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Hera
I am Hera,
And you may know me
As the queen of the gods,
And as Zeus's wife.
Despite what they say about me,
I do not really like my husband,
For he is a real jerk.
I mean, he gives all this
Attention to other women,
And never gives any attention
To me.
It makes me mad,
And, of course, jealous,
Because I only have two children,
And one is a spoiled brat,
And the other walks with a freaking limp!
I mean, maybe I give
My husband to hard of a time,
But, truthfully, I can be reasonable;
And, yes, I am reasonable!
I listen to my husband,
And I am there when he needs me,
And I am there when he has problems.
But, I just wish he wasn't so selfish
And I wish he understood what
The true meaning of marriage was!
Sometimes, I feel like I want
To kill him,
But, of course, I cannot,
Even though my envy
Gets so high,
So I punish him through
Killing his bastard children.
Yes, I have smitten
A few humans in my lifetime,
As my husband smote many
Things in his lifetime,
As well,
And, yes, they were all his children.
I think I have killed so
Many that I have lost count,
But I do know that I killed
Hercules,
Had Paris killed,
Had Hector killed,
Maybe Theseus,
For I cannot remember,
Put my wrath on Jason,
And also my wrath
Onto Medea,
And I have also
Killed many other people.
Heck, I helped Troy
Fall to the ground,
For that is why it is no more,
Just because Paris thought
Aphrodite was more
Beautiful than I was.
I mean, come on,
Aphrodite may be beautiful,
But she is like a prostitute,
Sleeping around all the time,
And having fun while doing it, too.
I, on the other hand, do not
Do that,
For I am loyal to my
Husband, no matter what.
Oh, okay, you have me there;
I did cheat on him
Once in my life,
And I had that awful
Child with the limp,
And man,
I cannot stand it,
For I guess I was punished
By the Fates
For that,
After all.
But, still, I do not sleep
Around like Aphrodite does,
For she is a creep!
Dang, I hate her,
If anything.
So, yes,
Life is pretty
Unhappy with my husband,
But I do manage to trick him
Every once in a while,
For he can easily be seduced,
For he likes who I am
Whenever I come across him,
And I am the master of seduction,
So I take him to bed,
And he does everything I ask of him.
It is ingenious, I know, right?
Yeah, it works,
But life could still be better,
Even though I do have fun with
Trickery every once in a while.
I hope you all enjoy yourselves,
For I have some stuff
That I need to do,
And I will go to it.
Thank you so much,
And it was nice meeting you.
poem
by
James Roberts
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