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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=426423" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Revolution At Market-Hill</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=426423" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">From distant regions Fortune sends<br>An odd triumvirate of friends;<br>Where Phoebus pays a scanty stipend,<br>Where never yet a codling ripen'd:<br>Hither the frantic goddess draws<br>Three sufferers in a ruin'd cause:<br>By faction banish'd, here unite,<br>A Dean, a Spaniard, and a Knight;<br>Unite, but on conditions cruel;<br>The Dean and Spaniard find it too well,<br>Condemn'd to live in service hard;<br>On either side his honour's guard:<br>The Dean to guard his honour's back,<br>Must build a castle at Drumlack;<br>The Spaniard, sore against his will,<br>Must raise a fort at Market-Hill.<br>And thus the pair of humble gentry<br>At north and south are posted sentry;<br>While in his lordly castle fixt,<br>The knight triumphant reigns betwixt:<br>And, what the wretches most resent,<br>To be his slaves, must pay him rent;<br>Attend him daily as their chief,<br>Decant his wine, and carve his beef.<br>O Fortune! 'tis a scandal for thee<br>To smile on those who are least worthy:<br>Weigh but the merits of the three,<br>His slaves have ten times more than he.<br>Proud baronet of Nova Scotia!<br>The Dean and Spaniard must reproach ye:<br>Of their two fames the world enough rings:<br>Where are thy services and sufferings?<br>What if for nothing once you kiss'd,<br>Against the grain, a monarch's fist?<br>What if, among the courtly tribe,<br>You lost a place and saved a bribe?<br>And then in surly mood came here,<br>To fifteen hundred pounds a-year,<br>And fierce against the Whigs harangu'd?<br>You never ventured to be hang'd.<br>How dare you treat your betters thus?<br>Are you to be compared with us?<br>Come, Spaniard, let us from our farms<br>Call forth our cottagers to arms:<br>Our forces let us both unite,<br>Attack the foe at left and right;<br>From Market-Hill's exalted head,<br>Full northward let your troops be led;<br>While I from Drapier's-Mount descend,<br>And to the south my squadrons bend.<br>New-River Walk, with friendly shade,<br>Shall keep my host in ambuscade;<br>While you, from where the basin stands,<br>Shall scale the rampart with your bands.<br>Nor need we doubt the fort to win;<br>I hold intelligence within.<br>True, Lady Anne no danger fears,<br>Brave as the Upton fan she wears;<br>Then, lest upon our first attack<br>Her valiant arm should force us back,<br>And we of all our hopes deprived;<br>I have a stratagem contrived.<br>By these embroider'd high-heel shoes<br>She shall be caught as in a noose:<br>So well contriv'd her toes to pinch,<br>She'll not have power to stir an inch:<br>These gaudy shoes must Hannah place<br>Direct before her lady's face;<br>The shoes put on, our faithful portress<br>Admits us in, to storm the fortress,<br>While tortured madam bound remains,<br>Like Montezume, in golden chains;<br>Or like a cat with walnuts shod,<br>Stumbling at every step she trod.<br>Sly hunters thus, in Borneo's isle,<br>To catch a monkey by a wile,<br>The mimic animal amuse;<br>They place before him gloves and shoes;<br>Which, when the brute puts awkward on:<br>All his agility is gone;<br>In vain to frisk or climb he tries;<br>The huntsmen seize the grinning prize.<br>But let us on our first assault<br>Secure the larder and the vault;<br>The valiant Dennis, you must fix on,<br>And I'll engage with Peggy Dixon:<br>Then, if we once can seize the key<br>And chest that keeps my lady's tea,<br>They must surrender at discretion!<br>And, soon as we have gain'd possession,<br>We'll act as other conquerors do,<br>Divide the realm between us two;<br>Then, (let me see,) we'll make the knight<br>Our clerk, for he can read and write.<br>But must not think, I tell him that,<br>Like Lorimer to wear his hat;<br>Yet, when we dine without a friend,<br>We'll place him at the lower end.<br>Madam, whose skill does all in dress lie,<br>May serve to wait on Mrs. Leslie;<br>But, lest it might not be so proper<br>That her own maid should over-top her,<br>To mortify the creature more,<br>We'll take her heels five inches lower.<br>For Hannah, when we have no need of her,<br>'Twill be our interest to get rid of her;<br>And when we execute our plot,<br>'Tis best to hang her on the spot;<br>As all your politicians wise,<br>Dispatch the rogues by whom they rise.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><a href="http://poems.citatepedia.com/">poem</a> by <strong><a rel="author" href="http://authors.citatepedia.com/by.php?a=Jonathan+Swift">Jonathan Swift</a></strong></div>