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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=539029" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Modern Major-General</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=539029" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">I am the very pattern of a modern Major-Gineral,<br>I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral;<br>I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,<br>From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;<br>I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,<br>I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical;<br>About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,<br>With interesting facts about the square of the hypotenuse,<br>I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,<br>I know the scientific names of beings animalculous.<br>In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,<br>I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=539029" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">I know our mythic history - KING ARTHUR'S and SIR CARADOC'S,<br>I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox;<br>I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of HELIOGABALUS,<br>In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous.<br>I tell undoubted RAPHAELS from GERARD DOWS and ZOFFANIES,<br>I know the croaking chorus from the "Frogs" of ARISTOPHANES;<br>Then I can hum a fugue, of which I've heard the music's din afore,<br>And whistle all the airs from that confounded nonsense "Pinafore."<br>Then I can write a washing-bill in Babylonic cuneiform,<br>And tell you every detail of CARACTACUS'S uniform.<br>In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,<br>I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=539029" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin,"<br>When I can tell at sight a Chassepot rifle from a javelin,<br>When such affairs as SORTIES and surprises I'm more wary at,<br>And when I know precisely what is meant by Commissariat,<br>When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,<br>When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery,<br>In short, when I've a smattering of elementary strategy,<br>You'll say a better Major-GenerAL has never SAT a gee -<br>For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,<br>Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century.<br>But still in learning vegetable, animal, and mineral,<br>I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral!</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><a href="http://poems.citatepedia.com/">poem</a> by <strong><a rel="author" href="http://authors.citatepedia.com/by.php?a=William+Schwenck+Gilbert">William Schwenck Gilbert</a></strong></div>

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