl's playground
after getting off

the school bus
Christina called to you
through the wire fence

and said
my mother said
you can come home

for lunch today
if you like
ok

you said
where shall I meet you?
Cedric will bring you along

she said
and so when
the lunch time

recess bell rang
you followed Cedric
out of the school

and saw Christina
by the outer fence waiting
are you sure

your mother doesn't mind?
you asked
of course not

she said
Cedric walked on in front
leaving you and Christiana

to walk on behind
she talked about some girl
in her class who had a boyfriend

and claimed
to have had sex
and then she went on

about the teacher
who had been expelled

[...] Read more

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Confessio Amantis. Explicit Liber Tercius

Incipit Liber Quartus


Dicunt accidiam fore nutricem viciorum,
Torpet et in cunctis tarda que lenta bonis:
Que fieri possent hodie transfert piger in cras,
Furatoque prius ostia claudit equo.
Poscenti tardo negat emolumenta Cupido,
Set Venus in celeri ludit amore viri.

Upon the vices to procede
After the cause of mannes dede,
The ferste point of Slowthe I calle
Lachesce, and is the chief of alle,
And hath this propreliche of kinde,
To leven alle thing behinde.
Of that he mihte do now hier
He tarieth al the longe yer,
And everemore he seith, 'Tomorwe';
And so he wol his time borwe,
And wissheth after 'God me sende,'
That whan he weneth have an ende,
Thanne is he ferthest to beginne.
Thus bringth he many a meschief inne
Unwar, til that he be meschieved,
And may noght thanne be relieved.
And riht so nowther mor ne lesse
It stant of love and of lachesce:
Som time he slowtheth in a day
That he nevere after gete mai.
Now, Sone, as of this ilke thing,
If thou have eny knowleching,
That thou to love hast don er this,
Tell on. Mi goode fader, yis.
As of lachesce I am beknowe
That I mai stonde upon his rowe,
As I that am clad of his suite:
For whanne I thoghte mi poursuite
To make, and therto sette a day
To speke unto the swete May,
Lachesce bad abide yit,
And bar on hond it was no wit
Ne time forto speke as tho.
Thus with his tales to and fro
Mi time in tariinge he drowh:
Whan ther was time good ynowh,
He seide, 'An other time is bettre;
Thou schalt mowe senden hire a lettre,
And per cas wryte more plein
Than thou be Mowthe durstest sein.'

[...] Read more

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Nobody Wants To Be Lonely (solo Version)

featuring Christina Aguilera
Ricky:
Why, why, why
Christina:
Oh ooh ohh
Ricky:
There you are, in a darkened room
And you're all alone, looking out the window
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love
Like a broken arrow
Here I stand in the shadows
Christina:
In the shadows
Ricky:
Come to come, come to me
Both:
Can't you see that
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you
Why (ooh ohh yeah), why (oh why), why
Christina:
Ooh ooh, yeah
Can you hear my voice, do you hear my song
It's a seranade, so your heart can find me, ohh
And suddenly you're flying down the stairs
Into my arms, baby, ohh
Ricky:
Before I start going crazy
Christina:
Going crazy, ohh
Ricky:
Run to me
Christina:
Run to me
Both:
Cause I'm dying...
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (don't wanna cry)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why

[...] Read more

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Tilt Ya Head Back

Somebody gimme a bass line
Yeah that's tight
Jay drop the drums right here
Think we missin' something dog, I got it
Put some horns right here
Ooooohhhh that's right
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Ha oooooohh
Give her what she wants ooooohhhh ha
Give her what she wants oh give her what she wants
[CHRISTINA]
I see you looking, at what you see
Boy, now don't be shy ain't nothin' but facin' opportunity
[NELLY]
She's right you know, (uh, hah) She's right (ahh)
(Man) She's right you know, (uh, hah)She's right(owwww!)
You stand there looking at me (at me)
I stand here looking at you girl (at you boy)
You know exactly what's on my mind (yeah yeah)
[CHRISTINA]
It's just the way that i see
You came here looking for me
But I don't do this type of thing all the time
(you want me to) come here boy
I got a little something for ya
Got a liitle bit, can't i get a little bit (yeah yeah)
And i don't know-oo, what it is but I just wanna get to know ya,
(alright, alright, yeah yeah)
[NELLY+CHRISTINA]
I need you to dance.......all night
Tilt ya head back
Take it down now
Bring it back up slowly
I need you to dance.......all night
Tilt ya head back
Yake it down now
Bring it back up slowly
[NELLY]
Now situations, girl they often change
Listen to me
Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad
But who's to blame?
[CHRISTINA]
He's right you know, (uh, hah) He's right (ahh)
(Baby girl) He's right you know, (uh, hah) He's right (oww!)
[NELLY]
You stand there looking at me (at me)
I stand here looking at you girl (at you boy)
You know exactly what's on my mind (yeah yeah)
[CHRISTINA]

[...] Read more

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Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales; The Clerkes Tale (a)

THE CLERKES TALE - PROLOGUE

Heere folweth the Prologe of the clerkes tale of Oxenford.

'Sire clerk of Oxenford,' oure Hooste sayde,
'Ye ryde as coy and stille as dooth a mayde,
Were newe spoused, sittynge at the bord.
This day ne herde I of youre tonge a word.
I trowe ye studie about som sophyme;

But Salomon seith, `every thyng hath tyme.'
For Goddes sake, as beth of bettre cheere;
It is no tyme for to studien heere,
Telle us som myrie tale, by youre fey.
For what man that is entred in a pley,

He nedes moot unto the pley assente;
But precheth nat as freres doon in Lente,
To make us for oure olde synnes wepe,
Ne that thy tale make us nat to slepe.
Telle us som murie thyng of aventures;

Youre termes, youre colours, and youre figures,
Keep hem in stoor, til so be that ye endite
Heigh style, as whan that men to kynges write.
Speketh so pleyn at this tyme, we yow preye,
That we may understonde what ye seye.'

This worthy clerk benignely answerde,
'Hooste,' quod he, 'I am under youre yerde.
Ye han of us as now the governance;
And therfore wol I do yow obeisance
As fer as resoun axeth, hardily.

I wol yow telle a tale, which that I
Lerned at Padwe of a worthy clerk,
As preved by his wordes and his werk.
He is now deed, and nayled in his cheste;
I prey to God so yeve his soule reste.

Fraunceys Petrark, the lauriat poete,
Highte this clerk, whos rethorike sweete
Enlumyned al Ytaille of poetrie,
As Lynyan dide of philosophie,
Or lawe, or oother art particuler.

But deeth, that wol nat suffre us dwellen heer
But as it were a twynklyng of an eye,
Hem bothe hath slayn, and alle shul we dye.
But forth to tellen of this worthy man,

[...] Read more

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The Battle Of Harlaw

As I cam in by Dunidier,
An doun by Netherha,
There was fifty thousand Hielanmen
A-marching to Harlaw.

As I cam on, an farther on,
An doun and by Balquhain,
Oh there I met Sir James the Rose,
Wi him Sir John the Gryme.

'O cam ye frae the Hielands, man,
An cam ye a' the wey?
Saw ye Macdonell an his men,
As they cam frae the Skee?'

'Yes, me cam frae ta Hielands, man,
An me cam a' ta wey,
An she saw Macdonnel an his men,
As they cam frae to Skee.'

'Oh was ye near Macdonnel's men?
Did ye their numbers see?
Come, tell to me, John Hielanman,
What micht their numbers be?'

'Yes, me was near, an near eneuch,
An me their numbers saw;
There was fifty thousan Hielanmen
A-marching to Harlaw.'

'Gin that be true,' says James the Rose,
'We'll no come meikle speed;
We'll cry upo our merry men,
And lichtly mount our steed.'

'Oh no, oh no,' says John the Gryme,
'That thing maun never be;
The gallant Grymes were never bate,
We'll try phat we can dee.'

As I cam on, an farther on,
An doun an by Harlaw,
They fell fu close on ilka side;
Sic fun ye never saw.

They fell fu close on ilka side,
Sic fun ye never saw;
For Hielan swords gied clash for clash,
At the battle o' Harlaw.

[...] Read more

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Vengeful Psychic

There once was a psychic who loved to chat,

She made up lies to Christina, saying this or that.

See, psychic needed more money and she wanted revenge,

So she started telling lies to all of Christina's friends.

Then of course she told Christina the biggest lie of all,

She told Christina to date Skunky and suck on his balls.

Skunky was of course the worst creep Christina had ever met,

He was a liar, a cheat and even did theft.

But in the end, Skunky became the psychic’s friend…

Stalking her on the internet.

Then of course psychic didn’t know,

She emailed Skunky photos of her 'island with no snow'.

But as soon as Skunky telephoned psychic a thousand times X 2,

She quickly ended it with Skunky and said they were through.

Now, Skunky had no redeeming qualities as of yet,

But his stalking the psychic made Christina very upset,

And it made Christina think “who is the one I’m worse off to have met?

Well, they are both really scummy just the same,

Playing on Christina’s good heart like a volleyball game.

But Christina won out over both of them,

Making rhyming peeve poems is the best revenge.

Written on Jan.20,2011 by Christina Sunrise

Copyright 2011 Chevalier Originals, Inc.

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