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Openness
I came to life when the flowers were blooming
Spring time irony
I am exactly who I was meant to be.
But maybe the idea of being
little miss picture perfect
isn't one I agree with.
Always smiling but not out of happiness
Who am I?
Bleach my hair
make me someone I'm not just for the sake of their eyes
and their souls, save them from my emptiness
because I swear to the depths of this earth
and to whatever exists beyond them
I contain a heart so broken
that every beat pumps numbness throughout my body.
Who am I?
This body, so slender
Girls stick their fingers down their throats to look like this
And for me, it's effortless
So why do these days exist where I simply want to be someone else
Stare in the mirror wondering,
"Why would anyone ever want to love this? "
But don't let it be mistaken
We are all a beautiful mess
covered in fingerprints from old lovers
and we can't shed the layers of a romance that touched our souls
so let's bleach our insides
make ourselves immaculate again
clean out the delicate moments and soft spoken secrets
and every valuable kiss we've ever stolen, we'll return
Because I have learned
that it is cheap to exchange saliva
without exchanging words.
But words bring complications
And writers, we're dangerous people
Because our greatest form of creation
stems from our most painful destruction
And isn't it strange
that when we shake hands with new lovers
In the other we hold a gun that shoots bullets of words
That are meant to warn and frighten
But instead of running away
they are always drawn in
Loving me incessantly
Always so easily
Love.
It's just an uproar of chemicals in the brain
And what if I'm right?
And without these chemicals
There'd be millions of people
Staring at each other, confused
Wondering what this emptiness is they feel
And why can it suddenly no longer be filled?
poem
by
Vanessa Grixti
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