Go Ahead, Call Me A Pig, I’ve Heard Worse
Okay, okay, this is getting long, and I’m almost
ready to vomit myself, so I’ll cut to the chase.
Did we wind up in bed? You bet. Not that night,
but a few days later. Now, you can go ahead and
call me a pig. I’ve heard worse. But just
understand one thing. I was only trying to satisfy
a biological urge. I didn’t ask to be wired this
way. It’s the way God made me: horny as all get
up. But see, I can’t be honest with women about
that because overtly sex-charged guys turn them
off big time (well, usually) , so I’m forced to use
deceit. I don’t mean to hurt anyone. I wish I
didn’t have to go through such a rigmarole to get
laid, but there’s no other way.