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Sinless
The curves of life
Made me curly.
The time I should have
Stood straight, stuck to my morals
Rather I chose the easier way,
Principles burnt on the bundle of hay.
How I wished to follow Frost,
But 'the road not taken'
Remained untaken...
Action is tougher than words
But I could have done what I uttered
If this greed would not have
Crossed my way...
If I would not have
Been so concerned of my gays...
If my eyes could have
Seen anything else than my pleasures...
If my mind could have
Thought of anyone else than myself...
They said I am unscholary
And threw me into ' learning temples'.
Under the banner of spreading knowledge
They snatched my pure soul.
The more I became aware
The more I dug the well
Of reality, of heartlessness
Of cruelity, of truth...
And there I learnt
To worry about myself
Instead of my mother.
They taught me
How I came alone and would leave alone
Making me forget
That what I inherited
Was much for a debt
That I could ever advent.
Now I am scared to move furthur
Scared of my instincts
That are so unpredictable.
I have become a mystery
For myself.
I never had thought
I could do, what I've done.
I was stainless
Aware of what I could grow into.
I guess that is why I was
Scared of getting older.
Maturity feared me
When I had my childhood.
Though my world wad psuedo
Yet much much better.
Reachable were my dreams,
Fulfilled was my hunger,
Harmless were my desires.
Though they were fake
Yet I had a 'smile',
My greatest asset.
Atleast I was happy.
I am not the alone to blame
I was happy being ignorant.
But you all wanted me to rise,
To step out and face the world.
And when I coloured myself in its shades
You consider me raw, you put blames.
How I wish to relive those moments,
Moments when I was unaware.
Days when I was called innocent
Days of unreality
Days when fairies existed
Days when I was a child
Days when I was SINLESS.....
poem
by
Jaya Mishra
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