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Lyndsy Lohan Before the Judge (A Riff)
'Oh why do they always make a fuss,
Your honor I really didn't see that bus!
And I took that necklace on loan, on trust;
It disappeared between my, err, my bust.'
'I was really being mobbed, by fans,
It was all a whirl, you have to understand;
I‘m famous, did I disrupt your plans?
I'm sorry I was late to take the stand.'
'Do I really have to go to jail?
I hear they make you do your poop in pails.
Do you have a guard in there who'll do my nails?
Prison will make me miss the weekend sales! '
'Can't I do charity for the homeless poor?
I could go knocking, waving, smiling door to door;
They would love to see me being so adored;
Prison seems to me like such an awful bore.'
'Could one of my servants serve my time?
I know they're guilty of all sorts of ghastly crimes;
This one, D.J. Myke, dared to write in rhyme.
Put him in jail, that would be divine.'
poem
by
David McLansky
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