Channel Tunnelling after Sue Morton
The French aren't good at queuing,
or praising pomp and power,
they far prefer pursuing
short skirts on Eyeful Tower,
'Gainst slander they love suing,
burn oil at midnight hour,
These aptitudes accruing
are they worth English flower?
Compared to French connection,
who'll treasure Virgin rail,
Examine our election -
'small' leaves great paper trail!
Though natural selection
from Darwin stems you're pale
reach sun-tanned spa complexion
not beach bleached stranded whale!
French prices rise more slowly
than those across the sea,
the French are oh so lowly
as foreign tourists see,
'tis known the French care solely
for neighbours, family,
Eternal equals wholly
fraternal, liberty.
The Euro's value's holy
Cents pounded seem to be!
Whoever could indict a
land so serene vents spleen!
What other fields are brighter
crops yellow, rust and greens?
what sense of humour lighter?
what love for Kings and Queens?
and what courageous fighter?
go tell it to Marines!
This verse could run on quickly,
forever and a day,
'til oil declines too sickly
to make inflation's hay
while sun shines, tempers prickly
will surely fade away,
as will these lines, though tickly
they surely pay their way.