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Unforgiving Failure
I've spent so much time
Remembering the lightning flash of your eyes
And the inescapable excitement of your mouth
Caressing words in the dream-like afternoon
When I used to assume I meant something to you.
There was never a breath of yours that was a lie,
Never a hesitation that implored me to believe
I was a man to open your doors,
A lover to take your coat or hold your umbrella,
A gentleman with the privilege of protecting your honor.
I was drunk on the perfume of your essence,
I was staggering to feel your breath on my collar,
I wanted to write the ecstasy of your existence
On secretive ancient scrolls that deities would keep
Down through supernatural centuries,
I wanted a place in your history.
I thought I had the strength to withstand
Against the gates of jealousy
Whenever I saw you with another man,
That I could take a kick to my emotional stomach
And never whimper or wince,
Such was the state of my faithfulness and resolve,
I was a stone poet who could endure any indignity.
But the days have defeated me
And the decline of youthfulness
Has unseated me,
Any attempts at poetry seep away
Like air from a punctured tire,
My dreams and my heart are deflated,
There is nothing to accomplish,
No one will see you as I wanted them to see you,
This has been my unforgiving failure.
poem
by
Uriah Hamilton
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