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COUCH POTATO

Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it
Or just let it slip?
Yo
Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstone's on the TV already
Wilma N' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin
And I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth, always says something foul
They're dying, Wow!
Wannabe's are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Show's based on reality
Oh the humanity!
Oh! Ozzy's family!
Sho' loves profanity!
Whoa! The insanity!
Oh! Dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No! They live happily
Yo! Plus "The Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh there's Anna Nicole
She's scaring me
"Look ma, no cavities!"
Oh! It's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me
"Turn off those music videos!" (no!)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN TV Land and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
"You're Gonna..."

[...] Read more

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Surfin Safari

Lets go surfin now
Everybodys learning how
Come on and safari with me
(come on and safari with...)
Early in the morning well be startin out
Some honeys will be coming along
Were loading up our woody
With our boards inside
And headin out singing our song
Come on (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin) take you surfin (surfin safari)with me
Come along (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin) take you surfin (surfin safari)with me
Lets go surfin now
Everybodys learning how
Come on and safari with me
(come on and safari with...)
At huntington and malibu
Theyre shooting the pier
At rincon theyre walking the nose
Were going on safari to the islands this year
So if youre coming get ready to go
Come on (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Come along (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Lets go surfin now
Everybodys learning how
Come on and safari with me
(come on and safari with...)
Theyre anglin in laguna in cerro azul
Theyre kicking out in dohini too
I tell you surfings mighty wild
Its getting bigger every day
From hawaii to the shores of peru
Come on (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Come along (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Lets go surfin now
Everybodys learning how
Come on and safari with me
(come on and safari with...)
With me
Surfin safari
With me
Surfin safari
With me
Surfin safari
With me

[...] Read more

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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Surfin'

Surfin' is the only life
The only way for me.
Now surf, surf (surfin') with me
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Surfin' is the only life
The only way for me.
Now surf, surf (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip
Bom bom dit di dit dip
Bom bom dit di dit dip
Bom bom dit di dit dip
I got up this mornin' turned on my radio
I was checkin' on the surfin' scene
To see if i would go
And when the dj tells me that the surfin' is fine
That's when i know my baby and i will have a good time
Surfin' is the only life
The only way for me.
Now surf, surf (surfin') with me
From the early morning to the middle of the night
Any time the surf is up the time is right
And when the surf is down and things get lazy
We'll do the surfer's stomp that's when the surfers go crazy
Surfin' is the only life
The only way for me.
Now surf, surf (surfin') with me
Now the dawn is breaking and we really gotta go
But we'll be back here very soon that you better know
You know my surfer knots are rising and my board is losing wax
(yeah yeah hey now)
But that won't stop me baby cause you know i'm coming back
Surfin' is the only life
The only way for me.
Now surf, surf (surfin') with me
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')
Bom bom dit di dit dip (surfin')

[...] Read more

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Idiot Boy

'Tis eight o'clock,--a clear March night,
The moon is up,--the sky is blue,
The owlet, in the moonlight air,
Shouts from nobody knows where;
He lengthens out his lonely shout,
Halloo! halloo! a long halloo!

--Why bustle thus about your door,
What means this bustle, Betty Foy?
Why are you in this mighty fret?
And why on horseback have you set
Him whom you love, your Idiot Boy?

Scarcely a soul is out of bed;
Good Betty, put him down again;
His lips with joy they burr at you;
But, Betty! what has he to do
With stirrup, saddle, or with rein?

But Betty's bent on her intent;
For her good neighbour, Susan Gale,
Old Susan, she who dwells alone,
Is sick, and makes a piteous moan
As if her very life would fail.

There's not a house within a mile,
No hand to help them in distress;
Old Susan lies a-bed in pain,
And sorely puzzled are the twain,
For what she ails they cannot guess.

And Betty's husband's at the wood,
Where by the week he doth abide,
A woodman in the distant vale;
There's none to help poor Susan Gale;
What must be done? what will betide?

And Betty from the lane has fetched
Her Pony, that is mild and good;
Whether he be in joy or pain,
Feeding at will along the lane,
Or bringing faggots from the wood.

And he is all in travelling trim,--
And, by the moonlight, Betty Foy
Has on the well-girt saddle set
(The like was never heard of yet)
Him whom she loves, her Idiot Boy.

And he must post without delay

[...] Read more

poem by William Wordsworth
Added by Poetry Lover
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Surfin Safari

Surfin safari
Lets go surfin now
Everybodys learning how
Come on a safari with me
(come on a safari with...)
Early in the morning well be startin out
Some honeys will be coming along
Were loading up our woody with our boards inside
And headin out singing our song
Come on (surf route) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin route) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Come along (surfin route) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surfin route) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Lets go surfin now everybodys learning how
Come on a safari with me (come on a safari with...)
At huntington and malibu theyre shooting the pier
At rincon theyre walking the nose
Were going on safari to the islands this year
So if youre coming get ready to go
Come on (surfin) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surf route) take you surfin (surfin safari)with me
Come along (surf route) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surf route) take you surfin (surfin safari)with me
Lets go surfin now everybodys learning how
Come on a safari with me (come on a safari with...)
Theyre anglin in laguna in cerro azul
Theyre kicking out in dohini too
I tell you surfings mighty wild its getting bigger every day
From hawaii to the shores of peru
Come on (surf route) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surf route) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Come along (surf route) baby wait and see (surfin safari)
Yes Im gonna (surf route) take you surfin (surfin safari) with me
Lets go surfin now everybodys learning how
Come on a safari with me (come on a safari with...)
With me surfin safari.

song performed by Ramones
Added by Lucian Velea
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Loop De Loop

(laughter)
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Have you ever been in airplane
When the flyin circus comes to town
Count your change
You can come and walk the wing with me
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop take away an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Peepin and a-hidin in and out of the cloud
The leader lost a hanky wavin down at the crowd
The barnstorm down but the rooster on the weather vane
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop take away an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Huffin and a-puffin flyin high as she can
A patchwork quilt stretches over the land
Well toss and tumble and sail her right in to the sun
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop gotcha in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
(loop de loop flip flop flyin in an aeroplane)

[...] Read more

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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Still Surfin

He used to ride the sidewalks in a landlocked town
A solitary surfer still he got around
He had his favorite spots now
Where the best rides could be found
With posters on his wall from surfer magazine
His room looked like a shrine to the surfin scene
Go to hawaii out of high school was his big time college dream
(thats where the girls are)
Did you ever wonder what happened to surfer joe
He up and took a ? ? ? down to mexico
With a pretty senorita we both used to know
You can see him catch a wave in the mornin light
And sometimes you can find him on his board at night
A silouette on water as the sun dips outta sight
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Youll catch him on a wave on his way to class
Then be back there after school [til his daylight pass? ? ? ]
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Surfers always love them summer days
With a board in the water rollin with the waves
Hes still surfin
Hes always been a surfer since the early days
Spendin the summer searchin for that perfect wave
He and his surfin senorita never seem to age
He doesnt do a whole lot with his law degree
They thought about a major oceanography
But he does a lot of thinkin bout how to save the sea
(thats where the waves are)
Things up north were gettin kinda out of hand
So he got a break to see the ride on the sand
With his little mama seated in a surfers never never land
You can see him catch a wave in the mornin light
And sometimes you can find him on his board at night
A silouette on water as the sun dips outta sight
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Youll catch him on a wave on his way to class
Then be back there after school [til his daylight pass? ? ? ]
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)
Hes still surfin
(still surfin)

[...] Read more

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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I Saw It Myself (Short Verse Drama)

Dramatis Personae: Adrian, his wife Ester, his sisters Rebecca and Johanna, his mother Elizabeth, the high priest Chiapas, the disciple Simon Peter, the disciple John, Mary Magdalene, worshipers, priests, two angels and Jesus Christ.

Act I

Scene I.- Adrian’s house in Jerusalem. Adrian has just returned home after a business journey in Galilee, in time to attend the Passover feast. He sits at the table with his wife Ester and his sisters, Rebecca and Johanna. It’s just before sunset on the Friday afternoon.

Adrian. (Somewhat puzzled) Strange things are happening,
some say demons dwell upon the earth,
others angelic beings, miracles take place
and all of this when they had put a man to death,
had crucified a criminal. Everybody knows
the cross is used for degenerates only!

Rebecca. (With a pleasant voice) Such harsh words used,
for a good, a great man brother?
They say that without charge
he healed the sick, brought back sight,
cured leprosy, even made some more food,
from a few fishes and loafs of bread…

Adrian. (Somewhat harsh) They say many things!
That he rode into Jerusalem
to be crowned as the new king,
was a rebel against the state,
even claimed to be
the very Son of God,
now that is blasphemy
if there is no truth to it!

Johanna. I met him once.
He’s not the man
that you make him, brother.
There was a strange tranquilly to Him.
Some would say a divine presence,
while He spoke of love that is selfless,
visited the sick, the poor
and even the destitute, even harlots.

Adrian. (Looks up) There you have it!
Harlots! Tax collecting thieves!
A man is know by his friends,
or so they say and probably
there is some truth to it.

Ester. Husband, do not be so quick to judge.
I have seen Him myself, have seen
Roman soldiers marching Him to the hill
to take His life, with a angry crowd
following and mocking Him.

[...] Read more

poem by Gert Strydom
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Drawing a Purple Blank Verse after Gelett BURGESS Purple Cow

DRAWING A PURPLE BLANK VERSE
Kindly refer to notes

I've never cowed to purple prose
know now I'll never write it,
for anyhow true writer knows
hand stretched finds critics bite it.

I've never wowed, and goodness knows
hacks lack the knack of versing,
won't bow, kowtow to backhand blows,
preferring role reverse_sing.

Ah, yes, I wrote on purple prose,
yet can't regret I penned it,
one far prefers rhyme's timeless flows,
no blush need rush defend it.

10 February 2009
robi03_1856_burg01_0001 PWX_IXX

Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow

Author notes

For original and variations on a theme see bekiw
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
THE PURPLE COW

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
CONFESSION

Ah, yes! I wrote the « Purple Cow » -
I’m Sorry, now, I Wrote it,
But I can Tell you Anyhow
I’ll Kill you if you Quote it.

Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A Perfect Woman

[...] Read more

poem by Jonathan Robin
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Surfin' Safari

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me

Early in the morning we'll be startin' out
Some honeys will be coming along
We're loading up our Woody
With our boards inside
And headin' out singing our song

Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you surfin' with me
Come along baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you surfin' with me

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me

At Huntington and Malibu
They're shooting the pier
At Rincon they're walking the nose
We're going on safari to the islands this year
So if you're coming get ready to go

Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you surfin' with me
Come along baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you surfin' with me

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me

They're anglin' in Laguna in Cerro Azul
They're kicking out in Dohini too
I tell you surfing's mighty wild
It's getting bigger every day
From Hawaii to the shores of Peru

Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you surfin' with me
Come along baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you surfin' with me

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me

With me

[...] Read more

song performed by Ramones from Acid Eaters
Added by Lucian Velea
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Santas Got An Airplane

Loop de loop flip flop santas got an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop santas hearts full of joy
Loop de loop flip flop santas got a new toy
If youre up a little late on christmas eve this year
And youre waiting for that pudgy person to appear
Instead of the patter of tiny feet you will hear
cause loop de loop flip flop santas got an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop santas hearts full of joy
Loop de loop flip flop santas got a new toy
He skydives down to the chimney with ease
Parachutes a package to the whole family
Its santas air special delivery to under your tree
Oh, well, loop de loop flip flop santas got an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop santas hearts full of joy
Loop de loop flip flop santas got a new toy
Santa and rudy sittin at the controls
A buncha sleepy helpers waiting back at the pole
They know where they are cause they navigate by the stars!
cause loop de loop flip flop santas got an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop santas hearts full of joy
Loop de loop flip flop santas got a new toy
Loop de loop flip flop santas got an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop flyin in an airplane
Loop de loop flip flop santas hearts full of joy
Loop de loop flip flop santas got a new toy
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away
Loop de loop flip flop fly away

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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The House Of Dust: Complete

I.

The sun goes down in a cold pale flare of light.
The trees grow dark: the shadows lean to the east:
And lights wink out through the windows, one by one.
A clamor of frosty sirens mourns at the night.
Pale slate-grey clouds whirl up from the sunken sun.

And the wandering one, the inquisitive dreamer of dreams,
The eternal asker of answers, stands in the street,
And lifts his palms for the first cold ghost of rain.
The purple lights leap down the hill before him.
The gorgeous night has begun again.

'I will ask them all, I will ask them all their dreams,
I will hold my light above them and seek their faces.
I will hear them whisper, invisible in their veins . . .'
The eternal asker of answers becomes as the darkness,
Or as a wind blown over a myriad forest,
Or as the numberless voices of long-drawn rains.

We hear him and take him among us, like a wind of music,
Like the ghost of a music we have somewhere heard;
We crowd through the streets in a dazzle of pallid lamplight,
We pour in a sinister wave, ascend a stair,
With laughter and cry, and word upon murmured word;
We flow, we descend, we turn . . . and the eternal dreamer
Moves among us like light, like evening air . . .

Good-night! Good-night! Good-night! We go our ways,
The rain runs over the pavement before our feet,
The cold rain falls, the rain sings.
We walk, we run, we ride. We turn our faces
To what the eternal evening brings.

Our hands are hot and raw with the stones we have laid,
We have built a tower of stone high into the sky,
We have built a city of towers.

Our hands are light, they are singing with emptiness.
Our souls are light; they have shaken a burden of hours . . .
What did we build it for? Was it all a dream? . . .
Ghostly above us in lamplight the towers gleam . . .
And after a while they will fall to dust and rain;
Or else we will tear them down with impatient hands;
And hew rock out of the earth, and build them again.

II.

[...] Read more

poem by Conrad Potter Aiken
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Black Betty

Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
She's from birmingham (bam-ba-lam)
Way down in alabam' (bam-ba-lam)
Well, she's shakin' that thing (bam-ba-lam)
Boy, she makes me sing (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty bam-ba-lam
She really gets me high (bam-ba-lam)
You know that's no lie (bam-ba-lam)
She's so rock steady (bam-ba-lam)
And she's always ready (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
oh, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
oh, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Black betty had a child (bam-ba-lam)
and she swears it's mine (bam-ba-lam)
she must be outta mind (bam-ba-lam)
she must think im blind (bam-ba-lam)
oh, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
oh, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
oh, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
oh, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
monday she got me arrested.
on tuesday up in chain.
on wednesday my trial was tested.
thursday she posted my bail.
friday we went walking.
saturday i out my door.
on sunday we was talking,
back on monday she pawned all my cloths.
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
She's from birmingham (bam-ba-lam)
Way down in alabam' (bam-ba-lam)
Well, she's shakin' that thing (bam-ba-lam)
Boy, she makes me sing (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty )bam-ba-lam)
She really gets me high (bam-ba-lam)
You know that's no lie (bam-ba-lam)
She's so rock steady (bam-ba-lam)
And she's always ready (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black betty (bam-ba-lam)

song performed by Tom Jones
Added by Lucian Velea
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Tiger's Rumour and other Parodies William Blake - The Tyger

Tyger’s Rumour

Rumour rushing rampant right
round faithless forests of wraith night,
what immoral hand or eye
could frame fly tearless symmetry?

In what deep and dark disguise
spread irking libel, lurking lies?
on what wasp wings dare they aspire –
e’er slander sting tongues air fame liar?

What woeful infamous black art
wrung toxic sinews, tocsin heart
rung when sin heart broke cheating beat,
what sleight of hand to greet deceit!

What wrong's hammer, what strong chain?
in what furnace forged? What brain
fed wily worms sly envy's [g]rasp,
bred spiteful deadly [t]errors’ [g]asp?

11 December 1991 revised 18 September 2009 robi3_0504_blak1_0003 PXX_JXX for previous version see below
Parody William BLAKE 1757_1827 The Tyger

Tyger’s Rumour

Rumour rushing rampant right
round faithless forests of wraith night,
what immortal hand or eye
could frame fly tearless symmetry?

In what deep and dark disguise
spread irking libel, lurking lies?
On what wasp wings dare they aspire –
e’er slander sting tongues air fame liar?

What woeful infamous black art
wrung toxic sinews, tocsin heart
rung when sin heart broke cheating beat,
what sleight of hand to greet deceit!

What wrong's hammer, what strong chain?
In what furnace forged? What brain
fed wily worms sly envy's [g]rasp,
bred them deadly, errors’ [g]asp?

[...] Read more

poem by Jonathan Robin
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Tyger's Eye - after William Blake

Tyger's Eye

Tyger Tyger, once again
we'll praise your uncontested reign
where golden eye implies rebirth,
of jungle lord's word none constrain.

From distant deeps of tropic skies.
to forests sparse where eagle flies,
your power ripples round world's girth -
how could it e'er be otherwise?

Strength in each and every part
needs no paltry poet's art
to illustrate your peerless worth
which rhymes through time in class apart.

Neither hammer, chain, may blind
furnace features, anvil mind,
you represent upon this Earth
both force and freedom none may bind.

[c] Jonathan Robin - parody William Blake written 27 June 2008 robi3_1775_blak1_0003 PXX_CNX

___________

The Tyger

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry

In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes!
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare sieze the fire!

And what shoulder, and what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand! and what dread feet!

What the hammer! what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain
What the anvil, what dread grasp,

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poem by Jonathan Robin
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Mary had a Little Vamp and Other Parodies after Sarah Josepha HALE

Mary had a little vamp,
whose teeth glowed white as snow,
each night from sightly vent – no cramp -
the crimson droplets flow.

Some followed her from school one day;
though stalking's 'gainst the rules;
it made goose pimples grow and stay
to see them play at ghouls.

But they were caught, their tale remains
from history well hid,
though we discovered their remains
beneath oak coffin lid.

And so blood flowed from inside out,
none dared to lingered near
when shadows shiver, hang about
until Vamps disappear.

'Why does the Vamp love Mary so? '
the eager children cry;
'Why, Mary loves the Vamp, you know, '
the teacher did reply.

Sleep-overs followed, - little Vamp
A, B, AB, O, drew
by light of Mary’s lurid lamp
new haemoglobulu.

Thus vampire Vlad made Mary glad
hark! men well-read may read,
from kid school lad to college grad, -
mark then welt's red fey bead.

He wore a scarlet cape to match
sweet Mary’s ruddy lips,
attached thereto a cup to catch
the rhesus drips he sips.

No fly-by-night awed Mary’s Vamp,
he could fear blend at need,
though sky high flight soared scary champ -
we here end batty screed.

© Jonathan Robin parody written 3 May 2007 revised 3 September 2008 - for previous version see below

Mary had a little vamp,
whose teeth were white as snow,

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poem by Jonathan Robin
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Beach Boys Medley

I, I love the colorful clothes she wears
And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair
I hear the sound of a gentle word
On the wind that lifts her perfume through the air
I'm pickin' up good vibrations
She's giving me excitations
Good good good good vibrations
(Oom bop bop)
She's giving me excitations
(Oom bop bop excitations)
Good good good good vibrations
Help me Rhonda
Help, help me Rhonda
Help me Rhonda
Help, help me Rhonda
Help me Rhonda
Help, help me Rhonda
Help me Rhonda
Help, help me Rhonda
Help me Rhonda
Help, help me Rhonda
Help me Rhonda
Help, help me Rhonda
Help me Rhonda yeah
Get her out of my heart
We always take my car cause it's never been beat
And we've never missed yet with the girls we meet
None of the guys go steady cause it wouldn't be right
To leave their best girl home now on Saturday night
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
I'm makin' real good bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Round round get around
I get around
Yeah get around
Ahh ooo ooo
It happened on the strip where the road is wide
(Oooo rev it up now)
Two cool shorts standin' side by side
(Oooo rev it up now)
Yeah, my fuel injected Stingray and a four-thirteen
(Oooo rev it up now)

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song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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Surfin Usa

If everybody had an ocean
Across the u.s.a.
Then everybodyd be surfin
Like californi-a
Youd seem em wearing their baggies
Huarachi sandals too
A bushy bushy blonde hairdo
Surfin u.s.a.
Youd catch em surfin at del mar
Ventura county line
Santa cruz and trestle
Australias narabine
All over manhattan
And down doheny way
Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin u.s.a.
Well all be planning that route
Were gonna take real soon
Were waxing down our surfboards
We cant wait for june
Well all be gone for the summer
Were on surfari to stay
Tell the teacher were surfin
Surfin u.s.a.
Haggerties and swamies
Pacific palisades
San anofree and sunset
Redondo beach l.a.
All over la jolla
At waimia bay
Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin u.s.a.
Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin u.s.a.
Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin u.s.a.

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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Luggage Canada

b ean bag stoer
bed liner motorcycle bags
bern aby bag
bed in a bag ty pennington
beetle bags roadstar midnight star
bean bag chairs burbank
bedroom in a bag justine
bean bag guns for purchase
berto bag
bed in a bag pink paisley
belt bag tool belt
biasia byoux bags
beer corn hole bags
beg borrow steal bags
bennington golf travel bag
bible verse shoulder hand bags
bean bag stuffing material
bean bag plastic pellets
beijo business bags pastel blue
belkin messenger bag
b ean bag simba
bean bag toss game specifications
bean bag chairs reno nv
bean bag herb alpert
bean bag forgame
bella hand bags
bean bag chair video
bean bag door stops
beretta nra approved gun bag
ben hogan kapalua golf bag
bes pak freezer bags
bean bag furniture paypal
bean bags chair ladybug
bean bag tossing game
betty boop gift bags
bean bag tic tac toe
bettz designs knitting tote bags
bean bag toss rules
beth any bag
bean bag chair indigo denim print
bean bag pillows microfiber
be an foam bag
bible buy loaf bag
bebe handbag bag
beverage delivery bags
betty boop harley bag
bichon frise gift bags
ben hogan golf mystique stand bag
bicyce crossbar bag
bean bag shells shotgun

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Soul Surfin

Soul surfin searching for the truth getting buried deep inside and come out wantin
More
Soul surfin in the greenroom
When the time is right, youre plant will bloom
Soul surf, drop in and take a ride
Live day to day just to get by
Soul surfin carvin to the bone sittin in the pocket flowin all alone
Soul surf
Soul surfin searchin for a home
Lookin for a girl I can call my own
Soul surfin searching for the truth getting buried deep inside and come out wantin more
You cant lose what you dont got, just look and you will see
So many lost souls wandering through these streets aimlessly
Lifes like a puzzle to me, Im only missing one piece
Soul surfin gonna search for my soul eternally
I know eventually I will find my soul mate
The one I want to go home to every night of every day
But until then Im gonna have fun and play
Keep a smile on my face, I ride this life like a wave
Soul surfin in pretty blue waters
Waitin for the day that I could just call her
Soul surf
Soul surfin Im all by myself
I dont need a girl that cares about wealth
Im soul surfin and searchin for a lady and these fools probably think that Im crazy
I aint shady baby Ill tell it like it is
When you look in my face youll no Im serious
Now its delirious all these funny pretty girls trying to get up in my face and trying to rule
My world
What do you want form me
Im the d-loc
The capital d
What you gets what you see.
Soul surfin searching for the truth getting buried deep inside and come out wantin more-
Soul surfin in the green room when your time is right your plant will bloom soul surfin touchin
Blue skys up high where spirits fly pretty, pretty, pretty were to young to die

song performed by Kottonmouth Kings
Added by Lucian Velea
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One Shot At Love

One shot
Oh lord
You know, its gonna be a lot of negative things surroundin you
Tryin to pull you down
But what you have to remember is
Its up to you - its your choice
You only get one shot in life
And you only get one shot at love
Did you ever notice - everytime you fall in love
And it seems like you finally met the perfect match
Everything is perfect, it seems divine
But for some strange reason, theres always a catch
Its a one-way relationship, it hurts inside
One person smirks while the other one cries
Butterflies in the stomach of the one whose in love
It cuts like a knife, the truth mixed with lies
One shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all you get
Physical and mental, those are two different loves
Physicals a moment, mental is forever
If the physical fades and gets weak, all of a sudden
Remember, its the mental love that keeps you together
You gotta be strong and endure the hard times
Cause af-ter hard times, good times, always follow
And when youre kissin and huggin and makin love
Treat that person like theres no tomorrow
One shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all you get baby; one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one.. shot.. (one shot at love..)
Thats all you get {*sniff*}
Jealousy - dont let it interfere
Dont let it come in between
The love you two share, cause jealousys a hateful god
So merciless and mean
And its only job in life, is to ruin relationships
And pit two people against, one another
And because of this god, the one you love so much
Will no longer be your lover
One shot (one shot at love..)
Aww baby, one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all we get, one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
I mean this baby, one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all..
I hope you understand what I just said
All Im sayin is that you only get one shot at love in life
And you have to hold on to that shot, take advantage of it

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song performed by LL Cool J
Added by Lucian Velea
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