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Swimming Sideways
I'm in over my head in this nightmare
The water is dragging me under
And I'm gasping for air
I kick a little harder
I won't go without a fight
But the waves are getting bigger
Crashing down on me
The riptide is getting angrier
And I'm screaming frantically
But nobody can hear
I've made it through storms before
But do I have strength enough now?
My body is tired and sore
It tells me to surrender, but I vow
I won't give up, not yet
But these voices in my head
Tell me that it's useless
'You have no choice, ' they said
Tell me that it'll be painless
But then I hear my conscience
It's weaker than it used to be
But it's still there
It whispers to me
'You know what's right'
And I do, oh, I do!
But it's so tempting
To just give up when times are hard
When so many others are drowning
But I have a lifeguard
He died so I wouldn't
I can't disappoint him
So I muster all my strength
And sideways I try to swim
I'm not ready for death
My soul, my innocence, isn't ready to die
Oh, teenagers
We're all just trying to swim
Through life's stormy waters
Some of us seem to skim
Over rough water, under turbulent waves
Others are doggy-paddling
Slow, but steady
They get knocked around, but keep swimming
They make mistakes constantly
But hope and trust they'll eventually find land
And yet, so many others give up hope
Maybe they never learned how to swim
Or they've been crushed by one too many waves to cope
The future looks so grim
And either way, they drown
They give up who they are
To become who society wants them to be
They fall, they fall far
Into temptations and peer pressure easily
Some even give up on life
Me? I'm just doggy-paddling through
Trying so hard, but sometimes falling short
And now I'm stuck in this riptide, it's true
But I'll make it to that faraway port
Because now I'm swimming, swimming sideways
poem
by
Aimee Doll
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