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Notes on Pain
1
between us
a wounded silence
of pain, torturous
across the room
endless horizon
of invisibility
studied distances -
your eyes
gaze furtively
i catch them
and quickly
you turn away
i sit transfixed
feverishly nursing
a throbbing head
you swing and fling
arms and voice
above the rest
of the dancers moving
to the rock music
of a rained-in party.
i do not know anymore
how to read
eyes, motions
of protection.
i do not know anymore
how to shed layers
of pretensions.
2
women, feminists say
do not make each other
enemies, after the phase
of loving and sharing
warm beds and starlit nights
both feel the same pain
but patriarchy
is such a good mentor
and we have been
good students.
3
the moon with an iris
hallowed in the skies
a pastel hue of blue
and misty grey
we held hands
chemistry does not lie
and then the next day
you said, there is
nothing between us.
i look at my hands
feel the gripping ghost
of your touch.
4
do not touch my forehead
in the despair
of a stress-produced
headache, your touch
is like an enemy
stalking through the dark
and when i light
my heart, you shoot
your arrow
right into my death
5
a friend had said
intuition is woman’s best guide:
feel our hearts
i thought i felt something
more than a friendly touch
and my friend will
never lie
and i do not.
6
where is the politics
in all this?
my wounded heart
learns again
the essence of struggle
this time, my fears
my own enemy
poem
by
Aida Santos
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