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The Anguish Of Arthur's blighted breath

Cold, solitary, Arther, now a middle aged man,

Lived alone with his cat called'Alice'

And drove a small white van

Plagued by diffidence and hallitosis

Afflicted by neurosis

Arther walked the streets alone.

Friends that he had known at school

Had left him stranded by year nine

He told his mother everything was 'fine'

His favourite word to cover up the hurt

He failed to find a wife

Or even flirt

While all his friends were married, mortgaged, and insured

Arther sat alone in cafes being 'ignored'

By all the lovers, friends, and families

Once he recalled he nearly kissed a girl called 'emily'

But as he drew near to plant a pecker on her cheek

She recoiled in horror at his green teeth, and cried

'Did you eat an onion for your tea? something smells

rotten, and I know it isn't me! '

One childhood trauma that had left deep scars

So Arther turned his attention to his cat, and car

And played bingo every wednesday week at nine

The number caller was called Doris, she was thirty nine,

And over drinks and crisps she asked him out to dine,

Flustered feeling awkward he replied.

'That's fine! '

Though she was a midget with a nervous tick

He resolved to kiss her on the date and get it over quick

Before she got a whiff of his disgusting breath

And put an end to his last chance at happiness

But Doris was endowed with potent olifactory sense

She's smelt him from a hundred yards but gave no hint

And as he bent down to kiss her, she shoved in a mint.

They were married in a shower of aromatic bliss

And joyful Arther, forever sucked upon a peppermint! !

poem by Yvette Smith
Added by Poetry Lover
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