Click in the field, then press CTRL+C to copy the HTML code
<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=513045" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Grains</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=513045" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">What's the relationship<br>between a grain of rice<br>and its stalk or the stem of the<br>rice plants? The corelation between<br>the two is in other words<br>the source and the results<br>that will reap what the source<br>had told it to produce<br>in the beginning when<br>the source let the stem out<br>in a sprout form<br>the weed that many farmers had to toil<br>in hot sunny days to replant<br>in another rice field with some water<br>underneath. Water! Yes.<br>It's the source for life along with<br>the source that is planted under the ground<br>where the water was filled in with.<br>'I am going to see if the rice pad is safe<br>from this night storm.' In my bed side<br>I heard father say these words before<br>he put on his rain coat and boots <br>at 2 or 3 in the morning the good farmer<br>the good father the good pharmacist father<br>my father, he was so worried to think about<br>the rice fields with so much water ruin them.<br>It's in the midnight or after that and he...<br>with no other assistants was willing to<br>walk through the pouring rain on one<br>day in July that summer when he asked<br>me to stay in bed cozy while leaving for the<br>fields by himself. I slid down the blanket<br>though it was the summer time, was a bit<br>chilly for the storm the pouring rain<br>made the temperature quite low and<br>I felt cold after father had gone a far from <br>the house. I was so lone that moment<br>thinking about my father wondering where<br>he might be on which road he might be<br>treading upon what kind of gravels or<br>maybe some frogs dead flat or some<br>wet insects like the Yochee or Maettugee.<br>The rain usually wet those small insects<br>only to make them jump high and tremble <br>with cold and shake off the water from<br>their bodies. But it's the water that gives<br>them the life the food the fresh air, the feeling<br>of aliveness the inspiration God had granted<br>to all His creations. Yes, those small creatures<br>might have to escape from my father's boots<br>to run for life in they happened to lay their tired<br>and wet bodies on the natrrrow roads my father might<br>be walking on in brisk motion to go see his rice fields<br>so that he can stop the water pouring or flowing on the<br>fields from destroying his family rice fields.<br>I still lay in my bed side and am covered with the<br>warm blanket that keeps me warm on that rainy<br>night no dawn and roll lazily this way or that way<br>waiting for my father to return home from his hard work<br>rough and tough it seemed to me to do for<br>he doesn't have the healthy body to work the <br>manual labour with no assistants, only the tools<br>like the shovel, the hoe and maybe the bucket<br>he might have to find on his way to the rice fields.<br>His shoulders were cracked when he got a car<br>accident and so were his legs. As a result of that<br>accident, he was found to have an aching shoulder<br>and a limping leg with which he did all he could<br>to work on the rice fields and grape farms and <br>his small rural pharmacy to support his family<br>including his 4 children he sent them to school<br>all of them even his young brother as well. He was <br>never so proud though that he had those children all<br>educated at universities but sometimes <br>he bragged about how they were so diligent in <br>studying for the education and made him<br>encouraged to pay for their schooling. He also<br>never forgot to mention his young brother my uncle he<br>sent to college as a young older brother with no<br>father to support them for his father my grandfather<br>died when father was 7 years old. My uncle 1 year-<br>old at the time slapped his dead father's cheek<br>to wake him so that he could play with the father<br>as he usually did, but the dead father of my uncle<br>my grandfather was cold stiff with no movements<br>to show his young baby boy who slapped his<br>chill cheek the kind of love and attention he needed<br>for he was long gone dead lain behind the curtain<br>which my aunt might have witnessed as a little girl<br>was motionless and stiff as hard as he was, which made<br>my baby uncle wonder where he might have gone...<br>with his body there before he eyes and his soul gone.<br>My uncle sends his only brother who sent him to<br>college while he himself didn't even finish his <br>middle school education $1000.00 once in a while<br>to thank him for the sacrifice he made for the young<br>baby brother. But me a sister of my baby brother<br>didn't sacrifice anything for my brother whom<br>I used to take care of when I was a child carrying him<br>around in my arms and spending time with him<br>showing him the things he might needed to know or<br>wanted to do with me like playing with the rocks<br>in the river sides or eating the wild weeds or fruits<br>we picked in the hilly fields around our father's grape farms<br>until he reached a little old, his boyhood period when<br>he became quite heavy for me to carry him around<br>in my arms. Then I laid him down on the ground for<br>him to walk on his own feet; but after that I didn't pay<br>much attention to him nor to what he was doing with<br>his life for I was so busy with my life going so hectic<br>and tremendously crazy to the point where he my baby<br>brother became my care-taker to take me to the<br>hospital where he was doing his internship as a medical<br>student to have me checked with my neurotic symptoms<br>I had developed over the years with so much abuse having<br>been done unto me and my brain as an intellectual<br>a person with the sound mind to think clearly though the<br>distorted and perverted reality, which threatened many<br>who are in the authority sectors who eventually wanted<br>me dead with no mind to practice with to make them see <br>who they really were and what they were doing behind the<br>scenes including the kind of wicked schemes that they <br>had planned to be practiced upon individuals like me; <br>Yeah, what have I done for my brother any attention to<br>what he was thinking about, what he was trying to reach<br>to be as a human being or what kind of things I have given him? <br>Not one penny I spent on him, maybe I might have neglected<br>that he needs any of my help for he seemed to be doing<br>so well with no words of complaints or grumbling <br>yeah it was me in the end who was put under his care <br>who could manage the hard times the times we<br>as people with right minds were suppressed to be the morons<br>to follow the directions the people in authority were giving us, <br>maybe I thought he is doing much better than I am or<br>was in much better shape than I was in for he held a job<br>though he had to change jobs several times here and there, <br>held a family with a couple of kids with him though they despised<br>him and treated him look like a low class citizen, <br>had good connections with people in different groups in <br>different social status though he didn't let himself <br>completely devoted to any of them, <br>yeah but he was able to do the things he needed to do for me<br>to get by everyday my daily life and be fed and safely move <br>through this life with no particular trouble observing all the things that I was going through with no words of <br>condemnations or judgments.<br>When I was in need of money he gave it to me, <br>when I was in need of<br>flowers he gave them to me, <br>when I was in need of consultation, <br>he gave it to me, but nowadays, I to me <br>have not been able to hear from him, he is gone<br>from my life, no way to reach him by any means, <br>what happened to him? <br>Mother doesn't know about him very well, <br>doesn't care about it, sister doesn't know about it well, <br>doesn't care, brother is too busy to mind his brother's affairs <br>too obsessed with his work and family life that his brother's <br>howabouts are not one of his main concerns; <br>but my brother's gone for many months and <br>I worry something might have happened to him and <br>nobody tells me anything about him except telling me that he is not well; <br>Because I have been under his care for all<br>these years, I need to know but they don't tell me. <br>I have been his burden? <br>Maybe that's why he has been avoiding me? Or<br>what may have happened to him? Why nobody tells me anything<br>about him? I have had several family members I have not been<br>able to interact with, some 28 years some20 years.<br>Why is this happening to me? What are the people who I call<br>family members who are all strangers in my life leave me<br>all alone with no personal contacts and or no daily interactions<br>with which I could feel I am one of them one of the family that<br>I came from? Though I had to go through such a terrible<br>persecution by the society as someone slightly smarter and<br>wiser, I still hold my integrity as a human being and the people<br>who have been my supporters all have disappeared behind<br>the scenes one by one people have been disappearing from <br>my life my face which have been going through so <br>many phases changing their shapes and impressions<br>depending upon the circumstances.<br>I became a pig, a bird, a sparrow, a monster, a dog, a cat, <br>a cat black, a willow tree, a butterfly, a swan, a goose, a caterpillar <br>and finally... a human being in the end. <br>But why was I forced to become so many life forms and creatures <br>in order to reach the state of being who I really am and <br>who I was born to be and who I originally was? ? ? ? <br>Was there any plot against me to make me not the person who I was<br>and was to be? ? Yes, of course. Because of that, my baby brother<br>had to see so many dirts and filthy paints painted on my face and<br>body while growing up as a child, an adolescent and a youth until<br>I could bear them no longer enough to have to leave the country<br>with no knowledge of where I was going to, what I was going to do<br>and how I was going to survive with what kind of people with me<br>as escorts or friends or maybe family members. He the boy brother<br>bought me some gifts when I was leaving the peninsula: the watch, <br>the orange coat, and some warm heart he put in those items<br>he handed to me. He also sent me the books I left behind when I<br>asked him to do without charging me any money for his effort or<br>postage along with some letters. To him I was a sister who could<br>do so much more than I was doing, who could survive all the trials<br>the life was presenting to me to suffer through, in other words, <br>I was still the sister who could lift him up from the ground and <br>make him move with no feet of his to touch the ground for so many <br>years the miracle worker the proud and haughty but never harsh one<br>sister I was. Yes, I never yelled at him nor frowned my <br>upon him for he didn't seem to be doing any thing that made me frown upon, the boy was a good boy in my eyes and that's how I remember him; but what had happen to him, why is he not answering my phone calls? <br>No body paid any attention to me when I was dying away with<br>a little brain left from the persecution from the creatures the monsters who were ripping me off ripping all my ability to think, to speak, to reason, to see through the things that were clear to me when I didn't have all the dirt <br>and filthy paintings on my systems. <br>I was slowly dying away as the weed with no water <br>to get it refreshed with, no air to make the CO2 with, <br>which will make his life much more meaningful and livable. <br>Ah, I wish I was left alone with no dirt or filth<br>to have to cleanse from my system...those dirts were painted <br>upon me and didn't stem from my system no made by me. <br>So did I waste all my life putting those dirts on my face and <br>body only to cleanse them away? <br>Was it what I was destined to do for so many years <br>with so many unnecessary emotional tensions and upheavals? <br>Ok, now what does this have to do with me and father <br>who had gone to the fields at dawn in that stormy rain? <br>I am back to the bedside under the warm blanket wrapping <br>my small faculty my body in night garments and <br>think through the process he had to go through to<br>send all his children to the public schools while working so hard<br>on the fields on the grape farms and in the pharmacy that kept<br>him from being a free relaxed human being and forced him<br>to escape from for that shop gave him too much stress given by<br>the customers who demanded him the immediate attentions and<br>services regardless of their arrival time or urgencies. <br>My father's need to be in charge of the business was <br>totally ignored for all they wanted from him was the absolute <br>and immediate service without ever wanting to wait for him <br>to finish with his previous work assignments. <br>Father used to yell at them once in a while<br>'Wait! ! I am still assisting this person. <br>Wait until your turn comes.'<br>That didn't apply to me and mother who didn't <br>dare to shout at the customers for father was the only person <br>who could do such things for he was the figure with authority <br>in the family and he was doing all the works to make the family going <br>without any financial troubles or major catastrophes <br>like some disease inflict on his family members. <br>And again, what does this have to do with me on the dirty filth <br>and my father on his assignment in the heavy rain? </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=513045" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">To be continued...</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><a href="http://poems.citatepedia.com/">poem</a> by <strong><a rel="author" href="http://authors.citatepedia.com/by.php?a=Sangnam+Nam">Sangnam Nam</a></strong></div>