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Oblivious
Day after long dreadful day,
I come home and quietly
put on my mask
so they don't worry.
I have a fake smile
plastered on my face,
and yet they don't even
notice a difference from a real and a fake.
I tell them my day was
fairly good.... each day!
Maybe tell them I
was a little bored.
I cover up my body,
act like everything is fine.
They don't suspect a
single thing is wrong with me.
They can't see anything.
They can't see that underneath
my smile, I am screaming
for them to notice!
They can't see that underneath
my mask, I am crying.
They can't see the agony and
sorrow in my eyes.
They can't see that underneath
everything, I am bruised, cut,
and shattered to pieces.
Blood is everywhere!
They can't see that I
hide my true self from them.
They think my mask is truly me,
they don't know anything.
Late at night and on my own,
I don't have to hide.
I don't have to wear my mask
or fake smile or clothes.
I scream and cry out to the night,
blood oozing out of me,
the pieces of my heart
scatter on the floor.
No one hears my cries,
No one sees my tears.
No one can see how hurt
I have been.
And now here I go,
back down this road again.
Spiraling down further
into the darkness.
Depression is taking hold,
this time it's stronger
and even more resilient.
I don't think I will escape this time.
This darkness creeps all
around me, consuming all that is good.
Replacing the good things
with five more bad things.
It takes hold of me,
reaches inside of me
and takes out my heart.
Takes my soul out.
Then on to another
victim, leaves me,
a corpse with nothing left inside;
just a shell.
The night closes in fast.
And I prepare for the worst.
This time no one will
be there to save me.
They don't even know
that I'm already gone.
They only see what
they want to see, and it's not me...
poem
by
Jaana Coon
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