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My world is falling apart and i can't stop it
i just want to hide,
i don't want to face the world,
it feels like it too much,
i'm slowly slipping,
and it like nobody catching me,
i'm losing my grip,
i just want out,
i want to numb the pain,
but i know that not the answer,
i want to scream,
but it no sound comes out,
i put on a front,
like everything okay,
but inside i am falling apart,
losing all control,
i don't know where it will stop,
i feel sick,
i feel like i'm losing control,
and i must find a way to hold onto it,
nothing is easy,
but if i open up,
than i'm weak,
if i give in,
than i want attention,
it just never seem to end,
i'm hurting inside,
and i don't know how to deal,
it like i don't have permission,
permission to feel the pain,
i'm not surpose to be 'that girl'
i'm a big girl,
i'm surpose to act tough,
but i feel like i'm losing the battle,
it feels like i'm letting ppl down,
like i have to remain tough,
while everybody around me falls apart,
it don't feel fair,
that i can't express myself freely,
the past and present combining into one,
it's a never ending fight,
all i ask is to be free,
but no matter what,
the pain follows me like a shadow,
i can't seem to shake it,
but i can numb myself to not feel the pain.
poem
by
Mona Martinez
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