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Do I Belong?

I have coined subtle words,
Framed robust sentences
And idioms unique
In my private fantasy but
They miserably ditch me
At the fateful moment
When I wish to confide that
‘I belong.’

Carefully pronounced words fizzle out
Under the feather-weight
Of nocturnal dreams
Nourished in the womb
Of a barren Autumn.

Faint beams of a pestering hallucination
Giggle mischievously
When I don’t know
What is what?

I have rehearsed in vain
Ridiculous postures
And carefully designed dialogues
In the privacy of my greenroom,
For I cannot look eye to eye
When most wanted.

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