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Father's Day, Forbidden
Yet another Father's Day fastly apporaches
And a force outside of my control still encroaches
Upon my ability to be the Father I know I can be;
Two beautiful little Angels grow, yet, I can see
Only photographs-which surely do not show me
More than a brief moment in time-they do not know me,
Nor do I know them, yet we share a connection beyond the miles
That now seperate us. Am I cause for any smiles
They may have in times which are wholly their own! ?
Will this estrangement cease before they're grown,
And are able to make decisions without the influence of another?
When will they break ranks with the one they call 'Mother'-
To allow that their own concerns finally be considered?
When will the maternal selfishness, that has embittered
A Father, yield to the need of Daughters to know from whence they came?
I carry only remorse for the loss they have suffered-the shame,
That should be held by the two women who purport
To know what it means to be a Mother, yet fall very short!
I may not be the Father I know I am, until this veil of shame is lifted-
Nor may these Angels truly know what God Himself has gifted,
Both to me, and to them-this Father-Daughter bond;
To our tragic loss, how shall the Fates respond?
The answer will only unfold through the hands of time
And the travesty we now face may only be described as a crime.
I live many miles from them, but I carry them with me always-
No amount of time or space may take this away-all days
Which pass without them in my life belies the gratitude
I have for their very existence-indeed, a bittersweet beatitude!
One day, 'this too shall pass' and my heart's ache shall cease-
One day, this soul shall sing the sweet song of its own release
From the torment I now feel, for a consort that is not allowed, to be!
The gracious gift of Fatherhood, once avowed to me
By the very Hand of God, has been stolen by ignorance-
Earthly ignorance of the import of same-my abidance
Is surely not of my own making, but in nature, Divine;
When I wonder, shall this end! ? Just a little sign
Is all I shall need, to sustain me further still-
Until such time as this estrangement's end is His Will!
In the meantime, another poignant Father's Day to me
And all those similarly in search of their purpose: to be
All they were meant to be, for a child who needs their guidance.
This is what must be one day, to cease this soul's subsidence
Into an abyss-from which a return becomes less and less likely.
Instead of wondering: 'what if? ', I need to know what might be,
In a world filled with the two wonders-as my dreams have shown.
I need my eyes to behold, not photographs, to see how they have grown;
Until these dreams meet with reality, I shall never be whole-
Until you are again near me, we will never recover what they stole!
-Maurice Harris,13 June 2012
poem
by
Maurice Harris
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