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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>I'm Having An Unrequited Love Affair With Myself</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">I'M HAVING AN UNREQUITED LOVE AFFAIR WITH MYSELF</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">I'm having an unrequited love affair with myself. <br>It's surrealistically ironic and spiritually annihilating<br>at the same time, and I can say from personal experience <br>black holes have a profound sense of humour. <br>The waterlilies look up at the stars and wonder <br>if they could shine like that if they ever dried out. <br>Fire and water. The serpent fire of my electrical potential <br>jumps the gap like a spinal cord, a bridge is made. <br>Spiders weave enlightened filaments in a light bulb<br>like webs of neuronic wiring into dream catchers <br>and empowering mandalas. I have ignition. <br>Billions of eyes light up in the dark like fireflies. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">I always thought if I really wanted to do the world some good, <br>I'd lead it away from myself. My alter-ego <br>shines like a demon in a dark light whose intelligence <br>is intent on ruining my life compassionately <br>out of a begrudging respect for sacred rodeo clowns <br>with red geraniums sticking out of their straw sun hats <br>like pathetic solar flares of blood trying to wave a red flag <br>to draw the bullshit off a Pacific mystic Zen cowboy <br>about to be gored by a horn of the moon in her crone phase.<br> <br>All the women I've ever loved, lived, left and will live with <br>on these thresholds of the sublime and the ridiculous <br>like a seance that can see a future in calling things back from time, <br>have come to me in an aura of dark energy <br>like a poem in a dream expanding into space.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Or you could see Ophelia under her deathmask <br>drowning in wounded flowers. Two witches, <br>an apostate madonna, one ferocious priestess <br>from the dark side of the moon, one incubus, <br>one lamia, a Medusa, a delusional gold-digger <br>who kept working me like a motherlode <br>although I told her from the first all you're going to find here <br>is the slag of meteoric ore that's been mined out. <br>The last thing I heard her say when I left her <br>singing like a canary in the belly of an anaconda, <br>as I climbed out of the grave she was digging for both of us, <br>was, I thought you were rich. No, I replied, <br>a little taken aback at my innocence at this late date, <br>I just gave you everything I had <br>because I thought it would make you happy <br>if I gave you what you asked. Who else <br>should I have given it too if not you? Good-bye, <br>with blessings on your house and head, <br>that erotically upgraded body of yours<br>and all your excellent possessions. <br>I'm going to sleep with a bridge tonight <br>that knows there's two sides to every river <br>holding hands secretly under the mindstream <br>and the bird can't fly when it's a lapwing <br>trying to lure danger away from its cosmic eggs <br>and all the other wing's doing is flapping its lips. <br>And one Female Principle of the World <br>that needed me to help her incarnate in bed. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Muses all. Eclipses and full moons alike. <br>Eras of my life. Legends of my genome. <br>Each a different planet with a physics of her own. <br>And me the mere scaffolding of bones, <br>the passionate snakes and ladders <br>they climbed up on to paint their picture-music <br>on the ceiling of esoteric pantheons<br>where the goddess is always the pearl, black or white, <br>and when I know what's best for me, <br>I'm the big-mouthed lunar oyster shell<br>gaping at the moonrise in desire and wonder<br>dying to say what leaves me more speechless than silence.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Never knew a woman who wasn't a sky higher<br>than my wingspan, a sea deeper than my wisdom <br>despite the oceanic commotion on the surface. <br>I was always a continental ledge shy of their depths, <br>and even though I knew how to swim my way <br>through the darkest diamonds as easily as I did the night, <br>I've always considered it spiritual bad manners <br>and an abuse of grace, if I've paused to listen <br>to a mermaid singing to me, and I haven't drowned <br>in applause for her as soon as the song is over.<br>If you're not willing to die for the picture-music<br>you're just another flatlining event horizon <br>looking for a lifeboat like a whole note with a tin ear<br>that can't hear you singing like the fog horn <br>of a dinosaur mired in a tarpit like a keyboard of bones. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">You don't ask a goddess to be a sacrifice.<br>Your heart gouged out like an organ donor to the moon <br>you lay it while it's still beating like a bleeding ruby <br>on her temple stairs and by that she'll know <br>you were a real king of the waxing year<br>and eat it like the forbidden fruit of enlightenment<br>when the jewel is in the lotus like a dragonfly <br>in a waterlily, and she smears your blood like lipstick <br>on the petals of a rose that worked witchcraft <br>with the flavours of life and love she left in my mouth.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Most of the time there's no interrogative scorpion <br>of bitterness up my sleeve of stinging nettles, <br>nor in her shoe when I put her crystal slipper back on, <br>having just removed a splinter of glass from the paw of a lion <br>I hope will remember my kindness if we're ever <br>in the Colosseum together as audience to the act <br>instead of predator and prey of the fact <br>that the asters at the end of summer that we cherish most <br>are adorned by time in a romantic rite of passage<br>and then apotheosized as constellations of the autumn <br>approaching our lingering ghosts like a seance <br>of the fruits of the earth that all fell in their own good time <br>singularly, or a windfall in the night, sweetened by our ordeals <br>as if our hearts had always been bears in a beehive <br>of rapture and loss and paper wasps <br>getting mystically hammered on our tears<br>like the lightyears of life that have aged like stars in our eyes.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">I can still taste the mystery of the dark mirrors<br>we held up to each other like synchronous swimmers, <br>that deepened so many insights into the strangeness of human nature, <br>even long after we entered the abyss of the future <br>like empty urns, I swear, there's still a dragon in my ashes<br>that rises up like a pillar of fire or a solar flare, <br>an eternal flame, a sudden efflorescence of stars, <br>and makes a deep, sweeping bow to the women I have loved <br>who left me these gloves of moonlight <br>glowing on my windowsill when I'm alone in the dark.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=476693" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">And I can hear the Canada geese heading south, <br>and I remember how vast and eyeless the sky is <br>when exhausted lovers part like frayed mindstreams<br>trying to flow past the sacred junction where two rivers meet <br>without realizing the mingling of their waters is indelible<br>and it's hard to find reverse in a universe <br>that just keeps on going the same way <br>in this time and place, this now and here<br>the same path of thorns and rose petals <br>that everyone walks like the wind in love, <br>leads everywhere like fireflies trying to read a starmap<br>from the past, that's left its future far behind <br>trying to catch up to what it just let go of<br>like an almagest of prophetic zodiacs to come<br>longing for the Beast Mistress of the animal kingdom <br>to make them jump through their burning hoops again <br>like moondogs or the black haloes of comets<br>that keeping falling through the coronas of the sun, <br>or a dragon dancing in the ripples of the rain <br>after it's just swallowed the moon like the cosmic glain.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><a href="http://poems.citatepedia.com/">poem</a> by <strong><a rel="author" href="http://authors.citatepedia.com/by.php?a=Patrick+White">Patrick White</a></strong></div>